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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

High risk screen positive of 1:25 for downs

116 replies

kh0609 · 05/07/2011 15:03

I found out last week after having the combined test done that i have a 1 in 25 chance of having a baby with downs. Its my 3rd child i'm 32 and my dating scan showed the fluid behind the babies neck was normal (1.7).

I have to wait until next week when im 16 weeks before i can have an anmio. I'm hating the wait and feeling worse each day and don't know how i will cope until i know the outcome. I would like to think i will continue with the pregnancy but i dont know how i'll feel if i get told my baby has downs.

Has anybody else been through this, im finding it very destressing and wish i'd never had the test done.

any advice would be gratefully appreciated xx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Crosshair · 07/07/2011 13:57

My understanding of downs is it can range from mild to severe with various health problems from person to person. The right choice for you might not be the right choice for someone else. Judging that person based on your own child and situation isnt fair.

Original poster

kh0609 · 07/07/2011 13:59

Being a mother means providing your children a happy, loved and enjoyable home, with parents who love them dearly. Wanting an amnio doesn't make me a bad parent, i have 2 beautiful children to prove it, i have a right as this baby's mother to be prepared for any eventuality to enable me to be the best mother possible. Babyonboard i think your narrow minded opinion on here are causing, not just myself, but other mothers alot of unwanted distress. If you had been in this situation, i would be interested to see what your opinion would be then. If your 20 week scan had showed up markers indicating downs i'm sure you would have been upset and shocked, its human nature.

How dare you say i would abandom my baby if my baby was born with downs, what type of person are you, not a very nice one. My children are my life and every decision i make, big or small, they are always considered.

Just one question, if it doesn't matter to you what your child is born with, why have scans which the intentions are to check for problems. Preaching one thing and doing another?

OP posts:

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 07/07/2011 14:00

Babyonboard do you really think that this is the way to get your point across, you think this is going to change people attitudes? It's not up to you what someone else does and the op has been quite clear about not aborting. What exactly is your problem?

Original poster

kh0609 · 07/07/2011 14:02

too much time on her hands i think and got nothing better to do....the way she carries on she should be polishing her halo!!!

OP posts:

babyonbord · 07/07/2011 14:05

My 20 week scan did show possible indicators of downs however i made a choice to have no further tests done i don't care if my baby is not perfect they are perfect to me I havent had any tests done that would risk my baby thats the point i'm making, an ultrasound is perfectly safe and it helps to know if there is anything seriously wrong in case actions need to be taken in order to save my life or my babies life as with placenta previa. And my comments were not all aimed at you as i'm aware you said you wouldn't abort your child my question would be to you could not work on the premise your child might have downs rather than having a test done that carries risk, a 1% chance is quite high or at least it is in my book.

babyonbord · 07/07/2011 14:07

(i'm well aware that the op has said she won't abort but other women have said they have and would, you seem to be missing my point either that or purposefully misunderstanding it)

Crosshair · 07/07/2011 14:18

I think its insulting to suggest people only abort for downs because the child 'isnt perfect' or 'doesnt fit into social norms'. Its not the sort of decision people make on a whim and I dont think either decision makes you a better or worse person.

Original poster

kh0609 · 07/07/2011 14:18

the hospital im having my done at has a less than 0.5% risk, you have no right to say mothers are 'bad mothers' or 'dont deserve their babies' just because they choose to have an amnio, it is a personal choice which each individual has a right to to have. You have a very black and white view on life, life isn't always easy.

With regard to your view on babies born then diagnosed with something wrong like autism, just let me say, i have a very good friend who's son has autism, she is a wonderful mother to him and gives him the best possible life, she has however decided not to have more children due to the risk of future children having it, does this in your view make her a bad mother because she has decided not to have a child that could be born with a disability.

i hope your children grow up to be more open minded than you and dont share your narrow minded view on life

OP posts:

KaraJS · 07/07/2011 14:19

How fucking dare you judge a women for making that decision, my sil had a child with learning and physical disabilities his life wasn't easy and sometimes he was in terrible pain, I can tell from listening to you for 2 mins you couldn't look after a child like this, you don't have the compassion!

babyonbord · 07/07/2011 14:24

My nephew has autism very severe autism i spend a lot of time looking after to him to give his parents a break and he may have learning difficulties but he is the most gorgeous little boy. No if she doesn't want a child with learning difficulties that is entirely the right approach to have and the point i have been trying to make geez

lookout · 07/07/2011 14:35

kh0609, I'm gonna ignore babyonboard's bizarre comments and concentrate on what you came on here for: support and other people's experiences. I had a 1:23 risk a couple of months ago and decided in the end to have CVS which came back all clear. The risks are really very low of having a miscarriage from amnio or CVS. It is a really worrying time, waiting for the test then for the results but definitely phone ARC www.arc-uk.org/ as much as you want/need to, they are incredibly supportive and will answer any questions and even just listen to your worries. We were just like you, pretty sure of not wanting a termination but needing the time to get our heads around what a life with DS could be like both for us, our existing child and new baby. It is far from being just about being 'abnormal', so totally understand your concerns about wanting to make the right decisions. As others have said, remember your risk is only a 4%. All the best and keep on posting, most of us are here to support you in the best way we can.

