Epidural - should I have one?

[suburbanslob]

Honest answers ladies - not bothered about being 'Earth Mother' type. What are the drawbacks? Anyone had a natural/ish birth AND and epidural that can give both sides of the coin?

10% isn't that uncommon really. That means 1 in 10 will fail!

Thanks tunnocksteacake! I feel like I have so much to learn:)

Hi
Definitely think you should keep an open mind. I was so set against having an epidural as I thought it was cheating etc. Little did I know after 20 hours of strong contractions with baby in funny position meaning no break between contractions/ sciatica that I would pratically beg for one. I literally would not have coped without one as ended up in labour for over 30 hours and would have needed forceps( and therefore epidural) regarsless as ds was on the wonk.
I think being so set against it in the beginning made me feel like I had failed when I had to have one. Next time I will definitely be more relaxed in my outlook.

Epidurals increase the risk of some things - instrumental delivery being one of them but there is no evidence that they increase c-sections and they reduce certain risks e.g. of bladder problems in later life.

It should also be borne in mind that labours requiring serious pain relief are likely to be already more complicated than those that don't. I had an epidural because my labour required electronic monitoring because of foetal distress. There are huge confounding factors about requiring epidurals and correlation does not equal causation.

It's not a decision you make in advance. Make sure you know all the options.

I've had one with and one without epidural, would say the one without was a much easier birth overall, and the one with did have interventions but that was not just due to epidural but due to position of baby and induction too
See how you get on, like someone mentioned if you feel like you have had enough and they say you are 4cm then I would prob get one, but if you are already at 8cm or so then no point, so keep an open mind about it. But if you need one then get one, in some situations they help a lot

Booboobear your assertion that "you can do it without one" is incredibly simplistic. Every delivery is different, and by the same simplistic token, you can have root canal surgery without anaesthesia too, but why would you if you NEED it?
Hopefully the op will have a gentle, uncomplicated birth, but if things get tricky, will be sensible enough to keep an open mind.

I agree with all those who've said if you need it have one, if you don't, don't. I've had three babies and not one epidural but I was desperate for one last time (it was evening and obviously there were a lot of ladies worse off than I was as I kept being shunted back down the list).

I've had an open mind about it with all three. With #1 it never crossed my mind (incidentally, my biggest baby - a whisker off 9lb), with #2 by the time it got to that point I was incapable of articulate thought as I was off my face on pethidine (I will never have it again) or chucking my guts up onto MW's shoes. Like I said, with #3 I was begging for one at 3cm but he was OP and I had bad SPD and back problems and I was induced.

Go with the flow. I find it's best to put on your birth plan what you don't want rather than what you do ie I now put no peth, no episiotomy unless the baby's in danger. That's about it. It will happen how it happens whatever I think. Though I'm thinking about asking for the apparatus to be set up when they induce me this time

I had an epidural with my first (DS) and needed ventouse delivery but the main thing that stopped me having an epidural again with DD was my back has never been the same since ie v achy when standing for long periods of time etc...

Although admittedly it took ages for them to get needle in etc..

However the actual labour when I had the ep was great as I couldn't feel anything

I agree with what firawla says if things are becoming v painful and you are nearly there (happened with me for DD and I was 9cms) then its probably not worth it, but for my first labour with DS I was 4cms when i was given epidural.

With DD, I had TENS machine, birth pool, gas and air, and delivered out of pool. She was back-to-back, my contractions were intense and close together straight away (11 hour labour). I found it really painful as I have a tendency for lower back pain and this made it excruciating. The only relief was my husband massaging a point in my back for most of the labour and I screamed at him whenever he stopped. That, and being able to lean forwards to try and move her away from my back.

When DS, he was induced and back-to-back as well. They broke my waters and I then had a handful of irregular but very painful contractions. Then they said I'd have to have the drip and be laid on my back on the monitor the whole time. There was no way I would have got through my first labour laid on my back (I delivered on my side as my legs were too tired) so they gave me an epidural before putting me on the drip. My labour was so relaxing (bearing in mind I wasn't really worried as it wasn't my first labour). I didn't need any other intervention.

I kept saying the second time "Why didn't I have this the first time?" but I'm glad I've experienced it both ways IYKWIM.

