Quickie wedding or wait until after the baby?

[LittlePebble]

My Fiancee and I were planning to get married in October/ November this year. After coming off the pill in October (my sister was having trouble conceiving and we were told it could take up to a year to get the pill out of my system) I am now 7+3 and DF and I cannot decide what to do.

the facts:
I already have a beautiful dress (size 12 and fitted)
We both want to get married in a church
We cannot get married over the summer (busy season for our business)

Do we opt for a small wedding with only family? Do I sell the dress? Do I wait until the baby is born and try and slim into it? How much of a difference does it make being Mrs XXX when you are having the baby?
I can't seem to make my mind up as have pg hormones raging...Help!

I would wait and do it 2012. If you slim into the dress - brilliant (I am sure you will), but if not, just get another one.
You will be able to do it just the way you want it if you wait, with the addition of your child.
The only difference it will make being married is when you register dc, but that can be easily changed once you are married. They will just need to re register child as having parents that are married (I think)

I also had a wedding planned and dress bought when i discovered I was pregnant. I went for the quickie wedding so got married at 14 weeks pregnant in my gorgeous dress!

Organised the wedding in literally 3 1/2 weeks start to finish and although it was much more low key than the original wedding plan I think it was much more 'us'.

The only bummer is not being able to drink at your own wedding - I made one glass of champagne last about 3 hours!

Personally I know we wouldn't have got round to it once the baby was here and would've found a million other uses for the cash but you're probably more organised than me.

Congratulations by the way!

This happened to me - well not so much the dress- but we had planned to get married up a mountain in Colorado at Xmas. My US friend had borrowed her (very rich) neigbours "cabin" for a couple of weeks. I found myself PG in June - so that put paid to that idea .

We left it til afterwards. Better to have the day you want than compromise in mho.

I didn't wait. As my sister helpfully pointed out, getting married while breastfeeding or having a toddler in tow is much more of a faff than getting married while pregnant. My cousin waited, got married with an excitable 18 month old and wished she'd done it earlier!

I was 5 months. We got it planned in 3 months, had small wedding, restaurant reception and no evening do. Wedding night at posh hotel, honeymoon in Dorset- I couldn't face going abroad or spending yet more money on a tropical maternity wardrobe I'd never use again.

Mind you, apart from the honeymoon that's very much the kind of wedding we'd have had anyway. If you can't arrange the kind of wedding you really want at such short notice then it's probably worth waiting.

We wanted to be married before our child was born. Not because it made any practical difference, eg when in hospital, because we just did.

Bear in mind maternity wedding dresses are generally pretty poor- I had one made.

I vote for waiting - we got BFP two days after getting engaged, had been thinking of getting married later that year but put it off until DD was 9m.

So glad that we did - needed a bit of military precision to think about timings etc for the day but it worked perfectly. We had a babysitter (good friend of a friend, so someone who was trusted but wouldn't have been invited to the wedding) who looked after DD in the hotel upstairs from the wedding and she slept all night, no problems at all.

Although I was still BF her I could still have some drinks and relax and enjoy things once she was in bed; I felt sick all the way through PG (think it's going the same way with this one now) so would definitely not been up for a party!

Depends what sort of wedding you want and how many people you want there. I would personally go to the church and ask what's the soonest the vicar would marry you. You can get married on weekdays as well as weekends and you can get married at (I think) 3 weeks notice.

So in your position, I'd go for the March wedding ASAP in the dress you have.

A few reasons for my opinion:

1. I had a reg office wedding on a Tues and never regretted it (10yrs ago). It was fab. I wasn't pg.

2. The actual wedding pales in to insignificance compared to the marriage. Unless you really love the idea of a big do with loads of planning, I'd just do it. It's nice to be a newlywed.

3. The same thing happened to DH's cousin. Engaged, fiancee got pg, postponed wedding til after baby. Baby came. Then another baby came. Life carried on. EIGHT years later, they made it down the aisle .

personally id wiat until after

im 11 weeks pg now and no intention to marry OH until i have my figure back (after hopefully several children)
we know we will get married one day, but if today he came home and said lets get married 1st id say no, we'll wait till baby born thanks!

Oh do it now!
I got married in October last year and was 16 weeks pregnant and had 3 children in tow! We just hadn't got around to it before and when my dh asked me I wasn't pregnant but it didn't even occur to me to put it off when we found out. I bought a dress before knowing I'd be pregnant and still fit into it at 16 weeks, size 10, with it being my fourth as well I grow much bigger much quicker so I would imagine you would fit into yours until at least 16 weeks and also a good seamstress could easily alter it for you.
I so, so, agree that getting married whilst pregnant it infinitely easier than getting married with a little one around on the day. We were so lucky that our 2 year old slept for 3 hours on the day (unheard of!!) and so we could sit down to the meal/speeches etc without chasing her around the room. Once they are past about 6 months they just want to be on the move so unless you can get married when yours is about 3-6 months you do risk spending the day following the baby instead of enjoying yourself. Can you lose the weight in 3-6 months though??!!

