Pregnant and Backpacking in India - advice please

[PollyIndia]

Hi there
I am 36 and backpacking in India. I have been away since 27th Dec and due to be away until April.
On 14th Dec, I went to my office xmas party, got hammered (it was my last day at the company) and pulled this guy and we had sex and the condom broke.
Then on 22nd Dec, I got what I thought was my period. I have never had heavy periods and this was very light as usual. However I thought oh phew, not pg.
Then I went off travelling on 27th Dec, to Thailand initially where I met up with an ex boyfriend and we, both completely sober, had a fling for a few days. Didn't use contraception - I told him I wasn't on the pill.
Since I have been backpacking round India and missed my period but thought it was possibly down to being away and travelling. Then in the last week my breasts have grown and become tender so I did a pg test tonight and it came up positive immediately.
If it was the first encounter, I would be 8.5 weeks pg, with the second, 5.5. If it was the second, I would definitely go ahead with the pregnancy, as even if we are not going to be together, I have a relationship with the father and I know he would be involved and be a good dad. If it was the first, I am not sure I could - it's too sordid.
I already feel ashamed of myself, although these are the only 2 sexual encounters I have had in 2 years. Also, at 36, there is the question whether this could be my one chance to have a baby...
Does anyone know how far they can pinpoint the age of the foetus to enable me to get an accurate conception date?
Thanks for any advice.
Polly

WELL... I had my scan and I am 7 weeks pregnant. Thanks to freelancegirl for explaining that they calculate from when the egg is released as I had no idea. Though it is logical if you think about it. So it's defo my ex.
I saw the heartbeat! Really weird.
Thanks all for your help.
I need to try and find folic acid. I will check at a chemist. And re malaria, I will have to just slather myself in cream like you suggest justonemorethread. I have a mosquito net. I am only in goa for 4 more days so not sure it's worth taking my anti malarials now.
Life is a funny old bugger isn't it!
Thanks again

Congrats Polly!

Btw do not under any circumstances take Doxycycline - positively bad in pregnancy.

Hi Polly, so glad it's your ex and you got the result you wanted. Sounds like you wanted the baby all along, but understandably nervous if it was Christmas Party Guy. You sound fantastically grounded and rational and like you'll be a fantastic mum. Good Luck!

Polly - just to be clear, if they've said 7 weeks that's calculated from the date of your last period, not when the egg was released. Which means you probably conceived about 5 weeks ago, which ties in with your dates with your ex.

Best of luck with your pregnancy!

Brilliant - I'm so happy it wasn't office party guy. Good luck with your pregnancy - being a mum is grand.

Awh congratulations!!! Good luck with your travels and keep looking after yourself and the baby :) xx

For heavens sake, check if your antimalarials are safe to take in pregnancy and take them not just now but also for the full number of days after you have left the malarial area for good. Do not short cut this. It takes only one bite, and malaria is also many times more dangerous during pregnancy. And you need prescription strength folic acid when taking antimalarials.

Please do the responsible thing and get this sorted out asap.

Congrats Polly! So glad you got the news you wanted, and how lovely to see the heartbeat .

Enjoy the last few weeks of your trip and enjoy being pregnant now that you can relax about the father!

xx

Polly! That's so exciting! You wanted an adventure... As someone the same age as you with a love for travelling too (I write this from the Caribbean :) ) I can relate to the fear. Even though I am married I was freaked out when I first got pregnant last year but knew that I had to have it. I don't want to bring the thread down with my story but I had a miscarriage and then another one straight after. There's nothing like a miscarriage to make you realise you do actually want the baby. I am currently 17 weeks pregnant (my third in a year! Been exhausting) and all is going well. I don't want to freak you out - having seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks that is a great sign, I just wanted to say on a positive note this is a really exciting time for you, just lap it up and enjoy it. Yes there are going to be some challenges and life changes but - wow, what an adventure. And what a great story!

