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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Has Anyone Else Got Kids With A Big Age Difference?

32 replies

DaisyGoneCrazy · 19/05/2011 08:49

Im currently pregnant with my 3rd child my other two are 9 and 7 and i worry about how things will be and if they will get along.
Can Others maybe share there experience of this?

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southeastastra · 19/05/2011 08:54

i have eight year and my sister has more! it's great (imo) as you get to spent more time with the baby as the older child needs less - also they can babysit when they are older

BlingLoving · 19/05/2011 08:57

I honestly think worrying about age differencessos a waste of tome. Age is only one factor in how your dc interact with each other. My dsis is 6 years older than me but we are very close. My best friend's older sister us only 18 months older than her and they have always got on v badly.

My older siblings taught me lots of things- like how to read - and also sometimes upset me because they wouldn't let me play with them. But they drove me around when I was a teenager. Although they also teased me more mercilessly than anyone when I had a crush on someone...

My point is that there are pros and cons. I feel more for you who has to start with the baby phase again!! Good luck!

crazynanna · 19/05/2011 09:01

It's strange,but DCs' ages 27 and 25 fight like cat and dog,whereas they both adore DC3,aged 12,but maybe in a more maternal/paternal way.

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 19/05/2011 09:03

I think it does have benefits - because they are more independent you don't have to constantly distract them when you're feeding baby etc.

My DH's DCs have a 6 year gap (DS 19 and twin DDs 13) and that seemed to work well, he can look after them if their mum is out etc, and they don't get in each others pockets because they have different interests.

They were 15 and 9 when our DD was born, and 17 and 11 when DS was born. Obviously it's different as they don't live with us and their (half) siblings, but it's been great. They are old enough to not feel pushed out because they have a mature attitude, and they love helping out. Even my DSS, a fairly typical teenage boy, is absolutely amazing with them.

Of course you'll never regret the child you have so whatever happens you make it work.

jezebelle · 19/05/2011 09:31

My dd is 11, ds is 10 and i'm 35 weeks with ds 2 :)

chelstonmum · 19/05/2011 09:33

Our Ds will be 9 and DD almost 7 wehn new baby arrives.

We had been trying 'forever' for DC3 and didn't intend to have such a big gap. The kids are excitd and the only thing that worries me is that our lifestyle will have to change a little as the things we can now do with both DC's don't really lend themselves to a baby (Karting, Go Ape, Cinema etc) but we shall just have to adjust, one parent join in and the other hover with the camera and baby!

I think with our first DS our lives worked around him, im afraid this baby will have to fit in with us.......first family holiday is Paris inthe spring.

harassedinherpants · 19/05/2011 10:06

I've got huge age differences!!

Ds1 is 21 (nearly 22), ds2 is 20 & dd is 4 (nearly 5) - and am due on Boxing Day..... Plus have a nearly 2 yr old granddaughter .

It's worked well for us, the older two have now left home so it's really like being a small family again in many ways. The boys absolutely dote on dd, and she adores her brothers. Some people find it confusing, especially as the boys dad is my xh, and many people at school for instance have no idea that dd isn't an only child!

midori1999 · 19/05/2011 10:15

My three boys are 15, 10 and 7, so not especially close in age. I am expecting a baby in June/July and all three boys are very excited about the new arrival. It is DS1's Birthday on 17th June and he is hoping like mad that I either go into labour naturally then or can be induced on that day so hi sbaby sister shares his Birthday. He's even told all his friend's and their parents about how excited he is and how much he hopes they share a Birthday, although he knows there's only a small chance.

I have no doubts about them all getting on.

harassedinherpants · 19/05/2011 10:34

Midori my ds1 and dd share a birthday, it's great. We did his 18th and her 1st on the same day..... was a great party .

It wasn't planned that way, dd was 10 days late. Ds thought I'd forgotten his birthday as I hadn't phoned (he was on hols in France), but was chuffed to bits.

Fingers x'd for your ds, I think it's lovely he's so excited at the prospect.

ilovesprouts · 19/05/2011 10:36

ds1-21,dd1-19,ds2-4

Nell799 · 19/05/2011 16:57

My DH children live with us 50/50 and they will be 17 and 15 when my DC will be born . They seem rather excited , and are already giving me car ideas , as I need to change my car , and telling me about car seats !

BoffinMum · 19/05/2011 16:59

dc of 24, 13, 10 and 2
Knackered!
Kids all adore each other. No problems.

