Yes of course my belly's getting rounder you fool, that does tend to happen when you're pregnant, and no you can't touch it, now eff off and stop pointing and commenting at full bloody volume!

[MadreInglese]

Well that's what I'd really like to say to all the "ooooooh you're getting a little belly bump now" comments

But instead I just tend to grit my teeth and grin inanely while squeezing out a "hmmm" in reply

Arrghhh I forgot how much your body becomes public property in pregnancy, you wouldn't comment on non-pregnant women getting rounder, would you?? Oh I can't wait for the "OMG you're HUUUUUUUGE" comments later on

Yesterday (to my OH embarrassment) one of his work colleagues touched and rubbed my belly (33 weeks so its obvious), I responded by grabbing her arm, moving it away from my belly and informing her that my belly was not public property. A perfectly reasonable response but my OH was quite embarrassed by this and felt the need to justify my behaviour by informing her that I "didn't like that" and then lying and telling her that even he "wasn't allowed to do that". Slightly awkward moment followed but she won't do it again and I'm willing to bet she'll tell the other female colleagues of my OH and they won't even attempt it.

Tell it like it is. I always reply to comments on my size by telling them "Actually, my MW says I'm a perfect size for my dates". Conversation stopper! There is no reply to that comment. :)

Nice one catherine - I too am 33 weeks. I saw on the excellent March thread that you are due exactly the same day as me.

I have a tiny and neat bump and have to tell everyone who makes a point of it that baby is, in fact, measuring normal. He has just made an early career choice of being a contortionist .

Thankfully nobody touches my bump.

OMG I'm only 23 weeks, it's going to get worse isn't it?!

The most annoying one to date was a male colleague who loudly exclaimed that "oh my, there's no hiding that bump now is there?"

I so want to reply "yes, well spotted, that'll be the BABY growing inside it - what's your excuse?"

LOL

yes, very annoying. Last time I was pg I had a female colleague who has had three kids and is therefore an expert insist to me that my bump had dropped and was definitely lower so therefore the head was engaged and I eevntually told her in no uncertain terms that the midwife saw me the day before and it hadn't. She seemed quite put out.

It is irritating, but people mean well. I don't think I was ever outright rude to someone by forcibly removing their hand from me.

what should people say then?

Someone told me I looked like I was ready to give birth by the size of me, I'm 17 weeks... with twins I grant you but bloody hell!!
But yes... it does get worse actually I don't really notice it anymore, you notice the first couple then you just tune it out!

A friend of mine recommended feeling their stomach right back. They will probably be a bit taken aback and even offended, and will hopefully get the point that it's still rude to invade someone's personal space even if they are pregnant! :-)

Actually Kiki I think it is outright rude to feel you can place your hand on someone's belly. I don't think it is outright rude to remove someone's hand from me. I feel it is a matter of respecting personal boundaries. I am not comfortable with casual acquaintances touching me and I see no reason why that should change because I am pregnant.

To be perfectly honest my own sister doing it to me would result in a comment along the lines of "Do you mind?", and knowing my sister she would probably reply with a sarcastic "Not at all" before apologising and asking if she could touch my belly. I see no reason why I should let of people I barely know for doing something I wouldn't accept from my closest family member. Only my OH is allowed to do this.

Yes, of course it's rude, but I just wouldn't respond in kind.

kiki do educate us as to how one should respond. I think it is not called to say that OP is being outright rude.

I did not say that the OP was being downright rude. I didn't respond at all. I gritted my teeth and smiled because it tended to be older ladies and I was always taught to be respectful.

Gosh, some of you women are really quite hostile.

You did say I was outright rude though for removing the woman's hand of my belly. Hence why I got defensive. (re-read my first post and then yours to see why I might think this).

I suppose I shouldn't remove my pupils hands off me either when they do it? I find the behaviour totally inappropriate. I'm not hostile I just prefer my personal space to be kept personal. Some people feel more protective of their space than others which is probably why it doesn't seem to bother you as much as it does others. Personally it makes me nervous when people I'm not close to are physically in my space. I will not tolerate it to be polite. I don't care how people perceive me for this but if you want to pass judgement on me then I'll respond.

I think also as I am sooo determined not to be the stereotypical ranty hormonal pregnant woman (despite the fact that that's clearly what I have become!) my judgement is clouded as to whether I'm being super-over-sensitive or whether it is rude to poke and comment

Yes, I did say you were rude, Catherine. You are not the OP. But semantics aside, yes, I think you were rude, not only to your husband's colleague, but also indirectly to him. He has to work with these people every day, and I'm not surprised he made excuses for you.

Yes, I know it's annoying. My family occasionally copped it when I'd had enough during my first pregnancy and asked them to please not touch me. I have huge personal space issues and am very uncomfortable with people touching me. But I was also brought up to be polite and I can override my discomfort so as not to embarrass my partner in front of his work colleagues, or be rude to an old lady in the queue in the supermarket.