BTW, When and indeed how are you going to mention it to the ex...? And how...? You must come back and tell us :)

PS there are some people who warn against using Deet when pregnant and others who say it's ok as the amount that gets into your blood is miniscule. Here in the Caribbean I am using natural repellent but there could be a case for carrying on using Deet in potential malarial areas. Edith has a point, you do need to carry on taking most anti-malarials a couple of weeks after you leave the zone anyway. So don't just stop taking them. Get on 'Dr Google' (who will become both your friend and a source of mentalling in pregnancy :) ) and you will find a lot of info on this.

I was just saying to go the mosquito spray route in case your anti malarials are not reccomended in pregnancy - goodness knows I would not want anyone to think I am advising against taking them if they are considered safe.

Just clarifying as it was on my mind!

Malaria is so dangerous and it's easy for us westerners to think 'oh that won't happen to me' as it's just not in our mentality.

Congratulations btw.

Thanks everyone. It's still incredibly daunting, but knowing that the father is someone I know well and have a relationship with (though I don't want a relationship with!) and it was a lovely fling on a beach in thailand rather than some sordid drunken one night stand has made such a big difference.
Re malaria, I have checked and you can't take malarone when pregnant and those are the only anti malaria pills I have with me. I haven't been taking them to date and I only have 3 more days in goa which is the only malarial area I am going to so I am just going to have to cover up and not get bitten. I don't think I have any other option.
I have to say, other than the risks of malaria etc, this is the perfect place to come to terms with something like this. I think if I was in London I would be finding it much harder.
Thanks to all of you for your advice. xx

The option is to go and get another prescription for a different malaria drugs, and keep taking it for the full required period. Many (most) cases of malaria in UK are seen in returning travellers who did not realise the importance of taking the prophylaxis for the full period especially after end of time in affected area. Ad malaria in pregnancy is much, much more serious a condition.

Please, I am begging you now. Go and get this properly sorted out.

And get prescription strength folic acid at the same time. Malarone strips your body of its entire store, and this is something you need to reinforce asap.

There are simple things to do, but incredibly important for the protection of your baby.

Here is an article which describes the additional risks of malaria in pregnancy. It also says which prophylaxis is safe.

I didn't really want to link this information on a happy thread, but if you are not taking prophylaxis, you need to read about the additional risks, especially those arising from atypical presentation (which is far more common in pregnancy) and what sort of care yo need to seek immediately should any o these symptoms show in the next 4-6 weeks (minimum).

I went to Goa twice at this time of year and was advised both times by doctors that malaria tablets weren't required.

Please make sure you take the malaria tablets! So dangerous not too. I went to Ghana when 2 months pregnant & was told I was more likely to get bitten. Apparently mosquitoes are like vampires and less likely to bite if you take garlic tablets. This worked for me as I didn't get bitten as much as previous trips but still got bitten a bit. Not worth the risk.

I've only just come back to a wifi hotel so sorry for the radio silence. PickleSarnie, you are right. For all the people saying I had to take anti malarial drugs, you are giving the opposite advice to the dr I spoke to in Goa. He said it was more of a risk to the pregnancy to take anti malarials in Goa as the risk is relatively small.
Anyway, I am now back in Mumbai and I fly back to london tomorrow - WOOHOO!
I can't wait. I got ill with a tummy bug the last 4 days and felt pretty miserable despite being on a beautiful beach. Luckily I bounced out of bed this am all better so the journey was fine.
Freelancegirl, thanks for sharing your story. I have to come to terms with this (I think!) and am really excited about what is to come. My parents are pleased too. Still not told the father, but I will. I am over 9 weeks already. I just hope it's a healthy pregnancy, as do we all I know.
Thanks again ladies

I will read the thread anyway. I only had one bite come up but of course you never know. Thanks

Congrats polly - really happy it's working out for you so far and great that your parents are so happy too.

You sound like you'll make a fabulous mum :)

Hi Polly god poor you with a tummy bug. pleased you didn't take the pills, I thought Goa was safe. When you get back get some pro biotics, Cytoplan do a very good one you can get them direct they are pricey but a very good brand. it will help build your gut strength back up. congrats to you.

Good idea, thanks surfmama. I was taking probiotics before I went to India but they ran out halfway through my trip. and thanks iloveberries too - really hope so. It's pretty bloody terrifying!