Anyone else fed up of the seemingly preachy, holier than thou tone of most pregnancy books?

[undermilkwood]

Everytime I pick one up I read a few paragraphs and slam it shut again. The preachy tone actually brings on my morning sickness. Ok it's good to have information but they seem to be written for the LCD and seem to suggest that you can't have a life or any fun whilst pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing all the right things - no coffee, decaf tea, decent meals, lots of rest, yoga (when I can motivate self), but these silly books just make me annoyed. One this morning (Dr Miriam Stoppard, Bonding with your bump) even suggested that a bit of stres or the odd bad mood in pregnancy could result in a child with lifelong anxiety issues..... I can't take anymore!

Anyone else feel like this, or should I give them a break?

Give them a break if they make you feel like this.
I only look at the two books I have to find out what's going on with my bump and if I need advice on morning sickness etc. Don't really read the type that are like the Miriam Stoppard book.
Take it all with a pinch of salt.

I just ordered the Mumsnet guide from Amazon - waiting for it to arrive now.... I figured that one would be a bit more down to earth! Fingers crossed it is when it arrives!

When I was pregnant with DS the books drove me up the wall! And they never had anything in them about the bizarro stuff pregnancy brings like weird cravings or odd things happening to your nips. They were all so self-righteous. One of them said I should be saving money for the new arrival and I went into a tizzy because we seemed to be spending like there was no tomorrow getting the flat sorted and buying all the baby items we needed. There was no practical advice on things like shaving your legs whilst in the very early stages of labour and trying to persuade DH to help you give your "garden" a tidy up or how to get your hands on dark red apples at 3am on a Sunday or the exact etiquette of needing to throw up in the middle of an important meeting when you're giving the presentation and no one knows you're pregnant.

It was enough to make me want to to write my own book.

I haven't got any other the kaz cooke.... that one amuses me.

I had an awful one that even said "try not to be moody" I threw it away and bought a couple of others but never found a really nice one. (The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy was alright ish) I did however enjoy www.babycentre.co.uk's weekly email updates which have nice info directly related to the week your are in and links to all the factual stuff I needed to know online, and I loved Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Bit hippy for some but really opened my eyes to natural childbirth and had much more detail than any other book I have ever read about the events of the big day.

I got myself "The pregnancy bible".

It terrified me and DH nearly vomitted at the photograph of the actual afterbirth. Why oh why?

I totally felt the same when I first got pregnant, and this being my first I thought that some of these books were a bit too 'dictator-like'. But there was a book which I still read which is not preachy at all and just tells it like it is, the Mumsnet Guide to Pregnancy! That book together with daily doses of Mumsnet, is a perfect recipe for getting you through your pregnancy. I haven't read anything else apart from that and so far, I've had a very happy and healthy pregnancy!

(btw I'm 33 weeks today!)

I've got "what to expect when you're expecting" and it's not so much preachy as just RELENTLESSLY CHIRPY, which gets right on my wick.

Best one I've read isn't actually a pregnancy guide, but "Bring it on, Baby" by Zoe Williams is more reflective of my attitude to the whole thing (not a guide, though, just a collection of her newspaper columns about being pregnant).

The mumsnet one is great, and I quite like the (netmums) shhhh one too.

Best advice I ever saw in a Miriam stoppard one was to, in between contractions, make your husband a few sandwiches or a snack for the hospital. Men being completely unable to do such a thing themselves, obviously.

Best advice I ever saw in a Miriam stoppard one was to, in between contractions, make your husband a few sandwiches or a snack for the hospital. Men being completely unable to do such a thing themselves, obviously.

Are you serious?! I don't know this author- are the books quite old?

God, Is Miriam Stoppard still going - she must be great grandmother age by now! I hated her 23 years ago. But then I hated all the pregnancy books,

I got The Pregnancy Bible too Rose, noticed all the pictures are women wearing wedding rings & there was something I was reading about ages of first time mums - 30, 35, 40 & 45. So, I must be scum of the earth (engaged & 20!)

Oh I didnt notice that. Was probably to intruiged with the Photographs of the pregnancy version of the Karma Sutura in there!

WiiUnfit I took a look at the pregnancy bible at whsmith and then put it down for the same reason! I'm married now, but wasn't married when I fell pregnant, and I'm 24! I too then must be scum of the earth and lurrrrving it!

Another vote for the Mumsnet one - even my DH likes it!

I also like 'Pregnancy day by day' as I like looking at all of the pics.

I got the 'what to expect when you're expecting' and use it as a reference. I subscribe to a website babycenter.com which sends me an email weekly. The WTEWE is good in some areas such as exercises and it does go through all the options available for child birth.

For babycare I found a book by supernanny in our library. I like her low fuss approach and I thought there was a lot of good information in there such as games to play with your baby. Some of the feeding information seems a little bit different then what everyone else has told me. I have fab obn who has had 5 kids herself. She conducts the feeding support group and I will def be attending her weekly sessions.

Roseflower, yes, totally serious. It was an earlier edition of her pregnancy book that I got in our local charity shop whilst pg with dd1. Dh and I still laugh about it!

The best bit of What to Expect is when it tells you to not eat at restaurants that appear insanitary and that if you want to eat cold meat, you must heat it up to a specific temperature! Personally, I only ever eat out of bins so this is not a problem.

Lol @ DrSeuss!

Unfortunately I ordered mine from Amazon so it looked okay, it still has a few useful bits in though! The Kama Sutra bit made me laugh, it's a little patronising... maybe the intended audience don't have much imagination in the bedroom ;)

Phew so glad for these comments. I saw the bit about making sandwiches in stoppard's book too. It even said make your husbands first (oops I'm not married either) then make your own..... It didn't compute, the chauvinism of it....

Ina may's book is the only one I've bonded with hippyish but great. First pregnancy for me so trying to rely on my own intuitive Wisdom rather than all of these dubious statements that try to tell you how you should be feeling.

I think cos I work in academia I'm used to reading academic books and so it's like another world!

[puts books down]

Does anyone have suggestions for books for H? I've ordered 'The blokes guide to pregnancy' which seemed the most down to earth but any advise welcome...

LMAO @ DrSeuss 'Personally, I only ever eat out of bins so this is not a problem.'

not a pregnancy book (though the first one does talk about pregnancy), but I've always found Libby Purves's childcare books ('How not to be a perfect mum' is the first one I think) lovely in the way they talk about how to fit the baby into your life (eg how to take a baby camping or sailing) rather than assuming you are just going to drop everything once the baby arrives.

the other books you might enjoy are 'A World of Babies' (can't remember author, about childcare in different cultures) and 'Dream Babies: Childcare from Locke to Spock' by Christina Hardyment.
it is much better reading the dreadful ones once you can put them into a historical and cultural context and see them for what they are.

Dadlands by Daniel Blythe for your dh? has some funny bits and is quite sensible.

Hi Ernie, I ordered The Blokes Guide for my OH, he loves it. It is v.funny in parts!