CB Digital going in wrong direction

[Northey]

Has anyone experienced this and gone on to have a baby from the pregnancy? Two weeks ago it said "2-3 weeks", a week ago it said "3 weeks", today it says "2-3 weeks".

Please, please reassure me that all is not lost, as I sit in the waiting room for the first of two hcg blood tests. Or, alternatively, prepare me kindly for the worst :-(

I had problems with my BP dropping as well. I almost quite welcomed it, as it was so much more pleasurable to be spacey and light-headed and falling out of it than to be glumly aware of what was happening. Though obviously it is not good and needs to be dealt with.

Of course you can ask about my treatment. I was too far advanced for methotrexate, so had to have surgery. I had a laparoscopic salpingectomy, so they basically made three small keyhole incisions and cut out the whole of my right Fallopian tube along with the pregnancy within it. Pain management afterwards was not great - only paracetamol and ibuprofen. They inflate your abdomen with gas to lift your other organs out of harm's way, and some of that gets trapped afterwards which was actually the most immediately painful thing for me. Eventually a nurse gave me peppermint tea, which was surprisingly helpful. Though that meant I could then notice that the stitches were bloody sore! I was kept in overnight and discharged the next day. Although I was quite cool and practical when I was admitted, I was quite awesomely emotionally bonkers when I got home. And am still quite unstable. For various stupid work reasons I can't see my partner till the weekend, so am feeling quite lost and isolated currently.

Sorry - this has turned into a stream of woe, when I was meant to be telling you about my treatment. Was there anything in particular you wanted to know? Has anyone discussed treatment options with you? Are you any closer to a firm diagnosis? Do you have any feelings about how you might prefer to manage things if it is ectopic?

Good luck with tests/treatment.

Good god that sounds awful. You poor thing. When they told me and indicated it would be surgery I couldn't stop crying and they were moving me to another ward so I was just a crazy lady on a trolley being stared at by everyone in the hospital. Then they said they would like to manage it expectantly (not so sure about that) and now they think the worst has happened which is why I was so violently ill yesterday. They are keeping me in to check no more internal bleeding and do lots of bloods. My BP still is very low too. Because so early there is a ridiculous slim chance (ie miracle) that they have it wrong but I have had every etopic symptom except external bleeding so unlikely. Your experience sounds awful. It was what I was expecting so really now I feel relieved. Just hope they know what they are doing. I have lost lots of pregnancies but this etopic business sure does rank higher on the scale of shitness! You must feel awful not having your partner around. It isn't just losing a baby but the pure illness too. There were moments yesterday when I thought I may have died and I am usually rather stoic! I hope you haven't been back to work? You should be resting and being looked after.

You are also right about low BP. Although the BP thing got freakishly low (even the resus team freaked out) largely it keeps you a bit floaty and detached. This is a good thing as they aren't dishing out any good drugs and need to keep sane somehow x thanks for your messages, they have really helped.

The lack of good drugs is a bit crap really. I had ovarian drilling in the same hospital a couple of months ago, which seems to me a pretty similar procedure (keyhole entry and then some prodding and snipping) and I got a brilliant stash of stuff to take home. Luckily I have some left, so am just dosing myself with that.

I'm so sorry for you - your experience sounds so awful, particularly the ongoing uncertainty. At least I could wake up and know that the tube and the pregnancy was gone and not torture myself over other possibilities. Are you ok in hospital? Do you have things you need like phone charger and toothbrush and so on.

Oh, and I know the "crazy lady on a trolley" feeling...

Quick update as I am beyond shattered. Feeling brighter and internal bleeding calmed down or stopped so they have let me come home. Back in again tomorrow with an overnight bag to see what is happening with HCG levels and decide what next. Just too much drama for one midget. Thanks again For your messages. Kept me sane. Will let you know how I get on in the morning. Hope I won't be crazy lady on a trolley again x

Oh I'm glad you are going home. Have a good rest now and be gentle with yourself till tomorrow. xx

Waking up in my own bed was bizzare like it had all been a dream. Feeling a bit clamy and sore today. Have packed a hospital bag just in case they keep me in and so it begins again. How are you feeling Nothey? Is your partner back? Such an emotional rollercoaster you really do need support. Today I feel relieved to be alive rather than grieving the loss. Every days seems a different feeling. Take care of yourself and make sure you are getting plenty of rest. x

I'll see him at lunchtime and I really can't wait. I'm not feeling too bad - veering between giggling and sobbing and staring into space in 30 second bursts.

What has the hospital said this morning? Have you been examined yet? I'll be thinking of you.

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I had an ectopic & surgery to remove it 4 years ago and found the EPT website very helpful. Hope it can help you too in some way. Take it easy and be good to yourself. Glad your OH back with you today. X

They have been really good. Sent stuff to the lab marked as urgent and made me a nice cup of tea (I would prefer hard drugs). Waiting now. Hoping against hope it has all dissolved of it's own good. They do seem to think that is the most likely cause of me being so very poorly on Thursday. I am trusting they are right so will come crashing down if they are wrong. Soon you will get a big hug and a big hug is a good healer. I'll let you know how I get on. Take care of you x

Hey Iwilldothis. Sorry you too have had to go through such a horrible thing. I've used that site a fair bit over tha last couple of days and it has been brilliant.

