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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Oh shit. Stick says yes. But I've got a 4 month old. Not sure I can do this.

59 replies

Underachieving · 22/02/2011 20:41

The title sort of says it all.

I've got a 4 month old baby, so I've only just stopped being pregnant. God I can still wear my maternity leggings, I'm nothing like ready to do this again!

We had a really big arguement, we made up- properly. I thought, it's Ok, we'll use the morning after pill. Didn't know the effectiveness fell to 58% by the third day so left it till the third day and er, made the most of it as it were. Haven't used the morning after pill since I was a teenager, am usually so careful. What an idiot. [facepalm]

2 babies, 13 months apart?

It's too close. I'm scared. Someone tell me it's going to be alright? That 3 years from now I wont be incontinent and morbidly obese and having a nervous breakdown?

We wanted more kids, we had ideas of having a big family actually. So having three children running around isn't worrying, it's that those children would be 12 years old, 1 year and one month old and then a newborn.

OMG I don't even know what my point is. Sorry. Am panicking.

What IS the ACTUAL impact of having babies so close together?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mamatomany · 22/02/2011 22:27

the impact is that you'll be knackered and they will be as close as twins

BoffinMum · 22/02/2011 22:30

You are not your mother.
You are you.
That is what will make the difference.

Original poster

Underachieving · 22/02/2011 22:37

He's not home yet ChippingInNeeds Coffee, he doesn't get in until really late.

OP posts:

NancyDrewHadaClue · 22/02/2011 22:41

I found out I was pregnant with DC2 when DC1 was 8 mths. Not such a big deal but I was 14 weeks!

DD1 has just turned 6 and DS1 is 14 mths younger and it is fab. They fight but they adore each other, they rely on each other and really are best friends. They wont often admit it but they are lost without each other.

The begining was a shock. TBH I was horrified we didn't plan it like that but you know what a few years later we decided we wanted DC3 and our second son was stillborn - sometimes things don't go to plan (I don't say that to guilt you into feeling bad, just I really believe that sometimes it serves us better to look at the positives)

You will be fine

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 22/02/2011 22:46

Oh...

Do you feel a bit calmer now?

It's exciting really you know, a new little baby - all that snuggly newness again :)

I think you should think about a new user name - that one is very negative and you are worth more than that!

I tell you what though, if you can't get your head around the idea of a new little baby in 8 months time - you can hand them over to me - I'd love a new snuggly one

perpetuallypregnant · 22/02/2011 23:05

I was in your position a few months ago. I posted a very similar post actually :)

My Dd3 was born 18th may and dd4 is due 6th may! So depending on how punctual she is there will be between 11 and 12 months between them. I also have 3 older children aged 14, 12 and 7.

I was horrified and exactly like you I felt/feel like I've been bloody pregnant forever and I don't even like being pregnant

I am now almost 30 weeks, I don't know how things will turn out but this pregnancy has flown over so far as I've been so busy with the baby that I haven't had time to count down the days like you do normally. I am very tired and I am still in a kind of denial that this is happening tbh. The baby has just gone 9 months and she is still waking in the night although she is pretty laid back and placid during the day. I'm just praying for an easy one this time round!

I am now excited, I know it's another girl so I can reuse all the lovely things I bought for the last one and I hope they will be really close and enjoy each other.

Dh has an an appt for a vasectomy :o - 4 children was perfect, 5 is an extra surprise... Any more would be a nervous breakdown!

Original poster

Underachieving · 23/02/2011 00:19

Well he's back. He's accepted it after intitially being concerned it was too close. I'm feeling less panicked and I'm really greatful to the lovely MNers on this thread for the help with that. I don't know what to think right now, I'm partly terrified, partly delighted and partly still in shock. I'll have to try to post something more coherant tomorrow.

OP posts:

NancyDrewHadaClue · 23/02/2011 00:32

underachieving just remember your DH is still in shock, as were you.

When I told my (honestly!) lovely lovely DH who is a fab father that I was pregnant again he just stared at me blankly and said "but I don't want another baby".

I was so cross at the time (and shocked because he is lovely and it was out of character) but a friend reminded me that although I was shocked I had had some time to prepare myself (even if it didn't feel like it) I had thought "maybe" gone out, bought a test, done the test. For DH the news came from nowhere.

I am sure by tomorrow you will both be thrilled

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 23/02/2011 00:37

So does this mean you wont be posting it to me :(

I hope you can get some sleep tonight :)

Baffledandbewildered · 23/02/2011 01:00

Our middle three have just 12 months between their birthdays ......it can't be that bad as I did it twice!!!!! Then I waited another three years bit hellish when they are all little mine were newborn 3 4 5 7 now they are all teens it's great. Good luck you will look back and laugh honest

earwicga · 23/02/2011 01:29

Congratulations!

My children are 2 minutes apart. My friend who had two in a year (they are in the same school year which is nice) was jealous of me

Seriously though, you will do it.

earwicga · 23/02/2011 01:29

That should of said 'you will do it fine.'

PipPipPip · 23/02/2011 08:50

Underachieving it sounds like your childhood experiences (in particular, your Mum claiming that having two children close together is the reason she couldn't cope) are the main reason you're flipping out. Perhaps you could talk to a councillor about your childhood? Or talk it through with your DH a little more?

Many women have had two kids close together and have been just fine. Sure, it is loads of work having two kids of any age sounds like loads of work.

Good luck x x

harrygracejessica · 23/02/2011 09:53

I had a 15 month age gap between DS1 and then had twins so had 3 kids in 15 months. Its doable, its tiring but routine will become your friend :)

Valiant1 · 23/02/2011 12:57

My dd and ds2 have 1yr and 6weeeks between them. I was so scared that i wouldnt cope that there wasn't enough time that i would be exusted. i just had to make sure i had a routeine? (i can't spell lol) now they are 4 and 5 and it is pretty much like having twin's. you will be fine and i'm sure you could find some one in your area who has had the same experince xx

FiveFeetTwo · 23/02/2011 13:00

I have 12 months between my 2 sons.

