Physical reaction when I think about telling people

[KatieWatie]

I will be 12 weeks tomorrow and having my scan next Wednesday. I was going to wait til after the scan to tell family, boss etc., but for various reasons am going to have to tell my parents tomorrow.

Everytime I think about doing it my heart and my stomach physically lurch. It's like my heart is missing a beat. I know this sounds really dramatic! It should be such a nice thing to tell people and my parents will be over the moon I know it, but it's just such an "un-me" thing to do and be, and I hate the thought of fuss and hugs, and I'm just dreading it in many ways! My parents have a way of making me feel about 16 which is more my problem than theirs.

I'm a VERY anxious person anyway - I feel like I should be on Kalms for the duration of my pregnancy or something...

Anyone else get this or am I totally abnormal?

I felt/feel exactly the same!! Didn't tell any family until 13 weeks and have only just told my employers today at 16 weeks and fretted about both. They've all turned out to be much nicer experiences than I feared though so maybe you'll surprise yourself. Good luck!

I was dreading telling everyone. It made my palms sweaty and I got really wound up. An odd reaction considering I'm married and settled but I felt like I was a teenager and people were going to disaprove haha.

I managed to get out of telling most people. I got my husband to do the proud dad thing and tell people while I just sat there and smiled. It worked well and my family really didn't mind that it wasn't me telling them because me and hubby come as a pair.

Hope that helps.

I never tell anyone much - I just wait until it's obvious (either by bump or baby appearing). We tell the dc, dh tells his parents, my mum figures it out pretty quickly (off alcohol & puking regularly) and that's it. I hate the fuss people make about pregnancy.

I'm exactly the same. I'm in the process of telling people since yesterday and it's doing my head in. To the point where last night I broke down crying on the bus on the way to the pub (where I was going to announce it some of my closest friends) because I couldn't handle it. My DH is very shy and he think it'd be a good idea not to tell anyone until October when the baby is due. But, you know, in the end it's all lovely because everyone reacts in a way that makes you glad you told them! So it all works out.

when I was pg with ds I was exactly the same. It's totally normal. It's a huge undertaking really. It took me 18 months to get pg with ds and when I finally was my stomach leapt out of my mouth every time I thought about it, which was ridiculous because it's what I'd wanted all along. But when you're ttc you think so much about conceiving, that when you actually do it actually comes as quite a shock.

Not half as much as a shock as when you see AN ACTUAL PERSON INSIDE YOU when you have your scan :o Bloody amazing, no bump, no real signs of being pg, but an actual fully formed person is inside you :o

Enjoy, you will have many many moments of "oh my God" over the next few months, but you will be fine. It's a big change in anyone's life, it's totally normal to feel anxious about it.

I'm 8 months pregnant and there are still some people who probably don't know I'm pregnant (these are people who haven't seen me lately)

I just find it a really odd thing to introduce into a conversation, I'm fine talking about it once they know though.

Yep, another one exactly the same here.

I'd insisted for years that I didn't want children - at first it was true then it was to hide the fact we were trying & it didn't seem to be happening.

When I told my parents in Nov just after 12 week scan my mum was initially a bit cool & asked if I was happy. Once she knew it was planned & I was OK she's been so excited since. My dad just wanted to know who was going to drink all the Bailey's he'd just bought for Xmas

With other family members we just showed them scan pics, & let them be the first to say something .

Either way once the intial words are out of your mouth - it takes seconds - the rest is a fantastic whirlwind!

Good luck, x

I was exactly the same. I waited until it came out in a team meeting at work - when I wasn't there.
In fact, it only came out then because my boss told a colleague who is off sick (with my permission), who then told a colleague who visited her - she then emailed me asking if it was true - I then let her do the rest!

In fact, a lot of people in work still don't know, and I have been asked a number of times if I will be doing a triathlon in June (i did it last year with a work team) to which I have replied - "no I will be on mat leave" !!!

We told our parents when we found out - but only because mine knew we had issues trying.

As for other family members, I sent them a text saying "Baby X is due 25th June"! Then got lots of phone calls!

I also stayed in the kitchen when hubby first told our friends!!!

It does get easier, but like others, I felt like a teenager! I am happily married and had been trying for 16 months - but still told work it was a 'pleasant surprise' (it was as we had been trying for 16 months, but not what they thought)!!!

I've had a he'll of a ride getting to here (23 weeks) third pregnancy in 18 months. And I decided to only tell the people who I wouldn't want to find out through the grapevine. Parents etc... But everyone else can look and wonder and pg when a baby appears in July it will be obvious!! The thought of saying "were having a baby" makes me feel sick!!

Thanks all, it's good to know I'm not alone. I feel physically sick when I think about telling people. It's my first, I'm 33 and been married for 4 years, we're totally sorted with the house and careers, but I feel like a silly teen who's been 'caught out'. I do still feel like I'm about 15 inside so maybe that's why

I'm just dreading every aspect of telling people. I'm terrified in particular of my dad's reaction because he can be 'immature', and I remember before I started my periods he would regail me with horror stories of how awful it would be (thinking he's being funny) - if he does the same with this regarding the birth I will be so upset because I am scared enough about childbirth and down-below-doings as it is. I still haven't really got over the period thing! I think my mum will be great and really supportive once I've actually come out and said it (already asked DH to do it and he refuses!).

