Have name changed for this as I dont want it to be taken wrong/offend anybody.

[NameChange3456]

I was just wondering if someone can explain what a miscarriage feels like and how common it is?

I sincerely apologise if this post offends anybody but asking is the only way I will find out.

Sorry and Thank You.

Some are painful, like crapming feeling. Others are totally painless.

I am sure i heard something like 7 in 10 pregnancies miscarry before 12 weeks.
it is frighteningly common.

Mine felt like a heavy period but with dragging pains. But they were both early. Hope you're ok.

Don't worry about offending you need advice.

Sorry just to say again I'm asking because it seems to have happened to alot of people on here and I didnt realise it was so common.

Thanks again

BeaMoaning thanks for asking but I'm fine! Im just worried about telling anybody I'm pregnant incase it happens.

mine started with a dull back ache like the first day of your period. Try not to worry, unless you have bleeding there really shouldnt be any need for you to worry. X

well the most important thing to do is try not to worry or panic. Stress certainly wont help.

oh, and Congratulations.

Yes congratulations and try not to worry.

Dull cramps, loss of symptoms, then bleeding for me(early mc).

Congrats, try not to worry. If I get pregnant again Im going to try and wait till 8-12 weeks before telling people.

1st mc was at 6 weeks. Loss of symptoms followed by bleeding but I had no pain or cramps. The bleeding started out brown and stringy but got heavier and went from bright red to very dark red, almost black, with clots. On the third day I passed a large greyish-brown clot which the hospital told me was the sac, etc. The bleeding stayed quite heavy and a scan showed a fragment of something was left, it passed later that day and the bleeding slowed right down. It last another week (two weeks in total) and I got pregnant again six months later.

2nd mc was a mmc, picked up at 14.5 weeks that baby had died at 13.5 weeks. I had no symptoms or signs. They told me that a D&C wasn't the best course and I had to take a pill, then two days later spend the day in hospital taking more pills until everything passed. I can honestly say it was awful. I had cramps that actually felt like the early stage contractions I remembered from DS. That went on for about two hours, then my waters broke and everything came away virtually minutes afterwards. Because it was complete I didn't need any further treatment but I did have to stay until the bleeding slowed a little bit, the pain stopped as soon as the baby was out. They asked if we wanted to say goodbye, which we did, and we got to hold the baby after they'd done a quick clean-up and wrapped a blanket around it. It was very strange because a foetus of that gestation is not something you're ever meant to see if the world was an ideal place but it did help to say goodbye. I bled for five weeks afterwards, some of it quite heavy, but didn't have any pain. I got my period a week after the bleeding stopped and got pregnant again with my current pregnancy, oddly enough conceived on what would have been my due date.

It's not bad to ask, IMO open talk about "taboo" subjects is a good thing because it raises awareness and let's others know that they're not alone.

With insight (i.e 2 successful pregnancies later on) I might have had 1 for sure (may be 2) early miscarriages. I wasn't in a place where I could checked privately. But period 1 months late (6 or 7 weeks?), was very sick and tired, with very heavy and longer period at the end. And yes things passing.
I would guess it really depends how far along you are when it happens.
A lot of people miscarry before realising they are pregnant.

My miscarriage happened at 9 weeks and had no symptoms other than blood loss for a few days and then it felt like very bad period pains, was very draining both emotionally and physically. Before I had a miscarriage I never knew how common they are.

I had one 18 months ago. I didn't know I was pg and have no idea how far along I was. I'd been told I couldn't conceive, had irregular periods so didn't notice anything. I never did a test or saw a doctor because I was on holiday in a remote part of Cuba until 10 days later.

I woke up at 5am with sort of mild contractions but a lot of pain. I went and sat on the toilet with diarrhoea and very very heavy bleeding. It was about an hour before I mustered the energy to shout for DP. I can't really remember it properly but DP told me I kept fainting whilst on the toilet and he had to hold me up.

After a few hours I was completely exhausted and went to bed. I just felt like crap for a couple of days, then pretty much back to normal.

I had no feeling like pain etc with my 1st loss. I just KNEW that something wasn't right. I'm not normally like that I should add but I just had a sudden sense something was wrong. Took 2 weeks for the drs to believe me. Turns out from scans I had lost when I thought I had. I never lost naturally I had to go in for a d&c.

My 2 nd was much earlier at 5 weeks just felt lie a heavy painful crampy period. I don't get them like that normally.

If you are worried u r going thru one then please don't worry about sounding like you are being silly. Make that call and get seen at the epu.

If you are just concerned then try not to worry or stress yourself and baby out worrying. Yes they are common but so are healthy happy babies. Saying that I still worry every day but mainly because ive been thru 2 and took a while to ttc. I'm now 26 w 5 days but just worry every now and then.

