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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

If one more person tells me I know nothing about being tired until....

78 replies

BlingLoving · 28/02/2011 12:41

after the baby arrives, I think I will lean over, spit in their face, kick them between the legs and walk away.

That or start screaming like a crazy woman, "I don't give a flying F%%% about how tired you think I will be. At least then I might get some understanding and sympathy and I'll certainly get some help from DH, from DM, from friends etc. Because you know what, I already get up every morning at 6am and that's after waking up at least once every 90 minutes all night and having to get up. And you know what, when I get up at 6 I don't get to stumble around for a bit but have to get dressed, and showered, and make myself look good for the City and then schlepp into the City where I have to perform at peak for 12 hours every day in order to earn the money that DH and I live on before staggering home. So butt out with your cute little suggestions that I should start getting used to waking up early now because just because you haven't had a job since a year before you got pregnant because your DH is a rich banker and can support you, does not mean that the rest of us have that pre-baby luxury."

Rant over.

Deep breath.

Sorry. I am just losing the will to live here today and the "helpful" message from someone suggesting that I'd have to "get used" to waking up early after very little sleep has pushed me over the edge.

OP posts:

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MogadoredMemoo · 28/02/2011 12:42

Yeah but really you have no idea what tired is until you have a baby.

buttonmoon78 · 28/02/2011 12:44

and breathe...

Of course, you know it will only get worse? Once baby's here you won't know what tiredness is until they're teething through the night, or having their first sickness bug or even until you're waiting up until they arrive home from their night time wanderings as a teenager...

You will never be allowed sympathy. Except on here. In certain circumstances only though.

And don't forget - you only have yourself to blame!

fizzyliftinggas · 28/02/2011 12:46

How pregnant are you, because I have to tell you, I think I was (with DS) and am now with twins, more tired than I ever was when DS was first born, he was admittedly a good sleeper.... cue a twin mother saying yeah well get used to it, you will be exhausted with twins! I don't dispute it!

Some people have that 'I've had a it so much worse than you' mentality.
I think your initial reaction is justified! ha ha!!

or even

Bunbaker · 28/02/2011 12:47

Unfortunately it is true. I used to think that I got tired working long hours in a stressful job, but after DD was born I discovered what real tiredness was. DD would breastfeed until the early hours every night and I would be crying from lack of sleep.

ShowOfHands · 28/02/2011 12:48

I think people are just trying to talk to you. It is an arse about face form of sympathy. But obviously that is wrong of them, tp talk to you.

babybumpx · 28/02/2011 12:48

aw I know with my first baby....I had alot of energy and he was a very content baby :) I breastfed so that was every two hours....I felt fine, I took some tablets that my mother in law gave me which helped a great deal.

Dont let it get you down when people say that, everyone is different and as long as you follow a good diet and take your vitamins along with support from your partner and family, you will be fine :) I am extremely tired too and im only working part time so goodness knows how you feel.

I think your doing extremely well considering you are pregnant and your working all those hours! I know I couldnt do it at this present moment, so well done.

thingumybob · 28/02/2011 12:50

Well I'm on pg no3 now, and for me the sheer exhaustion I get when pg is like nothing on earth. And yes it is very tiring looking after a demanding newborn but I personally find it easier than being pg. So from me, take it as easy as you can, and cut yourself some slack.

I don't think everyone is affected in the same way, just like some feel more sick than others, some feel more tired. I've never suffered too badly with sickness. Never actually been sick with MS. But the tiredness is a killer.

Cyclebump · 28/02/2011 12:53

I feel your pain BlingLoving!

Its like you're not allowed to squeak when you're pg 'because it'll only get worse'.

Yes, I'm sure it probably is worse for most people, but I feel like sh*t right now, so sod off or give me some sympathy!!!!!!

I too have felt like this...

wigglesrock · 28/02/2011 12:54

Pregnancy is much more tiring than the first few weeks after birth especially if its your first. Honestly, sleep when they sleep, which they do for most of the day, note I'm not saying night Now come and talk to me about tiredness, with 2 under 5s and a 13 day old. Ps The babys the easy one, wouldn't change it for the world. Good luck.

Original poster

BlingLoving · 28/02/2011 13:00

thank you all.
moga and button don't take this personally but... imagine me doing all those things I said I would in my OP!

It's not that I dispute that I might be more tired etc, it's just that right now, getting up 4 times a night and then for good at 6 am is pretty much what I do anyway, so I'm struggling to see how it can be that much worse than my current life.

OP posts:

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 28/02/2011 13:01

I agree with thing.
I was exhausted being pregnant with DD2. It was much more easier on my body to have her out and going through the sleepless night.
Nobody is the same and people who thing they know everything are a nuisance.

CointreauVersial · 28/02/2011 13:03

I think the message is.....

you're tired now (clearly).....

you'll be tired for the next eighteen years.....