Crosshair · 07/07/2011 14:39

Do you just troll the pregnancy forum? Noticed you're on the 'distressed after first appt with consultant' being just as nice and open minded.

babyonbord · 07/07/2011 14:46

Maybe the difference is that if i was to give birth to a baby with downs or any health problems i am in the finacial position to give that child a good quality of life and i do understand that there are a lot of people who are not in such a fortunate position. We have already begun the process of hiring help should that be the case and getting estimates to alter our house should we need to which perhaps is the reason it not such a concern for me as it is for some people on this thread. I understand that it is a personal choice, i feel it is the wrong choice and something that i am dead set against which has been reflected in my own actions towards this pregnancy, however you are entitled to your choice. I am not ignorant or narrow minded just because i disagree with you and your actions, i'm aware there are people who disagree with me and mine. My point in the beginning was that it shouldn't matter to you whether the child had ds or not and it was a shame that it obviously does to the extent that it is ruining your enjoyment of this pregnancy, i hope the results show that your child is healthy and that you don't have the same experience that my mothers friend did by way of a miscarriage.

KaraJS · 07/07/2011 14:51

Yes crosshair I've seen that, telling people that they shouldn't get pregnant if your fat and likening it to being a drug addict

GwendolineMaryLacey · 07/07/2011 14:53

babyonbord do you judge women who have an abortion for other reasons to the same extent? Or is it just Downs testing that's given you a bee in your bonnet? Where do you draw the line?

harassedandherbug · 07/07/2011 14:54

kh0609 I wanted to send you my best wishes! It must be an absolutely awful time for you.

I'm 40 and preg with dc4, and dh and I decided not to have any tests done this time, or with dd who's just turned 5. Mainly because we wouldn't have an amnio or terminate.....so therefore we decided not. Here, they tell you anyway if the nuchal fold is over 3.6mm and obviously if there are any obvious probs at the 20 week scan.

However, I def don't agree with the rubbish that babyonbord is spouting. Whatever her reasons!! Abuse is helpful to nobody. MN is meant to be a place a for help and support, not for venting bile and abuse.

Crosshair · 07/07/2011 14:54

I wish you made that post instead of all the others. :(

babyonbord · 07/07/2011 14:55

No i just have strong veiw points that's all which i am entitled to it's called freedom of speech. Anyway i'm done the dealer just rang and the new car my dh has bought me as a present (for having his baby) is ready to be collected so at least i won't be stuck in the house all day now thankgod. I'm off to get my mazda.

babyonbord · 07/07/2011 14:56

(it's the reason behind the abortion not the abortion itself that bothers me)

harassedandherbug · 07/07/2011 14:57

I didn't realise women needing rewarding for having a baby ....... you do like to brag about money rather a lot. It's not an attractive trait.

girlfromdownsouth · 07/07/2011 15:01

kh0609 my risk came back 1:38 but the bloods (the one they say is most important came back 1:8 . I decided I couldn't wait for an amio so had CVS (scary) and that came back all clear!!!

There is a much greater chance of your baby being fine than there is of it having Downs. Try not to worry, talk with your DP about your feelings and your options so you are sure of what decision you are going to make when you do get the results.

They test the actual DNA of the baby so you will be assured of a 100% result.

Good Luck!

girlfromdownsouth · 07/07/2011 15:01

By the way I am 40 years old and this is my 3rd child.

Original poster

kh0609 · 07/07/2011 15:13

Lookout: its nice to hear from someone with a similar risk who had a positive outcome, from what you have wrote you clearly understand where i am coming from. I am at peace with myself for making the decision to have an amino, it's the best decision for my family

i'll keep you posted on how i get on

OP posts:

Original poster

kh0609 · 07/07/2011 15:24

ive also read some of 'babyonboards' other comments, from what i can gather she is close to having her second child and has packed her child off to his dads until the baby is born. Not wanting to judge but what type of mother does that make her, she has big opinions on others parenting skill, maybe she should look more closely at her own. lets hope her precious 'mazda' makes her happy!!

Lets hope we have heard the last from her

OP posts:

Original poster

kh0609 · 07/07/2011 15:31

girlfromdownsouth: i havn't asked what my risk is from my bloods alone, as my scan was ok i reckon my blood results were pretty bad to put me at 1:25. i was hoping that because my scan was ok it was something positive to focus on, from what you said about the bloods being the important one i'm feeling a bit uneasy again, i just wish i could jump forward a week and get the results as soon as possible, the wait is agony. i would have had a cvs but i was too far on, i found out when nothing could really be done for me, i would have prefered if they hadn't told me until i was 16 weeks and had the amnio done straight away, it would have been a little more tolearble not having the long wait.

OP posts:

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