Good luck with your pregnancy!

I agree with JimmyChoo. yes, miscarriage is common and everyone will tell you that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage but that means 3 in 4 don't - so the odds are on your side. And while lots of ladies here have experience of missed/silent miscarriage or repeat miscarriage, that's only because you have a large concentration of child-bearing women in one place. Once you get past 12/13 weeks your chance of miscarriage is just 1%.

At the time it's happening it's shitty and you wonder why you have to be that 1 in 4 or that 1% but it does help to know that one miscarriage, even two, doesn't harm your chances of your next pregnancy being normal and doesn't increase your risk of another miscarriage. Causes of miscarriage aren't investigated until three consecutive losses (any live births between miscarriages "resets" the counter, so to speak) and often they don't find a reason for them.

It's a terrible feeling and everyone reacts differently. Both times I felt cheated, not just for me but for my babies too - because 6 weeks or 14 weeks or 40 weeks, it's not a bunch of cells, it's your child. I felt robbed of all the things that should have been theirs and I was upset and angry and looked for places to lay blame but it does get easier. When I lost my first I'd tried for three years and thought we'd never have a child so losing it was a double blow. Six months later I got pregnant again and was terrified but I had a beautiful little boy who is now 19mo, he'd have never been born if my first pregnancy had gone ahead as planned. When I lost my next pregnancy having him helped me through it because I had to pick myself up and keep going for his sake so it meant I wasn't dwelling, plus I knew from him that I could carry a pregnancy. I'm now 18+4 with my fourth pregnancy and I don't think I'll fully relax until I have the baby in my arms but again, this baby wouldn't exist if I'd gone full term last time.

It's OK to ask :) after all this is why we have this virtual community :) Congrats on your pregnancy and pls try not to worry - I know it's easier said than done!

In my case - physically I felt nothing - no cramping, bleeding etc. It was a MMC picked up during an early scan at 8 weeks where I was shocked to find out that I had a blighted ovum and the pregnancy wasn't developing. I waited for two weeks and nothing happened so had the ERPC under GA and it was a good decision - I actually went to work 2 days after the OP and got my period exactly 4 weeks later, another cycle and I was pregnant again so the miscarriage didn't really have a major physical effect.

Emotionally it's a different story - I was shattered and depressed for a while after and stressed out in the first weeks of this current pregnancy. Still can't believe that everything is OK this time around and am only slowly starting to "look forward" to scans - I cried a lot on my first scans with this pregnancy and just couldn't believe that there was a kicking baby in there!

Hang in there and try to rest, be positive and relax! I had all the tests done after my MMC and they couldn't explain it - everything was fine, no chromosomal abnormality etc the dr (who was lovely btw) said that it was a fluke, it's sad but common and sometimes things are just not meant to be. He also assured me that in the first 12 weeks there really isn't much you can do either way - unless of course you have a medical condition etc. so unfortunately it is a waiting game and you just need to "get your head around it".

Good luck :) everything will be OK and hopefully you will soon get to relax and enjoy your pregnancy!! x

Thanks for asking this Namechange. It's not something people often feel comfortable about but is something poeople need to talk, and hear about.

The pregnancy I lost didn't really have any symptoms, but at about 8.5wks I just stopped feeling pg. I started to bleed a few days later.

For me the worst things were a, the shock that nothing could be done (niave I know but first pg) and b, that no one ever said to me, yes, you are having a miscarriage. Even at the scan the lady just said there would be more bleeding, worse than a period (this was a massive understatement, was like a mini labour!). It was as though what was happening was too awfull to be mentioned, and should be glossed over.

One of the nicest things was that my in-laws bought us a small tree. Each year, at the time of our loss, it is covered in catkins. I go past it evertime I go in or out of the garden and always think of the baby that couldn't be with us.

I found it really emotionally draining and am crying now as I think about it. I'm now blessed with a healthy 14mo and am pg again but having experienced mc makes me very unable to take things for granted. I see this as a blessing in many ways.

SOrry...Good luck with your PG!

Baddish period pain, especially when the placenta is being shed. This IS noticeable, even at quite an early stage - it's not just a clot, it's a big fistshaped thingie.

Starts with noticeable bleeding - can happen in a healthy pregnancy - but the key sign is when it gets much heavier with big dark clots.

I also had a postpartum infection after one. Fever, chills, stabbing abdominal pain - not like a cramping pain but more like food poisoning.

