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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

To find out the sex or not?

49 replies

mrsshears · 30/12/2011 17:44

We have said we would'nt all the way through but now the 20 week scan is coming up we are now getting itchy feet...
will you be finding out or not?

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2wwmadness · 30/12/2011 21:56

Because the amount of people who go "oh you can't find out. It's such a great surprise" is annoying when I said I think I wanted to know. So rather than give people another reason to annoy me (along with the whole "aren't you massive, have you thought of xxxx as a name, are You breast feeding, oh no you can't xxx" Ect that comes over people when your pregnant) I just thought fuck it, I'll tell everyone when the baby's here and has a name and hopefully they are not rude enough to pass judgment on a newborn baby. (can you tell I'm sick of people! Ha!)

TheSecondComing · 30/12/2011 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stressheaderic · 30/12/2011 22:08

I never would. I am of the belief that it gives you something to push for, and those last few nights of pregnancy lying in bed, looking at the white Moses all set up, were just so exciting and intriguing.

I'm normally a very organised type who likes to know everything but having it as a surprise really was the best surprise of all. And telling people after she was born was wonderful.

Will not find out for the next one either. It's entirely personal choice.

Sannebanana · 30/12/2011 22:15

Personally I wanted to know- just makes it easier buying colour appropriate baby items, etc. And you only have to decide on one name :)

Xmasbaby11 · 30/12/2011 22:17

We didn't find out, but by the end we honestly couldn't remember why we resisted. You're really wondering about what your baby looks like and how he/she feels in your arms - I couldn't care less about the gender.

2wwmadness · 30/12/2011 22:19

Also, for us, I hate white/beige and still consider yellow/green not gender nutral. I've had the nusery/Moses basket Ect all soft furnished in a pattern that we chose based on our babies sex. I totally agree its personal preference. But (shallow) I wanted to know for buying purposes

puzzletree · 30/12/2011 22:30

We didn't find out with first two, and, especially with DS2 I loved the surprise after all the effort of labour. Had him in a birth pool and he was gently eased up onto my chest, spent a minute or so looking at his face not knowing if he was a boy or a girl, until I felt his very obvious boys bits with my hand :) surreal but amazing!
However this time we're not sure. I'm wavering because my sons are 5 and 5 and I think it might be easier for them to know whether they'll have a baby brother or sister. But the potential uncertainty would annoy me, I'd need to know for definite!

puzzletree · 30/12/2011 22:30

5 and 3

puzzletree · 30/12/2011 22:32

Oh and we have white newborn clothes, cream walls and bright animal print curtains and bedding (IKEA) which would work for both, but then I'm not a fan of pastels or pink/blue gender dressing.

MillyStar · 31/12/2011 00:52

I had to find out as I was DESPERATE for a girl and if I was having a boy I needed to get my head round it!!

I got my girl and I'm 25 weeks now ;)

I'd only find out if you've got a preference, if you really don't mind then have a lovely surprise x

lockets · 31/12/2011 01:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BellaCB · 31/12/2011 11:00

Mily - ooh, quite glad someone else admitted that! One of the main reasons we found out as because I had never in my life imagined that I would have a daughter, and so if it was a girl I wanted to get my head around it! And I didn't say because I thought people would jump on me... And as our gut feeling told us, it is a girl, and I have to say I'm really happy I've had that time to get excited about a daughter

Crosshair · 31/12/2011 11:15

I found knowing helps with clothes. Theres only so much beige and brown I can take.

I didn't have a preference, but did feel better knowing and getting used to the idea of an actual little person.

Casmama · 31/12/2011 11:25

I was really quite keen to have a girl though I didn't really admit it to anyone but I didnt find out before the birth. As it turned out I had a gorgeous ds and and thought ooh thats a surprise but was delighted. If I have another one I may well find out because although i would be equally delighted with a boy or a girl next time I think it would be easier for my ds to talk about his little brother or sister.

mildertduck · 31/12/2011 15:24

I wasn't bothered either way; Husband decided he only wanted to know if the sonographer had already seen the identifying parts. As it was, she hadn't looked anyway.

ViolaCrayola · 31/12/2011 16:50

I didn't find out with DS but am quite keen to this time... but DH doesn't want to know at all. Has anyone done the thing where one of you knows and the other doesn't? Would you recommend it? I'd imagine it is quite difficult!

cupcakelover1983 · 31/12/2011 19:48

I was advised to find out the sex due to medical reasons. Having a boy meant that extra precautions had to be taken during labour and delivery. I'm glad we found out but I would have liked the surprise too. The doctor told me they would look but not tell me if I preferred but I wouldn't be able to stand everyone else knowing and not myself!

justasmallglass · 31/12/2011 22:33

Found out with DS, couldn't wait tbh! I liked feeling prepared. Will we find out this time? The idea is for a surprise but I can't see us waiting.

cakeismysaviour · 31/12/2011 22:57

Finding out was never an option for us last time and won't be with this pregnancy either. We really wanted the surprise and the mystery, and finding out in order to pick out a few clothes etc wasn't really a good enough reason for us to spoil the surprise.

Each to their own though, so just do whatever you think is best. If you are not sure, its perhaps better to not know for now and perhaps you can find out a bit further down the line if you change your minds?

sillymillyb · 31/12/2011 23:15

My boy was very proud of his penis at the 20 week scan so whether I wanted to know or not there was no hiding it! (obviously growing an exhibitionist) Tbf, I wanted to know anyway, and I think its helped me bond with him better.... and figure out names, get a head start on clothes etc.

Hotcupofteaplease · 31/12/2011 23:26

DH and I decided to find out the sex; at 20 weeks the sonographer told us we were having a girl. We bought a lot of dresses etc and then at 38 weeks I delivered our beautiful baby boy...
I'm not sure I'd bother finding out again...!

iliketea · 31/12/2011 23:28

I found out at a scan I had at 32 weeks. Dh didn't want to know, and I agreed until there was threat of induction or planned c- section and I decided I wanted to kniw first and not the other 100 people in theatre. Dh left the scan room as he still didn't want to know (because I didn't want to tell anyone, and he didn't think he could keep it a secret). I didn't tell a soul, even during my induction when the midwives asked me if I knew what I was having, I told them only I knew, and no one else. Close family told me they didn't know because I used he and she randomly for dd. I think it's a very personal choice. If I have another, and have the choics, I'd probably find out at a late scan, but I know most women don't have that choice.

Alligatorpie · 01/01/2012 14:14

We didn't find out with our dd, but might with this one. Our dd is almost six and really wants a sister. It might be easier for her ( and all of us) if we knew in advance.

working9while5 · 02/01/2012 00:18

I don't feel even vaguely pregnant (17 weeks). Have had a fraught pregnancy with many complications and am struggling to get my head round the fact that I will be having a baby in less than six calendar months. For this reason, I will find out because I found it gave my baby an identity last time and I think I really need that.

As for life's surprises? I find life terribly surprising, to be honest with you, this statement always confuses me!

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