Anyone have a bump 'frenemy'?

[hilltop666]

So my SIL and I are both pregnant shes due about 10 days before me, and im getting really pissed off with the constant comparing of bumps.

The weird thing is im alot smaller but she keeps trying to make me feel like im bigger than i actualy am saying "oh your massive now" - most people comment on how neat I am for 30 wks, I def have a bump and have put weight on my ass and thighs but no one else seems to notice and everyone else says im all bump, am still fittting in most of my size 10 stuff and am really embracing the bump and loving looking pregnant.

She def has ishooes as this is and IVF baby after 2nd attempt and trying for about 10ysr, so I feel she shouldn't really give a shit that her bump is bigger than mine and always tryng to hide it (wearing massive jumpers) and just enjoy the fact that she is preganant and is going to have a gorgeous baby at the end of it. I just want to shake her and say who cares what size u are the baby is the most important thing!! [bunconfused]

Anyone else have a pregnant frind or family member who does this??

re: the christening, do you really think she is planning this event just to get at you?! When IS a good time? A week before you are due (when it's possible your baby could be born) or two weeks later (you could be overdue and giving birth then!) Or a month after you give birth - then it will coincide with your own christening! And wouldn't she plan it for a weekend so most people can attend? Or am I missing something... I hope so.

Think you should try to rise above all of this because you are looking as petty as you say she is.

Lulu if you had a SIL and MIL like mine you would understand, yes I know alot of it does sound hard to believe, but i'm not twisting anything here that I am saying and its actually v hard to convey her personality without people thinking im the mental one or exaggerating, but thank god my DH has finally realised what way they treat me but its not fair to him to whine about his family, also most of the rest of our family members don't get on with her as she has offended or annoyed them in all some fashion, everyone just passes themselves to avoid a row, so she get's to act how she wants.

Im sure plenty of people on here have difficult family members and its bloody hard, which is we rant here instead of RL!

hilltop I'm amazed she would decide to have her baby's christening when the baby's about 10 days old! I would've thought most first time mums would be either sleeping, feeding or tearing their hair out at that point. (I was doing all 3 [cgrin]). Also she may be in hospital for a few days, or the baby might not even be born. To me it does sound she's decided on that weekend to spite you. (You may have guessed I have IL's similar to yours I think!) But then you may be grateful for an excuse not to go and also for people not to be able to visit. You might be quite glad of the peace and quiet! [cwink]

I think all the posters who think you have the issues or that you're being harsh on her are extremely lucky. They clearly have never experienced having people constantly treat you badly, pass comment on you and place negativity on any happiness you may have. It is truly horrible to be treated like this and when it is your family, by blood or marriage, there is rarely a great deal you can do about it. To those posters, just imagine what it is like to have this happen for years on end and know it may never stop, and to be made to feel bad about the one amazing and precious thing a woman can do (naturally or through fertility treatment - it's all amzing).

I really think you should stop defending yourself. It seems to me this is the latest in a long line of problems you have had to deal with quietly, probably not even revealing all your feelings about this to your DH. Of course you will feel hurt by their comments and of course you will be worried about how your child will be treated.

I know it is difficult to ignore all of this, but I think the only way to stop you getting down about it is to rise above it. And when you find out how to do that please let me know. [cwink]

Good luck with your pregnancy. [csmile]

Aw Saoirse thank u, u sound like u are speaking from experience, and it helps to know other people go through it too and I'm not the only one with crazy in laws- sometime I think how did my DH turn out so good!

Know wat u mean about the madness after bringing the LO home, and it will prob be worse than I even expect but I wouldn't even dream that I would be ready for a christening at that stage, this is another thing that shows her level of maturity, but hey ho its just another thing on the long list!

If I didn't laugh I would cry!!

ps. your name is new contender on our list

You both sound as bad as each other and I'm glad neither of you are in my family!

Yes I do have a 'bad' relative but I just keep my head down and do my own thing. The relative in question is always annoyed when I don't rise to her digs or manipulative behaviour or bitchy comments about me directed to others. And that's far more satisfying than being bitter. The best revenge is living well, as Confucious (or someone) says!

My husbands cousin just announced that she is pregnant (she isn't even at 12 weeks yet but I guess it's her decision), and when I said congratulations she said nothing back to me - 17 weeks with a very visible bump.

spatchcock that's exactly what hilltop is doing isn't it? I think it's far better to be telling complete strangers about this than to rise to the bait in RL. That's certainly what I have to do and it is bloody hard not to say exactly what I think.

hilltop As it happens I've just found out yesterday that my SIL and her DP are about to start IVF. It's actually her DP who's having the embryo implanted and she didn't want anyone to know yet, but SIL has already told loads of people and asked them not to say anything. I understand she'll be a mum too, but it's also not her body going through this and not just her decision when/who to tell. We'll see how this pans out!

It's a good job I was nice to you or you might have been put off the name, and I love it! [cgrin]