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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Baby shower?

34 replies

justhayley · 06/03/2012 19:47

Just wondering how many of u ladies are having baby showers?
Iv never been to one and not sure how I feel about them. Not sure about the idea of getting people together with the purpose of getting presents!!
Thinking of maybe having a little party and telling people they don't actually have to bring
gifts - and also include men.

What are ur thoughts on showers?

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Emsgale · 06/03/2012 19:51

hello
I didnt have 1 with my first felt like begging?!?!
my sis in law has organised one for me this time its on sunday I said id rather not have.prsents but she said people wanted to get a little somthing iv been to a few of my friends and they have all been about the presents found it a bit rude to be honest I think its up to the individual if tgey would like to bring a present for you but some of my friends write lists of what they want v rude (i think) xx

karatekimmi · 06/03/2012 19:58

I'm having one thrown for me, apparently. Not sure it's my kind of thing, but I'll go with the flow!

HamblesHandbag · 06/03/2012 20:02

I won't be having one and IMHO it all seems a bit grabby and 'me me me'. I just don't see the point of them and find the idea of sitting around with a load of women cooing over baby stuff a bit

Anyone who wants to send best wishes/gifts will surely do so (or not) voluntarily after the baby is born.

And if I was ever invited to one I would be Hmm

McPhee · 06/03/2012 20:04

I find them a bit vomtastic too. Surely people would rather wait until you've had a baby in order to celebrate?

DizzyKipper · 06/03/2012 20:14

Not having one and very glad to not be - don't like the attention and would feel bad, as though I were demanding and being greedy. Not concerned by other people having baby showers or not though - it's up to them and also the people attending whether they want to go and bring the pregnant person presents.

scarletfingernail · 06/03/2012 20:15

Not for me. Personally I feel it's a bit like counting chickens before they've hatched. I'd rather wait until the baby has arrived safely before celebrating.

If I was invited to anyone else's I'd go if it was someone I was close to, but I would not take a present. I would explain that I'd rather wait until the baby had been born and that I'd buy a gift then. I'm in the "it seems grabby" camp.

I might seem a bit bah humbug or old fashioned. I just don't like the idea.

pootlebug · 06/03/2012 20:25

Not my thing at all.

melliebobs · 06/03/2012 20:26

I don't see the point myself. But each to their own. Once I started my mat leave I've had no end of visitors n e way without the need of having everyone round at once and me having to cater/organise for!

BellaCB · 06/03/2012 21:24

I had one thrown for me as a complete surprise, which was lovely - but luckily the friend who organised didn't know I thought they were 'grabby'! I still think organising your own is very odd. But then I find wedding lists a bit 'grabby' too... Wink

aaahhhBump · 06/03/2012 21:27

My mum and Sister organised mine for me last Saturday. We requested that people bring a book for the baby, if they wanted to bring a gift. It was nice having a family gathering that wasn't a funeral.

My mum downloaded a couple of quizies and everone wrote a wish for the baby, like the fairies in sleeping beauty and we all ate loads of sandwhiches and cakes.

PrincessWatermelon · 06/03/2012 21:30

I can't wait for mine!! Based on other people's comments, I'm sure I'm not meant to feel this, much less admit to it!

But it's an excuse to have your girlfriends over, for sisters/aunties, etc to impart words of advice. Ones I've been to have always been great fun....food, some silly games and a chance to be spoilt a bit.

I wouldn't expect one for later children, but for my first - hell yeah! My SIL has already offered to host it.

Kind of like a bridal shower. But all about babies! Great chance to have a giggle and unashamedly talk about babies.

I won't write a list, though, that's for sure. It's about the party and social thing...presents a happy surprise if there are any.

EdithWeston · 06/03/2012 21:31

If it's called a shower, then you have to take a present (the name means "shower with presents").

If your aim is to have a pre-delivery party with no expectation of presents, then call it something else.

Hotpotpie · 07/03/2012 10:53

I had someone at work suggest one for me, and in the same conversation just as I was saying not for me another colleague waded in with how grabby she thought they were - Ive been totally against them since as clearly people at my work view them as rude BUT if my friends had organsed one for me then I would be really touched at a thoughtful gesture I think its a personal thing really

Missgiraffe1 · 07/03/2012 11:11

I'm not keen on the concept to be honest, but my friends and I love any excuse for a get together!
So, my BF is organising a wee lunch at her house for me and our other close friend who is due 3 weeks after me. She is going to ask them to bring a dish/cake/bottle etc, but no pressies.
I went to a babyshower last year, the mum-to-be ended up with a lot of very similar things (standard babyshower gifts) and admitted later that most of them weren't much use to her and were stuck in a cupboard.

lucyfluff · 07/03/2012 11:23

I'm having mine Friday night, and to be honest it's like organising a girls night out (without the wine!!). A few have asked if I need anything but we have just said its a catch up//chance to have a few drinks before everything goes crazy in the next few weeks!

