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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Maternity Nurse - are they worth it?

32 replies

emmazed · 12/04/2011 15:34

Hello

I am 15 weeks pregnant with my first child and my sister (who has 3 kids) recommended that we use a maternity nurse when i give birth. She used them for all three of hers, although she has more money that we do. We could afford the costs, however it is a lot of money, which could be better spent elsewhere.

I am sorry if this has been discussed lots elsewhere (i have done a search & not found anything) but i wondered if anyone could help with their experiences

thanks

OP posts:

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LoveACuppaTea · 12/04/2011 15:36

I have so much to learn!

bemybebe · 12/04/2011 15:40

Love Maternity nurse takes care of new born babies. A friend of mine said it was the best money she has ever invested. She is the only child and no close family around. Others did not need/did not consider as they could access plenty of help from their dparents/pil and siblings with experience.
Will watch with interest.

Original poster

emmazed · 12/04/2011 15:41

loveACuppa Tea as far as i know, it is a nurse who lives with you (either 24 hours a day, or just overnight) for the first few weeks with your baby. they will look after the baby and teach you what to do, ie burping, changing nappies, putting them down, help with breastfeeding (if you are doing it), plus all the tidying, cleaning & washing for the baby.

OP posts:

LoveACuppaTea · 12/04/2011 15:44

oh right.......

ajmama · 12/04/2011 15:47

Really depends on what you want. I had one for my Ds and to be honest she wanted to completely take over the baby and we crossed swords as I would go to feed him and find her already doing it. What I really needed was just an extra pair of hands while I recovered from my CS. Some are happy with this level of care. I am now expecting number 2 and will be having a CS and have no family nearby so im planning just a night nurse for a little while and upping my cleaners hours. Most maternity nurses just want to focus on the newborn and are unwilling to muck in around the house or with siblings.

oranges123 · 12/04/2011 15:53

I didn't have one but I know a couple of people who have and the impression I get is that the greatest benefit they bring is the chance to get some rest after childbirth so you are a bit less exhausted when you have to take over full time care. The disadvantage seems to be that you can become a little reliant on the maternity nurse and panic when you are eventually left to look after the baby yourself. You can avoid this a bit by having a few gaps in the time the nurse is there, say weekends off or something, so you have to look after the baby yourself but with the reassurance of knowing the nurse is coming back in a day or so and you can ask them then where things are going wrong (if they are).

Also, if you do decide to get one, judging from what I have been told, it would be better for your your husband/partner to save his paternity leave for after the MN has gone because otherwise he is going to be a bit redundant while the MN is there and then you are left completely alone when she is gone and he is back at work.

YesWhat · 12/04/2011 15:54

emmazed by far the majority of maternity nurses aren't actual nurses - the term is more akin to 'nursery nurse' iyswim

don't expect your maternity nurse to have a look at your stitches for you! ( a fof made this mistake!)

everyspring · 12/04/2011 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SelinaDoula · 12/04/2011 15:58

You could also consider a post natal doula.
"What is the difference between a postnatal doula, a nanny, and a maternity nurse?
A nanny normally cares for babies, and children exclusively. A maternity nurse will also care exclusively for the baby. A postnatal doula is a nonmedical professional. A postnatal doula specialises in the care of you, the mother, the household and siblings; offering help with the baby when needed. She is there to empower you to be the mother that you want to be."
From
[[http://www.mammydoula.co.uk/faq.htm}}

Find a doula at-
doula.org.uk/find-a-doula

Selina

nannyl · 12/04/2011 15:59

was going to suggest a doula as well

they will care for YOU and your baby and most do light house work / washing up / meal prep etc etc.... whatever YOU want.

you will of course have to be up at night with your baby though, where as a maternity nurse will let you sleep, or ONLY give you to brest feed, and when fed, she will settle baby back to sleep afterwards.

Most maternity nurses get babies into a routine quite quickly and sleeping through at an early-ish age too.

hocuspontas · 12/04/2011 16:01

Providing you have a supportive partner who can have time off and take over looking after you, the home, cooking etc then I would have thought they are a bit superfluous. It's the time for the parents to bond with the baby imo and I know I would have felt uncomfortable having someone else there. Of course you will make mistakes but looking after a baby isn't rocket science honest!

ajmama · 12/04/2011 16:11

Agree with HP I found it uncomfortable having someone else around all the time when you want to bond with your baby. A post natal doula sounds great in theory but when I looked into one for when I have DC2 I asked if they were prepared to do light housework like unload dishwasher and I was told in no uncertain terms that they were not cleaners! I also found them rather judgemental about me having a planned CS.

