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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Surely ALL first time births cannot be horrific?

65 replies

ChineapplePunk · 09/01/2012 01:47

This is sort of leading on from a thread in the childbirth forum where someone is asking if second labour is easier than the first. I understand that subsequent labours are often shorter and easier, however, it just makes me feel sick to my stomach reading about all the really negative first time birth experiences. I'm still going through cycles of being quite chilled out about labour and then panic strikes and I play all the worst potential scenarios over and over in my head. Pointless and silly, I know, but I do it nonetheless.

Anyway, I'm trying to convince myself that trauma and agony is not the norm for a first time birth and I wouldn't mind others trying to convince me of that. Due in April. Can't I just skip to May and have the bub in my arms? :-)

OP posts:

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DaenerysTargaryen · 09/01/2012 01:48

well my friend had a great birth with her first, just gas and air and not too bad :)

i love your name btw

Original poster

ChineapplePunk · 09/01/2012 01:51

Thanks, DaenerysTargaryen :)

OP posts:

NoMoreMarbles · 09/01/2012 01:52

My birth with DD was hard and there was a lot of pain involved(mainly as I couldn't have an epidural as anaesthetist was in theatre) but it was the most positive experience and any pain is quickly forgotten once the baby arrives why do you think people have lots if babies? for me it was nowhere near as bad as my expectations so I was pleasantly surprised avoid bad birth stories if you are really getting freaked out though I would say

nailak · 09/01/2012 01:53

no they are not, my first labour was longer but in no way traumatic or horrific.

BBQWidow · 09/01/2012 01:53

My first birth was really positive. I went into labour around 11pm, DH took me to the hospital, and I had an excellent midwife on duty who looked after me. I had gas and air, and some pethidine (no sleep the night before with BH, and needed to gather strength). By 6.00am, I had my baby in my arms, and was home by 2pm that afternoon.

It hurt, but that wasn't what I was concentrating on, I was more focussed on the reason for being there, than the pain.

I felt so positive about my first birth, that my second was a home birth, and that time I just had gas and air.

Sometimes I think poor first time mums get told all the horror stories, and those of us who have not had horrific experiences don't want to "brag", so keep quiet.

joanofarchitrave · 09/01/2012 01:58

DS was born in under 2 hours (well, according to the hospital, i would put it a bit longer than that!) A few bumps along the way and I don't think there's a birth which doesn't require you to be brave, but no, it doesn't have to be extreme.

Original poster

ChineapplePunk · 09/01/2012 01:59

"Brag" away, BBQWidow. It's lovely to hear. :)

I think also because I am older (I'm 41), that I have convinced myself my birth is more likely to be one of the awful ones. I realise that isn't necessarily the case though.

OP posts:

BBQWidow · 09/01/2012 02:10

Go into it as open minded as you can. I think it is easier to ride with what happens if you aren't too rigid about a birth plan. I wish you all the best for your birth x

MmeBucket · 09/01/2012 02:16

Mine wasn't fun, but it certainly was not traumatic. DS came out almost exactly 3 hours after my 1st contraction. I had no pain relief (that's what happens when you come into the hospital at 9 cm, I guess) and it was almost all pushing (18 inch 9 lb ds) but no traumas, very healthy DS, quick recovery, and I managed to do it again (on purpose) almost exactly 2 years later. All in all, I was very happy with the experience. AND it was all done in America, land of the horrific births. :)

Figgygal · 09/01/2012 02:17

Am here with a 2 week old boy, something i sometimes doubted I would ever see happen due to my concerns/fear/revulsion over pregnancy and childbirth and I have to say it really wasn't that bad (and I hate it when people say that).

I was in labour only about 12 hours after having to be induced, I used my yoga breathing techniques I had learned at classes to keep me calm and walked off the contractions until I had an epidural at 8cms. From there things did slow, I got a temperature and they recommended forceps which was the absolute last thing I wanted but at the time even that didn't seem too bad a prospect if it got baby out quickly and safely And from the point the dr recommended them he was out in 15 minutes.

In the end I had quite a medicalised birth but after the epidural it really was pain free and I don't look back on it with negative feelings at all. I would recommend yoga to settle your mind/calm your nerves I did find it useful on the day.

Hope some of that helps

NoHunIntended · 09/01/2012 02:22

For me, trauma, definitely not. Agony, yes, it was painful, but I managed at home with my first baby, so bearable, and absolutely immediately forgotten he moment he popped out. A positive, wonderful, awesome experience. I want to do it again. And again! Good luck!

