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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

To find out the sex or not?

49 replies

mrsshears · 30/12/2011 17:44

We have said we would'nt all the way through but now the 20 week scan is coming up we are now getting itchy feet...
will you be finding out or not?

OP posts:

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ivykaty44 · 30/12/2011 17:46

there are few surprises left in life and this is one of the special ones

it is up to you though

Sparklingbrook · 30/12/2011 17:46

I found out at 20 weeks with both. I was happier knowing.

Yummymummyyobe1 · 30/12/2011 17:47

We really wanted to know so that I can buy a few colour appropriate clothes.

WinkyWinkola · 30/12/2011 17:48

I couldn't bear not knowing. I HAD to know so I could prepare names etc.

ShowOfHands · 30/12/2011 17:48

Only you know. Nobody can tell you. It's neither better nor worse to find out at 20 weeks, no bigger or smaller a surprise, nothing is ruined or gained from doing it either way. Only what makes you happy.

I really wanted to know with dd and they couldn't tell me. With ds I didn't want to know particularly but he made it very clear who he was by having a big and obvious wee as soon as they put the wand on my abdomen.

indicababy · 30/12/2011 17:51

I haven't wanted to know from the start, DH did want to know and then a friend said to him exactly what ivykaty44 just said and he changed his mind. Now 33wks and am still glad we don't know. Doesn't matter as will be dressed as a boy whatever as have had tons of handmedowns from DSis who has boys and friend who has boy! Nursery is painted green and yellow

Sparklingbrook · 30/12/2011 17:51

I had to have a late scan and I asked the sonographer to double check Somewhere in the loft there is a scan picture of just DS2's penis.

Original poster

mrsshears · 30/12/2011 18:05

We have said no all along and did'nt find out with the other two either,however we are now getting really intrigued

OP posts:

stillwaitingforbaby · 30/12/2011 18:23

we both wanted to know, not for practical reasons just that it was really nice to be a him (or her) instead of it, plus DP spotted the goods on the scan before the sonographer told us

kiki22 · 30/12/2011 18:27

i found out and has personally given me a stronger bond with him plus practically i's been easier

VeronicaSpeedwell · 30/12/2011 18:36

I thought I didn't want to know, because I always felt that it's appropriate to have a time of mystery for the few short months we're all in the womb, and I will want neutral nursery stuff either way. However, I'm really changing my mind as the scan approaches. DH is v. keen to know and we've both chosen to know anything else they can tell us so far, so I've started to feel it's odd for us to not know the sex if the sonographer does. If the baby is being coy though, we wouldn't go for a private scan just to find out the sex. Part of what's changed my view is that we can't agree on any boys' names, even though we both think it is a boy! We probably won't tell anyone else if we do find out; a few friends have managed to pull that off.

Sparklingbrook · 30/12/2011 18:38

We found out but didn't tell anyone.

AnotherBloominChristmastance · 30/12/2011 18:39

I found out with DD because i wanted to get a head start on names ect, as it was i chose a name when i saw her, couldn't agree till then so this time i haven't found out, quite looking forward to the surprise :)

BellaCB · 30/12/2011 19:19

We found out. I've quite enjoyed knowing - its our 1st DC and now I can't imagine constantly referring to her as 'it' . Helped loads on the names and the nursery planning and, as kiki says, I think it has made me feel closer to her as I can almost give her a little personality. But no one else I know has found out and they all think we're a little weird for finding out!

KikiRC · 30/12/2011 19:30

I was hoping to find out but 'it' was in an awkward position during the 21 week scan, and the sonographer said although she couldn't see any dangly bits, she wouldn't want to say for certain. I don't really mind not knowing, but I am still curious. Two other couples I know who are both pregnant now have had something similar- one couple has decided it's almost certainly a girl & are telling people that, the others had a private scan and confirmed it was a girl. I wonder- has anyone else been in this position & if so did you end up having girls?

minitoot · 30/12/2011 19:32

I will, just for practical reasons (so we can narrow down the options for a name). And so I can stop calling it 'it' :)

Surf25 · 30/12/2011 19:43

We found out with dd1 as DH wanted to know, I didn't really but did actually enjoy knowing, picking her name etc. With dd2 we asked and she was not in a good position so the midwife said she didn't know but couldn't see any boy bits so prob a girl...and she was! In saying that..for kikiRC...friends of ours have just had a boy and they were told the same thing!
There's no right or wrong - either you enjoy knowing when they're inside you or you enjoy the lovely surprise when they arrive in the outside world! In saying that I'd like to not know if we ever have a dc3..will have to work on DH for that though

FairstiveGreetings · 30/12/2011 19:44

I have two dcs. I found out with one and not the other. Of the two options I preferred knowing. It did give the baby a very real identity and we chose her name.

My DB & SIL found out but decided not to tell anyone until the baby was born. Unfortunately it slipped out (the sex, not the baby ) by mistake and word spread, so it was a shame that they didn't get to 'announce' the news themselves.

melliebobs · 30/12/2011 20:21

i always said i didn't really want to know, but DH did. He wore me down and at the 20 week scan i was all geared up for finding out. However baby had other ideas. Which i was fine with. But after a while i was sick of calling it 'it', buying gender neutral clothes was a bloody nightmare so we went for a 4D scan. Best early Christmas present ever. Found out we're having a girl (after everyone saying it was a buy) and now i just feel more prepared!

JambalayaCodfishPie · 30/12/2011 20:24

We have tried to find out, tried really really hard!!!!

Our baby is obviously very camera shy! Legs crossed, and feet over their head at all opportunities so far - they are determined to be a surprise!!!

Murtette · 30/12/2011 20:36

Pre-pregnancy I always thought it was weird when people found out but, as soon as I was pregnant, I was desperate to know and now find it odd when people don't find out. There are practical advantages as it narrows down the name options & you can buy some gender specific clothes (although we still took some neutral ones into hospital just in case). Moreover, I found it much easier to bond once I knew DD was indeed a DD.
I'm now 21 weeks pregnant with DC2 and had the scan last week and was told it was "more than likely" to be a boy. I'm very glad that I found out as, whilst I thought along it was a boy (the pregnancy has been very different and I've just referred to it as "little man" to myself practically since conception), I was a bit disappointed, not so much for myself but for the fact that DD won't have a sister (we don't intend to have more than two). It really took me a few days to come to terms with the fact its a boy and I'm glad I've had that chance whilst its still inside me rather than when I'm having to cope with recovering from labour, establishing breast feeding, sleep deprivation etc. It also meant I could pick up some boys clothes in the sale...

2wwmadness · 30/12/2011 20:43

We found out. And have told our direct family. But it's our little secret. Told everyone else we couldn't see. It's exciting. We have a strong bong with the baby knowing who it will be. We have a name and a few items of clothing but I still get to ring around and do the whole "it's a xxxxxx" thing

DialMforMummy · 30/12/2011 21:42

We found out too. You could ask the sonographer to write it down and put the bit of paper in a sealed envelope, so you can always find out if you change your mind.
I have to say that I don't see the point of not telling anyone else if you know the sex.

Kayzr · 30/12/2011 21:43

Go on!!

We're going to find out. I knew with the boys too. I couldn't wait that long to find out.

Nevercan · 30/12/2011 21:44

No! it's a fab surprise after the effort of giving birth

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