Erm, has anyone asked to be sewen up a little tighter second time round?

[banana87]

Sooooo embarrassing....

With DD I think I had a 2nd degree tear (episiotomy). I never went back to hospital to find out exactly how bad things were and I know the consultant lied to me when I asked how many stitches I had (he said 6, GP said at least 16 ).

Anyway, sex after giving birth has never felt the same and I feel as if I am "too big" down there. I want to ask my consultant to stitch me up properly this time but I don't know how to put it . Has anyone ever done this before?

It's also worth bearing in mind that the damage to the pelvic floor (which may lead to vaginal lack of muscle tone) is done by the pregnancy itself - the weight of the urerus and baby pressing down on a rather unsupported hammock of soft tissue. The birth process may cause other injuries (tears and so forth) but neither a trouble-free vaginal birth nor a CS will protect against stress to the pelvic floor.

But the pelvic floor can be repaired by excercises or perhaps more advanced intervention.

Lighten up EssW2, there's a good girl

Oh yes I've heard of that machine thing! Don't they sell it in Boots here?

gardenveggies I really think you should stop now. Your initial comment was not particularly helpful to the OP who is genuinely worried and EssW2 is giving out sound, sensible advice.

You can get over the counter ones. I've also come across something today that suggests (and this is worth checking) that we might be able to get free ones (to borrow? to own?) via our GPs and maternity exemption certificates. Not sure how true this is.

But their machines have got to be better at the hospital, right? I will, of course, be tempted to get my own, but might see what my GP has to say...

""My friend said, if stitching is needed, to ask the consultant for 'one for the husband'...if you get my meaning"

The whole idea of being 'stitched up tightly' is based on this sort of sexist, misogynist medically ignorant crap. There are so many jokes about it, and men chortling over stitching up women's vaginas 'nice and tight'. Not having a go at you, Gardenveggies, but sorry that you were told it and fell for it"

Absolutely! I doubt most of the consultants on the busy maternity wards think about if he/she has sewn up each woman a bit tighter for their husband! I would hope they are thinking primarily about the aftercare of the woman who has just given birth. I certainly wasn't thinking about that during or after my long labour!
It took me about 3 months to get back to normal, but at the beginning it felt huge so I guess it depends also how long after the birth you are.

Hilarious! No! You've heard from people who know what they're talking about, but here's some first hand experience: I had 2nd degree tear with DS plus labial grazing, for which care instructions weren't properly given and my inner labia fused together, graze to graze.

I got to see a gynea when DS was about 18 weeks old. Not only did I have the fusing together thing, I also had a web of scar tissue across the perineum end of my vag opening. Think the web of skin where your thumb joins your hand - like that. The dr said that I'd need theatre under a GA to fix it, but she couldn't book me in until November, by which time it would have been 9 mo. At which point I sobbed because I wanted to feel normal. So she fixed the labia under local and left the other bit. She recommend using a dildo and having sex to stretch it.

So, I had the equivalent of an extra stitch - a very tight hole, but normal vagina inside. I can tell you, sex was pretty uncomfortable for a long time. And even having had another baby and tearing again, it has remained 'tighter' - and it feels that way. If my DH puts too much pressure on it, it's pretty sore. So even if you were to get an extra stitch, it probably wouldn't be that great! Pilates is a good way to firm up your pelvic floor.

Ha! I'd forgotten about that escapade!

I have a phobia of being stitched.

Due in 12 weeks with dc2...had no stitches first time round and now I've just read that Viva can't "sew a button" the blood has drained from my face.

I think anyone would have a phobia of being stiched after phlossie's story :(
....and of course Viva....sounds like Dr Martin and his phobia of blood
Having said that my dad couldn't sew a button on either and worked as Dr in A and E for years so must be possible!
Good luck lady with the birth!!

I also love how fruit juice is made out to be the root of all evil on these threads. It's all DD drinks. I must be a HORRIBLE parent.

Oops, wrong thread!

sorry to crash this thread but I have a question (naive first time mum here) - can they not give you anesthetic before the stitches?? :S

Hiya. I had my son (9lbs 13oz) practically pulled out of me because his heart rate was going though the roof. As a consequence I tore on either side (2nd degree) and also had an episiotomy. The entrance has never been quite the same (bigger than before) but after some physio therapy and lots of pelvic floor exercises (making sure to completely let go at the end) sex is much more comfortable and things feel much tighter. The skin that is stitched and the muscle tears are only a tiny percentage. To get yourself feeling 'younger on the inside' you have to work the muscle like you would any other. It has taken 18 months to feel normal again! Give yourself some time and get crunching!!! You will get there in the end

Yes cherry they give you anaesthetic before the stiches - although with DS2 they were very busy and I had to request it first. I was quite firm about that!

cherry Yes they give a local if you start to feel it---don't worry!

I totally asked to be sewn up tighter! I was off slightly high as a bird on the 'high' of giving birth, and the jitters the epidural had given me, but everyone in the room laughed, including my husband, hey you gotta lighten the mood in such situations.

Anyway, the dr. said she'd do her best. I believe my exact words wEre, 'makes sure your stitching is neat and tight, i want everything restored to it's former glory, I'm rather fond of my downstairs area'.

Anywhoo, like everyone else says, it's true, stitching has nothing to do with it, imo, and pelvic for excersizeS are EVERYTHING!

JoseyM - what do you mean by 'make sure you completely let go at the end'. I do my excerizes everyday 1.5 years after last baby (3 years since first) but I've never had physio, can you explain?

Sorry if a bit graphic put the physio put in a finger and said to do a pelvic floor exercise. She said that I was pulling up fine but not completly letting go. She described it as a lift going up in stages and then coming back down to the basement if that makes sense. She said some of my discomfort with sex etc was that i was holding my pelvic floor all the time. I suppose a better way to explain is to make sure you completely relax at the end before you start your next exercise!

interesting, i know what you mean, I think I 'hold' mine alot of the time. Though I have no discomfort, I'm always in the business of looking to 'better' things, for my own fun/well-being :-)

Thanks.

Haha good for u! Don't think it is bad to be holding it because I guess u are supporting yourself in the same way u would hold your core tummy muscles but i think she was just showing me how to do the execrcise propely and to obviously relax it when it came to sex. Well here is to happy pelvic work outs! Corr our chaps are so lucky they don't even have to think about this stuff!

Haha good for u! Don't think it is bad to be holding it because I guess u are supporting yourself in the same way u would hold your core tummy muscles but i think she was just showing me how to do the execrcise propely and to obviously relax it when it came to sex. Well here is to happy pelvic work outs! Corr our chaps are so lucky they don't even have to think about this stuff!

Hang on! I didn't get an anaesthetic! I didn't feel it either - I was so stretched and numb, I had no feeling. You don't really feel the tear for that same reason. I was allowed to blast on the gas 'n' air which was niiiiiiiiice. DH had a go too.

You only get an anesthetic if you feel it. As my epidural didn't work I felt everything, including the great big snip of the episiotomy.

I had a local for the stitches....that didn't half smart! Talk about add insult to injury

Slightly disconcerting to look down through my open legs to see the consultant totally gowned up with what looked like a welding helmet on . I was half expecting to se some power tools on the tray...