We also had a lovely marquee in the evening in our garden so that we could put our children to bed whenever they got tired. You do have to consider that at the evening do all your babysitters will probably be at the 'do' so you may well have to have your little one with you in the evening too!
Finally, I really don't know how I managed to plan everything with 3 children! My youngest wasn't yet 2 and she takes up such a huge chunk of the day that I could only get around to things in the evening, I was still ordering fairy lights for the marquee 3 days before the wedding! You have your whole weekends at the moment to prepare.
I thought I would miss getting drunk with everyone but actually I am so glad it turned out the way it did as I remember every single part of the day and it was still truly magical.
Finally, it's much easier to get away on honeymoon on your own when you don't have a baby! We got away for 2 days to Paris which was wonderful but I would have loved a week!
Obviously, this is all my personal experience and you may not agree but thought it might help to hear my recent experience.

i cant think of anything worse than organising a wedding, let alone organising one when pregnant. sod that!

I got married late last year whilst 3 1/2 months pregnant. We were engaged anyway, hadn't started planning the wedding though until we found out I was expecting. I knew after the baby is born we wouldn't get round to getting married for ages as I will want to spend everything on my baby, and I know it sounds old fashioned but I really wanted to register our son with same surnames! I didn't wear a maternity dress (had to buy a bigger dress than my usual size but still went for exactly the same as I would have got if I wasn't pregnant). We had a church wedding, and managed to arrange the reception almost exactly how I would have wanted it if we had been planning for years! I'm so glad now that we did it this way, there was nothing about the wedding that I would have changed, it was perfect!

It doesn't take long to organise a wedding, even one with all of the 'extras'. IMO long engagements usually just lead to lots of over-thinking about insignificant details on the part of the Bride and the two families! Unless you have relatives and friends from far away that you REALLY want to be there, then it's perfectly good manners to issue an invite for a date a month or so away. I'd just do it. You'll still fit your dress for another couple of months.

Oooooh how exciting a wedding and a baby!

PS I had my wedding when I was 9 weeks pregnant. It was a wonderful night. The only downside was that I got 'morning sick' at about 9.30pm after our reception dinner and by 10.30pm had to leave the reception because I was SO ILL and kept having to race off to the ladies' to spew! I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant, so, I hid the fact that I was ill from everybody in case they thought I was immoderately drunk! Despite that I had a fantastic night and have no regrets.

I was married at 18w pg, after having organised the wedding in 8 weeks flat. I had started thinking about it before then, as soon as I confirmed I was pg, but the actual organising started when I confirmed the date (had to check with my best friend which day she was available, she had a dreadfully full schedule). I had had my dress for some time, and it needed letting out at the sides - but a tailor friend put two panels in for me. No one noticed!

My best friend did almost exactly the same - but her wedding had been planned earlier. She was just accidentally 17w pg when the wedding happened - and she also needed a small extra panel put into her dress, again no one noticed.

Her sister, OTOH, decided to have the baby first and get married later - 2 babies and several years later, they are still not married because they can never afford it and something else always gets in the way.

So I would say go for it now, try and recreate as much of your wedding as you can but in the next few weeks. I would ALSO say phone everyone you really want to be there in advance, give them as much notice as possible - and possibly aim for a week day instead of the weekend as you are more likely to get it sooner. I had my wedding on a Friday - had 2 teachers, 2 police personnel and an airline pilot there - they'd all had 8weeks notice to try and get the day off and they all managed it. :)

I also announced my pg at the wedding to the 50% of the guests who didn't already know about it . It didn't diminish my enjoyment of the day at all - in fact I was almost grateful that I couldn't drink (apart from half a glass champagne) because it meant there was no chance of me having too much accidentally and being hungover. I did have to have a little sit-down after over-exuberant bopping to Tiger Feet though!

I'd do it now! We got married when DD was 2.5yrs and by then we had more things to worry about than the wedding (money, childcare etc). I think it would be easier to get married without a child in tow! Friend of mine got married at 8 months pregnant (she had to get a new maternity wedding dress and ditch the original one) and it was a beautiful, wonderful day!

Do it now! Got married at 24 weeks - wedding planned before BFP! Had to change dress for a maternity one (google tiffany rose if you do too), but otherwise all was fabulous- despite sober hen party and wedding- at least can remember both fully ;)
Ours was small, easy to organise wedding and am v glad we did it - baby is 2weeks old now & can't see how we would have time to plan wedding/honeymoon.

Heya,

Snap!

