Maternity Leave: Earlier or later?

[bigscaryeyes]

I am due xmas eve and plan to take my maternity leave at 32weeks. I am already and have been switched off from work ( i teach in a secondary school) for the last few weeks. DH and I have worked out maternity budget etc but I now feel v v guilty for not trying to stay longer as other mums to be seem to manage to (my first baby also).

I have been suffering from mild SPD which is getting me down (off work today), but at the same time I do work part-time as a BodyShop@Home consultant - so its not as if I would be totally doing nothing.

Is there anyone else feels pressured to do the supermum thing and work til your waters break - whats your views ladies?

I never felt pressured. I finished at 28 weeks and took hols before my mat leave started.
In fact dh was very FOR me finishing early and in fact wanted me to finish at 4 weeks when we found out about dd. I experienced x2 mc's before so dh and family were very keen for me to relax and to put work 2nd.
I enjoyed finishing so early even though Im now going to be a sahm. Sure I worked with some women who finished v late (one even finished 5 days before baby was born but it's the individuals choice..I knew I would have plenty at home to keep me occupied!

With DS I was planning to finish at 36 weeks, have an easy labour and waltz out of hospital with baby the following day - REALITY CHECK!!! Went off sick at 28+5, admitted to hospital with pre-eclampsia at 29+2, had DS two days later by emergency c-section and eventually got to take him home 10 weeks later - he's doing v well now though! My advice to all pregnant mums would be to take things very easy and only do what you feel you can.

If I have any more in future I will plan to finish at 30 weeks, before having an elective c-section at 37 weeks. Luckily my manager is quite flexible so I expect that if I felt able to work for a couple more weeks when and if I got to 30 weeks they would let me.

HTH

IF you need to finish now then thats fine. With ds I worked until week before his due date but then he didnt turn up till 15days over..lol Also financially I was the main wage earner with ds and had to go back to work when he was 8wks old so didnt take much time at all..to be honest I think that also contributed to me getting depression. WIth this baby i am a sahm and cant see me having stayed in work any longer than at the min [am due 16th dec]

Go on Leave whenever YOU are ready I went on leave at 32 weeks and DS turnedup 3 weeks later at 35 weeks. Can you imagine if I had left it later! Take as much as you can afford and start it so you are ready for your little one!

I worked until 37 weeks and must admit that for week 38 I felt bored at home, wishing I was back at work...but then I really allowed myself to relax and just do nothing - quite a change from my normal pace of life.

I did however work 3 days a week through september and 4 days a week through august by taking annual leave and working around bank holidays. I really felt the benefit of winding down at work, and it also really brought it home to my managers that I really wasnt going to be there for much longer.

Luckily I felt fit and well right to the end when I left, but I agree that if you are unwell, or suffering from any pregnancy related problems, you should use this time to get well and build your strength for the physical side of childbirth and the first few weeks of getting used to baby.

Once again, there is no right or wrong answer - it is simply what suits you!

I went on mat leave at 32 weeks because work was the only thing stressing me out and it was coming up to the busy time of year at my work. DH says that he felt that used the time to really chill out before the birth and handled things much better than maybe I would have.
But agree with everyone - it depends on you and how the pregnancy is going - maybe I would have stayed longer if it were a different time of year and I felt better.

Worth remembering that - for those on a permanent contract anyway - it's likely that you'll accrue some holiday time whilst you're off on maternity leave, so depending on your terms and conditions you might be able to add that leave straight on the end of your maternity leave and give yourself a few weeks more time at home. So that might help with those wanting to leave early but worrying abt using up mat leave.

For what it's worth, I worked to almost 38 weeks and then had 2 weeks leave and DS arrived 3 days early, 8lbs and healthy, exactly on the day my mat leave started. I wouldn't have worked that long if I hadn't felt well, plus I was able to work at home on Fridays each week so that helped. With number two - fingers crossed - will probably aim to finish around 36/37 weeks but really depends how I feel. Won't feel any guilt about stopping earlier if I'm not up to it.

I was meant to work until my due date (I'm a teacher so if I miss my holiday I miss it!) DD however came 3 days early (maybe pph is right she was only 6 11 as well) and I spent most of the time in labour reminding Dh to tell work I wouldn't be in the next day (she conveniently came on a bank holiday)

I think it's entirely your choice though - I don't think I was a supermum for doing it, just wanted to get the students as close to the exams as possible

I worked until 36 weeks and spent quite a bit of time in early pregnancy wondering if I should be working to 38 weeks but when it came down to it I was so glad to be finishing. I think 32 weeks would have been too early for me but then I didn't have SPD -- with SPD I'd be right with you.

I went on maternity leave at 30 weeks and it was blissful! Someone at work with 2 children gave me some very good advice: you will never get that time again, with no work and no baby, so you might as well make the most of it! Also, if you are anything like me you will still have to buy lots of baby equipment and get the baby's bedroom sorted out. I really enjoyed the time.

