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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Surely ALL first time births cannot be horrific?

65 replies

ChineapplePunk · 09/01/2012 01:47

This is sort of leading on from a thread in the childbirth forum where someone is asking if second labour is easier than the first. I understand that subsequent labours are often shorter and easier, however, it just makes me feel sick to my stomach reading about all the really negative first time birth experiences. I'm still going through cycles of being quite chilled out about labour and then panic strikes and I play all the worst potential scenarios over and over in my head. Pointless and silly, I know, but I do it nonetheless.

Anyway, I'm trying to convince myself that trauma and agony is not the norm for a first time birth and I wouldn't mind others trying to convince me of that. Due in April. Can't I just skip to May and have the bub in my arms? :-)

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Dillydollydaydream · 09/01/2012 07:33

My first birth was absolutely fine. Used TENS at home til I was really uncomfortable and finding the contractions hard to deal with. Was worried I wouldn't cope if they got more painful!
Arrived at hospital 8cm dilated though and started on gas and air, got urge to push and dc was born 2 1/2 hrs after arriving at hospital.
In hindsight could have even had a home birth.

RidingInTheMidnightBlue · 09/01/2012 07:43

Mine was good - admitted at 6am (tens machine and paracetamol beforehand), told I wasn't in enough pain for it to be labour (I bloody was!), examined (OW!), was fully dilated and dd born 2 hours later.

ginmakesitallok · 09/01/2012 07:46

Both my births have been pretty much "pieces of piss" as they say - like shelling peas. Stayed at home til I couldn't wait any longer and had DD1 within 4 hours and DD2 within 2. Just gas and air and manageable pain.

RidingInTheMidnightBlue · 09/01/2012 07:46

And yes to the suggestion of dealing with one contraction at a time. I chanted like a loon 'this is natural/this will end', which helped, as did mooing like a cow having a massage .

SmileItsSunny · 09/01/2012 08:02

Mine was just like dillydollydaydream's - but 1.5 hrs after arriving at hospital!

tryingtoleave · 09/01/2012 08:13

I had two good births but the second was more painful than the first - I screamed and I can't actually remember how it felt, while I can remember the first quite clearly. But that was because it was so fast (15 min after ariving at hospital), so I can't really complain about 15 min of pain.

Happenstance · 09/01/2012 08:28

I didn't have a great one, not stopped me doing it again though :), but i have friends who had great first labours, and according to my mum i was just like shelling a pea , Good luck, I'm due in April aswell

Emsgale · 09/01/2012 08:32

no they are not just go with it and it if its long and or slightly traumatic it will be forgotten the 2nd the baby is out!
mine wasnt fantastic but im doing it all again so cant of been that bad at all!!
x

Iheartpasties · 09/01/2012 08:37

The birth of my dd (my first) was amazing and truely the best thing that has ever happened to me :)

Don't convince yourself there will be pain, I did a 'calm birth' before mine and it gave me the ability to go into it knowing that fear leads to pain etc Anyway it was pain free and drug free birth, over in 1.5 hours.

I found the more I knew about the 'mechanics' of birth and how powerful our belief system attached to it all, is, I could leg go of any fear over rye birth.

I'm not a hippy I promise.

babycarmen · 09/01/2012 09:21

Mine was great :) Was induced at 38 weeks as there was problems with her growth, had my waters ruptured at 9.30am, contractions started strong straight away, walked (slowly!) down to delivery suite, had gas and air, was checked and was 8-9cm dilated so started pushing about ten mins later, few pushes and out she came at 11.53am! Quick, sore (obviously) but very good :) and she was a healthy 6lb 2oz. I had a little tear but didnt even notice at the time!

staylucky · 09/01/2012 10:33

Another positive, 1st labour 2 hours, no pain relief, was an amazing experience.

My mum told me to ignore anyone with a long winded horror birth story and that I was quite hard enough to cope with labour

I was quite young-22 and really had no idea what was going to happen but found my body just took over and got the job done.

astreetcarnamedknackered · 09/01/2012 10:36

Please please don't be scared. It can be a beautiful experience and very awe inspiring. Often we women can be our worst enemies - people who have had good birth experiences learn not to speak up for fear of sounding smug! So all you first timers to be get horror stories.