Alicious · 09/01/2012 02:27

Longer, but my second was much more painful! If it helps, try focusing on the end result-I have never felt prouder than when I finally had DS1 in my arms (then he weed on me and being a parent began...) Best of luck op :)

Original poster

ChineapplePunk · 09/01/2012 02:30

I have fully resigned myself to the fact there will be lots of pain. I just hope it's pain I can cope with. I realise that may sound silly, because I obviously don't have a choice BUT to cope with it. However, I'm just hoping I can get through it without turning into a banshee of the highest order. :)

OP posts:

Sluttybuttons · 09/01/2012 02:30

My first labour lasted from 9pm till 11.28pm. All i had was gas and air. My second was a c/s as it was twins. I recovered reasonably quickly with both. All births are different and just because somebody had a traumatic labour doesnt mean you will :)

brdgrl · 09/01/2012 02:38

Mine was not entirely straightforward, but it certainly wasn't traumatic. Mostly I was sort of ...interested?

I had an epidural, which was as I had planned, and I am very glad that I did and have no regrets about that. Before the epidural, I had some pain - it turned out that DD was lying 'wrong' somehow, against my backbone, which I was told was adding to the pain. It hurt, but you know, it wasn't the nightmare I had feared.

Once the epidural was administered, I did not have any pain. In the end, DD was still turned the wrong way around and was delivered with forceps, which of course was not planned, but again - was not a traumatic event. I found the week or two after birth more uncomfortable than the labour itself, to be honest; I had a few stitches and sitting was quite painful.

I never screamed, I didn't cry, and I never yelled at DP or called him names. That was good enough for me...I really hated the idea of being that out of control with pain - and it didn't happen.

Good luck.

MJinSparklyStockings · 09/01/2012 02:50

Post birth tips from mum of three

take lactulose as a matter of course
big fat maternity pads (they are comfy)
few packs of bid asda knickers - just chuck them out
pre soak pads with a few drops of tea tree oil - wonderful
keep a sports water bottle next to tap, everytine you wee put a few drops of tea tree oil, fill with warm water and direct while seeing then pat dry

Excellent recovery.

PinkFondantFancy · 09/01/2012 03:02

My DD was a home waterbirth, no pain relief, no stitches. It was the most amazing, empowering experience of my life. However, I'm aware that although I'd spent a lot of time preparing as best I could eg perineal massage, hypnosis CD, visualisation etc etc at the end of the day the birth you get is mainly down to random chance and so I'll rarely talk about the birth unless directly asked as it's hard to talk about a good birth without sounding like you're bragging, and I don't want to upset friends that didn't have the birth they wanted.

Having said that, I don't think my experience is as uncommon as you'd think. 3 friends have had first babies with uncomplicated waterbirths with gas and air alone.

Watching programmes like One Born Every Minute isn't helpful as they only show dramatic births that make for interesting TV.....

ThePieSmuggler · 09/01/2012 03:05

I would go so far as to say I almost enjoyed giving birth, part of that is down to feeling (illogically) proud of the fact that I needed no pain relief. I used Hypnobirthing techniques a bit and had a home water birth (and I'm not really the lentil weavery type). Was in labour for 8 hours and I look back on it very positively

ThePieSmuggler · 09/01/2012 03:06

PinkFondantFancy......snap!

Original poster

ChineapplePunk · 09/01/2012 03:10

Brilliant! Thanks ladies. I will retire with much more pleasant thoughts that I had a few hours ago :)

OP posts:

rednellie · 09/01/2012 03:14

I had planned a homebirth, but ended up transferring to hospital. HOWEVER, I didn't use any pain relief until the transfer to hospital and then just gas and air. I didn't tear and I had no interventions. The three biggest helps for me were just taking one contraction at a time so I didn't get overwhelmed thinking about how long/far/painful it was going to get, to keep moving and to breath down and not into my throat (i.e. screaming, I did a lot of cow like moaning!! ). Think of it as energy getting wasted when it could be pushing the baby out.

It was long and hard, that's why it's called labour, but it was amazing. Like an earlier poster said, it was the most empowering day of my life and I think more people who have positive birth stories should sing them from the rooftops. I'm sure there are lots out there, you just tend not to hear them.

Birth isn't a competitive sport, you should concentrate on you and your birth and your baby. You'll be brilliant!

brdgrl · 09/01/2012 03:20

I think also because I am older (I'm 41), that I have convinced myself my birth is more likely to be one of the awful ones. I realise that isn't necessarily the case though.
Just wanted to add that I was 40 and had a 'high risk' pregnancy (due to a previous medical condition). I actually think maybe my 'advanced age' (ahem!) helped - I had more to compare the experience to, for starters, and maybe just that tiny bit more composure and confidence than I had at 25.

In the end, I have to say that my complicated wisdom tooth extraction was much more painful than my daughter's birth. And they didn't let me take the teeth home.

claireinmodena · 09/01/2012 07:10

Another positive experiencd here: gas &aur + Tens, hot to hodpital at 8.30am (waters breaking) dd1 was born at 5pm. Had lovely midwife supporting md thtoughout and only 2 stitches!!

Best of luck!

claireinmodena · 09/01/2012 07:10

That was "got to hospital" sorry

JambalayaCodfishPie · 09/01/2012 07:19

My first birth was fantastic - hospital at 11pm, daughter born two hours later, only needed gas and air, one very small graze, job done!

I am doing everything I can to emulate it the second time round!!!

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