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Original poster

My "birth plan" seems a bit crap.

97 replies

ChineapplePunk · 30/12/2011 22:03

Basically, my birth plan consists of seeing how far I can get with gas and air and then opting for an epidural if I don't think I can make it. Can't really think of anything else I would like to include in regards to pain relief. I really do not fancy taking pethidine or any other opiates. From what I have read, it doesn't sound particularly beneficial for either baby or mother. Has anyone anything positive to say about it? Or any advice in regards to maybe coming up with a more comprehensive birth plan if this sounds a bit too basic? I usually feel that simplicity is best, but hey, having a baby may not be that simple and I am fully prepared for the fact that anything could happen (although I hope I'm one of the lucky ones.) :)

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tigana · 30/12/2011 22:34

Being ready to go with the flow is good advice.
My 'plan' for dc2 is short, but full of "assuming this is ok medically" and "unless I change my mind"! I'd like to avoid continuous monitoring this time, but if the baby is at risk then monitor-a-go-go!

If you feel strongly about something put it on the plan.
If you have a preference ( eg 'natural' pain relief vs drugs, baby being put on you straight away vs wiped clean and wrapped in a towel) then put it down.
There is an NHS website that suggests things you could think about...hang on...

FunnysInTheGarden · 30/12/2011 22:34

no birth plan here with either, why try to plan something you have no clue about and no control over? Don't worry and best of luck!

exoticfruits · 30/12/2011 22:35

It is a very natural process-you don't need elaborate plans.

tigana · 30/12/2011 22:35

birthplan

don't recommend filling it in and printing it off...soooo long! But to give you ideas maybe?

Original poster
ChineapplePunk · 30/12/2011 22:36

To be honest, I was a bit sceptical about the whole birth plan thing. This is my first baby so obviously I can't really plan for it. I have no idea what to expect and I am mildly petrified about the whole thing. However, it has made me really look into all the options and arm myself with as much knowledge as I can.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 30/12/2011 22:37

Yes mother nature knows best, but many hospital protocols work against mother nature. In some instances this can be okay with the mother, in others it can disturb the birth to the extent of making it more painful and increasing the requirement for interventions.

Original poster
ChineapplePunk · 30/12/2011 22:37

Thanks tigana. That's helpful. :)

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Original poster
ChineapplePunk · 30/12/2011 22:38

Did your plan "go to plan", Starlight?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 30/12/2011 22:39

I think that hospitals are fine if you work with them in a friendly way. People who are defensive and want control of the slightest detail must be very trying.

scottishmummy · 30/12/2011 22:43

don't think hosps purposefully seek to block ole mother nature
but let's see some protocols are required to facilitate safe birth
it is not requirement to give birth in hosp, it is requirement to register a birth

puzzletree · 30/12/2011 22:44

Sounds like a good plan to me for a first birth. I didn't have a plan as such for DS1, but was keen to stick to TENS or gas and air if I could (I just don't like the idea of drugs that aren't easily reversible if I don't like them). Everything else I didn't have a firm opinion about, I felt being open minded was best as I had know idea how I'd feel at the time. It was a slog of a birth but I got there in the end and managed on the pain relief I wanted. Although it wasn't the perfect birth experience I wasn't disappointed because I'd gone in with no expectations.
With my second birth there were some things I wanted done differently so I did write a brief birth plan based on previous experience but still it wasn't very detailed. I think it's good to focus on the things that really are important to you and not worry too much about absolutely everything.
Good luck!

FunnysInTheGarden · 30/12/2011 22:44

thing is Starlight how on earth do you know with your first child? and yes Exotic have come across mothers to be who must be a midwives worst nightmare.

sayjay · 30/12/2011 22:44

My (home) birth plans were epic tomes! Grin
In both cases I couldn't speak by the time the midwives were ready for action (fast labours) but they did both read the plans and adhere to them, and I was glad I had them.
It gives them a good overview of your philosophy eg are you hands off, leave me alone - or give me all the drugs you have, or somewhere between?
I also had several specific requests eg discovering the sex myself, physiological 3rd stage, undisturbed until after first feed

But then, I'm a control freak!