Also, the second time, I knew I needed to conserve my energy to look after the baby and feed every 3 hours and remembered how exhausted I was the first time so I didn't want to use it all up beforehand!

boobearboo - with all due respect your assertion "You can do it without" is only your opinion - you have not met OP and you will not be experincing her labour so really you have no clue whether she can manage without 1 or not. Im sorry but its attitudes like this that contribute to the "Im cheating if I have an epidural" type of thinking and the following guilt that a lot of women feel if they dont do it without onew, come on - no-one gets a medal for having a "better" labour, its all stoked up by competetive rubbish that some woman spout, when all that matters is a healthy baby.

Im a Psychiatric Nurse who has worked with many woman who suffer excess guilt, depression and low self esteem because of issues exactly like this when there really is no need. Great if you can/want to manage without pain relief - but doesnt make it wrong to take every drug on the market!!

Ive had 3 epidurals and I wouldnt have been without them, let me tell you, the 1 I had with DS3 whos 3 compared to DS1 whos 18 was nowadays you can still feel to push so therefore less likely to need other interventions.

Whats the big deal and overall general smugness some women seem to have about giving birth without drugs, keep an open mind OP and see how it goes.

Newgolddream, your last sentence seemed quite aggressive to me.

I haven't perceived any smugness (or competitiveness that i think another poster mentioned). Just women talking about their experiences.

Good post Newgolddream

Sorry Moonface, but Boobearboo's post about her other NCT peers comes off as awfully smug. Imagine being in her NCT group, having had a less than perfect birth that for whatever reason didn't go to plan, and included an epidural, and hearing her say "you can do it without" and insinuating that those who DID have epidurals were in some way complicit in their birth complications? How insensitive and ill informed.

well, I had one with both my DC.

I was lucky in that I found the first 8cm of dilation very doable (the first 5 cm happened without me noticing) but the last 2 hours of labour I was very glad to have the epidural. I could still "feel" everything, but without the pain. As a result I had very relaxed births, with no (further) intervention.

The main thing for me was knowing that if the pain would get really bad, I could have an epidural. This meant I went into the hospital very relaxed, thinking: "If it gets too much, I'll get pain relief". This, IMHO is a HUGE advantage, as it takes the edge of anxiety over labour. I walked (!) to hospital, all chatty, as a result

True it wasn't very sensative BagofHolly.

But I can understand how she links the epidual with the outcomes as it does tally with the stats (as I understand them)...though obv you can NEVER extrapolate from stats to the individual...

I think a bit more sensatitivity all round might be a good thing.

We all do what we want or need for our own reasons. It is never a reflection on others.

I had an epidural, and I did end up with forceps, but it was a really long labour anyway and the consultant's view was that we both just got completely exhausted after 40 hours. Don't worry about the needle and the numbness - I was a bit worried about those, but it's fine. You can't feel anything when they put it in, and you can still sense your legs, which made it better for me.
It's heresy to say it on here, but for us, forceps and an episiotomy were not a big deal. Obviously there are risks involved, but the professionals do it day in day out, and really know what they are doing. I was a bit sore afterwards, but the wound healed really well, and my baby was absolutely fine.
I would say if you want one, don't hesitate. All this bollocks about "cheating" etc is just that, bollocks! It's not a competition. I bet I'll have one again, if I have another baby.

Not that I have any experience in labouring (although hopefully I will be slightly wiser in about 6 more weeks ), but it makes me slightly irritated that now that we have so many different forms of pain relied available, women are still expected to go through this "magical experience" au naturelle. Somehow I'm sure if it were men giving birth, everyone would have a C-section.. Or like my mom says, we would all have become extinct already a long time ago...

I'm not very frightened by the prospect of having to give birth, but I nevertheless definitely intend to go through the day with as little pain as possible without having to go through a major operation and to me the only possible option is an epidural..

Olivetti same here forceps and epi was not really a big deal for me,I was just releaved that they managed to get him out with that otherwise would have had to have a c section which I think would have been a worse outcome personally

moonface - my last sentence was "Whats the big deal and overall general smugness some women seem to have about giving birth without drugs, keep an open mind OP and see how it goes." - I really fail to see whats agrressive about that adn i would like you to explain your reasoning to me?

My comment re smugness does not just refer to this thread but lots more when issues re pain relief for labour arise plus in real life to. Not only are certain women smug it gets worse because they look down on women who have used pain relief, in this example epidurals, because they didnt need it. Every woman and every labour is different, and even if they werent I really dont get the "you can manage without pain relief" mantra that some women have towards others - its these attitudes that are aggressive towards other women, not me thanks.

Have you sat with a woman who is nearly suicidal, wont have sex with her partner because she feels shes "failed" as a woman - simply for requiring intervention in her labour - because of these attitudes? I have and its heartbreaking in some cases. No-one "fails" for needing pain relief, its not a contest as I said.

