You're big, aren't you?

[chinateacup]

Aaaargh ffs I know this has been done to death but I am really SICK of people saying "you're big aren't you." A man - a stranger has just come to clean my oven. The conversation goes along the lines of pleasantries then launches straight in there with " when are you due?" "9 weeks i tell him." "oh, you're big, you look ready now". " oh, that's not really what I want to hear".
A lady in my office said the same to me yesterday. even my sister in law said "wow! it's been so long since we saw you. and we are so used to you being so tiny..."
I am so fed up it's making me a bit sad. I have already gained 3 stone so not been the most careful but my size 12 mat wear fits so I didn' t think I was doing too badly. I was MUCH bigger by now with DS1 and nobody said anything. Please cheer me up or tell me something clever to say that doesn't make me sound like I am totally defensive. I really do want to go and have a little cry

I met up with a friend a few weeks ago when I was 23 weeks - hadn't seen her since November (when she had her 2nd DS). She greeted me with "OMG well you're definitely having a girl aren't you? You've put weight on ALL OVER" and laughed a lot.
Thanks, yeah. Don't really know what to say to that. Now I feel like a giant monster.

hahah quilty secrets I was in the supermarket today and a woman who worked there asked me when I was due and I said xmas she said well its def a boy cause your big all over arnt you. lol then said hang on let me ask rita cause rita always guesses right then shouted across to rita "what do you think is it a boy or a girl rita I think boy cause shes big all over" lol Rita thought boy and got to go back to tell them if they are right lolxx

I do wonder if the general public know what a 9-month pregnant woman actually looks like? Most comments from strangers here seem to suggest people think anyone around 6 months could just 'pop' any second.

I am also starting to think that maybe us pregnant women have a duty to tell all these strangers that it is not OK to comment on strangers' bumps/appearances. Most of us on here have thought snarky things after the fact but admit to just saying 'Oh right' at the time.

My top comments from strangers are:
Being told my bump was small by a lady, then enormous ten mins later by a man.
A very senior female at work asked if I 'felt immense, because I looked immense' (at 7 months).
Another day same man told me that he had been chatting with his colleagues and they all agreed I 'only looked about 15' - I did not take this well, I am in my 30s and it just made them seem v. pervy but I didn't get the chance to respond.
At the park a lady crossed a field to ask me when my due date was, when I told here I was about 6 months, she said 'my sis is due tomorrow and she is nowhere as big as you'. I wanted to say 'good for your sister, it will just slip right out', but I don't think she would have got it.

I have had them all, usually from men, so I ask if they are fathers - implying that otherwise they just sound really odd telling a pregnant stranger what they think of their bump/appearance.

The other one is touching the bump, a stranger touching your bump will usually ask if it is weird when a stranger touches the bump. Yes so back off! I made it to 8 months this time before a stranger touched my bump (my own fault, I had commented that no-one had touched it only the day before, so I jinxed it). That person touching the bump occured in a small lift, which was very uncomfortable/claustrophobic.

I am due on Monday and won't miss this aspect of being pregnant, though I do love the actual experience.

I know what you mean onlyboys. I always wish I could say something snappy and witty. My problem is that if I so much as opened my mouth I would either shriek and shout a la harridan, or dissolve into tears a la chocolate teapot.

So I find the course of least resistance to be smiling tightly (so I can't open my mouth at all!)

And thankfully nobody (apart from friends) has touched the bump this time. I hate that. It's so personal. You wouldn't dream of touching someone else's belly normally would you, so why a pg person?

I am now, I admit quite freely, huge. Still not as big as with dc1 but bigger than with dcs 2 and 3. I am reduced to a couple of tops as everything else simply exposes the bump. And as I have to wear tubigrip for spd it's not a good sight! There'll be no Victoria Beckham photos in this house!

Still, being induced on Friday so not much longer now...

I think it's too subtle myself. Now if you could rig up some lights which go round the text and possibly highlight each word in turn - that might do it

At about 20 weeks one of my colleagues stopped me in the staff room with a shriek that got the attention of every teacher in there and shouted "Oh my God, look at you!" as though a) I'd been keeping it secret (not for 8 weeks) and b) I was about to go into labour there and then. I was mortified and could only think to say "Yep, still pregnant..." which wasn't quite as cutting as I would have liked!

I want one of those T-shirs littlelapin!!

Can't believe your Tesco story buttonmoon!!

A lady said to me in a bar recently "oh are you due soon" to which I replied, "um no, in November" - she looked at me with shock and pity in her eyes and said in the most patronising manner possible "oh well, it will be a strong healthy baby won't it"

To which I wanted to tell her to f*&% off but was too shocked.

I really wish I could point her in the direction of this

Brilliant pregnant lady T-shirts

Fetchez!

Vistaprint are absolutely genius. You can print your own :D I've got one that says "I LOVE MY BUMP! ...regardless of how many stretchmarks I get..."

OMG those t-shirts are fab. I actually came across the site the other day as I was in a rant about the 'ooh you're big, is it twins' sort of comments and knew that you can get t-shirts printed with your own slogans there but I didn't realise they had ready made ones.

Wish I was brave enough to wear one!

I've been diagnosed with polyhydramnios so the next person that comments might get me bursting into tears or ranting about how their comments might just be inappropriate

I just say I'm ALWAYS big in pregnancy. I was more upset by my girls friends who I met up with a few weeks ago. (Their youngest is 6 yrs old and they're all gymbunnies unlike me!) They kept going on about how slim I was. I don't want to look SLIM. I want to look BUMPY! I apreciate the application of normal female compliments ,but I'm currently not sucking my tum in so I'd prefer a few comments on the lack of flat stomach!!

Am loving this thread, am 16 weeks but have 'popped out' over the last 10 days or so..turning my normaly flabby size 16 tum into a slightly larger but more rounded flabby size 16 tum..

My best friend in the whole world made me chuckle last night when we did one of those old wives' tales quizzes for working out the sex of bump..when it came to the 'where are you gaining weight question', I was about to answer only on the front, but she very promptly said 'all over, definitely all over'..she's the only person who can get away with it..anyone else will get an item of fruit thrown at them!

I keep getting comments about how small I am by my work colleagues - mostly they are easy to ignore but one person always says it in a really condescending manner and makes me feel like I must be doing something wrong!
I want a t shirt which says 'I'm measuring exactly right for dates so you can shut up!'

Wow, someone in the office has just said to me (I'm 26 weeks), "I still don't think you look pregnant. You just look really fat. I think it is because your boobs are so big".

Well that has made my day. Luckily I'm feeling fairly chilled today and am going to LET THIS RUN OFF ME. Yes, I know I have put on quite a lot of weight - I was a size 8 to begin with but I have always had big boobs and am curvy.

TGI Friday.