Maternity Nurse - are they worth it?

[emmazed]

Hello

I am 15 weeks pregnant with my first child and my sister (who has 3 kids) recommended that we use a maternity nurse when i give birth. She used them for all three of hers, although she has more money that we do. We could afford the costs, however it is a lot of money, which could be better spent elsewhere.

I am sorry if this has been discussed lots elsewhere (i have done a search & not found anything) but i wondered if anyone could help with their experiences

thanks

willowstar i want to breastfeed and am prepared to invest as much time as i possibly can getting into it. it is the other things (am i doing 'this' right, should i do it 'that' way?) that worry me

other things (am i doing 'this' right, should i do it 'that' way?) that worry me.

Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. They need to be on your breast (or just on you if bottle feeding) all the time, and kept clean! That's it. That really is about it. Smiling, chatting, cuddling, skin contact, access to the breast (or bottle) whenever they want it is about it. Anyone who tells you otherwise has an axe to grind, is interesting in 'training' (and although I don't want to be judgey -- PLEASE don't attempt to train a newborn) infants.

Riding the chaotic first weeks through and having the baby close by and sleeping when they sleep and not worrying about routines is for many (I'm by no means saying all) the best way to cope with the upheaval.

I'm pregnant with a second and worry about how to juggle it but fully intend on co-sleeping with this one as well (you don't have to if you don't want to but it is best to have the baby in your room at least) as it's the best way for me to get rest and the best way to establish a good breastfeeding supply.

I'm also intending on tandeming (can you imagine what GF would say) as my 2-1/2 year old hasn't given up feeding.

I actually think if I'd gone ahead and had the maternity nurse it would really have interfered with how I worked out how to respond to my child. Too much 'noise' from a supposed 'authority' figure (and honestly, they don't have the answers, no one does, only YOU do) and you may even feel it goes against your maternal instinct.

But then I have gone against every 'nannying' style technique, training, practice and looking back the advice from midwives in Singapore (can be old fashioned) was plain wrong -- particularly about breastfeeding.

Cutting to the chase. You may feel you need advice. That's fine. You may feel overwhelmed and welcome some direction from an authority figure. I can understand that, and certainly felt it myself before I gave birth.

But you may or you may not) feel irritated, patronised and crowded out by having effectively what is likely to be a (bossy) stranger in your house. I even felt crowded and irritated by my own mother being there and could have done without any visitors.

I have a few friends who have multiple nannies, night nannies etc and they all found them useful, but then they've taken a very different parenting approach to mine -- which I fully accept isn't for everyone.

If it does make you feel calmer to have something in place, I'd go for it. You can always cancel!

Very best of luck. But you will be fine.

Personally, and if you are planning on breastfeeding - I'd rather spend the money on doing all the other "bits" you really don't have time for or don't want to be spending time doing when you have a new baby! i.e. spend money on loads of lovely convenience foods or takeaways, pay for a cleaner to come in and sort the house / washing / ironing etc! Like other people have said you will be absolutely amazed how much your maternal instinct will just kick in!

Also, be 'warned', if 'warn' is the right word, that a maternity nurse may not be the best person to help get breastfeeding on track if you run into difficulties. It can be hit and miss to find someone with the patience, training, sensitivity and knowledge to help.

if you are the sort who likes help to come to you (I am) then the numbers of some breastfeeding counsellors who can come out to you at the drop of a hat will be worth it. More than paying someone to tell you how to change a nappy, which is self explanatory.

A visit to the breast and bottle feeding forum will show just how prevalent misinformation is from nurses and doctors on this subject. Hell, I've even been told by an otherwise good and helpful midwife that I should stop breastfeeding in pregnancy!

I didn't hire the maternity nurse, but did seek professional help when I felt breastfeeding wasn't going as well as I thought it should (it actually was going fine, it was that I needed reassurance) the few hundred bucks I spent was really worth it.

And the cleaner.

Hi Emmazed. Did you get sorted with a maternity nurse? While it is true maternity nurses vary hugely a lot of them can be excellent in helping provide advice on feeding breast and formula, routines, sleep patterns etc. Like myslef a lot of maternity nurses have years and years of experience with babies and their knowledge can be invaluable. I myself constantly have mums telling me they couldn't have done it without my help or at least couldn't have brought their baby home as calmly and confidnetly. I think the most important thing is to get a maternity who doesn't judge and who is open to trying lots of different things as the same thing doesn't always work with every child. I myself I think am also unique in that I don't mind at all helping with older siblings and jobs around the house etc. I see my role as making mums life as stress free as possible but whilst teaching her and the family how to look after the baby after I am gone as there is no point me taking over and doing everything as it will all fall apart when left on your own. I aim to teach and enpower mum to bring up her baby/ies confidently.
I hope you found someone who could help you and all the best to you and your baby :)
Laura

I was in a same position some years ago when my daughter was born - I had no friends in this country to turn to, my mum could not come on time because my daughter was born a month earlier and this was a first child I saw in a close proximity. If only I new I could have duola or nurse staying with me I would certainly have it. I don't think someone rather then your mum will be bossy:)! And I don't believe in maternal instinct when it comes to bathing the baby. I waited for a week until my local nurse came with a visit to show me how to bath a newborn. There is a lot more than just nappies and breastfeeding ( which is intuitive unless you are super nervous). The nurses in hospital looked so much more confident in holding my baby and making it burping etc. I did not even know about burping problem. The modern society works in such way that we often leave away from home, relatives and friends and have no one to rely on. We meant to live in groups to pass the experience on and to support each other. You may also feel down after the birth because of the hormones, obviously tired and may not be able to run around. I could not walk properly for about a week due to dilated abdomen muscles. So my conclusion is to have someone for at least a first week and then may be a couple of days a week afterwords. It will make a difference!

It all depends on your baby and if your partner is available to help.

Personally I found the first month by far and away the easiest: I had a freezer full of meals, no pressure to be doing much, a husband around for a lot of the time to be able to load and empty the dishwasher and the garklet was sleeping for four hour stretches at night. Breastfeeding was an uphill struggle at times but I called on help from the local LLL, NCT and the hospital's breastfeeding service and was fine. And this was after a c-section and no family within 100s of miles.

This time around, I've got a cleaner (we didn't get her until I was 6m pp last time) and I'm def. going to up her hours (I know she'd be more than happy to muck in more).