I'd argue the opposite. It's outright rude to touch someone without asking first and an appropriate response in kind is justified.

If they wouldn't touch you under any other circumstances then they have no business doing it once you are pregnant. Old lady or OH's work colleague alike.

In short; bugger being polite. You have the right not to be poked and prodded like an exhibit and the right to remind people of this if they overstep the mark.

This might sound harsh but I think people have to learn - there are a lot of threads like this where people are a bit uncomfortable being touched but I have yet to see one entitled 'Yay! Touch my bump!'

It doesn't bother me at all when people comment on the bump - mostly they're just making conversation and the subtext is not that they think I'm getting fat.

But touching... that's another matter!

there are worse tings to happen surely than someone recognising your tummy.. i think you can get a bit over sensitive when pregnant.

how are people suppose to act, say congrats and then move on??? i think its awkward and there is no right thing to say which is wy people seem to offend pg women.

i am always happy someone has recognised i am pg and settle in for a chat but i dont know, life is too short i guess...

I would be thrilled if someone noticed and commented on my bump, I am just so pleased to be pregnant and able to walk around! I was on bedrest from 14 weeks with my twins until I had them at 23+5 and I would have loved someone to say 'ooh, you're huge, are you sure it's not twins?' so I could say 'yes it is twins!' excitedly. I am 17+1 with one baby and am currently bigger than when I had my twins already.

When I was pregnant with DS1, some crazy woman started filling my trolley with asparagus and other 'things that are good for baby' in the fruit and veg section of Tesco! That was a bit much for me, not least as I was on a strict budget!

I hate this but I don't really know why.

People are constantly commenting on my bump, how small I am (I don't think it is particularly small actually) and getting me to stand next to my friend who is 14 weeks behind me so they can compare.

Yesterday I was waddling around the supermarket (I am nearly 39 weeks) and the amount of people (and I have to say, nearly all men) just stared at my belly. It made me feel very uncomfortable as if I was walking around naked or something.

My MIL had a habit of grabbing my belly. I hate it, she was told but still groped (and I do mean groped) away even with DH, my FIL and me all telling her to stop. The next time I saw her she said "oh you're getting bigger" then walked towards me with her hand out (waited for DH to leave the room though). I told her firmly that I didn't like it as I moved away and her response was "why?" (because its an invasion of my fucking personal space, thats why!). She hasn't done it since but she still stares and says "is the baby moving" as if I am suddenly going to let her feel if the baby is. Luckily she never has been so I can always say no.

Personally I resent being told that I'm being overly sensitive about people touching me. I am not. I do have issues with my weight and if someone was to rub my belly pre-pregnancy I would probably react in a more hostile and aggressive manner. But since I know that currently it isn't intended to cause me offence I generally just make it clear that I don't like it and it isn't acceptable. I would describe reacting in this manner as being firm and assertive rather than rude. Of course this all depends how you do it but when I remove a hand of my stomach and politely smile as I say "my belly is not public property" that I'm being both polite yet asserting my rights to not have my space invaded. I am sorry that some of you feel that asserting your own rights is rude, I wonder how you deal with other situations where your rights are ignored and it would be cause embarrassment to complain.

As far as comments go about bump they are easy to ignore as I've had one woman tell me my bump is small and half an hour later another tell me its big 3 days after my MW told me it was perfect. People like to say something and replying with "My MW says I'm perfect for my dates" is a way I can politely respond to this without further conversation on the matter. I don't like the discussion on being big or small particularly as I was heavy-ish pre-pregnancy and the fact I've lost weight through my pregnancy does worry me somewhat even though my MW told me that this is perfectly fine due to my pre-pregnancy weight.

oh chill out..

I wouldn't mind providing the person asked if they could touch you - then you can say yes or no depending on how you feel about it. Not had anyone randomly touch yet, not sure how I would react.
I'm the person you talk about catherine saying how do you deal with awkward situations answer? i generally don't I let them do it and then about 6hours later think of some wonderful response I could have used. I think im probably overly polite at times and that causes its own problems! Im easily offended and I am also worried I upset someone.

I generally don't mind the "you're huge" type references; at 30wks I am quite huge, it's a fair comment :)

However, did have to have a word with dh about sil recently who insists on vigorously rubbing my belly for bloody ages whenever I see her. She also started referring to me as "the bump", as in, "we're seeing mike and the bump at the weekend" and I was a bit, well, i'll be there too...

Mil is the maddest though. She took to talking to me via my bump, like this:

Mil: (to bump) well, little special man, would mummy like a coffee?
Me: um... Yes please?
Mil: (to bump) and would mummy like sugar?

Grr. Mad people everywhere :)