Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

I think I am pregnant but DP says no!

100 replies

gardenpixies32 · 28/02/2012 20:24

We have been trying to conceive for only one month and I am now 11DPO and did a pregnancy test (Tescos own) this afternoon. It came up with a faint line (two lines) - so BFP in my opinion. My DP was convinced that it can't be positive as the line is "too faint". So I did another one (Predictor test) this evening and again a faint BFP (two lines). His response was the same - "too faint" so not pregnant. I explained to him that the earlier the pregnancy the fainter the line etc. He wanted his mothers opinion (he can't do anything without her and I it drives me mad) so I agreed and we showed her and asked her opinion. She is not the nicest woman in the world and looked as sour as a lemon when I showed/told her. She said the same as her darling son, probably not as "too faint". So I have told 2 people and neither of them gave me a hug or congratulations.

I am being silly? Am I pregnant? I am doubting it now.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Eglu · 29/02/2012 16:50

Agree with eurochick that you can use this as a reason why your dp should not run off to mummy since you obviously know more than her.

ProlificYoungGentlemenBreeder · 29/02/2012 16:52

My faint line is building a mega bloks tower as I type

ProlificYoungGentlemenBreeder · 29/02/2012 16:53

Oh I just got this!

Hurray congratulations!

ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 29/02/2012 16:56

Congratulations - so happy for you

HardCheese · 29/02/2012 17:48

Congratulations, OP. My very faint line is kicking me in the ribs as I sit on a birthing ball, and is due to make his debut in three weeks. Delighted for you, but concerned about the mummy-dominatedness of your husband, and agree with those who say you really need to sort this out in advance of the baby's arrival. Perhaps a good place to start would be to point out that you are now the mummy, and he needs to reorient his priorities. There will be three of you in your immediate family in less than nine months, and the third won't be your MIL.

Original poster

gardenpixies32 · 29/02/2012 18:53

Well, DP is phoning mummy dear tonight to tell her. I am still upset with her reaction and lack of emotion but I shouldn't have expected anything more from her. I think she is upset that her boy has other things in his life now besides her.

Some background of what I am dealing with...she rings him for the following reasons...
-Come to Tesco's with me, I need help lifting the dog food into the car (she is physically fit and works full time)
-Come with me to have my tyre changed, I can't drive to that part of town

Come to the new Sainsbury's with me, I don't know how to get there (she has lived in this relatively small town for nearly 60 years and we only have 2 Sainsbury's!)
My most favourite...come and help me thread a needle (but her eyesight was fine when she told me I wasn't pregnant with the faint line).

I understand that she wants to spend time with him and I said this to him in a kind way. I suggest her coming round for dinner etc and her excuse is always the same, "can't leave the dog"! So I told him to suggest us going round there for Sunday lunch, her reply was "I only have enough for two"!

I rest my case.

OP posts:

georgethecat · 29/02/2012 18:58

Oooooo she's a jealous mamma. Is his Dad not around? Sounds like she wants him on a leash away from you, he needs to set some boundaries.
Congratulations though, don't let her oddities detract from your good news, sounds like your mum is ace and you will get good support from her.

PiedWagtail · 29/02/2012 19:00

A line is a line ;-) Congrats!! you would NOT get two lines if you were not pregnant!!!!

And maybe you and your h need to discuss how things will be if you have a baby - would you be happy with him running to her over every little thing and belieiving her over you????

KatieScarlett2833 · 29/02/2012 19:02

Is she 5???????

TerraNotSoFirma · 29/02/2012 19:03

Big congratulations on the BFP :) and get that MIL sorted out asap. DO NOT let her ruin this, ignore her if she says anything nasty.

ahhhhhpushit · 29/02/2012 21:01

Has he called yet??? I seriously want to know what her reaction was!!!

AKMD · 29/02/2012 21:17

Congratulations!

