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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Why do people think it's ok to say "You're Huge!!!!"

30 replies

cockle84 · 31/01/2011 15:47

Argh! Is it just me being over sensitive but I'm really getting tired of people telling me "Wow, you're really showing now!" or "You're much bigger than I was" or "Blimey you're huge, you're going to have a big baby". I'm nearly 34 weeks so yes, I'm going to be "showing" what a ridiculous thing to say, and actually I'm no bigger than you were at this stage!!
The Midwife who is the one person who really has any insight as to how big baby will be is more than happy with my size....I'm measuring bang on where I should be according to my growth chart.
I don't know why this annoys me so much but it's really beginning to grate!
Moan over....for now!

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EauRouge · 31/01/2011 15:58

I think people just have a brain block when it comes to starting conversations with pregnant women! I've been asked if I'm having twins and been told that I'm tiny by different people on the same day.

Darnsarfupnorf · 31/01/2011 16:05

im being told im tiny too, i feel huge but when they say that i feel like such a pregnancy fraud!

YogaMummy2B · 31/01/2011 16:07

Oh same here. Horrid people in work have asked me how the 3 of us are getting along and I have been told I am HUGE on numerous occasions. Then half an hour later someone else could say, wow you are very neat, still got your waist etc etc.
I am spot on in the weight gain charts for both me and the baby!
It annoys the hell out of me that all of a sudden people seem to think they can say what they like to you. Can you imagine turning round to someone you barely know in the workplace and saying - wow haven't you put on the beef! You would be done for harassment before you had time to blink! Yet when you are pregnant apparently you are fair game!
Rant over! :)

BerryLellow · 31/01/2011 16:09

I had it with both pregnancies, and it does really piss you off after a while.

People just have no idea sometimes.

autumnberry · 31/01/2011 16:14

In the past few days I've had several people re-positioning themselves for a good side-on view to make a calculated appraisal. I just think its funny!

FluffyDonkey · 31/01/2011 16:18

Not had it yet (am only 5 weeks ) but last summer I really cringed for my friend.

We were at a wedding and the groom grabbed hold of her (admittedly large) belly and yelled "You're HUGE!!! How do you stand up? When is she coming out? In 3 months time? Well our friend over there is due in 2 days and she isn't half as huge as you are"

I honestly don't know how she didn't punch him.

hoolabombshell · 31/01/2011 16:20

I think it's funny too, people are saying to me "oh, well you're not THAT big" when I know I bloody well am. I must have that wild look in my eye to warn them off

MedicalEd · 31/01/2011 18:15

I hate it too. I am so oversensitive now, it just makes me so upset. I am bang on 'correct' size for gestation but people keep commenting.
I've had people making the beeping noise you hear when lorries are reversing.
They wouldn't comment on your figure any other time so why do they think its acceptable now?

ShowOfHands · 31/01/2011 18:20

I didn't like it when pregnant either.

But I know realistically that the reason so many people encounter it is that people are trying to share your joy with you. They're not saying 'you're fat', they're saying 'wow, look at this amazing thing that's happening to you'. They just suffer from a lack of joined up thinking. I think rarely are people trying to be hurtful.

SarahScot · 31/01/2011 18:25

Doesn't bother me at all to be honest. Compared to how I normally look, yes I am huge. Compared to another PG person, maybe I'm not so huge. Of course people are going to comment, you have a massive and unmissable stomach sticking out in front of you, and some people just say the first thing that pops into their head, or what they think they 'should' say to a PG person.

Magen · 31/01/2011 18:26

I gained over 50 lbs with DD#1 and I am only 5'2. So toward the end anytime I went in public people would stare at me as though I was the first woman on Earth to ever become pregnant. The worst comment came from a little old lady. She looked deceptively sweet, so I kindly indulged her when she asked me when I was due and what I was having. Then the old cow looked at me bewildered, and said, "Oh, so you're NOT having twins?" I am still proud of my self for not scratching her eyes out. People just loose all manners when you're pregnant.