No pain relief or gas and air despite syn drip. So not even all inductions are bad!

astreetcarnamedknackered · 09/01/2012 10:37

That was my first btw. And all I could say after was I want more babies!

Abcinthia · 09/01/2012 10:41

My first labour was really positive.

I got to hospital at just before 8am and DD was born at 8:32am. The midwives I had was amazing. One of the midwives finished her shift at 8am but stayed 45minutes to help out and to give me some continual care. I had no painkillers because nothing would take effect in time (I had gas and air but it just made me feel sick so I stopped taking it).

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 09/01/2012 10:45

DS1's birth was fine.

I was induced at 42+4. Started getting tightenings within a couple of hours. Laboured in the bath (thinking they wer prostin pains not contractions!) until 9cms, then transferred to delivery suite where he was born very soon afterwards with just gas and air.

From induction at 9pm to being cuddled in my arms by 4.45am wasn't bad at all. Yes it does hurt - of course it does but it's short lived and soon forgotton about.

daenerysstormborn · 09/01/2012 10:49

i had a good first birth, total of 12 hours from waters going to baby, about 8 hours of labour, but i was 8cm when we finally went to the hospital. delivered just on g&a, no help or stitches needed. with ds, he was out in 3 pushes, got dressed and went home!

brettgirl2 · 09/01/2012 10:51

I had an 'average' length first labour (18 hours from first twinge) with baby back to back. It was painful and exhausting, I had gas and air, pethidine and an episiotomy. However all healed fine and it wasnt traumatic at all.

HardCheese · 09/01/2012 12:34

These stories are lovely! Thanks, everyone. Iwill doing this for the first time in March aged 39, and feel like a total (somewhat aged) amateur. I can cope with pain, but - like someone else up the thread - am hoping it will be pain I can cope with, and that I won't find myself sinking and panicking.

PS. I am appalled and saddened that women who have had happy/managable/peaceful/painful but not traumatic births feel they aren't allowed to talk about them for fear of being thought smug or of hurting the feelings of people who had a more difficult time. I swear that, whatever my birth is like - and I know there's only so much control I can have over that - I won't ever try to censor anyone else's experience.

Likesshinythings · 09/01/2012 12:54

Another positive story from me. Labour with DS was 6 hours start to finish - had a water birth, wish I massively recommend, and no other pain relief. DS weighed in at a not inconsiderable 9lb 3oz.
I do think it was largely down to the luck of the draw, but like iheartpasties, I think it really helped me to understand the mechanics.
Best of luck with it all, I'm sure you will be fine.

stripygiraffe · 09/01/2012 12:57

Well I had a lovely first birth and second birth too. I got quite frightened when I realised "this is it" but it turns out I could cope pretty well.

Rollersara · 09/01/2012 17:29

So nice to hear the positive stories here, I was starting to panic too! Now it feels like it might be hard, but not necessarily!

MoaningMinnieWhingesAgain · 09/01/2012 17:33

My cousin had her first baby at 40/41, natural birth with shortish labour and very straightforward. My sister had her first, pushed for 5 mins and baby was born, no stitches. Not everyone has an awful time, honestly we won't talk about mine

Whelk · 09/01/2012 17:35

First labour was great. Induced but just gas and air, no tears and felt great afterwards. All done in 8 hours.
Second was 30 hours! felt like id been run over by a truck

piprabbit · 09/01/2012 17:37

I'm very happy about my first birth. It wasn't at all horrific.
TBH if I were to list everything that happened and all the interventions I had, you might end up hiding behind the sofa, reading the thread from behind your hands. It would sound like a list of all the things you don't want to happen. But (and it is a very big but) it wasn't horrific. It was hard work, it hurt and I needed help but I coped with the tough bits and feel immensely proud of myself. Nothing happened that I regret and I feel it was all a hugely positive experience.

I have in the past been told I'm a glass half full person, so maybe I have just made up my mind that anything which lead to my beautiful DD arriving can't have been all that bad .

SausageSmuggler · 09/01/2012 17:46

My first birth was a really positive experience despite being induced.

Part of it may be down to not knowing what to expect first time round and panicing so it might feel worse IYSWIM?

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