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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Annoying things that people say to you in your first trimester!!

49 replies

pregnantmimi · 16/05/2011 03:53

Have noticed the same things keep being said to me and am getting really annoyed but starting to also find it amusing at the same time these are a few I have heard so far Im aware people are trying to be helpful but find it soooo annoying:
"Ginger tea is really good for sickness" so sick of hearing this one especially when its said by someone who has never experianced morning sickness!
"Your baby isnt going to get its full range of vitamins with you just eating chips" oh like I dont know that!! its all I can keep down!
"Why have you told anyone your pregnant your not 12 weeks yet"
"Dont find out what the sex is you dont get many surprises in life"
"I dont know why your complaining Your sickness is not as bad as my sister/friend/aunt" ok so Im not allowed to feel ill or talk about it cause its not the worse case in the world!

Can anyone add to this!!! sorry for being moody is it just me that gets annoyed?

OP posts:

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Original poster

pregnantmimi · 16/05/2011 03:56

oh another one "your going to feel much better if you get up and move about a bit"

OP posts:

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 16/05/2011 05:20

They all sound like comments made in reponse to something you've said, have you considered they are just trying to be helpful?

WanderingSheep · 16/05/2011 05:39

The Ginger tea one sounds like someone just trying to be helpful - just because they haven't experienced morning sickness doesn't mean that they have never been sick. Everyone has, I presume.

But, yeah, all of the other comments are annoying! However, it's going to get worse! Soon, you won't be able to get any kind of shopping done without the checkout lady commenting on how huge you are. Friends and strangers will want to touch you and tell you how massive/small/neat and tidy/all around your bump is. Did you not know that people have license to make any kinds of comments about your size now that you're pregnant, you're public property now, you know .

nannyl · 16/05/2011 09:12

LOL
everyone i knew gave me the helpful suggestions as to what worked for them when they had morning sickness... i did try everything I could, including everything anyone suggested in desperate hope it might work.... but it really made no difference to my HG!
(I appreciated that they were all trying to be kind and helpful, though even now at 23 weeks i couldnt stomach a ginger biscuit!)

The comments are now on my intentions for a home birth (although many people who i thought would tell me how "dangerous" they are havent yet!)

CBear6 · 16/05/2011 09:23

When I was pregnant with DS I craved whole milk during my first trimester, semi-skimmed tasted wrong, it had to be whole or nothing. FIL spotted me with a four pinter of it in my shopping basket and told me "eating for two is a myth you know! If you don't switch to skimmed you'll be huge by the end!"

I completely went off meat and fish, the tiniest taste of either would make me sick on an epic scale, I couldn't even smell them. I was constantly told that I had to force myself to eat them because I was depriving the baby of essential iron and vitamins. The MW though told me that's a load of rubbish and if all you can keep down is chips then it won't do any harm to just eat chips for a few weeks alongside a pregnancy vitamin and plenty of fluids.

My first was a mc so with DS I constantly had comments like "wait and see if you keep it first" or "you might decide to miscarry it yet", as if 'keeping it' vs 'losing it' was my choice. My third was a mmc so when I got pregnant with this one I had lots of comments about how I had to get past that point before I was safe and not to count my chickens because it could still die and not to get emotionally attached "remember, it's just a clump of cells right now, it's not actually alive or a real baby yet".

And my favourite, "if this one is a girl then you'll be able to stop". She is a girl and no, I'm not stopping until we have 3 or 4.

CBear6 · 16/05/2011 09:25

Oh, I got comments about finding out the sex too. Got told that we "spoiled" it by finding out with DS, made worse because your first should always be a surprise supposedly, and we shouldn't "ruin" this time by finding out. We did find out at the 20 week scan and it was still a surprise (I cried) - it's a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks.

nannyl · 16/05/2011 09:29

OMG Cbear
how awful

WiiUnfit · 16/05/2011 09:33

mimi, I have to agree with LoveBeing, most of the comments you have mentioned sound like people trying to be helpful or make conversation with you so give them a bit of a break. :)

What I found annoying in my first trimester was the inquisition every time we went out because I didn't have an alcoholic drink, I wouldn't have minded but I've never been a big drinker! I think a few people had their suspicions and even tried to get me to "admit" I was pregnant (especially when I was scoffing ginger biscuits like they were going out of fashion at work due to morning sickness - it really did help me!) We didn't tell anyone until week 13 - when we'd had the scan, knew our exact due date & knew things were okay!

Oh, also DP (who obviously knew!) would constantly ask me what I wanted to eat whilst suffering with morning sickness, I would reply "nothing at the moment" or "I'm not sure yet" (I found eating what I really wanted helped loads!) to which he would reply by starting to reel off a list of foods which almost made me chuck, everyfuckingtime. I know he was trying to help but it really wasn't helping! :)

harassedinherpants · 16/05/2011 09:35

That is awful CBear it always amazes me how pregnancy seems to give every other person free rein to say what they want.

