Maternity Leave: Earlier or later?

[bigscaryeyes]

I am due xmas eve and plan to take my maternity leave at 32weeks. I am already and have been switched off from work ( i teach in a secondary school) for the last few weeks. DH and I have worked out maternity budget etc but I now feel v v guilty for not trying to stay longer as other mums to be seem to manage to (my first baby also).

I have been suffering from mild SPD which is getting me down (off work today), but at the same time I do work part-time as a BodyShop@Home consultant - so its not as if I would be totally doing nothing.

Is there anyone else feels pressured to do the supermum thing and work til your waters break - whats your views ladies?

I stayed working until a month before in both cases - purely because I felt fit and well and strong enough mentally not to let any of that work shit stress me out.

It's really such a personal thing and depends upon your state of mind and your own personal physical fitness.

Neither born early, both 7 and a half pounds +.

Thanks PRINCESS didnt know about birthweight fact pass this on to DH! Rightly or wrongly I seemed to have obtained this perception that its the thing to do to: work late - and this conflicts with how I feel.

I'm v glad of all these posts and i count my blessings that i have the school holidays throughout the year to see my baby mor than most would (even found a nursery that does a deal for parent teachers during holidays!)

I thought i might add..teaching must be a pretty intense job..surely it's best to avod the stress, and you won't be working so well if you are in pain or just plain shattered.

When I was pg with dd, I was determined to stay at work as long as possible so I had plenty of time with her when she was born. Everyone who I worked with was staying on till they were like 38/39 weeks! So I thought it would be easy

I suffered with awful morning sickness, blackouts and terrible back pain. It didn't help that I had to catch 4 trains a day to get to and from work. I took so much time off sick and when I was there I wasn't much use as I felt so rubbish.

In the end I was admitted to hospital at 27 weeks with what was thought, was early labour. Luckily it wasn't and I went back to work 3 days later only to blackout at the station again.
I went straight home, called my Gp who said I'll give you another sick note. I told my employer and it was decided by everyone that it was best if I just took my mat leave as I was 28 weeks by then.

After the first week off I felt great. No work to worry about, no stressful journeys, just relaxing and taking things easy.

It did become a bit boring more towards my due date but I think everyone is the same around that time anyway.

If you're happy finishing work, IMO it's the best thing to do, especially if your suffering with SPD. I didn't have that but I am told it's quite painful.

Whatever you do, all the best and I hope you feel a bit better soon

ChaCha i am hoping for a 4day contract - are oyu planning on going P/t do you think you really get that extra day or do just end up doing the same spread over the five days? What are your thoughts?

Nbg - sounds like you had a real time of it my word! I can definately relate to your point about when you are at work you feel so crappy that your're no use to anyone. Ive found it difficult to concentrate (always thinking about the loo or my nxt sleep and how heavy the traffics going to be on the way home!) and thus felt quite off the ball - especially when you see other people rushing about.

It is difficult to conentrate, like you said all you can think about is getting home and in to a nice warm bed for lots of sleep. Doesn't help when you have a long journey infront of you before it though.

I used to just sit at my desk staring at the clock, praying that there would be some easy jobs for me to do that would pass the time.
Your job must be very stressful. My BIL and SIL are secondary school teachers and some of the things they tell us You must have the patience of a saint

Well NBG part of the guilt and feeling crappy is I havn't always had such patience. Some days i felt like screaming at the kids you bloody little 'bleep' can't you see I'm pregnant - these are the days when i just want to walk out. But they're not all like that. Suprisingly my sixth form students can be the worst arrogant 'bleeps' some of them. However you smile an say the 'done thing' then figure out the quickest route home for that time of day and one which has a petrol station for a chocolate stop!

You've done great working up till now. I'm guessing your about 30 weeks?

NBG Yep I am proud to say I 30+4 - and it feels like ive been pregnant forever found at at 4weeks! Officially I start my leave at 32 weeks. I have booked bodyshop parties up until the end of nov and I have two or three training days so i still have stuff to keep me busy. My mam off work poorly so i can visit her but DH has said I can't drive to Manchester to be in a tv audience! (idea from a magazine!) Well we'll just have to see if I'm content with pottering around the house still in 6 weeks time.

with my first pregnancy i had had to finish early due to high blood pressure. I finshed at 27 weeks. Im due 27th December and have just finished work for alot of reasons. I dont feel guilty. I think as pregnant ladies we have a great excuse to relax!

Bonkerz yippeeeee my mummy power is getting stronger. I'm off today with SPD and I like the idea thats its just me and my bump. I can feel my guilt melting away. Hoooraaay for mumsnet I was a pg hormonal mess earlier - I feel ready to tackle MW re forgotton physio referral!!!!!!!

