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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Just found out that I am having a third boy

82 replies

TallulahDoesTheHula · 04/03/2011 14:28

Had scan this morning and its a boy.
This pregnancy has been so different to the other two that if I had had to guess I would have said it was a girl.
Every single person I know has said that they are positive I am having a girl this time.
DH very much wanted a girl. he loves our boys to bits but he would also love to have a daughter and this will be our last child.
SO many people have said to me things like 'well fingers crossed its a girl this time' even though I have always said that I will be happy with either sex.

Now I know its a boy I feel really flat. I know DH is disappointed. He barely said a word after the scan and has gone to work now.
I have not told anyone yet and I'm not excited to at all as I feel that no one will be happpy about it or excited and that it will seem like disappointing news to them.
I know that people will say things like 'oh nevermind' etc (especially people like my Nan who always says silly things) and I am not looking forward to it at all.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

grumblinalong · 04/03/2011 16:46

Another one here with two boys, currently 24 weeks with a ? no3. I keep getting insensitive comments from randoms about it being a girl but the further along I get the more determined I am it SHOULD be a boy. I just can't imagine a little girl fitting in. DS1(7) and DS2(3) are currently destroying kicking a football around my hallway and are making loads of noise. I can't imagine bringing a girl into the mix. I'm not at all girly myself.

Have you dug out your newborn sleepsuits/vests etc yet? Get them out and you'll remember that newborn babies are lovely whatever genitals they have and proudly survey all the £££ you'll be saving on boys clothes.And my next child is going to be called Arthur come what may so better not be a girl

Perpetuallypregnant · 04/03/2011 16:56

Aww lovely, sorry you feel a bit flat. If it's any consolation I am expecting girl number 4 although I do have a teenage ds, and I felt a bit flat after my scan even though I was expecting it.

Other people were a bit 'oh never mind' - maybe that's why I felt a bit flat...

I'm 31 weeks now and over the moon. My 3 youngest will be like a little tribe - I can't wait to see how they get on with each other. Xxx

ajandjjmum · 04/03/2011 17:02

Congrats - I've got a girl going on a free transfer at the moment, if you're interested!!! Not really - love her to bits - but she drives me loopy at times.

Flisspaps · 04/03/2011 17:14

Congratulations

2and1ontheway · 04/03/2011 17:26

People say silly things whatever - I have a girl and a boy and am 31 weeks pregnant with a second boy - a couple of people did ask me why I am having another when I already have "one of each"! The concept of wanting a 3rd child, rather than some kind of "set" is not obvious to everyone! If you already have "one of each" it seems some people assume a 3rd must be an accident!
When I told my mother my DC2 was a boy, after the scan, she said "That'll take us a bit of getting used to" - what's that supposed to mean?! She has 3 daughters. She also has a gift for saying really stupid things when told any news, to the point where I hate telling her anything tbh!

Congratulations on your 3 boys - of course your own feelings are nothing to be ashamed of but other people's comments are so often unhelpful whatever!

Ps. My daughter is far more "work" than my son, for all he can be rather a wild thing and she can be very grown up and helpful and loving, she also requires a whole lot more attention because she just hates to be alone in a room or not to be interacting with somebody for even a waking second, and is a lot more emotionally demanding!

MrsVidic · 04/03/2011 17:54

Just think how close your boys will be! Plus you get to be mil! And we all know how much boys adore their mums x how exciting!

frankie3 · 04/03/2011 18:04

I can understand why you feel flat at the moment. I have 2 DS's and will not have any more children, So I was sad at the thought of never having a daughter. Even though I love my DS's incredibly, I felt a little pang of jealousy when my SIL's went on to have "one of each". But I can honestly say that that feeling has completely gone now and I love having my 2 DS's. Your DH will also get used to it, and will spend more time with his DCs as if you had a DD you would probably find that you would spend more time with her alone while your DH is playing football with your DS's.

I have totally got used to having 2 boys and when I spend any time with my nieces I enjoy their company but am pleased to get back to my boys!

hails35 · 04/03/2011 18:40

I am just overdue with my 3rd and already have 2 boys. I didn't find out what we're having (partly because of the surprise element and partly because it doesn't matter to me), but I feel there will be a lot of disappointed people if it's another boy - so I sort of know how you feel. I am convinced it's another boy and tbh have no preferences and my DH said last night that he hopes it's another boy!! But, my parents and my sister in particular I know will be gutted with another boy.
I just think that either way the dynamics of 3 boys will be fab just as the dynamics of a baby sister with 2 older brothers will be fab.

I hope you soon get used to the idea and enjoy your new baby. xx

SnackTime · 04/03/2011 18:44

Congratulations! Go buy or make some lovely little thing for your baby - just to get you in the mood for a brand new boy. He's going to be completely unlike the others!

MooMooFarm · 04/03/2011 18:49

I can understand why you feel that way - you've been kind of 'building yourself up' to a girl for weeks by the sounds of it. I would give yourself a while to get used to the idea and don't beat yourself up for how you feel; I would imagine it's not the real little boy you're disappointed about; more the 'loss' of the imaginary little girl?

You know when he's born you will love him to bits. You've got two lovely boys already, and you're getting another lovely boy soon. I bet once you've got over the 'shock' if that's the right word, you will be fine. Best of luck And tell anyone else who has a problem with it to feck off!

nappydaysagain · 04/03/2011 18:51

Another one with 3 boys here and honestly it's great. I deliberately didn't find out what I was having with DS3 so people could get their silly comments out of the way whilst I was pregnant.

