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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Annoying things that people say to you in your first trimester!!

49 replies

pregnantmimi · 16/05/2011 03:53

Have noticed the same things keep being said to me and am getting really annoyed but starting to also find it amusing at the same time these are a few I have heard so far Im aware people are trying to be helpful but find it soooo annoying:
"Ginger tea is really good for sickness" so sick of hearing this one especially when its said by someone who has never experianced morning sickness!
"Your baby isnt going to get its full range of vitamins with you just eating chips" oh like I dont know that!! its all I can keep down!
"Why have you told anyone your pregnant your not 12 weeks yet"
"Dont find out what the sex is you dont get many surprises in life"
"I dont know why your complaining Your sickness is not as bad as my sister/friend/aunt" ok so Im not allowed to feel ill or talk about it cause its not the worse case in the world!

Can anyone add to this!!! sorry for being moody is it just me that gets annoyed?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nickelbabe · 16/05/2011 15:51

I'm feeling sick this week - I'm now 12+1.
It had subsided last week.

One thing that's confusing the hell out of me, is why noone - not one single person has told me how it's bad timing as it's due on Advent Sunday (I have worked this out, because I run a bookshop and am in my church's choir - so busiest time of the year for both places!), and why, on top, noone has volunteered to help me in the shop at that time (i can skip a couple of church services, but I can't close the shop for a fortnight!)

msbuggywinkle · 16/05/2011 16:27

We started telling people over the weekend (am 9wks) and so far I've had 'was it a decision or is it just....' from my sister, who knows that we want 3 children and this is DC3.

MIL said 'I'm concerned because you only have three bedrooms', honestly at 5, 2 and newborn are they likely to be fighting over space?!?

WiiUnfit · 16/05/2011 17:19

I also got asked if our DC (due in June) was planned, it's so rude! I got so close to saying "I don't ask you about your sexual habits and/or family plans so why are you asking me about mine?" A colleague even tried to work out exactly when I'd conceived in the middle of the office, in front of all of my other colleagues...

The GP (a locum) said "Oh, is that good news?" Seemed a bit of a silly question when DP & I were smiling and asking what we need to do next re midwife appointments .etc

My morning sickness (no actual vomiting, just 24/7 nausea that made eating anything virtually impossible!) didn't stop until 13 weeks to the day (just in time for Christmas!) I was so glad! So yeah, I think the whole "it will stop at 12 weeks" thing is bull! It stops when it wants to, or doesn't as the case is sometimes!

DP's Sister's response was "Oh" which really wasn't very nice... but she is a self-centred idiot & couldn't contemplate someone (our LO) receiving more attention than her.

candr · 16/05/2011 19:09

For me it all the people ho say" you think cramp / morning sickness / heartburn is bad, just wait untill contractions / sweeps / labour etc. I am well aware I have pain on the horizon i don't need reminding and it doesn't solve the problem of cramp etc.
Was it planned.... Sooooo rude, would make me feel bad if it wasn't. I got advised to say "no but my boyfriend is happy however my husband is livid" and walk away leaving a stunned reaction. PS am married - no boyfriend.

WiiUnfit · 16/05/2011 19:32

yy candr! So many people have said that to me too! It's a bit like "Errr, yeah, I am aware of my impending pain but thanks for the reminder??"

Another one I thought of - people who spend your whole pregnancy telling you how you'll have no life after having DC :( For DP & I, this is the start of our family & the most exciting thing imaginable, not the end of our lives?!

flamegirl77 · 16/05/2011 19:38

OP, the comments you have quoted are rude and judgey and I don't see why you should give people 'a break', I will have some sharp retorts on the tip of my tongue if anyone has the temerity to say any of these to me.

PotteringAlong · 16/05/2011 19:49

I'm 13+5 and at a family gathering on Sunday I turned down pudding as I just didn't fancy it. FIL's response? "would you like a rusk instead"? Err, no, I'm 31 years old...

goodegg · 16/05/2011 19:55

Ohh I'm nodding in recognition of so many of these!

My own mother said 'was it planned' straightaway fgs!

I told a couple of girls I work closely with in the hope of sympathy, and it's very much 'not an illness' with them. I hope they have the worst ms known to woman if they get pg! Also the nausea is much worse than the occasional puking sesh.

I want sympathy goddammit!!

nannyl · 16/05/2011 20:04

oh yes... the "Its not an illness"

trust me i WAS ill.... have never in my life felt quite so ill, and even though "I was not ill" I still ended up in hospital. HG is crap and so many people who dont be sick just dont understand how debilitating it IS!!!

