Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Pregnant and Backpacking in India - advice please

47 replies

PollyIndia · 10/02/2012 16:37

Hi there
I am 36 and backpacking in India. I have been away since 27th Dec and due to be away until April.
On 14th Dec, I went to my office xmas party, got hammered (it was my last day at the company) and pulled this guy and we had sex and the condom broke.
Then on 22nd Dec, I got what I thought was my period. I have never had heavy periods and this was very light as usual. However I thought oh phew, not pg.
Then I went off travelling on 27th Dec, to Thailand initially where I met up with an ex boyfriend and we, both completely sober, had a fling for a few days. Didn't use contraception - I told him I wasn't on the pill.
Since I have been backpacking round India and missed my period but thought it was possibly down to being away and travelling. Then in the last week my breasts have grown and become tender so I did a pg test tonight and it came up positive immediately.
If it was the first encounter, I would be 8.5 weeks pg, with the second, 5.5. If it was the second, I would definitely go ahead with the pregnancy, as even if we are not going to be together, I have a relationship with the father and I know he would be involved and be a good dad. If it was the first, I am not sure I could - it's too sordid.
I already feel ashamed of myself, although these are the only 2 sexual encounters I have had in 2 years. Also, at 36, there is the question whether this could be my one chance to have a baby...
Does anyone know how far they can pinpoint the age of the foetus to enable me to get an accurate conception date?
Thanks for any advice.
Polly

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EdithWeston · 10/02/2012 16:44

A scan should tell with a high degree of accuracy. I've no idea how you souls arrange one in India though.

But the thing you must do immediately is get your malaria prophylaxis sorted out as some kinds are not suitable in early pregnancy. But you really must ensure you are taking the best possible type available and be conscientious about bite prevention - malaria whilst PG is often far more serious than non-PG.

beckyboo232 · 10/02/2012 16:56

Hi you really need to have a scan the difference between 6/9 weeks will be quite clear. short of that I have no idea sorry some digital tests give dates ie 2-3 weeks pregnant but these I don't think really are accurate after the first few weeks. I hope your doing ok? Take care

hippieshake · 10/02/2012 17:02

How strong was your positive line? I took my test at 5 weeks and the line was there but not as strong as the control line. I had quite high HCG levels too in my blood tests.

The only accurate way is to have a scan. The best thing is to try and arrange one asap, make sure that you have all your vaccinations and that you are taking care of yourself.

Original poster

PollyIndia · 10/02/2012 17:43

Thanks - it's pretty overwhelming I have to say! The line came up kin about 10 seconds so no doubt but I will do another in the am. Though actually one line was weaker now you come to mention it. WIll try and arrange a scan and I am up to date on my vaccinations.
At least I will know who the father is after a scan then I can make a decision based on the facts.
What a pickle.... and yet my initial reaction was happiness - then my brain kicked in with the doubts and questions.
Thanks for your comments - it really helps to have people to talk to, especially when I am here. I don't want my friends and family to worry so can't tell them

OP posts:

hippieshake · 10/02/2012 17:57

It's a big decision for you to make, but all the MNetters will be here to chat to if you need it. :)

You sound to me like you want the baby, and I know you think it's a bad situation, but you can work through that if the baby is the first guys. Don't let what other people will think or anything count, go based on what you feel and what you want. There is no black and white answer, but you'll find it :)

Alligatorpie · 10/02/2012 18:14

I would think that you would have no problem getting a scan, if you were in a city or even a touristy place. I would get to a hospital or a five star hotel and ask them where to go.
Good luck, I hope you get the result you want!

Char11 · 10/02/2012 19:42

Hi Polly,
Poor you, your head must be all over the place. As hippieshake said, don't worry about what others will think, whoever the father is. You sound like a pretty independent person, so I'm sure you could cope with whatever eventuality comes up! It sounds like it might be the ex-boyfriend if the lines were faint, but a scan will tell you for sure.

Whereabouts in India are you? From what I know the doctors are generally very good and I'm sure will look after you and give you the best advice re malaria etc.

Good luck, hope it all works out for you!

Original poster

PollyIndia · 11/02/2012 07:40

Thank you all. I found a hospital 10 mins from me and am going for a scan tomorrow at 830am. I hope so anyway, her english wasn't great.
So, at least I will know.
I don't know why I hope so much it's not the first encounter... though think I will have to go ahead whichever. The net result is the same I suppose.
I have been frantically googling pregnancy symptoms and all the things like extreme tiredness and sore breasts have only come in the last week - wouldn't that be quite late if you were 8/9 weeks into pregnancy? I know you can't say. Just want reassurance really.
Thanks again

OP posts:

daniwalkes · 11/02/2012 09:08

Good luck with your scan. Its do lovely to hear your so positive even though its not an ideal situation... Normally when you hear this everyone is angry or sad with the it all!!
Hope you get the answer your hoping for! Exciting!!!

RillaBlythe · 11/02/2012 09:18

its hard to say polly - for me the sore boobs are instantaneous, my first clue... good luck tomorrow.

