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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How many of you did not find out the sex of the baby (before birth, obviously)?

51 replies

FrettyBetty · 28/04/2011 20:09

DH would like to know. His explanation is quite sweet, though: he said he was always the kid who opened Christmas presents early . I on the other hand, am not too opposed to knowing, but I find it nice to think of a baby as a baby. After all it is a baby - why rush gendering him / her? I am also annoyed that EVERYONE asks this as a first question (not close friends, funnily), and I am not sure if it will be easier to be able to tell them, or I will find it too private, and like I am giving a little bit of our family bliss away IYSWIM.

So just wondering, does anyone nowadays keep the sex of the baby a secret?

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Piffpaffpoff · 28/04/2011 20:15

I didn't know both times. I wanted finding out to be my 'reward' for getting through labour!

feedthegoat · 28/04/2011 20:17

I didn't find out. I think the anouncement bit is so much more exciting for starters but I also wanted the surprise myself too.

ShowOfHands · 28/04/2011 20:17

you'll find it pretty evenly split on here. Some find out, some don't. Neither way is right or wrong, you just have a preference.

I didn't find out with dd because I wanted to buy pink (I bought unisex) or paint pink or imagine girly things. I liked finding out about the baby inside me. Size, facts of development, what s/he had between his/her legs. It wasn't about surprise for me.

slovenlydotcom · 28/04/2011 20:18

I found out at the 20 week scan both times - we were so naive dh asked at the 12 week scan the first time

I don't understand your comment about thinking of a baby as a baby- I thought of mine as little people and we addressed them by name from 20 weeks onward.

The doctor who delivered dd asked if we knew and had chosen a name and then cried 'here she is, here's X' as she was delivered which I found very emotional.

shesparkles · 28/04/2011 20:18

I didn't find out with either of mine and don't regret it for a second. Ot was the best feeling in the world when I had ds and the midwife held him up saying "look what you've got"

FessaEst · 28/04/2011 20:19

I didn't find out with DD, and have no idea this time either. I love the suspense and the baby name chat and it just gave me an extra spur in labour! All the other pg people I know atm have found out, and I quite like being the one that doesn't!

Fumblina · 28/04/2011 20:19

We didn't find out. DH described it as lifes 'last big surprise' and was adamant we didn't.

Was convinced DD was a boy though, so much so that I didn't think to even ask when she was born. DH said 'its a girl'. I said (high on gas and air) 'its a baby'

Paschaelina · 28/04/2011 20:19

I am just like your DH! I was always the one who sneakily unwrapped presents in advance and wrapped them again, just to avoid a surprise.

Also, my DH always saw himself as father to a child of one particular sex, and I wanted him to have lots of time to acclimatize if it turned out he was having the other sex.

I really didn't want the baby coming out and his reaction to be wrong if it wasn't what he was expecting. He would not have dealt well with his guilt if that had happened.

Onefunmum · 28/04/2011 20:19

Exactly what piffpaffpoff said. I wanted something extra to look forward to at the end of all my hard work!
Admittedly I was tempted to find out with DC2 but DP talked me out of it and I'm glad he did!

LaWeasel · 28/04/2011 20:20

Doing a quick tot up of my friends and their 7 pregnancies. One didn't found out.

I have heard on MN that in some areas the sonographers aren't keen to tell, so something to bear in mind?

I'm glad I found out - because I had quite a strong feeling and preference that baby would be one gender. Which baby wasn't! I had another few months to reimagine life with my little girl, and forget the little boy dreams instead of having a huge shock in the labour ward and it getting in the way with bonding.

Just to add, I absolutely adore my little girl, and have no preference/ideas this time around but will found out just so I've got a bit more choice when shopping.

BigSooz · 28/04/2011 20:20

It is a very personal thing.

I didn't find out with any of mine, and am glad I didn't. I can only liken it to the feeling of not knowing what you are getting for Christmas when you are 5 yrs old x 100. The most exciting surprise ever.

But I do understand the (many) reasons why people would want to know.

rubyslippers · 28/04/2011 20:20

I never found out either time

I have to say finding out at the end of my labours was awesome

It's really personal tho

ShowOfHands · 28/04/2011 20:24

I blanked most of my labour, can't remember the moment dd was born and she was whisked off (emcs). No announcement would have crossed the fog tbh.

thehairybabysmum · 28/04/2011 20:24

I didnt with both of mine and it was amazing to hear the midwife say its a boy and very exciting at the end wondering what it was.

Best surprise you will ever have!

figgygal · 28/04/2011 20:26

IM finding out asap it's a surprise whenever u find out afterall.

cat64 · 28/04/2011 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ballstoit · 28/04/2011 20:31

Didnt find out with DS (DC1) and was slightly disappointed, for a very few seconds (as DSis had 3 boys and I was hoping for 1st granddaughter). Did find out with both DDs. Because I was worried I would be disappointed again with DD1 and because DD2 was a hell of a shock surprise and we'd already got rid of everything and didnt want to go down the neutral route for 1 baby.

So, I've waffled on (and on!) but would honestly say it made no odds to how I felt about any of them. Once they arrived I couldnt remember what had gone before anyway.

mondayschild · 28/04/2011 20:33

I didn't find out, but always "knew" DS was a boy - I suppose I had a 50/50 chance of being right!! Even though I didn't find out, I still feel I really bonded with him before birth and it was a really nice moment finding out it when he was born.

I'm undecided whether I would find out with any future DC. On the one hand, it would be interesting to see if it feels different knowing for (almost) sure, but on the other I wonder whether I'd instinctivly know (and be right!) again.

LawrieMarlow · 28/04/2011 20:37

We didn't with either DS or DD. Didn't want to at all with DS and totally happy with that. I did want to find out with DD but she didn't want us to know. Was totally happy with that as well.

cece · 28/04/2011 20:37

We didn't with any of our three. I must say we were unusual in our choice not to find out.

We got the usual what is it? questions and I was even accused of lying a few times when I said I didn't know Someone told me that I did know and just wasn't telling anyone !

Anyhow it was the right thing for us. I must admit I have never sneaked a peak at any xmas presents either; I like the anticipation...

Plus I love all of the speculation of is it a boy or girl AND the names talking. Double the pleasure if you have to discuss boys and girls names!

Finally I love having my babies delivered onto my tummy and finding out the gender for myself.

TrinityRhino · 28/04/2011 20:39

first time I thought I wanted to know but was with a hospital that did not tell you

the second time I thought I wanted to know but changed my mind the day of the 20 week scan

third time I was sure I did not want to know

all three are pink ones

lockets · 28/04/2011 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuelingFanjo · 28/04/2011 20:44

I didn't find out. Same reasons as you, I didn't want to do all that gender stuff. It's bad enough now he's here with all the gender stereotyping he gets.

lolajane2009 · 28/04/2011 20:46

I found out this week at my 20 week scan. I had a feeling it was a boy and found out why.

Gwinkofchocolate · 28/04/2011 20:50

Didn't find out for either of mine.

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