Thanks, iwilldothis. I've been looking at that site a lot as well and am thinking of giving their helpline a ring to ask about ongoing nausea. I just feel on the verge of sickness ever since I've been home. Can you remember experiencing anything like that? I guess there are so many things it could be - remnants of hCG causing normal pregnancy nausea, a physical reaction to grief etc. Not necessarily a sign of post op infection and imminent death.

Midget, how will they know if it's all gone? Are they scanning you? Or just monitoring hCG? Or what?

Glad to hear you've been well dosed with good old NHS sweet tea. I've developed an absurd fondness for it in recent days. I think partly I don't want to go back to drinking coffee because it will remind me of drinking it beforehand, when I would have a cup in the morning and watch the birds and think baby thoughts. Ah well.

They are just monitoring HCG but I think they will scan again Monday when the proper high res imaging unit is open again on Monday. They expect me to go to a&e if I get bad again or just turn up at the gyne ward if things change. My levels have reduced but not as much as they would have liked so back again in 48 hours. They are being pretty good but I still feel slightly fearful that I could regress like I did last week. Hope you are now getting the TLC you need. I think it can be hard for partners and they don't really know what to do with themselves but a good hug can heal a 1000 wounds. I'd you still feel sick a lot I would go back to the surgeon and ask why. That can't tbe good and I would have thought levels shouldn't be so high as to make you feel like that. Take care x

How are you doing today? Did they keep you in again?

I'm still quite nauseous and twingey but massively happier for having my partner around.

Feeling a bit odd. Shoulder tip pain and bleeding so dr asked me to come back in. I do trust their care but emotionally I just want it over. Nervous but not in agony. So glad you have your partner back, Mine just wants me to stay in hospital, I think he is scared and finds having me at home too risky. I am calm most of the time by then give way to panic. Sometimes I feel so fine it's like I am putting it all on. Very peculiar experience. Back I epu this morning waiting for more tests and hopefully home again this afternoon.

Readmitted again. I think for the best even though right this second I feel fine. I think this is the right place for me. Consultant in tomorrow and also another test of HCG so should have clearer idea of next move. Very close to labour ward and just heard newborns first wail. Nearly lost it completely. X

Oh God, a newborn's wail would have sent me round the twist! Did they do any more tests today? Any news from them?

I had that feeling fine thing. I was gaily chatting away about house prices with the nurse and thinking that it really was a joke that they were admitting me so instantly when I felt so utterly normal.

I am officially demented. They scanned me this morning - no sign of anythig anywhere and they are baffled. HCG levels really low (but not low enough to be totally out of the woods yet) but no sign of internal bleeding now. They basically don't know and may never know what happended which for some reason has upset me more than anything. All the other Dr's said 'it is ectopic' and I was busy dealing with that. I feel like I have no idea what to expect or what I am dealing with except I nearly died and I have lost another pregnancy. Released me again and I get more results tonight. I think I will never know - so that way I can't try and control it or manage it but just roll over and let it happen again. Feel more upset than before. Just feel abandoned. She said I could try again soon - peculiar really that they think without knowing why I nearly died I would just give it another bash straight away (thing is I probably will). Confused.com. How are you feeling now you have had some loving?

Have you had the next set of results yet? I'm so so sorry about how inconclusive the rest of it has been. I would want to know as well, I'm certain. When you've finally finished with the hospital, could you book an appointment with your GP to talk through it all? Or there's probably a hospital patient liaison person who could help with that as well, with trying to find answers.

Am feeling much much happier for having seen my partner. Despite my vague expectation that we would be hugging and talking about things, we basically spent the weekend having sex. Not in a trying again sort of way, just that that was what I really really felt like doing. And the hospital said as soon as I felt ready...

You made me lol as they say on the internet. After one miscarriage I had I pretty much had sex continually for the next month. I was like a monster. Seemed the right thing to do. My DH did ask if it would help but the pain is currently getting in the way but I think often sex is the best medicine! We haven't really spoken much about it much either - he is just glad I am still alive (seeing me in resus must have been terrifying).I had a really bleak day yesterday. Feeling very sorry for myself and pretty much in a pit of despair. After 7 miscarriages you would think I have this nailed now but this experience has been far harder to cope with. The unknown got to me yesterday, and fear that becasue I don't quite fit their diagnostic criteria becasue of my low HCG levels I won't get the follow up I probably need. Today I am trying to find some positives again and a plan for the next few days that lets me be nice to myself and not put too much pressure on, I feel so delicate - anything could send me into tears or have me passing out again! I am already under a good consultant for my miscarriages so I am going to contact her clinic and see if they will see me again (I am supposed to be having a scan with her next week - I may just turn up then they have to deal with me). They really know their stuff and I think she may be able to offer the knowledge and understanding that was missing yesterday. Heck - I should be glad I still have my bits but I am just fearful that all this pregnancy has worn them out. It is bloody hard isn't it? If anybody had told me having babies was this hard I never would have believed them.