I'm even making blue cupcakes for everyone to scoff in the pub with me :)

iloveberries · 07/03/2012 11:40

Baby showers make me cringe.

I had an "afternoon tea" for my closest girlie mates where we ate cake and drank tea or bubbly. It was lovely and a really nice excuse to get my closest girls together.

I told them no pressies and no cringey baby games, just a nice afternoon with mates.

As it was the girls chipped in and got me a pregnancy massage which was lovely and so thoughtful of them. I didn't feel grabby about it as I'd not asked for anything and they hadn't bust the bank themselves, just done a really considerate and lovely thing for me.

To be honest I'm up for any excuse to get together with friends though.

Someone I know registered for gifts at Mamas and Papas and everything was over £50 - I thought that was in EXTREMELY bad taste.

Flibbertyjibbet · 07/03/2012 11:54

A few years back we at work were 'pressganged' into holding one at lunchtime for a colleague. The person arranging it was from a country where its normal to have them.
We all thought it was very weird indeed. Firstly, getting pressies for a baby that is not here yet felt odd, then there were stupid 'games' and the girl who took it upon herself to organise and host it sat there with a notebook jotting down everything anyone said. She said it was the record of the event.
I am also of the 'its grabby' camp. If I was invited to one I'd just laugh and chuck the invitation in the bin,

There was a thread on here a while back about a shower person who hosted her own then asked the attendees to return gifts they had brought because she had specified gift vouchers and more expensive things in the list!

Beans1977 · 07/03/2012 14:01

I think this is one of those things where you can just do what you like and everyone will have different thoughts and ideas - a good friend of mine had a baby shower and loved it, so if you fancy one - go for it!

I am 100% sure it's not for me. Having had some losses before, I am too superstitious to 'tempt fate', and I would rather have people come round when the baby is born - they can hold the baby / make me tea, while I sleep / have a shower / brush my hair!

LouisaJF · 07/03/2012 15:21

I'm having one thrown for me at work in a couple of weeks despite the fact I have publically said I don't like them. I would much rather celebrate a healthy arrival, by which time anyone who wants to buy a present will have done and others will not feel obliged.

I also don't like being the centre of attention, but it doesn't look like I'm going to have a choice.

MamaMary · 07/03/2012 15:47

Ladies, please stop this awful American custom from becoming 'the norm' over here!

What's wrong with presents after the baby has been born?

Btw, I have nothing against a get-together before the birth where mum-to-be has specified no gifts - that sound lovely.

HamblesHandbag · 07/03/2012 15:57

oh yes, nowt wrong with a pre-baby gathering at all!

Alligatorpie · 07/03/2012 17:57

I am Canadian and we ( my froup of friends / family) usually have them after the baby is born. That way people get a chance to meet the baby. We don't usually play games but do eat and drink a lot! Yes people buy presents, but most of them would when they came to visit for he first time anyway.

I have been to showers before the baby was born and have felt pressured to buy 2 gifts as you can't show up to meet the baby empty handed!

I dont think they are grabby, but i do think giving out a wish list is tacky. I have never heard of that. I would probably buy something Useful rather than shop off the lst in that case!

MammaInTheMaking · 07/03/2012 18:20

I'm having a "pre-baby party" with my close group of friends a few weeks before EDD and there will most certainly be no games or presents or anything. Just literally a chance to see my group before my life changes forever and I may not have so much time of flexibility to see them. I'm really looking forward to it even though we meet up every 2 weeks or so at the moment anyway Smile

festive · 07/03/2012 18:52

like others on here i'm not a fan, would never organise my own and expressly forbid my friends and family from organising one for me! did not want - or expect - any pressies for baby beforehand.
also like others on here my friends got together and organised afternoon tea and bought me a spa voucher for a mani/pedi which was a lovely surprise.
i always prefer to hear of baby's safe arrival and choose a pressie and take it along when i first visit them.
a friend of mine had one and had a list - i did go but went off list for the pressie, controversial!

iloveberries · 07/03/2012 20:15

festive - i would have gone off list too - intentionally out of protest!!

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