Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Will 2006 be the year for number 4?

36 replies

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 21:34

I know it's essentially my decision, but I am agonising over whether to have a 4th child.

DH is happy to have more, happy not to but would rather do it sooner than later. I am incredibly broody but there are other issues to consider. I'd really appreciate some opinions Mumsnetters

We have 2 DDs (almost 6 and 4) and a DS (2.5). DD2 is due to start school and DS nursery in August. So I'm thinking this might be a good time. We have a house and car big enough to cope with another and DH earns a good salary. We would struggle a little with the "extras" like holidays and Christmas, but day to day living would be OK. I only work part time and we could cope without the money for a while.

Cons are I am very overweight. I need to lose almost 4 stone. Also I'm worried about coping with the added "mayhem" another baby would bring. I am not the most organised, but manage to juggle all the balls most days! I also dread to think what pregnancy would be like running around after the 3 we already have...

I have other issues too. With DS I had desperately wanted a home birth but ended up going to hospital on doctors advice as he was quite big (10lbs). Birth was totally uncomplicated and I think I'd be more insistent next time round. I also stopped breastfeeding DS at 6 months due to horrendous thrush and I'd have liked to continue for much longer. I realise that having another might lay these regrets to rest but on the other hand I might end up disappointed again.

Thanks for sticking with this if you're still reading! Just looking for some impartial advice

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

JoolsToo · 31/12/2005 21:34

4 has other connotations on mn

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 21:35

Oh god, didn't realise!

Is it bad???

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 31/12/2005 21:36

not really - but in relation to your post it's not very nice - 4 = 'who cares?'

hope you make the right decision (I stuck at 3)

WideWebWitch · 31/12/2005 21:40

It sounds to me as if you should go for it. You both agree and you could lose some weight first if it's bothering you. My sister had a 10lber at home btw, and I had a 9lb 8oz at home. You can't guarantee it but you can try for a home birth this time. Sounds like you'll cope fine with the mayhem!

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 21:45

How many do you have WWW?

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 31/12/2005 21:45

2, a ds aged 8 and a dd who is 2.
I know for sure I don't want any more though!

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 21:48

That's just it... I have heard people saying the just know they've had enough children. I've always had this nagging at the back of my mind!

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 31/12/2005 21:48

if my Dh agreed I'd have No4 in a heart beat.

WideWebWitch · 31/12/2005 21:50

Cor would you LTH?

lilianna · 31/12/2005 21:52

dont mean to sound rude but try to lose weight first to decrease the amount of probs you could have in your pg. But if your ready for a baby thats great and i wish you all the luck. (im expecting no 4 in july)

LadyTophamHatt · 31/12/2005 21:55

yep, absolultey WWW.
I realised recently that whenever I've said i wasn't broody all I was doing was trying to convince myself that i wasn't.
It's always there.

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 21:58

Ditto, LTH!

No offence taken lilianna. That would be my plan for the first half of the year anyway!

OP posts:

lilianna · 31/12/2005 21:59

LTH why does your dh not agree? have you told him how you felt maybe you should use the excuse its your body and your body has needs.

WideWebWitch · 31/12/2005 22:00

gillian76, me too, come and join a weight loss thread if you want to! LTH, would dh not agree? It is good knowing for sure that I don't want any more, we feel complete (I know dh doesn't want any more either)

lilianna · 31/12/2005 22:03

G76 i hope you get the baby you want, wish you all the luck and good luck with the weight loss and keep reminding yourself why you are doing it. It will be worth it in the end.

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 22:06

Thanks lilianna. How old are your children?

OP posts:

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 31/12/2005 22:09

I have 4 and got them because I was determined right from starting my family to have 4 (though I didn't really encounter any problems on the way - if I had, I would obviously had stopped earlier.) My hardest barrier to overcome was dh's reluctance but he agreed in the end because I said it was something I would regret if I didn't do it.

It is hard work having four and you do miss out on some things (not just financial) but I don't regret it. I would have thought it would be a great incentive for you to lose weight before getting pregnant.

lilianna · 31/12/2005 22:10

ds1 is 3yrs dd is 2yrs and ds2 is 5months

LadyTophamHatt · 31/12/2005 22:11

well, for starters he only wanted 2 and we've got 3.
I never ever thought I'd be able to cahnge his mind for No3 but he did and I'm jst soo amazed and thankful that he did.
seroiusly I never thought he'd cahnge his mind. Ever.
But because he did, and he did it because a 5 minute converstion we had on boxing day 2002(after 15 months of me pleading, nagging, begging etc etc)I'd never try again. I feel like I owe him bigtime so I couldn't and wouldn't ask aagin.

Then of course...he pays for everything!

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 22:16

Wow, you are going to be busy then lilianna!

OP posts:

lilianna · 31/12/2005 22:17

very but wont change things. My kids are everything to me

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 22:19

I like having the 3 of ours close together. They are interested in the same things and play well together (usually!)

Number 4 would be a bigger gap though

OP posts:

lilianna · 31/12/2005 22:21

yes but every child is different and they will be at school so you will be able to spend and enjoy the baby

Original poster

Gillian76 · 31/12/2005 22:23

That is also at the back of my mind. Might be selfish, but I like the thought of enjoying the baby. When DS was born they were all 3 of them at home and it was hard work!

OP posts:

lilianna · 31/12/2005 22:24

babys are there to enjoy. its not selfish at all.
Its your pride and joy

Flip

1 2