Engaged NYE 2009, wedding planned for April 2011, told I had polycystic ovaries summer 2010...pregnant september 2010. On my wedding day I will be exactly 8 months pregnant.
Same as you, dress bought, venue & photographer booked (in South Africa BTW)luckily the flights weren't booked!
My OH was desperate to get married before we had children as was I, but I felt so awful and was struggling to come to terms with being pregnant let alone getting married aswell, so we are waiting for the baby to arrive before we get married now.
I had to go and see my gorgeous size 10 wedding dress a few weeks ago - NOT FUN!!

Good luck whatever you decide I'm sure it will be right for you and your OH, I still wish I was married before the baby but I guess sometimes life gets in the way of even the best laid plans!

Found out I was pregnant first time 1 week after order for wedding dress sent, venue booked etc. was 5 months pregnant with twins at my wedding, dress magically grew, had the wedding exactly as we planned it just with some rest breaks for me and lots of soft drinks available.
Best day of my life, felt amazing all day in my dress and felt great the next day.

In the end I am really glad we did as my pregnancy went pear shaped but I still have one beautiful memory from that pregnancy and lots of lovely photos. For us it was meant to be and I am really glad we did not rearrange.

I will be having some photos done in wedding dress once slimmed from this time just so have have some as the dress was meant to look .

As long as its right for you go for it.

My fiance had bought the week and planned to propose on Valentine's Day (ten days ago). The day before, I took a pregnancy test and it was pregnant! I was kind of hoping he would propose. I just wish I'd waited to do the pregnancy test until after Valentine's Day because now everyone thinks he proposed BECAUSE he got me pregnant! Not cause he wants to actually marry me!!!

Anyway, wedding is booked and deposit paid and it's all happening in April this year.

Decided we wanted to marry before the baby and that once the baby is here, we'd never spend money on a wedding. Plus, my figure is probably better now than it will be next year! Oh and my friends got married with their toddler there and it was a bit of nightmare - he was so excited and crying and kept trying to run away and his grandma and I spent the whole time looking after him!

Do what's right for you

Do it now! We had our wedding in October, and all was going fine until DD (4) had to be rushed to the hospital (ambulance called after 'vows') as she had a severe asthma attack. I spent the reception in hospital with her while DH stayed with the rest of the wedding party. (She is fine btw)

So, moral of the story: get married before children

Same as us, we were planning to get married in October and got a BFP on the 5th jan! Initially i wanted to do a quickie as I wanted to be a 'Mrs' at the hospital but my OH was adamant that he wanted it to be special and unrushed and in hindsight he has been right. We have decided to do it in Feb next year, my mum has offered to have baby if we decide to go away (very kind, i know) and as I've always worked with children it was going to be a very child friendly wedding anyway it will be lovely that ours will also be there.
Congratulations and good luck with whatever you decide!

We got married 21st December just gone and I was 21 weeks pregnant then. You can hardly tell on the photos, not that I would have cared. The wedding was partly planned when we found out and the dress was already bought but it fit fine- no adjustments needed despite quite a bump. I would recommend a corset, lace up style which is more forgiving than a zip style dress.

It was luckily the right time in the pregnancy, in the "blooming" gap between morning sickness and late pregnancy tiredness and SPD. I'd recommend thinking carefully about what stage of your pregnancy you will be having the wedding in.

My DH announced the baby on the day to everyone, most of whom already knew. He made a toast to "new beginnings" and it just seemed right for the baby to be part of the day :)

I got married after having kids...there's no WAY i'd have been in a position where i couldn't have a drink at my own wedding!!!!

Adding my vote for getting married now.

You will look beautiful in your dress. You know you love this man and want to be with him, and vice versa. The longer you take planing out your wedding the more expensive and OTT it'll get and frankly you don't need any of that. You will never have another chance to make it all about the two of you. Just imagine having to phone the baby sitter to check little Olivia/Oliver's cold hasn't got worse on the big day.

I say just do it. Be wild and free and go for it. Maybe even jet off to Vegas/the Carribean/ Gretna Green.

You don't need alcohol and a 200 seat reception. Next time you're lying in bed open your eyes and look around, right there, under that duvet, is everything you really need. Have some fun and throw the precious planning to the wind.

Vegas, I dare you

Do it asap otherwise you'll end up delaying and delaying after your DC is born.

Yes, you won't be able to drink but you wouldn't be able to really with a small child in tow - I hardly had a drink at our wedding anyway and wasn't pg!

Also it's actually not that hard to plan in a short time - focusses the mind on what you actually really want and stops you reading too many bridal magazines which encourage you to spend far too much money.

Congratulations and good luck with whatever you decide :)

I think only you can decide what kind of wedding you want to do, but dont worry about the dress my step MIL owns a bridal shop and can alter a dress really quick to make it a size bigger. She has even had to do this on the wedding day so that is not a problem at all.