How to respond to "oooh you're not very big are you"

[staylucky]

I'm almost 36 weeks and no I don't look huge but am measuring fine, getting lots of movements so know everything's ok.

But SERIOUSLY every single person I meet or speak to for the last few months has felt the need to point out that I either don't look pregnant or that i'm not very big. This is number 3, I was like a whale with my last two, have no idea why i'm not this time, just how it goes. Now I remember feeling a swell of pride at being told how enormous I was last time around, dunno why, you just do, like you're doing an excellent job of bringing on a healthy baby.

So now everytime someone says this I feel I have to explain myself or just feel downright guilty. I know it's daft, theres nothing I can do about it, people are just tactless/have no idea/not their fault how i'm taking this but it is daily if not two three times a day i'm getting comments and I feel like i'm going to explode.

Sooooo, how should I respond? Would you say this to a pregnant lady thinking it's a compliment??

( My gorgeous best friends make a big point of telling me how portly I look since last time we met to make up for things god love em x )

Why does it bother you?

Just say "mmm" and change the subject!

I am measuring small and get this (35 cm at 39 weeks) I end up saying I am quite small but have been checked and am fine as don't know what to say either!!

Say, Thank heaven for small mercies?'

Well I get the opposite comments with all the trimmings (like "you're sure you're not eating a lot of doughnuts too?") and I'm very self-conscious of how big I am!! Honestly people just don't realise 1. It's a stupid comment as probably not even true 2. You've already heard it a million times 3. It doesn't help!! Just try not take notice and consider a side effect of being pregnant!

I just say 'big enough thank you' or 'much bigger than last time'. Both of which are true and seem to be well accepted.

tell them to sod off and mind their own business

as long as you are happy that everything is going well then sod 'em

got to be much easier looking after other 2 Dcs, and 'nesting' etc with a smaller bump :)

I'd say 'Isn't it great? I'm not uncomfortable and it means I'm gonna be in fab shape once I deliver' or somesuch... do it with a smug look. That'll learn 'em

True, true

Saw a mum from school in the corner shop this afternoon and I felt like crying.. It's that 'look' that hummmm.

I still can't reach my feet!

pictish I have tried a death stare once or twice which was suprisingly enjoyable

I'm the same. 37 weeks have a noticeable bump but very small and all at the front. I do feel like I've missed out a bit especially when people comment. But all I can say is the dragging myself to core stability classes have paid off and it's less to lose afterwards

Give them a cool stare, ask them to repeat themselves (as if you didn't hear first time) and if they are foolish enough to do so, say 'I didn't realise you were a trained midwife, as well as all your other talents.'

I have had this relentlessly for the last few months. It's almost accusatory, as if I'm intentionally starving my unborn child just to be contrary! I find that the MIL is a particular sweetheart for the pointed glances and comments. Bump will be my second dc, but the lack of hugeness is compensated for in my overall breathlessness, heartburn, general levels of discomfort!
Having been for a growth scan last week I can now respond to the comments with an assertion that while I'm not yet massive, bump is almost 2lb, and all is well! I hope everyone gets off your back soon staylucky!!

I say it to my daughter surely it's a compliment, means you will get back into shape after. I just think its human nature to comment. Better ask her if I offend her, she's 37 weeks and has a lovely neat bump.

I'd fix them with a steely gaze and say 'Oh yes I've been smoking throughout my pregnancy, to ensure the baby is nice and small. Should be like shelling a pea.'

Just to see the looks on their faces ;)

How about missing the point completely

'well I was a lot smaller than this when I was a child'

"We do tend to carry like super-models in our family"

What an insensitive comment, some people.

I am a lot smaller with this pregnancy than I was with my first and people can't believe I'm 38 weeks. I don't find it a worry what people think of the size of my bump, I just say 'yes, it's great, I was huge with DS!'.

I found having a huge bump very uncomfortable (as I'm sure most people do) so I'm really grateful for this one being smaller.

I'm 40+5 and no one can believe i'm term family keep saying how huge i am because there used to seeing me small but strangers keep telling me how small and neat i am my response is usually i love you or your my new best friend, i see it as a compliment better than my mums daily god your massive lol. Just see it as you look good and not like a whale :)

When I was 39 weeks I was out with my dog and walked with a lady and her dog. As we parted ways I said "Next time I see you I'll probably have a baby!" She asked, "How come?". She hadn't noticed I was pregnant! I had these sort of 'small' comments the whole time. People don't seem to realise that it feels like a slight on your ability to nurture your baby! That's how I felt at the time, especially with all the crazy pregnancy hormones! But my DD was 7lbs 6oz at birth and I got back into my jeans within 2 weeks! All being well with baby, I'm sure there are loads more pro's to being small than being massive!

I would have definitely loved to have some of these responses to say back!

Oh god my mother was at this at Christmas - "you're very neat" etc. She keeps asking me on the phone if I've "gained a lot of weight yet". In the end I just said "look, the babies were measuring completely normally at the last scan, if that's what you're asking" and she's kind of laid off now.

I don't know why people think it's suddenly OK to remark on these things when you're up the duff. Imagine their faces if you looked them up and down and said "I can't say the same, you've definitely put on weight since I last saw you" or something?

You could say (or at least think), "Thank you for taking an interest in my pregnancy in what you clearly believe to be a kind and flattering way! I know I am very blessed to be enjoying my third pregnancy and have no intention of taking offence at what are very obviously sweetly meant observations from people who wish me all the best"?

Congratulations, btw!

I'd say "why thank you, I did a lot of exercise focusing on my stomach muscles before falling pregnant and it is really paying off now".

The other day I had too people arguing about my size in front of me. One saying i was huge and the other saying I was really small.

I have therefore come to the decision that really people have no idea and just say whatever pops into their heads when they see you. I generally just roll my eyes, smile and say 'gosh, aren't I?' to whatever people say. If they really push just say you are measuring perfect for dates and walk away.

At them, I didn't get very big and neither of the DDs were very large babies.

Much more comfortable both during pregnancy and birth than if they're been heavier.

Makes no difference long term, DD1 (14) is taller than me and can no longer borrow my shoes.

feel for you, as i'm in same position. people either make insensitive comments implying that i'm starving my baby for my own vanity, or close family/friends think they are being supportive by making excuses for me to others (as if i can't speak for myself) "well, don't forget she is tall" e.t.c
personally i'm at the point where sarcasm is feeling good-i'm thinking something along the lines of "thats what you get for sinking so much gin (roll eyes) now where did i put that cocaine?"