Very very very hard at first but an absolute joy now.

They are easy peasy, great friends and the best thing I ever did.

NancyDrewHadaClue · 23/02/2011 13:03

I now feel like a total lightweight with my one 14mth gap

HarderToKidnap · 23/02/2011 13:25

Would it make you feel better if I told you about my friend who was told she was infertile and had IVF twins. One cheeky shag at four months postnatal and she was pregnant again (naturally, this time) with, you guessed it, twins. They came a few weeks early so she has about fifty weeks between the two sets. That's four babies. FOUR. Under. 1.

And she is alive and a size 12 and loves her crazy busy manic life. They are 2 and 3 now and a brilliant family.

BoffinMum · 23/02/2011 13:27

FOUR UNDER 1! OMG!

Be careful what you wish for, as they say ...

Anonymousbird · 23/02/2011 13:29

OP - this was me. I assumed it would take a while second time, like it did first time. Hey presto, pregnant at the first time of asking!

You'll be fine.

Piccalilli2 · 23/02/2011 13:33

I have a friend who has 2 with the same gap, I know she found it really hard for the first year or so but definitely getting better now and frankly having 2 is hard for the first year or so whatever the gap. All my friends who have 2 close together have also said it is actually easier than a bigger gap when they are a bit older - they are more likely to want to do the same sorts of things.

megansmummy1 · 23/02/2011 15:22

congratulations, i am actually jealous! I would have ideally loved to do this but due to money/work have had to leave 4 years. It will be hard going for the first couple of years but after that they will always have someone to play with etc. There is 15m between my sister and i and we are really close as we grew up at the same time, its like having a twin. There was only 11m between my mum and her brother so they were in the same school class and were always close. You will cope because you need to, it will be fine!

jojessd · 23/02/2011 20:31

Hi,

As a mum who has been there and done that and panicked when I found out I was having another so soon all I can say is this..........its not as bad as you think.
I had my eldest son in May 2007 and then on halloween of all days I found out we were expecting again. Wasnt planned but after discussing it with my mother in law who has had 6 boys including twins and twice had babies only 16 mths apart we decided to go ahead. My sis also had 2 close together.
There are 13 months and 2 weeks between my boys, plus they have an older sister (she's 3 and a half years older than the middle one). I found that they went down for afternoon naps at the same time and they still go to bed now at the same time. It wasnt as bad as I thought and I still got time to rest through the day. My sleepless nights were longer than normal because as I had got the eldest son to sleep through, the youngest then arrived and the sleepless nights started again lol.
YOu will be fine and you can do it - honestly. Believe in yourself and good luck xx

whatserface · 23/02/2011 22:19

well my middle two are 11 months apart- yes i got preggers almost immediately in 2nd cycle after my 2nd child and they are not 2 and 3 and are the best of friends!!!!
you will be fine
btw im now preg with my 5th so its not all bad!!!!

Original poster

Underachieving · 23/02/2011 22:35

Right well...

Having had 24 hours to live with it I am feeling a bit excited, in amoungst all the other feelings.

OH's initial point was that it'd be hard on my body to which I said we didn't know that. That I had no knowledge of any reliable information on close pregnancies and so we couldn't actually know that. He accepted that.

Then he said that he was worried DD2 (currently a baby) wouldn't get the attention she deserves. To which I said there were two of us after all and he accepted that. He's a great father to DD2, he never passes the buck, gets up in the night if I'm tired even when it's a work-night and he is too, so it'll just mean if I end up devoting myself to the newborn he'll have to devote himself to the little one. He accepted that too. Actually he seemed a bit pleased at not having to share DD2 with me so much, he's utterly in love with her.

Bouyed up by this thread I put it to him that there were advantages to having babies close togther. Advantages I can remember mentioning were that:

You get the baby stage over and done with quickly, with all it's pack whole changing-bag just to go to Tesco type inconvenience. He umm'd an agreement.
They will want to do the same things. I reminded him that his 2 DS's were 5 years appart and how it must have been tricky for he and thier Mum to find outings that suited both boys. He said "you're right". So that was another hit. (Thanks MumsNetters).
For all but one academic year (DD2 in Yr 7 but DC3 in yr 6) we will be doing only one school run. Granted this school run will be on foot, bu it's still a PITA. He saw the bnefit of this.
DD2 throws up a lot, and I do mean a lot (special milk, anti-colic bottles, infacol, 30 min windings and she's still sickier than average) which means the seatbelts in the car have copped lots of vomit. I put it to him that we could flog off the old cars in 2 years and buy clean ones (we always buy them shiny clean, even though we're talking £1k-£2k cars here). He liked the idea of a pukeless car in just 3 years or so!
A shorter period of family building means I get my career back on track earlier, which has to be better financially.
We've already got the kit and an acceptable sized house. It saves having to store the moses basket etc. in the loft and risk it growing mould so that DD2 can have the spare room for a nursery. We'll just have a double nursery, followed by bunk beds, like sis and I did. Even with a boy for DC3 another bedroom wont be needed for ages.

I ended on the strongest arguements. Firstly that we knew we were chancing it when we got down and dirty. Alright we didn't know how high the risks were but we did know there was a risk. We took that risk knowingly. Secondly, we wanted more kids anyway.

So to cut a long story short he's totally on board now, heart and soul and in October we will have two glorious babies not one.

I've been amusing myself looking at car seats, one of only a very few things I will need to get another one of.

OP posts:

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