As you yourself said "We all do what we want or need for our own reasons. It is never a reflection on others" - yes

I totally agree - so why do some women feel the need to be smug and make others feel bad about their choices, experiences etc then if they do need/want pain relief I wonder.

I had gas and air first time round, by the time I wanted an epidural it was too late. Second time round I had an epidural because I was having twins and chances of a cs are higher then anyway. It was brilliant, I felt pressure when I was having a contraction so knew when to push. Twin 2 was breech and I had to lay very still while they pulled him out, something I could never have done without one. Now I'm due in 4 weeks and have no plans whatsoever. I'm just going to see how things go and will see at the time. I certainly will not feel bad if I have an epidural again. Also going back to gas and air, this made me really sick and I didn't like the strange feeling it gave me either, so would never touch the stuff again. But other women really benefit from it, just goes to show how differently we all cope.

Haven't read the other replies (have learned from experience on these threads )

I knew I wanted one from the go get. I had one. It made an extremely unpleasant experience totally relaxing and bearable and I would have one again in a nanosecond. Had the epidural (a mobile one) at 7am, dd born at 9am, no pain, no hassle. Was up and walking around normally 20 minutes after she was born. No side effects.

I've just read Nancy10's post up there (it's the only one I can see) and agree with her. Don't say you won't have one, don't say you will. See how it goes.

The only people who will ever care about how you give birth are the people who did it differently.......

OP keep an open mind and see how you feel.

I can give both sides of the coin!. I had to be induced with dd (so had synto drip which makes contractions more intense in order to speed things up). I did have an epidural and didnt require any intervention. Labour was so much calmer once I had it, practically painfree, pushed her out quite quickly and without any fuss. When I look back, I recall her birth as being quite calm and (again) pain free.

With ds, there was meconium in my waters when they broke at home. Had to have synto drip once again to speed things up (as there was a risk of inhalation), absolutely no pain relief (as I was told it would slow things down and we needed to get ds out). Very painful, pushed him out quite quickly too and no intervention needed. When I look back, I think "Fucking hell!!!! OOOOOOOUUUUCCH"

Given the choice? would 100% opt for painfree birth - would hope to have epidural for birth of this baby if possible. Dont see the point in being in agony when its not necessary. See birth/ pregnancy very much as a means to an end - a way of getting my baby here. Number 1 priority for me is a healthy baby (and my own health) and have no interest in a "natural or magical experience" that some people desire so much. Its very personal really, do what suits you.

I had a very similar experience to Bucharest. I had decided I wanted an epidural (in Belgium, there's no halfway house, it's either epi or nothing). Had a mobile one, could feel the contractions, but no pain, DS was out in two and a half hours. I tore, but no intervention was needed.

Keep an open mind and see how it goes - you will know what's best for you.

I had it with both dc's births- no complications whatsoever, pushed both babies out in under 20 minutes.

It's great imo.

off topic...Newgolddream it was the "whats the big deal and general overall smugness" bit that i found intimidating. That makes me feel like my pov... someone who didn't want and didn't have an epidural, is less valid that those who did. Like i shouldn't talk about my experience in case i offend someone. As i said previously i haven't seen any smugness or anyone making a "big deal" about their choices on this thread (insensitivity, yes). I'm refering only to this thread as it's the only shared refrance we have. (I don't normally hang around in this neck of the woods so wouldn't be aware of smugness on others either)

While we're on the subject of aggression, the phrases "i would like you to explain your reasoning to me" and "have you sat with a suicidal woman..." are, to my mind, also somewhat accusatory and intimidating. Maybe you didn't mean them to come across in that way, but the internet is a blunt tool, and what really matters in communication is the message recieved, rather than how we think we sound. I'm not saying this to have a go but because i think it's really important that we all feel comfortable to share our experiences so others can learn from them.

In answer to your question i haven't spoken to anyone who was nearly suicidal due to their labour experience, no. I'm sure your work provides you with lots of experience of that. But i have spoken to someone who was very upset that she had had an epidural. She felt she would have wanted to do it without, and that she could have done so had she been better supported. The medics made her feel she was mad to consider trying to go without and she was too intimidated to argue.

You ask why some women make others feel bad for thier "choices experiences etc if they want/need pain relief"...i'm not sure weather this was aimed at me but i can't help but think we should be asking "why aren't all women supported to make the pain relief choice that's right for them?"