Also to my parents it will be confirmation that I am actually doing the deed, which they obviously know anyway but I think it will be weird for them to have proof.

I'm just bricking it, generally.

I know exactly where you're coming from. I can't handle the fuss and the comments. The "Congratulations" make me squirm, and the comments about childbirth/sleep/the future really freak me out. Its got to such a state where I've been signed off work with anxiety

Its not all to do with the pregnancy, and please believe me, I'm chuffed to bits and so is OH, its just all been a huge shock (despite it being completely planned).

I sat on the stairs yesterday after hearing the news that a good friend had had her little girl, and bawled my eyes out. I was so happy for her, and just couldn't get my head around it possibly being me in a few months, if we make it. I have a horrible feeling I may be teetering on the edge of pre-natal depression

Big hugs Daisy and all other fellow worriers xxx I think [hope!] it's normal to worry about all sorts of pg-related stuff. "One day at a time" is the mantra in our household currently

Daisy can you go back to your GP or midwife and ask for some support? Or alternatively I've seen suggested on here that people can work with a doula from early pg onwards (not just for the birth) to have a non-judgemental supportive person to help them through the scary times. Worth a thought?

Sorry for the thread jijack Katie. I hope you're feel ing a bit reassured? If it helps, I told my family by showing them the scan pic - that way I didn't actually have to say anything. Somehow finding and saying the words seem the hardest bit.

I think it's weird telling people too - how do you bring it into a conversation?
I'm not doign the wait till 12 week scan thing, though, couldn't keep it in that long!

Wombat - I have no scan pic yet otherwise I'd have definitely done that!! I bought a knitting magazine this week that has a free "Knitting for Baby" book with it. I've wrapped up the free book and going to give it to my mum when she arrives at my house tomorrow (making sure my dad is in the room with her). Bit of a cop-out maybe but at least this way I don't have to say the dreaded words "I'm pregnant".

Only flaw in my plan is that for a very bright woman, my mum has no common sense (like mother like daughter ) and she might just look at me like "what? I don't get it?" and then I'll have to say the words anyway!

Might: "You're going to be a granny." Roll off the tongue a bit more easily than "I'm pregnant"?

To be honest, I haven't said that to anyone I don't think. I've alluded to it, or said "We're expecting a new addition to the family" or "We're having a baby". Anything other than use the 'p' word

i just want to say "I got a BFP" like i did on here, and everyone understand.

it would be so much easier.

Wombat - or I could go with "you've finally worn me down - congratualations grandma and grandad" with a withering smile :D

Haha, I like that one Katie make it their fault

Sorry to hijack things earlier, I'll be ok, and probably completely over reacting. I did use the P word to my mum, but wimped out at work, and just emailed my friends (I let them do the gossip spreading!)

When I told some friends, they were all looking at some photos of one of our friends' new nephew and cooing and ahhing over the pictures, so I just plopped down one of my scan photos. They picked it up and for a second or so the penny didn't drop... Another friend, I didn't even need to tell her, we were getting ready for a night out and they were just about to book a cab to take us in to town when dh said "oh don't worry, headfairy will drive". She immediately said "Oh my God, congratulations!"

does that mean you're friend thinks you drink rather a lot, heady?

hahaha I know, it was so bloody unusual!

Can I join you ladies on this list? :) Somehow it's easy talking about it on Mumsnet not so much in real life - I'm only just 10 weeks so waiting officially for my 12wk scan but it's an excuse really ;)

I've told a few close friends and work (I took time off etc so had to explain why) but am sort of planning to tell people when I see them and if they notice/ask ;)

In my case I think this anxiety comes partly because of my mc in Nov and having gotten pregnant so quickly after it just hasn't sunk, I keep thinking it's going to all "disappear" and sort of feel like I shouldn't be telling anyone ....

I can totally relate to this. 17 weeks with #1 and have not yet said the 'P' word either! It just makes me feel uncomfortable. Once people know, even talking about it makes me feel a little strange?!?!? I remember before I was pg, I would often look at mothers or 'mothers to be' and think I hope I don't end up like that... you know one of those women that is no longer capable of holding an adult conversation, a conversation that isn't all about babies! Now I think, I am a little too conscious of this! How silly the things we pre-occupy ourselves with hey!

Good luck with your big 'reveal' KatieWatie and to all the other girlies yet to reveal their special news :-)

Im only 6 weeks but dreading telling my parents, I only told them i was seeing my bf a month or so ago so and to put it bluntly my mam is going to go nuts. Hopefully leaving it as long as poss as otherwise there will be pressure not to continue with pregnancy. I feel ill at thought of telling them and cant even begin to think of how to do it. Think wussing out and getting my sister to do it is a contender though :/