HTH

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/02/2011 13:04

I am 36 weeks and so knackered I couldn't get out of bed this am to take DS to school and DH had to do it

The sleep you are getting at this stage is not quality sleep as you can't turn over properly, heartburn etc - I very rarely wake up feeling fresh, even if have gone to bed early

eastegg · 28/02/2011 13:10

I also didn't actually find it that tiring when DS was little. Tiring, yes, but I don't recall exhaustion. These babies are not all the same. People tend to want to 'share their experiences' which sometimes translates as wanting to show that they know more than you.

DS has a cousin who is 6 months older, and the whole time since being PG I've had 'just you wait until x' and 'just you wait until y' from the ILs. It's effing annoying. So I sympathise.

speffles · 28/02/2011 13:14

I found the first 16/17 weeks of pregnancy completely exhausting. It was like being ill for three months. I really can't understand how some people continue to have a normal life in early pregnancy. I'm only just getting myself back again -that second trimester boost everyone talks about certainly took it's time.

If I had had to listen to people tell how much worse it wil be afterwards I would have lost my rag. Or at least wimpered pathetically - not sure I could have managed a full on rant.

buttonmoon78 · 28/02/2011 13:14

Oh heck - I've done it again. I was trying to support you! (And prepare you for this being your life now - whatever you do, someone else will have done before and it's always worse, more painful etc for them)

I'm currently pg with #4. I don't have a full time high powered job and I take my hat off to you. I do have other things which knacker me just as much though(I suspect).

Personally, I find pg v tiring. The last one was sheer hell and I'm hoping it won't happen again. There are moments in the newborn stage when you can't even cry as you're too tired but generally you get more help then so it's bearable IYSWIM?

Sorry it came across wrong!

MogadoredMemoo · 28/02/2011 13:16

Op, I was actually joking! and not at all serious.

MogadoredMemoo · 28/02/2011 13:16

Although with 3 kids I am definitely more tired now then when I was pregnant with number 1

Original poster

BlingLoving · 28/02/2011 13:19

button and moga I didn't mean to have a go - I was also being tongue in cheek a bit. I know you were being helpful!

Sadly, I am just starting third trimester and never got the second trimester energy boost. it was a complete fallacy in my case. The only slight difference was that if I had to stay awake past 10pm, I could. Just about. But I paid for it the next day.

OP posts:

Original poster

BlingLoving · 28/02/2011 13:20

Oh, and Moga - that I can understand ito second/subsequent pregnancies. At least when I get home, shattered, DH can make me dinner, I can watch an hour of TV and then fall into bed. I imagine being pregnant and living my life, combined with a toddler/s is infinitely worse!

OP posts:

Ginfox · 28/02/2011 13:21

Feeling your pain Bling. Am utterly sick of hearing how much harder life is going to be - as if I'd assumed that it was going to be a doddle. And having done overnight on-call on a regular basis for the last 13 years of my life, I have a rough idea what disturbed sleep feels like.

I think people just can't help scrutinising preggos. If I have to examine a baby at work - frequent occurence - I get helpful comments like "you'll be getting one of those soon". Oh really? And what I eat is suddenly up for debate. I honestly think I could've eaten cakes all day every day without exciting comment, but now my diet is up for public debate.

Ahhh that feels soo much better. Thanks laydeez.

MogadoredMemoo · 28/02/2011 13:22

I hated every minute of being pregnant, although I love the end result, so do feel for you!

plasticface · 28/02/2011 13:22

I know what you mean! I was more tired when pregnant, overall than with a newborn (except for the 1st few days recovering from 50 hr labour and no sleep on hospital ward)!
Pregnancy makes you tired as you are carrying all the weight, hormones etc and still have to do normal stuff. At least you can put the baby down when you've had it and sit on the sofa all day instead of trying to function at work!

naughtymummy · 28/02/2011 13:22

I agree ! Getting up to go to work after broken sleep is much worse than caring for a newborn. I think anyone who says differently must have an amazingly cushy job. You have my sympathy , dont assume it will be worse I found it complete walk in the park.

Original poster

BlingLoving · 28/02/2011 13:24

Also, I'm just particularly sensitive as I happen to know a number of women who seem to think that waking up at 6am is really going to be a culture shock to them. Their complete lack of any understanding of my current life frustrates me even though I understand - when they worked, they did not have the same kind of jobs/career as I do so of course it's different. But they keep forgetting that being child free does not mean sleeping in necessarily.

I also can't rant to DH because this irritates him even more than it does me! He feels very frustrated that there's a group of his friends who consistently forget that he doesn't have the same traditional marriages that they have and he gets annoyed that a) they make comments he finds insensitive and rude and b) they don't seem to take me as seriously as he thinks they should (bless him. I couldn't care less).

Disclaimer - these are all good friends who would give DH a kidney if he needed one, it's just that they live a different life to us!

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