if i hear this one more time.....

[keely027]

'It'll be different when it's your own'...&...'it'll all be worth it', i swear I am going to either vomit on them or punch them :)

My colleague said as soon as you know the sex you must text me!

Errrr, why? What difference does it make to you?

My FIL keeps asking when we going to have the next one. Can I please have this one first (ony 18wks) and recover. didn't know I was suppose to pop them out left rightand centre

blimey i think i have started something here :)

Christ, some of these are depressingly familiar. My partner's mother greeted the news that we were having our first baby (at a fairly advanced age, so this is likely to be our only child) by saying, five or six times, 'An only is a lonely!' until I wanted to ram her teeth down her throat. Tempted to smile sweetly and say 'You mean, as distinct from having five you could barely feed?'

I greet comments on bump size (thanksfully rare, because I have a well-deserved reputation for not suffering fools gladly) with a Hard Stare and 'So, you're a midwife now, as well as all your other talents?'

And to repeated comments from my partner's sister about losses of dignity/sleep/'you'll learn' etc, I am only barely refraining from replying 'We clearly feel differently about practically everything - for instance, tax-dodging and benefit fraud - so I hardly feel we'll have similar responses to childbirth and parenting.' Grr.

And I entirely agree with whoever said that vomiting up a ginger biscuit is burny and gruesome. Does anyone who's ever had morning sickness ever eat Gingernuts for pleasure again?

I'm now getting the "I bet you're ready for her to come out now" stuff (currently 35wks).
I quite pointedly say "No, she almost came out at 31 weeks, I'd rather she stayed in 'til she was term and ready...". I'm not exactly enjoying being pg, but I'm not suffering unduely with pain or anything else, and a want what's best for my baby. WHY therefor would I want a prem???

The way that my mother in law makes a comment about the size of my bump every time I move. Ooooo you look bigger from that angle, but you're still tiny stfu.

If she starts it at Christmas I'm going to start making comments about the size of her arse. I have already told her to stop it twice, but she just isnt listening. Maybe I will have had the baby by then so wont have to go through it....

Ginger biscuits are the suggestion of those who had 'a bit of nausea' and can apparently overcome it by eating

You shouldn't be doing that
Your doing too much you need to rest
What are you calling him
12 months off work? Wow. Well yes seeing as last time I had ML it was 18 weeks @ £40 a week and I had to go back when she was 8 weeks old

''What are you going to do about your cat? you can't have a cat with a newborn you know, it'll get in the moses basket and suffocate the baby''

Lost count of the number of times I've heard this!

ooo your pregnant? no i stole a watermelon and smuggled it out of the shop under my coat
or one lady at school without fail every morning says your still pregnant then?
your huge sure its not twins? have you got the dates right?
and theres always someone to tell you about there perfect water birth where angels played music on harps and she left the delivery ward looking like posh in 6inch lobutins or the woman that had a birth from hell where the midwife was actullay the devil and she had a million stitches lol

39 + 6 today and I swear if I get one more text, email or phone call with "U ok?..." (ie are you in labour, will you reply, can I start to speculate now) or "any signs?" or "any pains?" I swear I will never speak to whichever friend or family member it is ever again!

"Any signs?" You mean apart from being due tomorrow?!

Honestly I wish they'd all f*ck off and let me get on with it, do they really think they're going to get a reply if I am in labour. I keep replying with NO you're the X person to ask today and we will tell you, we aren't planning on hiding his birth for weeks!

I swear I can't fart without someone telling me it's a sign! I do some housework "ooo you're nesting" Nope just the housework still needs doing.

snoozed re: cats. I tell them I'm making my LO sleep in the shed. The cats don't go in there, therefor she'll be safe...and then change the subject.
Or, if they have more than 1 child, I suggest that as stats show babies are more likely to be killed by a sibling [or a parents] than a cat, I suggest a "Logan's Run" style hatcherie...

I remember all these. Surely we should make a bingo card out of them? Then we could whip it out at these moments and mark it off.

And from a postnatal perspective " oh and the good thing about this dress is you can still wear it when the baby's born" ...baby was 8 weeks old in pram! Or my favourite "oooh you're pregnant again how lovely he'll have a little brother" ...no my ds is 6m.to be showing as much as. you think I am I'd have had to conceive in 1st month (dh would be so lucky!). Finished off a lovely evening out with random "good luck with the pregnancy". Who takes these risks by commenting to strangers? I need a placard that says "no it's just cakes!" :(

I think I'm really guilty of the pregnancy advise thing tbh but I don't sugar coat it as much as people would like ! I had a friend ask me loads of stuff and I told it in my opinion ! I'm 18 weeks pregnant with number 2 now and can't wait for people to start trying to tell me how it is haha !! Blunt northern people rule hahaha

Ach well...I'll bear in mind to never talk to another pregnant woman again, because obviously whatever you say, it causes offence.
Fuck that. From now on I won't give a shit about their pregnancy and will make a point of ignoring it, and them, for fear of saying the wrong thing.

I was never a mardy cow to people who expressed an interest in MY bumps and impending motherhood, and enjoyed the attention if I'm honest. People love to acknowledge other people's pregnancies. It's the most basic joy there is, having a baby.

But then I'm not an ungracious cow.

Meh! Let it all out on here ladies. Better this than punching some well-meaning person on the street in the face because they're the 10th person to ask you a crass or stupid question...

Oh, the nesting thing. Forgotten that! I'm only 12 weeks and already if I tidy my desk or sweep the lunch table of crumbs, then "Oh, she's nesting". No, I'm not. I'm not planning on having my baby at work, but I do like things tidy. Always have.

Which leads me to the comments about how my home will change and I can't have the same standards, etc etc. Yes, I get that it'll be different, but I hope to never become a slob!!

I haven't had too many of these (phew!) but I have had a few 'Shotgun wedding, then?' because we are getting married in Feb and baby due in Apr...we didn't plan it that way, we had decided to start trying for a baby and had just got engaged...we didn't expect it to work straight away!

I would much rather be able to have a dance and a drink at my wedding but the thought of delaying the wedding for a year or more was just too depressing so we thought we'd go ahead and do it beforehand. Hence all the 'shotgun' comments. We aren't teenagers!

Pictish that suits me just fine :-)