From my mum, after having two very recent mc's: why is this preg affecting you so much? Why are you so tired? What, another scan?

nannyl my dd is nearly 5 now and I've been unable to touch ginger since being prg with her......gross stuff! I have 24/7 ms, but will not be having ginger!

d0gFace · 16/05/2011 11:20

My mum likes to tell me "Its not an illness" and "dont eat too much or you'll be huge."

Blu · 16/05/2011 11:22

And this is why I didn't tell anyone, even my Mum, until after the 12 week scan.

harassedinherpants · 16/05/2011 11:27

I've had two mc's this year so far Blu, I need my parents support tbh! I should point out that my mum isn't quite right after two giant brain aneurysm's last year....... although I kind of envy her, she says what we're all thinking sometimes !

GwendolineMaryLacey · 16/05/2011 11:30

I could cheerfully stab people that say, aw, are you feeling sick? It'll be gone by 12 weeks... 12 weeks?!! I'm 6 weeks, another 6 weeks of this and I'll hack my head off!

SindyTellsMe · 16/05/2011 11:35

It is annoying I know, but this is your introduction to being a parent. Bringing a new member of the human race into the world makes about 80% of the population feel justified in offering unwanted, repetitive advice. My eldest is nearly 10 and it's showing no sign of stopping.

Smile, thank, and change the subject is a good strategy for the next portion of your life! In a few years you might find yourself itching to tell a newly pregnant friend all about the things that helped you.

Good luck!

SindyTellsMe · 16/05/2011 11:38

CBear6 - your story is the exception here - if someone is being an ignorant twat, there is never an excuse for that. Hope you are coping okay. x

franke · 16/05/2011 11:42

"Was it planned?". Breathtakingly rude.

harassedinherpants · 16/05/2011 11:57

Oh I've had that one too franke. When I was prg with dd I had to take incredibly accident prone 14yr old ds2 to a&e for stitches (again!). The nurse looked at him, looked at my belly and went "Oooh I bet that was an accident!". I'm not exactly the shy and retiring type but I was soooo gob smacked that I could only reply "NO......very much planned thank you!".

CBear6 · 16/05/2011 12:15

Haha @ "was it planned?" :) I'm always tempted to reply "well no ... Those pill instructions are complicated you know!" (for the record, they were planned).

I also love when people try tell you what gender you want "oh no, you don't want a girl/boy, girls/boys are much more hardwork than a girl/boy!" (depending on which one you think you're having, I thought DS was a girl and got told I wanted a boy because girls are expensive and thought this one was a boy and got told I wanted a girl because boys are hardwork).

"If you think you're tired now, wait until the baby comes!" because as everyone knows, newborn babies never ever sleep and they run all around the house so you have to run after them

Original poster

pregnantmimi · 16/05/2011 12:55

As I put in my original post I know people are only trying to be helpful even kind when they say these comments to me, but its still annoying at times maybe its just my hormones or just hearing the same comments over and over lol. Thanks for sharing your stories! Another one "enjoy your freedom while you can" lol thats another one Im hearing alot of.xx

OP posts:

Original poster

pregnantmimi · 16/05/2011 13:03

GwendolineMaryLacey "are you feeling sick dont worry it will be gone at 12 weeks" oh thats ok then makes up for feeling so ill. Heard that one alot. Glad Im not the only one too that finds ginger didnt help! SindyTEllme totally agree with your comment I just smile and change the subject cause I know there are only being kind still annoying thou at times lolxx

OP posts:

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 16/05/2011 13:12

@ cbear

yes you should never find out the sex otherwise what motivation do you to push it out!?!

MsChanandlerBong · 16/05/2011 13:20

"You don't know what you have let yourself in for". Umm, yes I know I'm not a mother already, but I do know it is going to be a massive life change, that is why I have waited until my mid-30's and in a stable relationship before I started TTC!!

firsttimer84 · 16/05/2011 13:53

when my morning sickness didnt stop at 12 weeks exactly i was absolutely gutted! Spoke to my mum who just said, oh well you'll prob have it all the way through then like me! Erm! Not what i needed to hear thank you! I had to ring my fab mil to calm me down. I was so relieved when ms stopped at 16 weeks! Although not so happy when low bp took over at 19 weeks! (22 weeks now) Also the gosh your big/small for 22 weeks (on the same day). OOh my absolute fave comment is oh your tired now? Just wait til the baby comes! Yes i know that but im still exhausted thank you!

WaspsAnkles · 16/05/2011 15:20

Gwendoline I had the "dont worry it will be gone at 12 weeks" but I also had the "what? you're week 16 and you're still feeling sick??? It should have stopped at week 12. Have you asked your doctor about it?" as if I hadn't mentioned feeling sick for 3 months

Along the same lines I used to get the "Feeling sick is a good sign as it means that baby is doing well" comments. I did cling on to that fact but after a while it drove me up the wall.

Also love how all the "You need to eat something" comments while I was feeling sick have now turned to "You don't need to eat for two, you know!" tipps now that I am actually eating again. Guess you just can't win

nickelbabe · 16/05/2011 15:46

the funniest one I keep getting is people saying "so, is it true congratulations are in order?"
It gets me everytime, because I have to go "erm, what for? " before I click what they're going on about!

I really won't be offended if you just say "I heard you're pregnant, is that right?"

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