This is why I gave up with non-digital tests when we were TTC DC1. DH and I spent ages analysing the cross/line to work out if it actually was a cross or whether it had just got wet or whether it was just showing through a bit After 4 months of arguing each time I just bought a twin pack of digital tests. No room for arguments there :)

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 01/03/2012 07:19

Fab news op

Can I make a suggestion? You need to speak to your dp now about how things are going to work in tge future. I would recommend him having set days /visits for him and some for your little family so she can buy enough food

HardCheese · 01/03/2012 09:05

OP, she sounds like a pain in the ass and a bit of a loon, to be frank, but there's very little you can do about her behaviour, and absolutely no point in being hurt about her lack of response. What should concern you is setting boundaries as regards her impact on your life as you become parents, and that means talking to your husband about how he can/ you can both still see your MIL, but on more agreeable/convenient terms, rather than him being at her beck and call for what sound like trumped-up excuses for contact.

Also, there's no way he should be 'consulting' his mother about your pregnancy test - that's a completely private couple issue at this point. He needs to establish some psychological independence and authority before the baby comes, or I foresee him consulting her about breast-feeding, calming the baby, weaning etc in a way that will make you feel undermined at a vulnerable time. I'm sure it's all fixable, but sooner would be much better than later. Congratulations again, and good luck.

littlepinkfizz · 01/03/2012 12:36

Fab! Yes I have 4 v faint lines , 3 of them now teenagers! Thought CIA would have to come and interpret the lines for me each time as that were so faint and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me! Congratulations x

SwivellingDicksTidyWife · 01/03/2012 12:39

Congratulations on the pregnancy. Commiserations on the MIL though, they tend to get worse once there is a grandchild to offer criticism helpful remarks about.

fairimum · 01/03/2012 12:44

can you get one of those that say 'pregnant' on them?? lol

HomemadeCakes · 01/03/2012 12:49

We could barely see the line on our test (10 DPO), but she is coming up to 3 and is my world.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 01/03/2012 12:52

Congratulations! How exciting!

And yes get talking to DP about boundaries ASAP. You and mini pixie are top priority now!!

TheCrunchUnderfoot · 01/03/2012 12:59

Congratulations!!

Time for a very frank discussion with your P where you make it very very clear that your nuclear family is you, him and the baby. I'm totally shocked at hte pregnancy test thing - use it as an example - totally inappropriate for his mother to be involved in that -utterly personal.

Make him see that.

And make it clear right now that now you are pregnant, this is especially important. If he wants his mum to have a good relationship with your family (good phrase to use) he needs to understand that there are boundaries that she will piss you off by crossing, and he would do well to help set those boundaries in place. What happens with your pregnancy and birth is the business of the two of you unless you BOTH decide to involve other people. Most of all, it may be both of your becoming parents, but your pregnancy is also YOUR private medical situation. Ask him how he'd feel if you discussed his erection problems with your mum, and ask him to remember that every time he opens his mouth to fill his mum in on details of your pregnancy without YOU being the one to ok it.

TheCrunchUnderfoot · 01/03/2012 12:59

Both of YOU becoming parents!

HappyJoyful · 01/03/2012 13:01

more support for a faint line - mine is 14mo old now..
After IVF, one can become obsessed with pregnancy tests and believe I NEVER had a faint line on any of the goes that it didn't work.. 11 dpo is early days, it should get bit stronger in a couple of days. As I think someone says go buy a digital one - the excitement of seeing the words pregnant can't be beaten!
good luck

jeee · 01/03/2012 13:06

OP - you're pregnant.

But his mother may be a little bit worried about relying on a pregnancy test (depending on his age, home tests probably weren't really the norm when she had him). And even if she knows how accurate tests are, she might be one of those people who think that you shouldn't share pregnancy news until you're 12 weeks gone.

albertswearengen · 01/03/2012 13:13

After 8 years of trying I got a faint line on a cheapy test I had at the back of the cupboard. Bloody dh wouldn't even go to the 24 hour ASDA to get me a proper one ( it was 11pm) and refused to believe it until I got a line on an expensive test the next day. DS is now 3.
Congratulations.

qazxc · 01/03/2012 14:36

i was also expecting whoops of delight when i showed my dp the test, not squinting and mmmmm not sure. bit of an anticlimax. but i think he just didn't want to get his hopes up. that week i got in confirmed by doctor (who made me take one of their tests, took a look and said you don't get more positive than that), and then i think the penny dropped. 6 weeks on all he can talk about is baby names, etc... congratulations, faint line is a positive in my book (you can't be a little bit pregnant).

Flip

1 2 3 4