Partner not interested :(

[Melly19MummyToBe]

So, i'm 19, been with my DP who is 21 for almost 4 and a half years, lived together almost 2 years (1st 10 months of this was spent living with his family. NEVER again) and he bought a house Nov 09. I am almost 26 weeks pregnant with a little girl and although he loves her to bits already and talks to my bump, he makes no effort to reach over and try to feel her kicking because he "probably won't be able to feel it anyway" his words, not mine. And he doesn't seem at all interested in the birth, says he's only going to be there because he has to be, he's not even sure if he wants to. I said I quite liked the idea of a water birth and he looked at me in absolute horror and said "well i'm definately not going to be there then" i'm trying not feel too disheartened by this but I don't know what I can do. I wont have anyone else. My sister will be living with her fiance and 2 kids in stafford in army barracks in June and my mum will be in America. There isn't anyone else I can turn to for support and I just need to talk to somebody for some advice. Please help me

I would not worry too much its still early on. My now ex husband was rubbish he did not bother with anything I did everything on my own. He did not get involved with anything he never talked to the bump I asked him to but he did not the only thing he seemed to be bothered about was the birth plan as he did want to be there. He wanted to cut the cord other than that I was on my own really. I tried a few times to get him involved but he did not. We never went to classes. I felt let down. I also disslocated my knee and my dad got sectioned. I had to go to my dads house and get his clothes to take to hospital I can say now thats one of the lowest points on my life as my ex husband was on the computer playing games and did not offer any help. I was an emotional wreck and in pain and 8 months pregnant. So I think your partner sounds better than my ex!!! Also he might become more excited when he sees baby move?! Or is he not good with blood and stuff?
Im with a new partner now and were having a baby and he is lovley with me. It took a bit for him to see what was going on he can see baby move and speaks to bump most nights think its weird for men I guess as they dont carry baby so maybe it does not sink in? Good Luck

To be honest scruffyhound I feel a bit of a bitch now, starting this thread and seeing how everyones been telling me how crappy their other halfs were and much worse then mine and that i'm lucky that Simon is at least excited and showing half an interest! Reading about everyone elses experiences has made me feel really blessed to have him in my life and I hope he'll turn out to be a great dad when she's born. Im really happy that you have a lovely new OH to look after you, he sounds really great :)

Antenatal classes might help, or any other male friends he's got who've been through all this before. If he's the first of his social circle to go through this (as if you're not going through stuff! ) then it will be very weird for him.

Men can feel very on the outer at times like these, and lots of them get a bit of a fright about impending fatherhood/providing, etc. And not all of them are at all comfortable talking about it. Although I know it's upsetting for you, it's early days in his eyes. It will probably all get much better later on.

If you had women friends/relatives who were able to offer you support in RL, it would be far easier for you, and you could regain a sense of humour about it all. What you're experiencing isn't uncommon!

Take heart, things will improve!!

As far as i'm aware he is the first of his friends to be going through this. Most of the blokes he works with are all dads though, But they're all a lot older than he is although I suppose it doesn't really make a lot of difference. And also because he is a bloke, he doesn't really talk about his feelings or ask for advice off people who have been there and done that.

Hahaha aww bless, sounds like that scan certainly turned him around for the better!! I was 26 weeks yesterday :) whats your due date? mines 7th June, 9 days before my 20th birthday! My OH has just left all the "technical" stuff (as he calls it) to me, basically everything the baby needs, pram, car seat, high chair, moses basket etc. So at least I get everything my way in that respect lol :o