bemybebe · 12/04/2011 16:38

i am ashamed to say that being 16 weeks pregnant i have absolutely no idea how to look after a young baby. i cared for 4 stepkids, but the youngest one was 6 at the time... my dm died, i have no siblings and no friends in this country to ask for baby advice if i need some. i was thinking of maternity nurse (not for cleaning fgs, but to teach me something that our mothers/relatives would normally help with). now i see doula options, is it as good as? maternity nursing services are horrendously expensive...

ajmama · 12/04/2011 16:51

Bemybebe a maternity nurse would probably be perfect for you if you did not mind live in and make it very clear from the start like you have here what you want to the agency so they match you up with the right one. Doulas have no medical training whatsoever but maternity nurses are often ex midwives or nurses. While a maternity nurse was not for me you do actually get a lot out of them as they are on duty 24 hours and given doulas charge by the hour if you were to tally it up for the hours worked doulas are a lot more expensive . I I had no idea how to care for a baby either you will be amazed how your maternal instinct will kick in.

otchayaniye · 12/04/2011 16:58

I hired one when I lived in Singapore but had my baby early and basically turned from GF book owner into an attachment parenter and frantic 24-hour breastfeeder so we cancelled her.

We had a housekeeper come in every other day and my husband reduced his hours so housework wasn't an issue and there was nothing anyone else could do apart from me breastfeed and cuddle all day long.

I was lucky! I look fondly back at that time. I did spend some cash on breastfeeding counsellors though (no HVs there)

This time around (back in UK) it will be tough!

mumonahottinroof · 12/04/2011 16:59

If you have no family to help out and partner who needs to go back to work quickly then a maternity nurse could be great.

Personally I wouldn't book one in advance - some people can't cope at all with a newborn and some can. Depends on you, baby's personality and what kind of birth you had. You can easily book one very quickly after the birth - I know lots of people who did and lots of people who couldn't understand why on earth you'd need one.

otchayaniye · 12/04/2011 17:06

Oh, I flew my mother out to stay with us, but she didn't help. When I was crying over the feeding she ummed and ahhed and told me 'it was sooo long ago I did this (am only child), I can't remember!'

Breastfeeding advice one on one in your own home can incredibly useful, all the rest, well, I can't see how anyone can tell you anything earth shattering.

All newborns need is breastfeeding (if you choose/want to/try to), cuddles and changing nappies. Not much else.

otchayaniye · 12/04/2011 17:07

I'd like to know what 'putting them down' is, and how it needs to be done!

bemybebe · 12/04/2011 17:17

ajmama thank you! Do you recon 2 weeks is too short/enough? My health insurance will pay for 2 week "private breastfeed support", I wonder if I can use this cover at least in part for the maternity nurse.

ajmama · 12/04/2011 17:40

Im getting my night nanny for 2 weeks as I am having my CS privately and will be in hospital for 6 days and should be ok after 2 weeks. It depends on how you deliver. Given you have international insurance by the sounds of it I assume you are having the baby privately? If so you will have longer in hospital so I would say 2 weeks is plenty and you can always extend the booking but you may not get the same nurse. By then even if you have a CS you will be feeling better and you will have an idea of how the baby is. I was very lucky with DS as he was just having a 2am feed and settling straightaway but this time I am bracing myself as I am convinced I wont be so lucky this time!

bemybebe · 12/04/2011 18:04

I am actually going NHS (no local private facilities) and I did not yet think about the possibility of CS. Curious whether 2 weeks is a good stretch to settle for a new baby and one rather anxious mum.

Ferncottage · 12/04/2011 18:07

We had a night nanny for about 5 weeks - she came 3 times a week so we could sleep - I was bottle feeding but if you're not they bring the baby into you to feed and then take it away again. It was fantastic

BagofHolly · 12/04/2011 20:26

I have night nanny, she started when my children were 7 weeks old and my one regret is that we didn't get her sooner. I was beyond sleep deprived and off my head, frankly, and she cones in for 2 nights a week. She charges same as double childminder rates and that stacks up well against the £180 A NIGHT we were quoted for a proper maternity nurse. We've no plans to get rid of her until everyone is sleeping through.
If you can, you should.

willowstar · 12/04/2011 20:39

bemybebe...I am in a similar position to you...no family in this country etc...husband couldn't take time off (he worked half days for a week or so) and I coped just fine very much with the help of mumsnet, I'm not kidding! if you are planning on breastfeeding you need to be with your baby pretty much all the time as they feed pretty much constantly. you will be fine, honestly.

willowstar · 12/04/2011 20:43

and I would have found it very unsettling to have a stranger in the house. I found having a baby a very spiritual experience despite not being a very spiritual person at all (probably the hormones!) and I am not sure I would have had there been someone there all the time. Also...the same happened to me as otchayaniye...I thought I would be a Gina Ford woman but within days I was an attachment parent sort of person and haven't looked back (my daughter is 19 months old).

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