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/12/2011 22:47

1st didn't, 2nd did.

I attribute all that went right second time to the birth plan being more detailed than the first and no longer trusting the midwives. I attribute my PTSD from my first to a 'go with the flow plan' in which the mw walked all over me, made decisions on my behalf and had an SHO assault me.

Bignorkz · 30/12/2011 22:48

Mine's just the basics of what I THINK I want and I've made sure DH knows my thoughts too, just in case i lose my power of speech! This is my first too so I think it's best to go in open-minded, listen to your body and go with the flow, plenty of folk have done it before without having every need documented. When I looked at the "official" plan on the NHS website it looked like an exam paper Grin Why is everything pages of paperwork these days??

kiki22 · 30/12/2011 22:50

My birth plan is to get the baby out by whatever means nessesary... starting with tens then gonna move up the pain relief ladder if i need to but DP has been told to try and sway me to avoid anything i can. My sister took everything gas and air, peth and epi and says she can remember thinking the baby looks like Kiki and nothing else before or after for a few hours would make me sad to not remember my first moments with bubs :(

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/12/2011 22:50

Funny's you're right. The difference between what you are led to believe is possible and what good practice is by the midwives before the day and what actually happens is a huge gap. So too is the language that makes you think there is no choice, coupled with the overuse of the word 'risk' when often 'chance' would suffice.

Mulledbee · 30/12/2011 22:55

Starlight :(

My birth plan includes details of my birth partner and all his contact phone numbers in case he's not with me when I go into the labour ward.

It has a headline: 'do whatever is necessary to get the baby out safely, just let me know the reasons without sugar coating them'.

And then a section on dietary requirements and allergies, pain relief, labour positions (ideally upright and mobile), my views on students observing/partaking, interventions (mainly says refer to headline, but also that my husband can do skin to skin if I can't because of CS or something) and that I'd like a natural third stage if possible. This will be my first baby so I can't tell what it will be like.

I have put that I'd like someone experienced to do any sewing if needed!

bamboozled · 30/12/2011 22:57

I've got to say that if someone told me that there was a 'chance' that continuing with my birthplan would lead to complications for my baby - there is pretty little difference to using the word 'risk' - they are the experts... Yes, we are the ones delivering the babies and our views/feelings are very very important but it is foolish to think that we can interpret all the signs, machines etc and understand all the implications....

sayjay · 30/12/2011 22:58

There's nothing wrong with stating your preferences in an ideal scenario. It doesn't mean you are blinkered and unaware that you may have to deviate from the birth you would have liked.
Sorry about your first experience starlight. Something I was acutely aware of - doctor does not always know best. They may know what they would want, it's not always the same.

bamboozled · 30/12/2011 22:58

also wanted to say I'm not trying to knock your experience Starlight and am really sorry that you have had a horrible time -

scottishmummy · 30/12/2011 22:59

good straight forward communication
being treated respectfully
having all avail info when you need it
...all pretty pivotal to good birth

plans are good,but remember not all plans go to plan

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/12/2011 23:00

There is a risk the baby will be cut during a c/s. I'd rather it be a 'chance'. I'd also want to know what 'chances' were associated with 'not' doing something.

stressheaderic · 30/12/2011 23:01

On mine, I just wrote:

I'm happy to do as you all tell me, you're the experts
Partner to tell me the sex and cut cord if he hasn't fainted by then
Nice cup of tea after please

Like to think it gave them a laugh. Should have written more, it took me 11 hours to go from 7cm to fully, all in the one room with 2 lovely midwives, they felt like friends by the end. Ah it was great, do it all again tomorrow.

bamboozled · 30/12/2011 23:01

but there is a huge amount of pressure on women to write these birth plans, involving medical practice/ decisions etc which we are just not qualified to make - and a lot of women end up being really disappointed by their birth experience because they have read something on the internet that they feel shoudl be applicable to them, but it is just not possible/safe on the day.
Birth plans should be used to focus ones mind on the experience rather than being prescriptive as giving birth is just not that.