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Original poster

Anyone buying their DH something to mark the birth of their baby?

55 replies

Snowgirl1 · 06/11/2011 21:37

I'd like to buy DH something, but I can't think what. And, yes, I know that carrying his baby for 9 months and, hopefully, having a healthy baby is the important bit, but I'd still like to give him something to mark the milestone of his first child - something that he can look at in years to come and remind of the day we had a baby together.

I gave him a watch when we got married; he's got a really nice pen already; and doesn't have a job which involves wearing smart shirts, so not much point in giving cufflinks. Any ideas?

OP posts:

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MrFawkesMan · 07/11/2011 10:49

I think the reason I like this idea so much is that it makes the Dad feel included. It is very easy for them to feel on the outside, this shows that you are thinking of them as 'half of the parent team' from the beginning.

edwinbear · 07/11/2011 16:37

I had diamond earings from DH when I had DS and have been asked what sort of eternity ring I would like 'theoretically' if I was to get one after this baby. Yes I have to do the child birth bit, so damn well deserve every carat, but actually, I think it's a lovely idea. How about a sterling silver photo frame to put a photo of the baby in? Or a first edition of a classic book? I bought DH a first edition, leather bound Sherlock Holmes for a wedding anniversary present once which went down well.

oltob · 08/11/2011 10:35

what a lovely idea. I had DD on our first wedding anniversary and was given a first edition of a book of poetry by the author of one of the poems read at our wedding as a first wedding anniversary (paper) present, opened early in the morning whilst in early labour and a beautiful diamond necklace for her arrival. He outdid himself really. Obviously I said my present was DD but wish I'd been a bit organised and thoughtful, we had just moved so I had plenty of excuses. Will definitely get something for DC2. I like the whisky idea, although think it might be port, or a tankard, especially if it turns out to be a boy at the second scan. or photo frame. It'd be nice to give him something on the day. Thanks for the thought.

pruney1977 · 08/11/2011 14:32

We're not even buying each other christmas presents this year, I really feel the baby is our present to each other as doctors told us it wouldn't happen naturally for us and, for me personally, materially there is just nothing that could really match that.
Plus, we've decided to hire a doula (and it's something he wants more than me so he has support dealing with all the doctors as I'm supposedly "high risk") so we agreed to forego christmas presents to put towards the cost of that. Am due 21st Dec

vmcd28 · 08/11/2011 16:02

"I think the reason I like this idea so much is that it makes the Dad feel included." What?!

"..I'm thinking it's something they can use to bond" Seriously?!

I find this thread baffling, seriously. I'm not taking the mickey - really I'm not, I'm just very very baffled by it all.
Poor daddy doesnt feel included. Awwwww.
And does your DH really need a toy to enable him to bond with the baby?

It does sound like a lot of posters here already have very childlike partners...

PS I'm all for a "sorry I've been a complete pain for a few days/weeks/months, and thanks for doing something completely wonderful for me when I felt down." But a reminder of the day the baby was born is entirely unnecessary. And, in fact, your mind will be so wrapped up in the new wee addition that you wont even remember you have a gift to present to your DP/DH...

RunnerHasbeen · 08/11/2011 16:09

I have got DH a copy of the book that was his favourite as a small child. I didn't feel he needed a gift but it seemed a nice idea.

I don't think this is as big an issue in most relationships as it has been blown up into here, most couples don't keep score of what they have done for the other and really just do nice things to make each other smile.

vmcd28 · 08/11/2011 16:12

runner, i agree - nice to make each other smile. I personally think the reasons given for buying gifts have been a bit baffling, that's all.

RockChick1984 · 08/11/2011 17:48

I got dh a football shirt with our ds's name printed on the back (believe me, it's the sort of thing he likes!) so he had a memento of the birth of his first child. Obviously he also has ds but I wanted him to have something to keep just for him. I don't see why people think it's so weird, it's like saying you don't need a wedding ring to remind yourself of the wedding as you have got a husband! No one needs a wedding ring but isn't it lovely to have???

MrFawkesMan · 08/11/2011 18:21

vmcd

Is it so hard to believe that encouragement, reassurance and even some generosity should go both ways in a relationship ?

Sometimes it feels like I have to argue that men are actually human people too

SoupDragon · 08/11/2011 19:12

You've gone too far with your last comment, MrF.

nancerama · 08/11/2011 19:26

I bought DH a new tshirt, pants and socks and hid them at the bottom of the hospital bag so that he could change into fresh clothes once baby arrived. He was grateful for them after my epic 30 hour labour and EMCS.

Gay40 · 08/11/2011 19:32

You can get cufflinks with your baby's tiny fingerprints embedded in. Not cheap but VERY personal and lovely.
I'm all for people being thoughful and loving to each other. Bring it on!

