My waters have broken too early, please help

[BadNails]

This probably isn?t the right place to post this, so I apologise, but I need to share this in the hope that someone can either help me or that this helps someone else.

I rarely post, am more of a serial lurker but haven?t name changed even though I could be identified in RL. I?m beyond caring about this now anyway.

On Friday, I had a PROM. I was 22 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I wasn?t near home and was with colleagues so ended up at the nearest hospital, lacking my notes and terrified. I was scanned and examined. Things were not good. The deepest pool they found was 1.8cm. My DD still had a strong heartbeat and my cervix was closed. No one gave me false hope, it was explained that the prognosis for her was poor.

With no contractions kicking in, I was able to go to the hospital I am booked into and my consultant took over. She only saw me on the Monday and everything had been absolutely fine. I remember that she had smiled at me and DP, saying she would not expect to see us again and wished us well for the remainder of our pregnancy.

We were told that the gestation we were at presented a difficulty in that if we had been at 17-19 weeks, they would be recommending a termination and yet if we were at 25-26 weeks, they would be fighting all the way. It was just bad luck apparently.

I had felt some tightenings and so believing that labour would start at any time, they placed us into a special room. I was so dazed that it took me until Monday to realise that this special room was where they were expecting our DD to be born and then die. I?m not sure how I didn?t see this when the sign on the door clearly stated that it was kindly donated by SANDS. We had been told that there was an 80% chance that labour would begin within 48 hours, so I would be monitored during that time for this or any signs of infection setting in.

Two and a half days we stayed in that room, situated at the edge of the delivery suite. The midwives were all truly wonderful. With no contractions, I started to regain some hope. I searched the internet trying to find out more information about loss of amniotic fluid and survival rates. I have been on the SANDS, ARC and Bliss websites. I have read about miracles and tragedies. Me and DP swing between hope and despair, but have remained strong.

But today, I think I can?t cope anymore. We have been back home since Monday evening, waiting for a further scan, to see if the fluid has replenished. I have felt DD kicking away, but usually in the area (she can?t really move now). I have prayed to a god I have neglected since my mother died seven years ago. I am drinking enough water to fill a swimming pool in the hope that this might help (I read it somewhere).

DD1 (4 yrs) lives with her dad and we have maintained the story that I am unwell at the moment which is why she couldn?t come at the weekend. Thankfully, she hasn?t asked any questions about the baby, I am only just keeping it together when I speak to her on the phone.

Apparently AFI should be 10cm or so and below 5cm is critical. So I knew that 1.8cm wasn?t good. Today, I was scanned again by the consultant. DD is well with a strong heartbeat and is cephalic and able to stretch her legs a little. There is no AFI. The consultant couldn?t even give us a deepest pool. She estimated 0.5cm. I think my heart broke when she said that.

A paediatric registrar had already explained the importance of amniotic fluid on lung and limb development. Every piece of information given to us was geared towards the worst case scenario. I don?t think I can even remember everything said to us, now I just keep thinking our DD is going to die.

We were given the option to terminate but I am 24 weeks on Saturday, that?s when it could all change. Steroids, surfactant? We won?t be terminating. At 24 weeks, it?s a 50/50 survival rate and half of the babies who survive will have a major disability. There is no way of knowing what effect her current situation is having on her and that makes me feel so terribly guilty.

I?m scared and angry and I don?t know what to do. Apparently, nothing I do will alter the situation. I am still leaking fluid and I feel despair every time it comes out. I?m sorry if this all sounds self indulgent, but I?m trying to make sense of what has happened.

Thank you if you?ve been able to read all of this.

I have never read any Jilly Cooper! Last book I read was Room. I do have a stack of books I bought in a Waterstones closing down sale but can't bring myself to concentrate on Sebastian Faulks at the moment

Haven't read the whole thread so this may have already been mentioned but I remember reading about a MNer called Southsearocks who was stuck in America when her waters broke. Really inspiring thread which is worth reading - can't find where it started though to post a link

ncjust thank you for the reminder. It's hard because you place so much faith in their knowledge and experience. I'm still praying each day which helps. I have noticed that DD responds very well to me laughing, so I have been seeking out the more amusing AIBU and Chat threads

Thank you eatyourveg the link is upthread. It was a good read and made me wish ever so slightly that I was in the States!