LilRedWG · 31/01/2011 18:33

I was getting fedup of FIL commenting on my increasing stomach size every time I saw him, so the one time just smiled sweetly and replied that, "that's really odd, I was just thinking that about you. SIL got similar treatment when jkoking that I wouldn't fit through a door in her parents porch. They both took the hint. :o

LilRedWG · 31/01/2011 18:35

I was getting fedup of FIL commenting on my increasing stomach size everytime I saw him, so the one time just smiled sweetly and replied that, "that's really odd, I was just thinking that about you".

SIL got similar treatment when joking that I wouldn't fit through a door in her parents porch.

They both took the hint.

OnEdge · 31/01/2011 18:35

You'd be pissed off if people didn't mention it and ignored it altogether, they are just giving you some fuss, its nice.

justmilkpleasenosugar · 31/01/2011 18:36

A friend of mine is due 4 days after me..the last 3 times I've seen her she's said....OH MY GOD YOU'RE HUGE..! Alright love, back off..were at the same stage!

I'm all out the front and she's put weight on everywhere..face, bum etc etc. I know it was mean of me to say but I was so feed up that I made my own comments after the last time.

"Oh really, well I've not put on that much weight (not really true...) and it's all out the front, you'll much more well...spread across the middle. That shut her up!! Cheeky bitch

Maelstrom · 31/01/2011 18:37

I used to find it very flattering, but I am weird.

Firawla · 31/01/2011 18:39

it doesn't bother me, would only be offended if you wasn't pregnant and people say oh you are huge! but in pregnancy you have an excuse to be huge and let's face it towards the end you normally are huge and feel huge, so can be meant in a sympathetic way if people comment. aslong as not done in a snide or purposely rude way i would presume they are just trying to be nice and show interest

BerryLellow · 01/02/2011 07:46

It's not nice. It may not be intended to be rude, but it's certainly not nice. You should be allowed to express it, if the way you are being spoken to upsets you. Not everybody will be the same, but the people that it bothers shouldn't be made to feel precious or hypersensitive. Maybe there are worries about large babies, gestational diabetes, polyhydramnios etc.

FWIW, I think the only sensible thing to say to a pregnant lady is you look lovely/wonderful/glowing etc.

YogaMummy2B · 01/02/2011 08:40

Here, here!
I think I might change my reply to these insensitive people to, 'now, wouldn't it have been nicer to say that I'm glowing!'
Not been at work for 4 days, back today - so no doubt I will be subject to some sophisticated baby 'compliments' this afternoon!!

Laska · 01/02/2011 09:25

I quite like it - the comments that there are major changes going on feel good. No-one is calling me fat - but at nearly 34 weeks I am big, especially compared to how I looked before. I'd be a bit put out if no-one mentioned it to be honest

TrillianAstra · 01/02/2011 09:27

You are pregnant - you are now public property to be commented upon with no regard for the usual social norms.

Are they groping your bump too?

BerryLellow · 01/02/2011 10:45

Oh God, the groping. That's a whole other set of moans :o

LittleMilla · 01/02/2011 11:10

I am 28+3 with my first and comments are making me really paranoid. I have had more than one person ask if they need to "go and get the hot towels" and when I say that it's not due for another three months people just laugh. Nice.

Thing is, I am actually really flipping scared. Starting to worry that it might need to come early. Got a MF appt tomorrow so we'll see what they say...

But yes, just wish people would think how I might be feeling before commenting!

LostInTransmogrification · 01/02/2011 11:16

My favourite comment was by a friend of DH's who walked up to me at work and said 'hello fatty'. How I didn't punch him I'll never know!

LittleMilla · 01/02/2011 11:41

LIT I had that from my cousin! She's always been bigger than me, so I think she's just happy that for once my tum is bigger. Funny thing is...I still weigh less than her

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