38 weeks both times, and babies both born at 42 weeks

Hi Bigscaryeyes, found you over here!
I've finished already as I left as soon as I could. I've got some hols to take so my official leave starts on 6th nov (32 weeks) although I left at 29 weeks.
Can't bear to be in work as I feel so awful by the time I get there most days.

It is lovely being at home & not having to struggle through the day if you feel rubbish
Make the most of having some time to relax a bit before the chaos starts.

I think doing a job that requires you to be on your feet a lot, like teaching or retail or healthcare, makes all the difference in the world as to when it feels better for you to leave. I had a desk job, so I can go later, but if I had to be on my feet I'd have to have gone already.

what is spd
I thought i'd be supermum and work until week 37 but i really couldn't face much more than week 36. i've got so much to do!!!! painting, shopping, lying down with feet up, reading etc etc,

I was due on 18th dec and wanted to leave on the 14th (v v easy desk job, figured best leaving more time til after baby arrived) mum persuaded me to leave on 4th december instead. I listened to her and prepared myself for 3 weeks of relaxing and final preparation shopping and packing hospital bag. Went into labour at midnight on 4th/5th! Packed my hospital bag (and waxed legs) in between contractions.

Mums do know best, lol!

I was due on 18th dec and wanted to leave on the 14th (v v easy desk job, figured best leaving more time til after baby arrived) mum persuaded me to leave on 4th december instead. I listened to her and prepared myself for 3 weeks of relaxing and final preparation shopping and packing hospital bag. Went into labour at midnight on 4th/5th! Packed my hospital bag (and waxed legs) in between contractions.

Mums do know best, lol!

I was due on 18th dec and wanted to leave on the 14th (v v easy desk job, figured best leaving more time til after baby arrived) mum persuaded me to leave on 4th december instead. I listened to her and prepared myself for 3 weeks of relaxing and final preparation shopping and packing hospital bag. Went into labour at midnight on 4th/5th! Packed my hospital bag (and waxed legs) in between contractions.

Mums do know best, lol!

oops! soz

I also had SPD. I also switched off from work - the minute I was pregnant and wanted to be lying on the sofa at home, not working with children!

I went on maternity leave at 35 weeks, which was as long as I could stand. I found the constant references to my increasing size VERY tedious and wanted to wear a teeshirt which said "no, I don't know the sex, no, I don't mind, it's due 23rd June".

It's very uncomfortable towards the end. I would advise taking annual leave. I'm going back when the baby will be 6 months, which is probably just about right for me.

Big scarey, don't worry what you think other mums are doing - you'll spend enough time doing that after the baby is born! Finish when you're ready, it's different for each person and each baby. I finished at 38wks with dd & had a week off before she arrived 8 days early. With 2nd baby due 17/12 I am finishing at 37wks, but am a lot more tired and ready to finish now, but can't afford it. But my job isn't too hectic, my hours are flexible and I get a seat on the train, if none of that happened than I would be struggling. Having a child at home already definitely changes things 2nd time around, but I want as much paid time off afterwards as possible, so will stick it out another 5wks

I've just finished work a few days ago (am 39 weeks today!!!) but luckily I've been able to work from home for the last couple of weeks. However, I don't think that's meant I've done any less work - people at work we're still trying to get me to do stuff when offically my holidays had started this week (have saved up my hols to take before my mat leave starts). I've had to say NO!

The thing is now I feel rather panicked about "getting everything done" in time - I'm stripping walls and painting the house, just wanting everything to be finished by the time the baby arrives! But I do feel knackered alot and have to keep resting...

As everyone has said, leave when it feels right for you. I worked until 36 weeks - that felt 'right' for me when I was planning it - but actually my brain completely shut down that last week. I couldn't even work out what to do if I was late back from lunch! Seriously, was having a load of lunches with key contacts all week to say goodbye, got held up at one and ended up blurting out 'oh, no, I'm late for a meeting, what do I doooooo', like a complete muppet. She actually had to tell me 'use my phone, call the office, tell them you will be back a bit late' - I was so out of it couldn't work it out for myself. Durrrrrrrrrrr..

Didn't get bored at all those last few weeks, had a good NCT antenatal group who met up twice a week and met up with other friends almost every day. And lounged on the sofa reading and making phone calls, feeling too heavy and too hot to move (was a major heatwave).

I finished early with my first son, at seven months and I don't regret it at all. That was time for me to rest, relax, lunch with friends and pamper myself. Make the most of the timne you have on your own as after you will have your baby, your life will never be the same again- even when you sleep you will still be worring about your baby. For my second son I worked up until the end (although I was lucky as I am a nursery manager and my son came with me) and then I enjoyed having lots of time off with both of my boys.
Enjoy yourself, get lots of rest and sleep and remember don't feel guilty-if your happy so is your baby. Good luck xxx