Anyone else fed up of the seemingly preachy, holier than thou tone of most pregnancy books?

[undermilkwood]

Everytime I pick one up I read a few paragraphs and slam it shut again. The preachy tone actually brings on my morning sickness. Ok it's good to have information but they seem to be written for the LCD and seem to suggest that you can't have a life or any fun whilst pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm doing all the right things - no coffee, decaf tea, decent meals, lots of rest, yoga (when I can motivate self), but these silly books just make me annoyed. One this morning (Dr Miriam Stoppard, Bonding with your bump) even suggested that a bit of stres or the odd bad mood in pregnancy could result in a child with lifelong anxiety issues..... I can't take anymore!

Anyone else feel like this, or should I give them a break?

On a related note, I threw a gina ford book in the bin when my baby was a week old. That felt good.

Are we allowed to talk about Gina? Thought she was threatening to sue a few years ago? My midwife threw one of her books in the bin as she was dealing with a case where the baby was gaining no weight since it was being fed only on schedule. My somewhat anal boss bought a Gina book, as I predicted she would. She lasted less than a week!

I've got the DK Your Pregnancy week by week.
9781405348799

It's not patronzing at all - written by an obstretician, who is also a mother.
Loads of detail, including sciency bits like SEMs/TEMs and scans etc.

Lesley Regan, that's her.

Ugh. I hate them. I've never been a self-help book person (and I run a bookshop!)
My SIL lent me what to expect when you're expecting, I've read 4 pages and then threw it across the room (I have to say, that was st the height of my first trimester psycho hormone phase). I've looked at a few others and felt line doing the same with them all. Preachy, annoying, no proper advice, no "why is one nipple darker than the other?!" answers. Sod them.
From now on, I'm listening to my mum, my nan, my friends, and my gut. Oh, and MNetters :)
Good luck with your pg, btw :)

at the height
felt like doing

Honestly. Stupid iPhones ...

My future MIL bought me 'The Best Friends Guide to Pregnancy' last Sunday and from the introduction it had me laughing out loud - would thoroughly recommend.

I also have What to Expect When You're Expecting which is ok - but agree with ecuse it is a overly chirpy.

I recommend Yehudi Gordon "Birth and Beyond"

Really interesting and useful stuff for the first 9 months after birth as well about child developmental stages. Lots of advice on medical bits and pieces.
Complementary therapies covered too. First time round I liked the balance of straightforward medical stuff plus consideration of the emotional journey. Still referring to it for #2. My DH found it useful too and it does include stuff specifically for fathers. Amazon have it reduced at the mo from £25 to £14.

sorry but The Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy is the worst book I have ever bought. DH read it with increasing anger and disbelief before throwing it away with great force. Urgh. The sections on labour and breastfeeding are just dumb and the bloky / parochial salesman tone is vile.

Emma's Diary is a force for evil. I think they've discontinued it now...

In fact almost all pregnancy books (unless with specialist medical advice) are a waste of time - beyond not smoking / getting pissed, taking your folic acid and attending your midwife appointments and scans there isn't that much you can do to influence the outcome of your pregnancy so what's the point? Also they have this thing called the internet now - so you can get weekly updates from the usual parenting sites.

I would use the reading time to get through those books you'll never have a chance once you have a kid. I have very fond memories of getting through Trollope and Austen.

i quite liked the detail of the pregnancy bible. i had the rough guide one too which made me laugh. maybe a good balance. :)

i wish someone had made my DH some sandwiches, he refused to pack himself anything and was bloody starving! we were at the hospital for ages (i eventually had an emcs). a midwife took pity on him and got him a slightly dried out cheese sandwich at some point.

Am so glad it's not just me

I bought a French one (I'm in France so was logical) and although the updates on baby's size etc are interesting, and the bit about the French medical system is useful, it's soooooo irritating!

My particular hate is :

7 weeks : list of all the awful pregnancy symtoms followed by "accept these small inconveniences. They are there to remind you that you are the main actor of an almost miraculous event"

10 weeks : "you are starting to get used to your state and support with philosophy all the small inconveniences that happen throughout the day" (No I'm bloody not. I'm puking up 5 times a day and hating every minute)

12 weeks : "as if by magic your nausea will disappear overnight this week or next week" (No I'm still puking at 15 weeks!!!)

Plus of course all the lecturing on not overeating or snacking. We're weighed every month in France, as if I need reminding of the fact I'm putting on weight! (even though I'm not yet because of being so sick...)

There are also lots of handy hints of how to avoid droopy breasts, stretch marks, etc.

Tondelayo, great idea using the time to read all the books I'll never get a chance to later. Sounds very cosy curling up and reading a novel or two

ROFL FluffyDonkey, last night I read a brillian mirriam stoppard one liner.....

You may get sore nipples when breastfeeding, but persevere... many women find that breastfeeding justifies their entire existence'.... WTH????

LOL undermilk - that's a classic!

I haven't got first the first trimester of the book yet - well, I doubt I ever will, I'm now just skim-reading the bits that are interesting.

It is also taken as a given that you will return to work 3 months after the birth. And that epidural is pretty much the only pain relief option.

What to Expect is gently grooming you to accept any medical intervention going - be careful with that one. Other books are available

Miriam Stoppard also advocates in one of her books that at some point during your pregnancy, you train your DH to be able to make his own breakfast, as when the baby comes along, you may not be able to do this for him.

There are no words, really. That wasn't even comprehensible in the 80s, when she wrote the books.

wow, Prun DH makes my breakfast!
(can't imagine having to do that...)

How is Stoppard divorced? She's such a bloody doormat, you'd think she'd be many men's dream!

didn't Tom Stoppard leave her for Felicity Kendal? Maybe Miriam's doormattery was developed as a desperate attempt to keep him in the face of Barbara-from-the-Good-Life's dungaree-wearing perkiness.

I was going to mention the Stoppard/Kendall debacle but thought that would be unsisterly. They do look spookily like each other though.

More for hilarity than fact, but there is a great one I was linked to on Amazon called Let's Panic About Babies! with such classic chapter headings as 'F**king hell its a baby!' and 'Dante's 9 stages of labour'. 30% useful, 100% funny and after all the other dry, patronising and in some cases terrifyingly misogynistic baby books I have trawled through, it is definitely a winner.

Haha pious, that sounds more like my kind of book!

Oh Miriam Stoppard is dreadful. I made the mistake of picking up one of her baby books in waterstones after (disabled) dd had been born. There was a section on SN (good) but then a comment in the section along the lines of many parents do actually go onto love their disabled dc (bad). WTF?

My faves were the rough guide to pregnancy and the MN book.

I like 'your pregnancy week by week'. It doesn't dumb stuff down like the others.

Pious- just bought it on line. Can't wait!
Salty-that's a horrible thing to say. Presumably you've read the "Was geared up for Holland but ended up in Italy" analogy which is much more sensitive with regard to the period of adjustment that many face?