Epidural - should I have one?

[suburbanslob]

Honest answers ladies - not bothered about being 'Earth Mother' type. What are the drawbacks? Anyone had a natural/ish birth AND and epidural that can give both sides of the coin?

You said I was aggressive - I asked what your reasoning was on this.
I have a lot of experience working with people made to feel bad by silly twats that seem to think their point of view is the only 1 - so yes I feel strongly about this, Ive seen a lot of smugness, especially in real life.

None of this is "intimidating", that is obviously how you have reacted, it was not designed in anyway like that.

I specifically said if you can manage without - great, if not then thats fine to - yes its all about personal choice - where on earth do you get "If someone doesnt have an epidural their experience is less valid and I feel I cant talk about my experience in case I offend anyone" from that!!!

The example you gave about your friend is perfect actually - people shouldnt need to be "upset" because they had an epidural. Because it can then lead onto longer term problems and guilt is such an unneccessary emotion. I would be more upset that the medics had made me feel intimidated and would be making a complaint about that if it was that bad.

And no the "why some women make others feel bad for their "choices experiences etc if they want/need pain relief" - wasnt aimed at you, it was a general observation.

I had one, 20 hours into a 28 hour labour. Once they put me on a syntocinon drip I simply couldn't handle the pain, and was also exhausted. The epidural was fab (and I had gone into it all with a very "earth mother / yoga breathing will be all I need" outlook). I would definitely suggest considering an epidural if you need to be on a drip to speed up contractions.

I did end up with a c-section after a failed forceps delivery, but without going into too much detail it became apparent that DS was never going to have come out the 'normal' way - the epidural didn't really cause the interventions, it was more a case that the problems I was having caused a long, drawn out and painful augmented labour, and the epidural was the only thing that really helped me to cope with that.

If you write "no epidural" all over your birth plan, as someone suggested (and as I did first time round), you may find that the midwives try very hard to talk you out of one (they did with me, but when I wrote that I had no idea what I was in for, and had to beg and plead in labour to convince them I'd changed my mind). If you're not sure that that's what you want, it is safer to state that you are keeping an open mind re pain relief.

Newgolddream the point i was trying to make about my friend was that she shouldn't have felt forced in to an epi. She was made to feel unreasonable for wanting to try and labour without, and so her decision was taken away from her. No doubt if she had laboured to a point where she felt she needed an epidural she would have felt justified. But all she got was "have it now, you'll need it anyway...might not be able to have one later" she felt they were just waiting to say "i told you so"

I had snide comments from the nurse that stitched me up too. I was on too much of a high at the time to care mind.

When i chose not to have an epidural i didn't do it out of competitiveness, or earthmothery-ness, or because i wanted a medal. Yet these are comments constantly made about women who choose to labour without pain relief. I have never yet hear any woman refer to any other as a failure for opting for an epidural despite this being a frequent accusation.

I guess i'm just sad that i feel i can't talk about my choice without others perceiving it as a judgement of theirs (reminds me a lot of bf/ff threads really)

Is an epidural pethadine? recently found out I am allergic to that so would be handy to know. Hate the idea of the big back needle but hate the idea of being so exhausted that the baby stresses and need a C sec - really hope gas and air will be enough but ultimatly will do whatever is safest for baby x

candr i'm not really the best one to answer this but as i understand it pethadine is a pain killer that effects the whole body. An epidural is a pain killer applied to the nerves in your back so you can't feel pain (or in some cases any sensation ) from the waist down. Weather the substance they apply to the nerves is the same as or similar to pethadine, i don't know. Your midwife will be able to explain it all to you. I hope your labour goes beautifully.

My epidural didn't work

I had one, 20 hours into what would be a 26 hour labour.
Before the epidural, I had laboured on gas and air, and was still only 3cam dilated. DS was having oxygen issues so I was immobile anyway (constant internal monitoring) - so having the epidural made no difference to me being able to keep mobile etc.

It wasn't because of the pain, it was because of the exhaustion. I had had false contractions the night before labour started, so hadn't slept in what felt like forever. And my birth plan (all that keeping mobile, being in the water) had gone out of the window with the monitoring.

The epidural was good - I got it in a timely manner, it didn't hurt and neither did the catheter. However, the tube did slip and as a result I had a patch of pain on the left-hand side, which was really annoying. They couldn't fix that, apparently. But in the end it was useful, because it meant I could feel the contractions to push! And a patch of pain was much better than what I'd had previously. I managed to sleep, rest, and 6 hours later was 10cm dilated without realising it

I did have ventouse, but that was because of baby's breathing difficulties and the need to get him out fast, rather than the epi. And I walked out of the hospital 6 hours after DS' birth, feeling great. I would definitely have an epi again.

If you're not sure what you want: take the birth plan with you but keep it hidden until you see how things go. Have a chat with the MW/consultant BEFORE you get to the panicked stage - it's much more difficult to ignore a woman who is clearly compos mentis, than someone screaming in agony.

moonface - Im all about personal choice honestly, and whilst I wouldnt labour without pain relief if thats your choice then no-one else should make you feel bad for that choice. But generally its the other way around - people who dont use it making people who do feel bad. No-one should be "forced" into anything with their labour and if she has issues re that she probably needs to address them rather then the actual "Ive failed because I had an epidural" feeling.

And Im sure you didnt choose not to have an epidural out of this "competiveness" - thats ok - and of course you can talk about that! Its people who judge others for their choices - regardless of what those choices are - that I have an issue with, not whether you have an epidural or not!

Like the poster telling OP she can "manage" without an epidural - how in the name does she know this and why does it matter anyway whether she needs 1 or not? As a previous poster has said can you imagine what would happen in a group of people with this attitude if 1 person did indeed have an epidural.

candr - an epidural involves the injection of a drug into the epidural space in the spine, its has both an aneasthetic and analgesic ( pain relief) effect. Not sure what drugs they use mind you. Whereas pethidine is an intra - muscular injection of an opiod based drug for pain relief.

Im not promoting epidurals either lol Im promoting choice - because 18 years ago my first didnt whole heartedly work - it was the weirdest sensation because it worked on 1 half of my body and not the other! And when I got it topped up I should have had no sensation whatsoever - and yet I managed to walk to the toilet.

But fast forward to 2007 and my last DS the epidural there was much better, enough to take the edge off the pain but not enough to make me paralysed temporarily so therefore could feel a contraction. As it was that labour did end up in an emergency C section - but that wasnt due to the epidural - it was due to the fact he was 10 lbs, I was only 38 weeks and he was stuck somewhere in my pelvis, never to come out vaginally in a month of Sundays!!! They still had to use forceps during the section to get him out lol!!!