AuntieMonica · 19/05/2011 17:03

do i still have the largest age gap between siblings then? - DS1 was 22.10yrs when DD1 was born DS2 was 19.8yrs

BoffinMum · 19/05/2011 17:06

I think you may beat me by a few months in actual spread of children. You realise I have to go and have another one now in order to win in this category, don't you??

harassedinherpants · 19/05/2011 17:06

Just!!

Ds1 will be 22 in July and this one is due on Boxing Day..... unless I go VERY overdue .

AuntieMonica · 19/05/2011 17:18

Boffin don't even go there! Am horrendously broody, not helped by my DSis who has just had her 2nd....in 17mths!

talk about opposites eh?

Mizza76 · 19/05/2011 17:39

There is 11 years between my father and his brother (with no one in between) and they are very close.

bishboschone · 19/05/2011 17:50

I have dd (7) and am currently 29 weeks pg. I am getting rather fed up of people telling me the age gap is huge and why am I having another one now..bla bla bla. I had a hideous birth and quite frankly was too scared to do it before now.
I got pregnant very easily but sometimes nature doesn't allow a small age gap and I think its thoughtless to make comments on the gap when you don't know I haven't been trying for 7 years to concieve.

I don't think it will be a big deal, my dd is fabulously well adjusted for an only child and I think her new brother will only enhance her life. Hopefully they will like each other and we can all enjoy a whole new chapter in our lives.

evansmummy · 19/05/2011 18:57

DS1 will be 6y 10mo when ds2 is born in October so I'm in the same boat. I'm looking forward to having the time with the new one that most of my friends didn't have, juggling two under twos at the same time! Plus DS1 will find it that bit easier to understand and accept, there's less likely to be any sibling rivalry, he'll be able to help more, and will be more protective, probably. I think bishboschone is right, the age gap is what you make it, it'll be fine!

cameli · 19/05/2011 19:22

Just had my DD last week & my DS is 15 next month!

harassedinherpants · 19/05/2011 19:32

What I've found is that you can't please anyone, so just please yourself !

There's 21 months between my ds's and that apparently wasn't big enough, then several people assumed dd was an accident......

I also have a nearly 2yr old granddaughter, so it can be a bit confusing for the little ones. This one will be aunty/uncle as soon as it's born! Give people something to talk about .

ICantFindAFreeNickName · 19/05/2011 19:52

My DS was nearly 7 when DD was born. It was not planned that way, it just took over 5 years to get pregnant. I was concerned about the gap, but it's worked out really well and they are best friends most of the time.

I think the big gap takes away the competitive element between siblings, which can cause a lot of arguements.

It was great to be able to spend lots of time with DD while DS was at school, unlike friends who were trying to look after a baby & toddler at the same time.
Also DS started to get more independant around the same time that DD started doing clubs & after school activitie, so it meant I was not trying to act as a taxi service for both of them at the same time.

It's odd but I did notice that a lot of people assumed that the children had different fathers due to the big gap.

thegingerone · 19/05/2011 20:35

(ds1 is going to be 8 and ds2 will be nearly 5 when dc3 arrives. This is how I've always planned/wanted it-Not those specific ages ,but a decent gap!) this is because of the family I grew up in
My sister is 11 years younger than me and 8 yrs younger than my brother. She is closer to each of us than we are to one another (even though we are quite close)
Age matters not with regards to relationships. And I think it's an easier way of having three kids (Three under 9 is more appealling to me than 3 under 3!)

muddyangels123 · 19/05/2011 21:00

I have 5.5 years between DS1 & DS2, and there's 5 years between DS2 & DD.
So, 10.5 years between DS1 & DD.
DD is close to DS2 and treats Big Bro.(DS1) as her plaything. Gets him to be at her beck & call. I think he's glad he's at uni./lives down south.
DS1 & DS2 don't really have much in common TBH, never have. Although DS1 sorts out all DS2 computer problems etc.. and talk on the phone at least twice a week(DS1 Phones him).

I have always loved the age gap, not planned, just the way it happened.
As each child has been at full-time school before another one has come along.
So one-to-one with me everyday while other DC have been at school.

Although, i am now seeing some of my friends children going off to uni. & them having empty nests. As all their DC are close in age. ( 1-3 years max.)

Original poster

DaisyGoneCrazy · 20/05/2011 19:48

Thanks for all your comments it's making me feel tons better now, i guess im just nervous about starting again so to speak lol

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