Hi badnails, i have been following you and willing you and your DD on! Another Prom mum here! Stay away from Good old Dr google if you can, some info is good, too much can be a nightmare. You have already gone against the norm by lasting more than 48 hours which i also did, so hang in there.

I'm so relieved you have had the steroids now at least they are planning for an early arrival rather than the 'already defeated attitude' from the staff.
Have you been shown around the NICU yet?? It made a huge difference to us just seeing where DS was going to be taken immediately after birth and it also got me in the mindset that whatever happened after delivery i could picture where he was instead of that awful empty arms feeling that lots of us prem baby Mums have. We were given a photo of him as soon as he was stabilised and it meant the world to me. Start asking what they will do so you and your DP are as prepared as you can be.
I keep checking in, to make sure you are ok
Goodluck

BadNails, I have been following your thread and I am so glad you are still here and still pregnant!

I had steroids at 28wks with dc2 due to being early labour (strong contractions) luckily all was fine and the little monkey had to be evicted at 40+10.
While I was in the hospital there were two ladies with their waters breaking early. Both had been up and down but things were looking good. Also when I was in the hospital having contractions with dc1(at 26wks, also turned out fine) there was a woman there who had been there since her waters went at 19 weeks who was about 26weeks by then.

Just wanted to say that yes every case is unique so googling is only going to show other peoples experiences, which is not always very relevant iyswim?

Sorry, I'm not very eloquent, just wanted to perhaps give you a bit of hope and be another hand to hold should you need it :)

I have never heard the term anhydramios and i've had pprom twice now. Certainly it has always been called Oligohydramios in my cases . There is never a complete lack of fluid as the baby keep making it. My Son 'never had any fluid' on the scans ( s he was breech and was weeing it straight out] but I still have pprom and oligohydramios all over my notes. I never had any fluid with my water either and when she was born LOADS came out so there must have been some in there somewhere.

Google wont do you any favours, really it wont :( Ban yourself from it and stick to Kanelan. I mean really make the decision that YOU WILL NOT GOOGLE and don't, because it will make you ill. Dr Google cannot change the outcome.

I considered a termination, I wont say I didn't. There was a time when the stories of doom just got to much and we had planned a funeral and I had been on the sands website. I think as one point I was completely resigned to the fact that we were not going to get a baby out of it.. the midwife when I had my steriods (you are right btw, they bloody hurt!) said "you know this baby probably won't survive, don't you" :( continuing with the pregnancy was really hard but I am glad I did. George cried when he was born and for a baby who'd lungs were supposed to be massively underdeveloped that is pretty bloody good going!

You are already beating the Odds.. 80% of ladies would have gone it to labour within a couple of days, there is no reason why you're luck can't continue!

Look at the good, not the bad, Every day you still pregnant your little girl is growing.

Hi Mishy We would like to go to the NICU, it's a little tricky at the moment as the nearest is in Chertsey and I don't feel up for venturing too far from home. It makes sense to get a feel for what to expect though. We're hoping to speak to a paediatrician again, the one we spoke to before was one of the more helpful people. It is good advice, so thanks.

Dedalus perfectly eloquent Google is NOT my friend.

Methe thank you for popping in again. I was on the Kanelan site at about 5am this morning. You are right, it does more than give me hope, it returns a sense of control, which is the most reassurance I have found in the last ten days.
It was being called Oligohydramnios at first and then got changed after the scan. The midwife had a student with her today and was briefing her, which is when I was reminded.
I cannot believe a midwife said that to you what a bitch.

Right, Google is banned. I just told DP what you were all advising me and he said that he could probably find that the tumble dryer he has just loaded the washing into could give him cancer if he looked hard enough

And thank you all for the positivity, you are all really picking me up. Just words on a screen? Much much more. You're all diamonds.

Hey badnails glad you have started the steroid injections, me and OH have been reading your posts every day, and he said I have to send you our good wishes again today so pleased that your little fighter is hanging on in there :)

Bad Nails,
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I am so pleased that your little one is still fighting. I do not have experience of PROM, but I do have experience of neonatal units. They are the most amazing places ( IME) and they really do everything they can for our little ones. My DS1 sadly didn't make it after a birth accident at term, but there were some very tiny babies in the same room who did. The little boy in the incubator next to our son was 1/10th of his weight (4.79kg, and 479g..) and I was told that he was fine in the end.
I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that things look better for her at your next scan.
Much Love,
xx

Hello again love, can I join the others and say stay off Google. Remember, the Internet is full of horror stories if you're willing to look for them. I did the same and it did me no favours at all. I was convinced that my DS would not survive and if he did would need to be on full ventilation and have brain bleeds and problems with his eyes and hearing, as it turned out he did survive and had none of the problems I mentioned. Looking back I wish I had saved myself the stress and tears at what was already a horrific time and tried to be positive. Easier said than done I know.

