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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How many of you did not find out the sex of the baby (before birth, obviously)?

51 replies

FrettyBetty · 28/04/2011 20:09

DH would like to know. His explanation is quite sweet, though: he said he was always the kid who opened Christmas presents early . I on the other hand, am not too opposed to knowing, but I find it nice to think of a baby as a baby. After all it is a baby - why rush gendering him / her? I am also annoyed that EVERYONE asks this as a first question (not close friends, funnily), and I am not sure if it will be easier to be able to tell them, or I will find it too private, and like I am giving a little bit of our family bliss away IYSWIM.

So just wondering, does anyone nowadays keep the sex of the baby a secret?

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IHeartKingThistle · 28/04/2011 20:53

We didn't find out either time and I'm so glad we didn't. It was so, so lovely finding out.

We had DD first and when I was pregnant with DS I was convinced it was another girl as everyone has girls in my family. I think I would have been really thrown if I'd found out at 20 weeks that DS was a boy and I would have spent time worrying about how it was going to be, and overthinking it unnecessarily. As it was, I was given a beautiful baby boy and I was smitten. Honestly, it was awesome.

For the record, I didn't care what I had either way but I like surprises - I was the kid who never, ever went snooping for Christmas presents!

WidowWadman · 28/04/2011 21:07

We didn't find out with our daughter, nor in this pregnancy (despite having so many scans that I started getting bored of them...). I don;t think there's a point in unwrapping a christmas present early.

Original poster

FrettyBetty · 28/04/2011 21:16

So many replies! Paschaelina you made me think that we should find out as DH does very much see himself as a father of a girl. And Figgy is right, it is always a surprise!

I myself, I do not know how to describe it. Maybe it brings it one step closer - the reality of it, and it scares me? Just a new thought. It may be better for me to find out! Or I really do not want to deal with all the gender stuff, as Dueling says.

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RufousBartleby · 28/04/2011 21:18

We found out and were in the minority amongst our friends who mostly seem to have waited until the birth, but the amount who have said 'We're not finding out, because it doesn't matter to us whether its a boy or a girl' - has really bugged me! Er, it doesn't matter to us either...but the information is there so we'll take it thanks.

Would find out again too, it was no less special for knowing in advance, and frankly after the tramua of labour I think the 'surprise' would have been wasted on me.

Original poster

FrettyBetty · 28/04/2011 21:19

Yeah, DH says he is not sure he could take too many surprises at once!

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JemimaMop · 28/04/2011 21:25

We didn't find out with any of our three.

We also didn't decide on a name until after they were born, although we had a shortlist we wanted to see what they looked like they might be called. DD ended up the name that we had decided as a favourite, but DS1 ended up as one that we hadn't even really thought about until we saw him.

HipHopOpotomus · 28/04/2011 21:42

I didn't find out with DD or with this pg (due today). I never want to know what gifts are either.

I think it's a bit of a marmite issue - people tend to feel strongly one way or the other. I have no desire to deck a newborn out in pinknor blue and just enjoy the 'baby' inside me. There are few genuine surprises in life these days and either way I will be delighted.

lunafire · 28/04/2011 21:45

We didn't want to know with DS and this pregnancy. Would be hard to find out this time anyway as we've declined all routine scans and anomaly tests LOL

CountessOldSilverDeRothschild · 28/04/2011 21:52

Didn't find out what DS was (although DP reckons he saw a shadow and always assumed he would be a boy). As he was due after Christmas, when asked THAT question, I always answered: a puppy, always wanted a puppy for Christmas!! And that is what we got - right on Christmas Day

changer22 · 28/04/2011 21:53

I didn't ask at any of the 4 DC scans. I always marched in saying 'I don't want to know, thank you'! I didn't want to ascribe a personality or name to the baby before I met him/her.

We realised DS1 was a DS from the enlarged photocopy of his scan (!) a week before he was born but we kept it quiet and didn't have anyone to confirm it until we met him.

With DS2 I thought I saw something at the scan but DH was dealing with a fidgety toddler and missed it and I didn't ask the scanner to confirm as I'd already said I didn't want to know.

I (rather naively perhaps) thought it might be the extra incentive I needed to get through labour!

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls · 28/04/2011 21:56

I didn't find out and always wanted to know at 38 weeks like before xmas. Was fun and is fine either way - after all its the biggest suprise you are ever going to have whether after labour or at the 20 weeks scan!

LadyWithNoManors · 28/04/2011 21:58

i have 3 DC's and i didn't find out with any of them. It would have completely ruined the whole experience for me.

Hulababy · 28/04/2011 22:01

I didn't find out when I had DD 9 years ago. In our authority back then it was policy to not offer this as a service, so it wasn't an option anyway. Wouldn't have wanted to.

mummyosaurus · 29/04/2011 07:35

I didn't find out either time. Found the day more exciting and, as others have said, more incentive when in labour.

Personally I like it when friends give you a surprise too, rushing to the shops to get pressies is fab.

IMO the exception is if you have a preference, for example friend of mine tried for a boy, after two girls, on baby no 3, got a girl, and I don't think they bonded well, she should have found out and prepared herself for her baby girl.

Original poster

FrettyBetty · 29/04/2011 09:38

Yes, mummyosaurus, while I am veering towards not finding out, I think it may help DH bond.

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lockets · 29/04/2011 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumpsadaisie · 29/04/2011 12:02

We found out and named DD shortly after the 20 week scan. It just felt right that way to me. When she was being born we were saying "come on little X, time to come out now", it felt right as to me she was already a personality long before birth!

LittleMilla · 29/04/2011 18:42

Overdue with my first and don't know. I think it's a boy and must admit that I'll be really shocked if it isn't. Only time will tell.

Think it's fun not knowing and it's always a good conversation starter with old ladies etc as they give their prediction...!

SauvignonBlanche · 29/04/2011 18:45

I didn't find out for the first amd did with the second.
I thought it was nicer not knowing.

Admiralpiett · 29/04/2011 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crapbankerswife · 29/04/2011 18:53

didn't for DC1 and not planning to for DC2. I find it very odd when people talk about unborn babies as he/she and even more discomfiting when they refer to it by name. It makes me nervous because I am something of a pessimist and I worry about losing a baby having built up such future for a little one. It's hard enough getting thru the waiting, and the scans. I know that's a bit dark but I do find it a bit when people bounce thru their pregnancies assuming everything is going to go perfectly...

Tidey · 29/04/2011 18:57

Hospital wouldn't tell us with DC1, paid for extra scan to find out out with DC2.

greensnail · 29/04/2011 19:02

I didn't find out for either of mine. I loved having them delivered onto my tummy and me being the first one to have a look and find out that they were girls.

Original poster

FrettyBetty · 29/04/2011 19:25

Crapbanker, love your name , but yes, no way will I give out the name, and I doubt we will even have a name. Maybe a shortlist.

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mumwithdice · 29/04/2011 19:36

We didn't find out until she was born. We made it part of the birth plan that DH would be the one to tell me whether the baby was a boy or a girl after it was out.

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