The anti-breastapo

[MsChanandlerBong]

I am currently 34 weeks, and yesterday I had another evening of what I have (privately) termed the anti-breastapo and wanted to see if I am the only one experiencing this phenomenon.

As I understand it, the breastapo is a body of people who go around trying to force you to breastfeed and making you feel horribly guilty if you don't. I have not come across one person like that (either socially or medically).

However, I continually keep having people tell me "oh it is really hard to breastfeed, just give up if you can't do it, it is more important that you are happy, it isn't any better for the baby, you'll struggle so don't worry about failing at it" etc etc. These comments are not in response to me talking about breastfeeding, they are almost exclusively out of the blue.

This is my first baby, so god knows how I will get on with breastfeeding, but I don't want to be a self-fulfilling prophesy and start out with the intention of quitting.

So my current experience is that the breastapo is a myth. But I keep meeting lots of very defensive women who have chosen not to breastfeed (and I respect their decisions, I truely believe it is a personal choice based on individual experiences) and I am beginning to wonder if this is where it comes from.

Anyone else come across the anti-breastapo?

I EBF my first two and am about to do the same with my third. In Scotland the antenatal pack includes a DVD with lots of women breastfeeding. I agree that seeing other people doing it is the best way to learn as after a gap of 8 years I had lost a bit of confidence that I would still know what to do.

I am really lucky as both my mother and MIL breastfed and so that is my "family culture". Also I had DD1 in the US and the attitude of healthcare professionals was far more supportive than I experienced with DD2 in the UK. In the US my initial problems were met with nothing but helpful support and reassurance that DD and I would get it together with patience, whereas in the UK the MW and HV seemed obsessed with ticking the weight gain boxes and signing off everything as tickety boo as soon as possible and that always came down to expressing doubts about EBF and later on earlier than 6 month weaning. I will let you know if times have changed.

I tended not to discuss EBF versus FF with others for fear of being accused of being the judgey breastapo but of late have found people actively seeking my input because their confidence is so shaken by the comments of the anti breastapo. The other interesting thing is that in my experience it is more women than men who are anti - breastfeeding.