Char11 · 11/02/2012 09:31

Same for me, sore boobs before I even had a positive test. But everyone is different I guess.
Good luck tomorrow. Hope it all goes well

TinkerMaloo · 11/02/2012 10:20

i have been pregnant 3 times now and every one has been entirely different.. extreme tiredness but no sore boobs and a bit of nausea with this one, previous one very very sore boobs, not so tired, sick as a dog, forst one, nothing, nada, aside from my ass getting bigger from day one.

Good luck with your scan and this is your baby!! who the dad is doesnt really matter, not if you want to be a mum :)

when are you due to come home from india? I would worry so much about food and bugs and stuff...

meloondoo · 11/02/2012 10:27

Hi there,

Glad you have got your scan sorted and I just wanted to say that you might want to start taking pregnancy vitamins with folic acid in.

Good luck with everything it sounds like you'll be a great positive mama! :-)

EdithWeston · 11/02/2012 10:32

You'll need extra high strength folic acid (you need a prescription for this in UK, can't remember the dosage), but anti-malarials strip the body of the B vitamins and you need the higher level daily to maintain levels.

Have you sorted out your malaria prophylaxis?

BTW: just thinking about it as an uninvolved person at a distance from events, I'd say it was encounter B, as it's pretty rare to menstruate normally once PG.

freelancegirl · 11/02/2012 10:35

Polly, one thing to remember is that (assuming it's the same in India as UK) when they give you the measurements of the baby they are usually dating from the day of your last period not the day of ovulation and/or implantation. Sounds to me when you say you would be 8 weeks or 5.5 weeks that you might be counting that from the day you had sex. 8 weeks pregnant actuallg means you had sex more like 6 weeks ago, depending on when you ovulated or implanted. Sorry if you know that already just thought I would mention it.

I've had 5 first trimesters and like everyone says, all pregnancies are different! Sore boobs do often happen early on though. Once youre back from the scan do a lot of googling about food, drink, medication (as been said about Malaria tablets if you are taking them) so you know what precautions to take. And good luck! Let us know how it goes.

Original poster

PollyIndia · 11/02/2012 12:01

I do feel quite positive I have to say. I also feel that I made the decision to have sex without contraception so really, I have made my bed. I am too old to have an abortion - if I never ended up having a child, I think the decision would weigh heavily on me. And I am done with partying. It's clearly not the ideal situation, but life doesn't always come all packaged up prettily as you would like it to. I own my own home in London and have a few friends who are pregnant and a sis who lives nearby with a 5 mth old. I just need to get home and work my arse off until the baby comes so I can support myself.

It's petrifying, but exciting, but petrifying...

Thanks so much - it really helps to have people to talk to as I can't talk to people here obviously.

I will ask for a folic acid prescription at the hospital tomorrow. I am in India for 3 more weeks, just in Goa, Hampi then Kerala. I will see what the scan says tomorrow then decide if I should try and come home earlier. I have survived north india and the toilets, hygiene trains and buses while unknowingly pg it seems!

I wanted an adventure, that's why I came to India. I guess this is just an even bigger adventure!

OP posts:

Original poster

PollyIndia · 11/02/2012 12:02

I am feeling much better today by the way - though I still hope and pray I am pg from the second encounter. Oh, and freelancegirl I had no idea about that... so think that means I would be 6.5 weeks pg then according to the docs?

OP posts:

freelancegirl · 11/02/2012 12:22

If you did indeed have a period on 22nd Dec the scan would put you at around 7 weeks pregnant, and that would be the second guy of course so good news! Great that you're now just in Goa and Kerala, India can bs challenging at the best of times! Just start taking pregnancy vits (including folic acid) and avoid getting food poisoning and you'll be fine :)

Char11 · 11/02/2012 16:20

Glad you are feeling positive today. You certainly have got yourself an adventure!!
I'm sure if you're sensible about what you eat and do all the usual things like sticking to cooked veg and fruit you've peeled yourself etc, you'll be fine.
Really hope the scan goes well tomorrow. I had one at around 6 weeks and at the least they should be able to give you the crown-rump measurement and you can actually then look the norms up online to see what the size means in terms of dates (if they don't tell you that).
And in the meantime, enjoy your amazing trip!

FootprintsInTheSnow · 11/02/2012 16:43

Good luck

frankie76 · 11/02/2012 17:02

Hope all goes well tomorrow

hippieshake · 11/02/2012 18:13

Let us know how it goes xx

TheGrandOldDuke · 11/02/2012 20:01

Wow you sound like an amazingly strong woman, all the best to you xxx

beckyboo232 · 12/02/2012 08:06

Good luck hope all goes well

justonemorethread · 12/02/2012 08:13

Haven't got time to read whole thread but I lived in Africa when pregnant with dd but my first thought is the danger of malaria - I wasn't keen on taking anti malarials and not sure what is reccommended in pregnancy. I think if you should slather yourself in mosquito cream and avoid sitting in places where there are loads of mosquitos, sleep under a net at night.
I managed not to get bitten at all, but you have to be really OCD with the mosquito spray/cream.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread