Ah, the unwanted comments begin.

[FutureNannyOgg]

I'm 10 weeks now, and apparently it's noticeable.

Was in Tesco today and the checkout assistant asked me "how long do you have to go?" and then (DS was in the trolley) "I expect you want a girl this time around?"

Well firstly it's none of his business, and I'm also a bit mortified that I look pregnant enough that a stranger would presume, I was in an outdoor coat and everything.

I was a bit vague like I didn't understand the question (I was a bit thrown tbh) then said something about just wanting a healthy baby, but I was sorely tempted to pretend not to be pregnant at all.

I lost my last pregnancy, so I am a bit in denial as it is, I don't really want to talk about it to anyone, let alone random strangers. I also really wish people didn't assume it's ok to comment on a pregnancy uninvited.

I'm just a grumpy cow aren't I?

No your not grumpy it's normal!!!

Two guys I work with accused me of being PG last week. I had to deny it and try to not go red. I am PG but only 8 weeks (not showing) but given up smoking and drinking, have been suffering from sickness "bug" etc and consuming lots and lots of pickled eggs

People are just making friendly conversation , you do sound a bit grumpy tbh

No, you're not! It's understandable you'd rather not be "noticed" until 12 weeks, and the gender thing is irritating.

You're not being grumpy at all - I would have reacted the same way.

Especially given what you have mentioned about your previous experiences. It is odd that strangers feel able to comment on what is clearly quite a private thing.

You can make friendly conversation without being presumptuous and over familiar.

Why do I not get these comments. Neither last time, nor this this time round.
People are generally v friendly offering seat and bus drivers wait for me if they see me running towards them... hope it lasts.

you probably do bemy it's just that you don't notice them because they don't offend you

I am being a bit extra grumpy, because I am back at work tomorrow after 3 weeks out, and I know people will notice when I'm just not ready to tell them. Or they will be extra polite and it will be the elephant in the room - or I will be

The conversation started OK with him making nice comments about DS (although he did ask if he was "good" which is another irritation of mine - he is 16 months, he's not good or bad, he just is, but I can smile and let that wash, also with a touch of smug as another toddler was having a meltdown at the next till, and it's nice when it's not you for a change), it could have stayed there. I just don't really think it's OK to ask or assume about a stranger's pregnancy, if they want you to know they will mention it.

What really annoys me actually, is when random people start telling you the worst birth horror story they know, or asking you if you are scared about the birth, then they talk about tearing, and I don't want to talk about my fanjo at the checkout. It's just not cricket. I suppose this time I can regale the terrors of DS's birth though...

Oh, and I have also often been mistaken for being pregnant when I wasn't, which burns.

Strangers haven't made any comments, but saw some of DH's family over Christmas and got quite a few comments like, 'bigger this time than last time then?' and 'how much longer have you got??!' Yeah, thanks for that...

When I was ttc before DS I went to the small local pharmacy for a pregnancy test and the assistant asked me "would it be good news?" I mean WTAF?????? What a fucking inappropriate thing to ask in the middle of a shop! I'd love to know what he'd have done if I'd have burst out crying and said I'd been raped or something. As it was I was gobsmacked for a second and then mumbled something incoherent - I have no idea what I actually meant to say - before running out of the shop. I'd had a miscarriage the month before so I was very tense.

I have different comments, today I found out DC4 is a boy. DC1 is a girl, DC's 2 and 3 are both boys and everyone assumes that we wanted a girl "to even things up". W keep getting the never mind as long as he's healthy thats all that matters . What do you mean never bloody mind . I'm thrilled for a boy and so should everyone else be.

I am totally with you FNO, how dare people make intrusive and presumptuous comments about something so personal? The annoying thing is that at that moment I never manage to say the cutting, witty response that comes to me later, though someone gave me a great bit of advice on this forum a few weeks ago, if you are asked outright "are you pregnant?" just say "sorry? what?" when they repeat the question you say "yes, thats what i thought you said" and look pissed off. It means you dont have to lie and show them clearly that they have overstepped the line.
I'm going back to work for first time since finding out i was pregnant (have been having terrible morning sickness) so am slightly dreading the interrogation though I dont think I am showing yet as its my first and am only 9+4...
Thank god for mumsnet, am sure i'll be online ranting about colleagues tmrw!

Oh HOW RUDE was the assistant?! I cant stand unsolicited comments like that, and think its incredibly rude to speak to strangers like that.

I've been overweight for years, so have often been mistaken for being pregnant, and have had people comment to which I always replay "i'm just fat and you're just rude"

Although I'm now 12wks and I dont think I'm showing at all due to my extra layers ;-) Just because you;re pregant doesnt give strangers the right to butt in and comment, or worse still touch you, UGGG!

Hoping to get away with it for as long as possible!

blimey, i suppose i assume that when people comment on my pregnancy they do so because for a little second they are involving themselves in a happy event. i nod and smile and move on never really saw it as intrusive or rude. its about as intrusive as someone noticing on the bus and giving me their seat they dont have to but they are involving themselves in my life enough to notice which i think is nice.

I dont mind nice commenyts or people giving up a,seat but what does upset me are things like!....
when are you due? is it twins? no! really are you sure your massive! youll flood the place when your waters go!
at christmas ........ ooh a xmas baby how nice! no due 7th april! oh my god are you sure! I may be big but no way looked full term at bloody xmas!!!
im a size 16 so on the larger side but really annoys me people commenting on size there is no need it is upsetting! xx

I haven't had any bad comments so far, but had my first offer of a seat on the Tube today, at nearly 26 weeks (I don't go on the tube very often, though!) - made me think 'hurrah, I really must look pregnant now'.

I have had the comment that my bump shape looks like a girl, but then I already knew by that stage she was a DD so I wasn't too bothered either way about that...

I'm 22w with twins (i.e. fairly enormous) and I'm getting really fed up with the thing where people look at my stomach and then smile slightly to themselves as if pleased to have cleared up the "fat or pregnant?" question that was in their minds. I'm sure they mean no harm etc etc etc but you know, they see one heavily pregnant woman a day, I see that fecking smile about 400 times.

Not that fussed about chatting to strangers about it either... I do get the occasional "how far on are you?" on the bus (never ever on the train, I work in the city, noone speaks thankfully) but it's usually followed up by "my god, 20 weeks! Is it twins?" (Yes, sod off) or "is it your first?" (first ongoing pregnancy, but do you really want to hear about my history of recurrent miscarriage?). Generally the problem I have is that with those chats you're supposed to be happy all the time. Yeah, I'm pleased I'm pregnant, but I'm justifiably worried given my history, and it's January, and I'm working a 40h week and like everyone else I'd rather be in my bed.

hate it when stranges come up to me and ask what am I having. My answer now is.................'a baby.'

that was rude, people are just too loose with their opinions about pregnant women

Haha - horseynewmum - that's my stock response too! Also people seem to think they have a right to know the name...if I haven't told my mum, then I'm certainly not telling the checkout assistant at the supermarket!

I don't think you're being grumpy, there's a difference between nice comments and intrusive questions/ comments. I wouldn't say I'm fat but I put on weight around my tummy anyway, so even before I was pregnant I had people nodding at my stomach and saying 'Congratulations' because they knew I'd just got married and assumed the spare tyre was a baby. This was in the Italian countryside though. Must say it was a bit upsetting. If we'd not been 'trying' for a pregnancy anyway I'd probably have gone on a diet, but as it was I thought it wouldn't be healthy.

No you're not being grumpy, unsolicited comments are annoying.

It's always vague acquaintances that seem to come out with the clangers with me - I've had "wow, you've got fat! You must be pregnant" pre-12 weeks (I was so taken aback I accidentally admitted I was even though we'd told no one); and now I'm into the third tri I've had "gosh, you're huge - no way you're making it to your due date", erm, I measure perfectly for dates thanks - f* off! Unfortunately I can never actually tell them where to stick it as I still have to see them and it just doesn't seem worth the hassle.

The other one I hate (and this has happened several times, always with people I barely know):

Fuckwit: "What are you hoping for?"
Me: "I honestly don't mind, I'd be delighted either way"
Fuckwit: "Oh, you want a girl don't you? I can tell"
Me: "No, quite honestly, I really don't have any preference"
Fuckwit (to group) "She wants a girl, doesn't she?"

Grrrrrr!

People come out with such bizarre things.

Just today, one colleague (male) commented in a really perplexed manner on how much it had grown, suggested too much turkey over Christmas, and proceeded to mutter incoherently whilst staring wide eyed at my bump as if I'd grown an extra boob or something. Another friend/colleague said Oh! Well DONE! Aren't you clever!! In response to hearing baby is a girl (and currently have a boy). Um, not really, it just sort of happened (I'm excited, but wouldn't have minded another boy one little bit). Another male colleague at lunch reported on the most grotesque (and I presume exaggerated) C Section he saw on TV. I could go on.....

I got told yesterday that I'm definitely having a boy as I'm "fat all over". When I replied not really it's just my belly that had grown I was told "no your legs and arms are definitely fatter" thanks! Just what I wanted to hear...