who did you tell when you went into labour?

[Cazm2]

Hi all 37 weeks. Me and Dh had decided we weren't going to let anyone know initially when I went into labour. If things get complicated I may call my mum. Mil has decided she wants to know straightaway. However I don't want Dh disappearing or on phone constantly as she will be checking for updates. Same as sil both demanding. What did you do?

I was induced and we told everyone the day, and then she decided not to budge and my OH was driven made with the calls. When I did go into labour, it was my mum, brother, and MIL who were told.
However, I had made it clear that it was only going to be me and OH in the delivery room, and we only told them once I had had the epi and realised we hadn't done so before. So about 3 in the morning. They didn't feel the need to come up to the hospital at that time - strange really.

Two things come to mind. First, your DH could send a text to those who need to know.

Secondly, its your labour and your baby. Tell who you wish to, they will never know. And if they are the kind of people to constantly remind you of it, I am sure their are a few posters on here who can think of some kindly responses for them.

I didn't tell anyone. My mum is a horrendous worrier and first labours are often incredibly slow. Mine certainly was - gave birth 36 hours after waters broke. If I'd have told my mum she would have panicked about no news all night, not slept and had a full meltdown. I phoned from hospital 30mins after delivery. She couldn't believe it - esp as it was a few weeks early. In my case it was definitely best not to tell. There is no way in the world I would ever be telling MIL by the way.... As you say, everyone would be demanding to have updates. This is NOT what you need!!!

I should add that my brother was only told because he happened to be staying with my mum at the time. To be honest, it gave my OH something to do as I fell asleep after my first top up!

Told Dh that my waters had gone and 3 hours later DS was born. Parents, EMIL & friends told after. Best for us as no pressure or expectations and gave everyone a nice surprise.

No one, but I was ignoring calls and texts all day (labour started at 8.30am and ds born at 7.19pm) so they had an inkling, won't get the same option this time as someone will need to look after aforementioned ds so mil will know, which I'm slightly disappointed about but baby sitter is required!!!

MIL knew as she was looking after DD1 but no one else

when I had DD1 no one knew -they knew I had gone in for induction but we made it very clear it could be a long process and not to expect updates!

Nobody other than whoever needs to know - to care for dd and be with me. Nobody else. Inlaws would need minute by minute updates and be a total nightmare. My mum is too far to help and so I told her afterwards as well.

No-one at first. Not even dh to start with, I let him go to work about 20 miles away without saying a word. I don't know why I did that to be honest, I came over all cavewoman and just wanted to be alone. I told him after about 5 hours but didn't allow him home for another 4. I eventually told my mum after about 15 hours as her constant texts were driving me mad.

No-one at first. Not even dh to start with, I let him go to work about 20 miles away without saying a word. I don't know why I did that to be honest, I came over all cavewoman and just wanted to be alone. I told him after about 5 hours but didn't allow him home for another 4. I eventually told my mum after about 15 hours as her constant texts were driving me mad.

No-one who isn't either a birth partner or the babysitter for your other children!

My Mum found out about my labour anyway, and she was frantic with worry for a long time (unusually long labour, then DH wasn't able to get away to phone for a while after the birth). It's kinder for your family if they don't know - they won't be able to do anything but worry. And you do not want anyone trying to phone your DH or the hospital, you want him to be able to concentrate on you.

no one, was home alone with dd1 being sick so waited for dp to get home then rang my mum to watch dd1 when we went in.

so obviously not 'no one' but no one initially.

I was supposed to be going out with friends the evening I went into labour so I told them (and clearly told DH!) I think we may have rung our mothers on the way to the hospital but I couldn't be sure, it was all a blur (a very painful blur)

my dh wanted to tell his mum as soon as I went into labour. I said NO and we had a big row. i won but when it came to it I was in labour for days so everyone knew.

With my dd- we told everyone because i was having a planned section. With ds- my parents - only because we needed them to look after dd. everyone else knew he was coming that day anyway because I had given up hope of him coming naturally and was booked in for a section that day. No one knew that my waters had broken 5 hours before I was due to be c-sectioned and I ended up giving birth naturally.

Good friend (male) knew as he was round at ours having dinner when I went into labour. Another good friend (female) also knew as I lost my plug (tmi sorry) whilst on the phone to her - she was also pg so I blame the combined horrmones! Male good friend told another friend and suddenly everyone knew. THEN I told my mum as we had to drop my dogs off to her, and told my best friend. MIL only told after I'd been in labour for frankly far too long! I hoped not to tell anyone but the world and his brother seemed to know v. quickly. Hope to do things a lot more privately next time!

Nobody except birth partners. Was similar to PPs in that I was in labour for a long time before telling anyone at all - because I just wanted to be alone.

Will be the same this time - DP works, literally, minutes away so it will be easy for him to come home when needed. Daughter going to DMs, again, minutes away - so hoping to not have to 'let on' for ages!

Thank you its my first and I am Already worried without the pressure of having to tell people. Like you say I know my mum would only worry etc the longer it goes without news. Yes mil. Would be at hospital. Just seems Dh is more worried about hurting her feelings!

No one. It was 3am, I expected it to go on for hours an hours (it didn't, she was born by 9.30am), and MIL had said that she would come to the hospital and wait the whole time I was in labour there so we definitely weren't going to tell her!

If you think people will be bothering you for constant updates just turn your phone off!

At most hospitals there is nowhere for people not attending a birth to wait and visitors will not be allowed outside of visiting hours, and even if it is visiting hours then they wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the delivery rooms. It really isn't like TV where a variety of friends and family sit outside the room and pop in from time to time to see how you're getting on

no one but my water broke the day before and the in laws knew as they babysat me till my hubby came home from work as i needed to buy a few things and can't drive.

nobody initially, but told my mum after 2 days! no MIL to worry about, sadly, but I would not have minded her knowing, as ILs live overseas. Only told my mum as she called and I was having contractions over the phone at her!

whilst I was in 3rd and final day of labour, DH got a few texts from my dad asking for updates if he had a moment, but he ignored them.

this time, we will have to tell either FIL or my parents as one of them will be staying with us around the due date to look after DS!

Oh my word - I would definitely recommend putting your foot down re: MIL, or she'll be telling you how to change nappies/bathe/breastfeed/formula feed - whether you want her opinion or not.

And as for DH being worried about offending her; I'd make him more worried about offending you! You're the one birthing his child, for heaven's sake!

Hmm - bad night's sleep last night - hope that wasn't too blunt! :o

Agree with spannermary, this is YOUR birth, nobody else. You and your wishes trump everybody else(well,except baby) I told nobody for any of mine, except the last one when I needed emergency childcare. with DD3 I spent the day at my mothers labouring nicely and she didn't even notice! Baby born soon after I got home. This time I'm feeling particularly reclusive and wonder if I will even call DH and midwife until crucial moments.

Just dh.