Hi Namechange hope you re ok?
I ve had 2 MCs and my dd at 41 weeks was stillborn.My first MC was A mmc so i had no signs or symptons there were any problems.My 2 nd MC was at 7 weeks,4 days [i think] and i started bleeding,old brown blood but no pain.For me my early losses were nothing compared to loosing my DD at 41 weeks and having to go through labour with Georgie.
Hope you are lucky enough not to miscarry and keep well X
We, too , have a garden ornament to remember the MCs and many mementos for Georgie.
My first MC was diagnosed at the dating scan and i had medical management.
My 2 nd MC was managed surgerically with an ERPC.physically both times i had stopped bleeding within a couple of weeks.For me , physically the bleeding was like a heavy period each time i also didn t have any pain at all.
However, with loosing my DD at 41 weeks everything was magnified and multiplied a million times over.
Congrats and i hope all is ok XXX

so sorry to everyone for their losses :(

Ever since i read the story of amanda holden, i worry about my baby dying in the womb, not so much a miscarriage (though it might still be classed as that, i dont know), but that the baby has died. Im only 19 weeks and go for my scan next week. How does anyone know that it has happened, apart from lack of movement? i have felt some movements but only every now and then, is there blood etc? Feel awful asking, but it really does concern me.

Many thanks

oh louisesh, i posted that before i read your post, im so sorry x

I thought I was having a nice easy pregnancy - no sickness, a little bit tired and gassy but that was it. At 9 weeks I got a very small amount of pink spotting, which got slightly heavier over the week so I went to the EPU for a scan. No pain at all. The scan found the embryo hadn't progressed beyond 7 weeks. The day after the scan I got period type cramps so took a couple of ibuprofen. Then felt a gush of blood and spent the next 40 minutes on the toilet with really heavy bleeding - literally drip, drip, drip like a tap. I passed out on the toilet so DP called an ambulance and I was rushed to hospital, where I had to lie on a bed while a very camp chinese man used one of those plastic smear test contraptions to see what was happening and the consultant removed some 'product' that had got stuck in my cervix. I had to have an erpc the next day.

It was not like I expected - there was no pain apart from the period cramps. The most painful thing was my boobs returning to their normal size the net day! I expected the emotional side to be worse (in fact I was disappointed rather than devestated) and hadn't even considered the physical (had been told it would be like a heavy period).

If you want stats, it's about 1 in 4 for miscarriage overall, although age is a big factor (1 in 6 for 20yr olds, 1 in 2 for over 40s iirc)
The risk drops to around 1% or less after 12 weeks (have also heard it's after 9 weeks if a heartbeat has been found)
Stillbirths for white British women 4.5 per 1000. A stillbirth is classed after 6 months, so full term like the tragedy that happened to louise's DD are rarer. I can't imagine what she went through. Also the stats are affected by higher risk pregnancies, like the poor mumsnetter who lost her quads a few months ago, and heavy smokers, drinkers and mums having essential medication for various diseases, and pregnancy-related illnesses. Strangely, your risk is lower if you are married and your husband works for a medium sized organisation .

You're probably going to make yourself worry more by reading threads like this, but try to remember that the stats are still in your favour, many more babies are born healthy than not, and if the worst happens there is a lot of support on here and there will be hope and happiness in your future.

Hello Namechange,

I think the reason it seems common on here is that alot of people post when things are going wrong and need advice rather than when things are fine and the people that respond are the people who have had similar experiences. I only posted on here once things went wrong or I had questions. (Hopefully I will be able to support people too once I start to feel better about things.)

I am going through a miscarriage (not happened yet but it will at some point because it stopped growing a few weeks back) and now I am having to tell people that I am/was pregnant because I needed to talk to people and because I haven't been able to go into work all week. When I have told people they are then telling me about people that they know who have been through it or they have experiences it themselves but it is something that is kept quiet.

I think that when I am pregnant again I will tell the people that I would tell if I did miscarry. We only told close family we were expecting and that was only because we were going on holiday with them. We have now both had to tell close friends and work what is happening and it is a relief to have people to talk to about it.

Congratulations and please don't let this thread worry you. The odd are in your favour!! x

That's exactly right LIG - it's not really a subject you drop into polite conversation or small talk. When I had my mc I found I knew loads of people who had had a similar experience, many of whom I had known for years without realising what they had been through.

And I hope I didn't scare you with my post - it doesn't happen that way for most people.

I miscarried at the weekend, had lots of pain, like contractions that came and went but were regulalry spaced apart, then I had a lot of pain and my waters broke, i only saw blood once in A&E and I lost the baby and things went very wrong. I was 3 and a half months. 6 days later and I am feeling slightly better about things.
Lots of people go through this, but many more have a health pregnancy - I'm clinging on to that thought.
Your likely to have a succeful pregnancy, try not to worry.