I'm sure you'll find things to do.

Dh came home one day to find the front door had been re-painted with new door handles, numbers and post slot! (Couldn't resist!)

I even managed a bit of re decorating.

Oh i have pleanty little nesting jobs to do - I have a list and my friend is comming during half term nxt week to help. I bought a sewing machine a few months back but it hasn't been out of its box so I am hoping to make a patchwork playmatt for the floor of some sort! In fact i think I will write a fresh list 'maternity intentions' -the sort of things i wouldn't normally make time for. Anyway I have a breastfeeding workshop to go to and aquanatel - these are only on during day and I can still meet the girls for lunch on fridays

I'm flying high now ladies!!!! Early maternity leave for all!!!!

Well I say I'm flying high I'm going to have to get up off PC chair in a min re SPD LOL.

If you can afford it, take as long as you can. I'm one of those who needs as much money as possible to pay rent and buy food, so I'll be hanging on till 9 Dec. My due date is 18 Dec. I have two jobs I'll be working up till the last minute.

I have severe anaemia and the iron tablets they prescribed me made me unbelievably ill for the past three days, so I'm trying to sort out the deficiency w/diet.

Nothing to do w/being a supermum. Everything to do w/being utterly skint.

Expat

I'm getting all excited for you now Scaryeyes!

Definitely give up work early if you can afford it. It's your first baby so now is the time to relax and make the most of having time to yourself with only yourself to think about - it's your last chance! Presumably, as you are a teacher, you can go back to work (ie start getting paid again) at the beginning of the summer holidays and therefore not have to actually show up in person until September?

A 4 day contract might work for you but I found that even 3 days of teaching as opposed to the full 5 were just as stressful. Luckily my colleagues were a great support, I don't know if it would have been the same story anywhere else. The thing is, it's not just the teaching or the commuting is it? It's the preparation, planning, marking etc. There is so much involved and the day is never quite over in my honest opinion.
I don't think i'll be going back to teaching, I want to spend as much time as possible with our baby. We are aware that this is going to be a financial strain on DH but we are both willing to sacrifice and will just have to be content with frugal living for a while.
Should we find it to difficult or if i need some time out of the house i'll think about something else..until then am quite content with pottering around and waiting for this little baby.
ChaCha xx

Thanks EXPAT - well done you for keeping it up.

ROOBIE - thats right I'll be doing just that and using first full pay to have a long wkend to make up4my honeymoon I missed.

ChaCha I'd love to do just that - I am head of dept (only me in it) I still retain my new TLR allowance but 80% of CPS pay so if i went down any further i wud be looking at a job share situation.

We would like another child soon after this one so I'm hanging on until I see whats what with all that, we've also postponed a house move with this in mind. Just wish I had that bloody stupid 'bleep' of a student loan paid off and CC I do hope at some point I can work p/t in a school nearer me with less travel.

The problem with being head of your own dept is I have no other subject specialist to help me and they've put an NQT in charge while I'm on maternity leave (he seems v nice but not sure what'll be left for me to go back to!)

I wanted to stay at work as late as possible, but only because I wanted more time after baby was born. I am a window dresser, and also do instore displays, so have to use tall ladders and do alot of lifting/stretching.When it got to the point where I was struggling, my employer asked me if I wanted to work in the office doing filing etc. I was dreading it, as I thought I would be so bored.

I actually really enjoyed it, I remember sitting in the office feeling ds moving around in my tum!

I left 4 weeks before my due date, but I did get very big (ds was 9lb 12) and I was due in January, so wanted to put my feet up for christmas!

Quite right! I've got a toddler at home, so 'rest and relax' isn't really an option whether I'm at home or at work.

Take the max you can.

1STIME The more posts I read the more I am convinces that its such an individual decision - ive got my head round that now. You lucky your employer was flexible and you were able to change - were you not scared of ever falling even early on?

Checking out for an hour must go and have a soak in bath SPD requirement!

sorry if a bit off topic,but mumfor1sttime..
how did you get your job?
I have gnvq in fashion, and a history of art/ fine art degree and have been wanting a job like yours, but never found vacancies for such...

Dear all who've posted (and for those who havn't I work in a school) A colleague has just rung me and said she is to testify about a shooting incident that took place in our school car park: one student firing at others - madness, Just told DH and he said he has no quarms about me going at 32wks and he also said he has noticed how the school kids puch past him when getting off the bus on a morning so he's been quite supportive.

He has also said I can't remember the first time we noticed you had a little bump cos you had a fat tummy to start with - / what are they like ladies!!!!