MrFawkesMan · 08/11/2011 19:39

Not sure how you see that Soup. I don't see how I said anything offensive.

plumtrees · 08/11/2011 19:46

I've had a gorgeous silver key fob made for my husband - look up Nicola Neve Jewellery on Facebook and you'll find all sorts of things, that don't cost a fortune that you could give to your husband. I've also had a copper cuff made for my sister. They've both arrived and look fab. Ignore the negative comments, I wanted to have something for my husband to show my appreciation for taking such good care of me when I've been puking, exhausted or generally unable to look after myself

SoupDragon · 08/11/2011 20:10

Oh FFS. Would you like a sense of humour as your baby gift, Mr F??

MrFawkesMan · 08/11/2011 20:25

I have been spending way too much time on the wrong threads

I promise to start smiling again

vmcd28 · 08/11/2011 20:43

MrF, um.......what?! So because it's my opinion that SOME people gave odd reasons for buying a gift for their DP, it therefore follows that I don't think men are human?
WEEEEEIRD assumption to make.
Esp as I also said I'm in favour of a nice gift for DHs - just not particularly as a "memento" of the birth.

MrFawkesMan · 08/11/2011 20:54

vmcd

It was the impression that you laugh at the idea of supporting a dad to feel included, or to bond with their child

One of my very good friends has an issue that his wife has always made him feel excluded from the child relationship and has never supported him in forming a bond, so this resonated with me

Maybe you didn't mean it that way, in which case, I take it back

oltob · 08/11/2011 20:57

Wow pruney, a doula that really is a gift. I will always remember the part when DH complained of a sore wrist whilst rubbing my lower back, which I think I was describing as feeling like it a chainsaw had been taken to it at the time. Not quite such a star then...
I think it's nice to show you're thinking of each other (or not in my case) and not necessarily all about the baby.

suedehead · 08/11/2011 20:57

yep, Gay40 - i agree - it's just a nice gesture. yes, you'll get a baby, but there's nothing wrong with buying your DP a little something! i bought something for my DH. we'd just finished doing up our house so i bought him a nice sketchy picture of it from notonthehighstreet.com (not as naff as it sounds!)

he was actually a bit taken aback though - as though he couldn't quite work out why i'd bought him something when i'd done all the hard work. think i was thinking along the lines of those people above who've mentioned not wanting DH to feel left out, when actually he didn't feel left out at all.

for christmas, i've just taken DS to a pottery painting place to make DH a footprint mug (after seeing how chuffed he was with his hideously tacky 'no.1 dad' mug for father's day!). the handprints were hopeless but the staff at the pottery painting place helped me make the footprints actually resemble DS's feet...!

good luck!

pinkhollie · 08/11/2011 21:56

My DH has an amazing and slightly bizarre talent for puppetry he can take any toy and make it "come alive" which used to have me in stitches when we were first dating. So I'm going to buy a really good quality animal glove puppet for him to use with our pfb once it's here. Not a memento exactly but just a fun present.

storminateacup10 · 08/11/2011 22:25

he should be getting YOU something perhaps, for all your labour :)
I had no time whatsoever after birth to even imagine going shopping for food, never mind gifts...

vmcd28 · 09/11/2011 06:47

MrF,
"It was the impression that you laugh at the idea of supporting a dad to feel included, or to bond with their child"
Nope, I absolutely did not laugh at that.

I thought this was a bit of a light-hearted thread, and people wouldnt be analysing everything, and
At the risk of repeating myself, I am ALL IN FAVOUR of a nice gift for DP/DH. I just dont get the "memento" idea - a memory of a baby being born is very, very different from the memory of, say, a wedding, which others are using as a comparison here. You have so many "firsts" to look forward to with the baby, so to me a memento is never going to be a massive deal regarding a new baby.
SOME PEOPLE have given odd reasons.

But "making" your DH "feel excluded" is horrendous - I agree! "Not wanting" your DH to feel left out is very different. But I was just saying that a DH with a petted lip cos their DW isnt 100% wrapped up in them any more sounds like toddler behaviour. :)

If your DH "needs" a special toy at the newborn stage to bond with his new child, that would worry me quite a lot.

Just my opinion, though! :)

DizzyKipper · 09/11/2011 07:22

Well I suppose it should be something that will last (so prob not any consumables like alcohol or chocolate etc.), and ideally should be something connected to being a father. Would a world's greatest dad mug be too cheesy?

oltob · 09/11/2011 09:04

no-one needs a present, and there's no such thing as normal. what resonates with one person can fall flat with another, more ideas is the key. I love the favourite children's book & might even try to think of one retrospectively for DD.

It's just nice to be nice , forgive me my hormonal haze.

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