By the way I lost all of my fluid after the pprom and DS did just fine. He kept producing his own, but I lost it as quickly as he made it.

Glad you've had the second steroid injection. The premature babies in NICU whose mothers hadn't had the steroid injections did worse than those that did, so it's certainly something to be positive about.

Try and get some reading done (I read the whole of the Stephen Fry chronicles on the night I was admitted to hospital and it's not a lightweight book), it really helps keep your mind occupied when you can't stop your thoughts racing.

Sending a very un-mumsnetty hug xx

Just to add... I meant the babies who'd had the steroids needed less time on ventilation and CPAP. At the time my son was born another 28 weeker was admitted and was still on oxygen when we went home. Pleased to report that he is also home now and doing well despite being in a little longer than my son.

Ooh if baby likes you laughing then we recently watched a Dara O'Brian DVD, very funny and Simon Peggy films are usually a laugh!

And, yes, tumble dryers, carcinogenic in the extreme :o

Simon Pegg, damn you autocorrect!

24+2

Sorry you have 2 PITA's today but hopefully worth it.

YY to step away from google. I know it's the easiest and most tempting thing to do but it it converts your positiveness to negativeness it is not a useful search engine.

Thank you to you and your OH Hotpot

I am sorry to hear about your DS mrsrvc. It is reassuring to hear that neonatal wards are good. I have found most folks to be full of praise for them.

Hi again Snowboarder, yes there are two things contributing to low thoughts - Google and consultants (unfortunately, no real fault of their own). So since I can control my fingers, the ban is in place DP is aware!
And I do feel better for having the steroids, we were told it is estimated to improve lung development by a weeks gestation (who knows if that is true, but it sounded good) so that should place her firmly into 25 weeks. Don't suppose it will help her gain weight will it??

HeadsRolling Simon Peggy I quite like him. I used to rather enjoy Spaced before he went all Hollywood. DB provided some DVDs when I went into hospital so I have Blazing Saddles which I have not seen since I was far too young to see it! A little Mel Brooks inappropriateness never hurt anyone

I think I will select a book to read. The problem is my attention span is very short at the moment! I do delve into graphic novels occasionally so might just have to order a couple

Hi BOO the PITA x2 will hopefully be worth it!

Hey there BadNails, just checking in before I go to bed. No, unfortunately it won't increase her weight, only time can do that which is why each extra day is a blessing. The best thing you can do is to make sure you are getting lots of protein and good fats and rest - maybe go back onto a pregnancy supplement if you'd stopped taking one. Hopefully you'll be able to hold out another few weeks (I'm hoping you go 30+) and have a well grown baby. It can be done. Keep those legs crossed and think positive. We're all rooting for you!

Funny you should mention the pregnancy supplement, I went back onto one after being on the Kanelan site. Shame she won't get any heavier for the injection.

I would love to get to 30+, but as I described to one of my friends last night, I can barely see past the next two days, it's as if I cease to exist. The result of that is that it feels like the longest ten days of my life, I keep trying to hold on to the memory of being very excited about this pregnancy, but it's really odd, it is like my thoughts were wiped and now I'm in (quoting DP now) Groundhog Day!

Anyway, another day has passed us by 24+3

Just read your thread...

All the best to you x

24 + 3 way hey. By tomorrow you will be closer to 25 weeks than 24

Oh and for short attention spans I recommend crap TV. American sitcoms, miranda, old eppisodes of torchwood etc. Ie nothing you have to think about.

Yay to 24+3

Go babynails!

Nearly 24 and a half weeks, that's great :)

Hi BadNails Iv been reading your thread from the beginning, but didnt know what to say.

The very beginning of our pregnancy was a rollercoaster and I went on google a lot, most of the stories had bad outcomes. We were told that our embryos (had special IVF) wernt very strong but one made it against the odds. So please stay away, getting yourself worked up wont help you or your little one. keep laughing instead =)