When I gave birth to DS3 I got such an overwhelming rush of love (it brings a lump in my throat to even think about it). I had a silly worry when I was pregnant that what if I would be disappointed with a 3rd boy, even though I told everyone I didn't mind what we had and I can honestly say I love him so much and couldn't possibly feel any disappointment that he wasn't a girl.

My boys are 9, 7 and 9 months.

captainbarnacle · 04/03/2011 19:55

Another one with 2 DS and pg with a 3rd (unknown as yet). My scan is in 2.5w and although I hope to find out, I'm not sure I'm going to tell anyone!

I am trying to convince myself it is a boy... but I find myself looking at little girls and wondering what my little girl would look like. It will be like a bereavement if it is a boy, I know. Even though I adore boys!

You're right about people making comments - if it's a girl then everyone I tell will just be so pleased. If it's a boy they'll all make stupid comments about 'next time' or such like and I will want to punch something.

bamboostalks · 04/03/2011 20:03

I can assure captainbarnacle that it will not be like a bereavement if you find out you are having a another boy.

I hope you never have to experience the bereavement of your child to realise the utter insensitivity and idiocy of that statement.

Haribojoe · 04/03/2011 20:13

During my third pregnancy everybody was convinced I was having a girl, to the extent that people were buying pink outfits as presents (we didn't find out the sex).

Then in September we welcomed our third DS into the world.

Having 3 boys is wonderful and although I didn't feel any disappointment I can imagine it might have been different if I had found out at a scan rather than in that wonderful moment as your baby is given to you.

I'll admit I'd imagined myself with a girl but actually I love having a tribe of boys, they're so loving and full of fun I just can't imagine it any other way now.

Try not to worry about what others will say (my Nan's response when told DS3 had been born was oh, bet she's disappointed) I think it's understandable to feel like this but before long you'll be getting excited about meeting your lovely new son!

Congratulations and welcome to the all boys club

Northernrose · 04/03/2011 21:18

Huge congratulations...3 boys will be lovely. People are so insensitive aren't they! We think we are expecting dd2 (quite a modest wee thing at the scan, but sonographer thought probably a girl!) and we have decided both times not to tell anyone the gender, but I think pretty much everyone has said 'oh you'll be hoping for a boy!' altogether not true, would love either, and it's so hurtful! I am the youngest of 4 and have 3 older brothers and my mum says everyone used to say to her 'oh you'll be hoping for a girl' and she would say no actually, I'm hoping for another boy (because she was!!)

As others have said, totally understandable that you and dh would be a bit disappointed, but just give yourselves time, buy something nice and new for ds3, and you'll just adore him once he's in your arms all the best

captainbarnacle · 04/03/2011 21:24

I hope you never have to experience the bereavement of your child to realise the utter insensitivity and idiocy of that statement

Who says I have not experienced a child's bereavement??

bamboostalks · 04/03/2011 21:27

You have not experienced your child's bereavement if you can compare it to having another boy.

captainbarnacle · 04/03/2011 21:29

I am not even going to go there in your sort of competition of who has suffered the most grief. What are you trying to achieve? I hope you have enough oxygen way up there.

thisisyesterday · 04/03/2011 21:33

i have to agree with bamboo here. comparing not having a girl to what it must be like to have your baby die is fairly crass and insensitive.

knittymum · 04/03/2011 21:35

Congratulations! I love my two boys to bits and pieces, and they're so loving. I never saw myself with sons before I had children, I could only imagine a daughter. And now I'm nearly 7 weeks with number 3. My DH and mum have both quite openly said that they'd like it to be a girl. And I know DH's family would like a girl as there are none - just hordes of boys! I'm fairly easy either way, and I can't help thinking like I'm jinxing something if I fixate on whether it's a boy or a girl rather than whether it's healthy. Although I seem to have the tiniest round podge (underneath the early pregnancy bloating!) so maybe there'll be more than one to worry about!

captainbarnacle · 04/03/2011 21:39

You have a narrow sense of the word bereavement then. I am sure you can grieve for things you haven't had. People grieve for popstars who die as well as parents and children but of course to make a comparison would be unfair. It's still the word which best fits? Please offer an alternative word for those parents I read about with 5 boys who are so desperate for a little girl they cry buckets at the 20w scan? Obviously that's not going to be me, but I don't think you should dismiss those women as being crass in what I would call their 'grief' for the little girl they are never going to have?

kalo12 · 04/03/2011 21:39

i am expecting my second boy, this will also be my last child. i desperately wanted a girl - even first time round. that is the reason i wanted to find out the sex, so that i would have time to get usedd to it.

i felt flat and disappointed at first so i completely understand how you feel. but after about a week i just started to look forward to it. You can't choose and that's life and I'm sure in a few days you will come to terms with it and be able to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
I don't like any boys names, and i love all those boden girls clothes but oh well, what can you do?

My sis has three boys and they are all very different.

Hattie05 · 04/03/2011 21:46

Hi i have 3 girls and i hated the comments from people so i so understand your concerns. If i could go back i think i'd say i don't know the gender.

I had total strangers ask (and i'd proudly tell them it was a 3rd girl) and they'd reply 'oh what a shame!' no not a shame at all, i love my 3 daughters than you very much!

It carries on, as we now are expecting no. 4 who is a boy and everyone asks and then says - oh good you can stop there then.

Do they seriously think we are that shallow to only be having a baby for the hope of a particular gender?

I'd definitely make a decision now while you can to pretend you don't know the gender - certainly to those not close to you.

Enjoy your 3 boys!

Becaroooo · 04/03/2011 21:48

Well, I am excited for you!

Congratulations!

Chynah · 04/03/2011 21:50

I wanted 2 boys (as did DH) - but #2 was a girl and I was very disappointed when the CVS revealed this. However she is now a year old and totally fits our family unit and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

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