Have been told by people with just (and i use just in the loosest term, cause i realise for some MS is also hellish) a little morning sickness that its easier and they felt better to go to work..... well they may have..... Personally i could hardly stand up, were days when i couldnt get down stairs, and there is NO WAY i could have worked.... no way at all..... end of (hence the fact that Dr signed me off for 10 weeks..... cause i WAS to ill to work)..... rant over. LOL

goodegg · 16/05/2011 20:47

If I was having this many symptoms and wasn't pg, there's no way I'd be forcing myself out of bed and into work every day following being sick. But as it's pg, I need to suck it up.

I hate morning sickness, I had no idea it'd be this bad and it's taking all the excitement out of being pg atm

sunshinehugs · 16/05/2011 20:53

goodegg, exactly the same happened to me 'is it planned?' was the first thing MIL said, the second was 'are you getting married then?' she did recover herself but DP was furious for days! We haven't told many people yet but will be from tomorrow, I shall brace myself!

sunshinehugs · 16/05/2011 20:56

ooh and sorry to hear you are having such a bad time with morning sickness x

DaisyFields · 16/05/2011 21:04

Every time I spend time with my nieces and nephews somebody says "oooh are you getting some practise in?" no, I am chatting to a 3 year old, i don't think this will have any positive impact on my ability to cope with a newborn, you patronising dickhead.

Wow, that's not even bad, I am grumpier than I thought I was!

LDNmummy · 16/05/2011 21:09

The worst for me has been my friend who is a month ahead of me in pregnancy saying that she thinks it is mostly in my head (the tiredness and funny quirks) as her pregnancy has not been like that at all. Everyone is different for fecks sake!

Also I hate people scrutinizing everything I eat and have even been questioned on why I am not drinking GUINNESS every day if I have low Iron (bloody meddling brother in law who likes to quiz me on my daily meals and who has not even got a child of his own).

I got told to wear leggings instead of tights to keep the bump warm which was quite sweet really.

Original poster

pregnantmimi · 16/05/2011 22:06

waspsankles lol my mum said that to me about feeling sick is a good sign shows the hormones kicking in lol it did make e feel better at the time thou wonder if we will say the same things to people lol!!

OP posts:

SindyTellsMe · 16/05/2011 22:52

You see this is why I only ever say one of two things to pregnant women: you are looking really well, or you are doing really well. I never ever offer advice unless explicitly asked or on Mumsnet

goodegg · 17/05/2011 07:32

I'm feeling really isolated with my ms as it's mostly just invisible, overpowering nausea that gets no sympathy and like you LDNmummy I have a friend who just told me of her pg at 12 wks so I was looking forward to meeting up and comparing notes - apparently though she's glowing and has had no sickness at all! None! bitch

nickelbabe · 17/05/2011 12:08

goodegg - exactly!
I have goen to my sick bed and slept on much less nausea than this, and the tiredness!
And I've not even got it bad!

ToriaPumpkin · 17/05/2011 15:44

I had absolutely no MS, just the odd wave of nausea and had the opposite "Oh, well you know that's a bad sign." Feck off! I'm terrified enough as it is!

MIL has pulled some stunners. She asks me questions, such as "Have you felt the baby move yet?" and then when I answer "Yes, I think so." tells me I'm wrong "Well you can't have, that doesn't happen until X weeks." She's also asked me why I'm not taking iron tablets (because my iron levels are fine) why my hair is still falling out (Ummm...) and after telling me I can't eat Brie brought home a Brie and bacon quiche, microwaved it and then got upset when I spat the half cooked mouthful out onto the plate and put it back in the microwave as I was overeacting. You're not even supposed to eat partially reheated food when you're not pregnant you silly old bat!

Also loving "But you shouldn't be this tired/breathless/worried/sore." Well, I am. Live with it. My midwife says it's fine, I've been checked for everything and everything has come back normal. Leave me alone.

I realise some of these happened after the first trimester but the ranting made me feel better!

theonlyhb2 · 17/05/2011 17:54

if someone ever mentions "try ginger tea/biscuits/sweets" again, I think I may nut them.

WiiUnfit · 17/05/2011 20:22

goodegg - I know exactly how you feel on the nausea, mine was 24/7 & I often ended up in tears to DP telling him "I'd feel better if I could just be sick & get it over with!" I too didn't have much sympathy from anyone because I wasn't actually being sick. :(

theonlyhb2, ginger biscuits did help me with MS... please don't nut me!

fallingandlaughing · 17/05/2011 20:42

"Friend": "well don't tell too many people, there's a good chance you'll miscarry"
Me: "of well, the early scan was very positive"
"Friend" "that doesn't mean much"

other gems include:
"Was it planned?" (loads of people)
"Is this good news?" (colleague
"You shouldn't be eating that!" (new boss as I tucked into a small cake!)

sunshinehugs · 18/05/2011 07:39

fallingandlaughing....just...astounded...

Original poster

pregnantmimi · 18/05/2011 10:18

I had the have you tryed ginger tea again yesterday lol

OP posts:

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