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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Should I lie to midwife?

45 replies

loomer · 18/01/2011 16:21

I've just found out that I am pregnant with second baby after nearly three years of trying (DD has just had her fifth birthday!).

However, because I have a very long cycle (around 38 days) I am considering lying about the date of my last AF when I go to see midwife. Since DH and I have been following the 'ins and outs' of my cycle so closely I know for certain the exact day that I conceived, and it was three weeks after my AF. However, the midwife will date me in the assumption that conception was around two weeks after AF like with any 'normal' cycle... meaning that baby's due date will be approximately one week earlier than 'normal'.

Do you think it would be silly to tell her that my AF was a week later than it actually was? FWIW I was totally honest with my first pregnancy, and DD arrived three days before due date.

OP posts:

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LoopyLoopsIsNoLongerFestive · 18/01/2011 16:23

Really silly, as the due date is taken from the 12 week scan not the midwife's workings out.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 18/01/2011 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooBooGlass · 18/01/2011 16:23

No tell the truth. You really really want to avoid induction ime, and with an inaccurate due date they will try and induce far too soon.

Indith · 18/01/2011 16:23

I don't think it matters does it? The dating scan should show an accurate due date and they take that over LMP.

2blessed2bstressed · 18/01/2011 16:26

Tell the truth for goodness sake. Explain like you have here.

Lulumaam · 18/01/2011 16:27

don't lie. your date will be taken from your scan & LMP ...

easier thing to do is to read up about refusal of induction, expectant management and using a site such as AIMS to help you avoid unwanted intervention

also, you're talking a few days here, not weeks

also, the egg can live 24 - 48 hours and sperm 5 days or so, so you might not have pinpointed it as accurately as you think etiehr

state from teh beginning oyu wish yo avoid induction for post maturity until, say, 42 weeks or more...

missnevermind · 18/01/2011 16:28

I had this but with a short cycle.
The midwife gave me a date which I said was incorrect, but all dates are taken from 12 week scan anyway, which confirmed the dates I had.

FoghornLeghorn · 18/01/2011 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

propercrimbo · 18/01/2011 16:30

I couldn't remember when my last lmp was and told the mw that, I did however know the exact date I got my bfp (it was -ve the day before) and so until my scan I had no real idea how pg I was, I thought I was 10 weeks when scanned but I was measuring 8+5 (date of BFP meant this was not possible) but I am having twins so they will measure slightly smaller, there is no point lying to the midwife as the sonographer will tell you how pg you are anyway and your edd will change

oatcake · 18/01/2011 16:31

as a midwife... no point in lying, as the others have said, we ignore LMP for the 12 week scan.

Deliaskis · 18/01/2011 16:32

No don't lie, just tell them what you think. They will adjust your date at scan anyway.

I had the same thing, well wasn't monitoring cycle but was using contraception all but one time, so I know I could not have conceived when the LMP date suggested. My first due date was Feb 10th, and after my 12 week scan (which was actually 10+3) it was put on to Feb 19th.

Only thing to watch for is if you have a situ like me where you are (paying for) having a nuchal scan, make sure the window in which they do the bloods and scan fits with either window as I had to have bloods done twice as first time was too early, and it cost me extra £ (plus was v uncomfortable as nobody can get blood out of me). Might not be relevant to you but just thought I'd mention it.

Eglu · 18/01/2011 16:33

Explain to mw, or just say you don't know when you lmp was.

nowwearefour · 18/01/2011 16:35

ime it DOES affect date of induction so i would just say you dont know. there is a point to not saying when it really was as you might end up being induced a week too soon. scans only adjust if v v different from what the dates indicate so i think is worth not offering hte truth here (though lying is not necessarily a great thing to do, not remembering is perhaps a better way around it)

ivykaty44 · 18/01/2011 16:41

why not tell her what you told all of us and then she can let you know what she thinks

thisisyesterday · 18/01/2011 16:43

they always ask you how long your cycle is anyway

don't treat them like fools. if you tell your midwife that you have a 38 day cycle she can alter it accordingly.

a friend had the exact same issue and her midwife was fine with it

Deliaskis · 18/01/2011 16:43

There's a difference between saying 'I know I conceived on x date' which it's not possible to determine as conception can take place on or after ovulation, and saying 'I know it couldn't possibly have been before x date', which IMO is a much stronger thing to say as it gets the info across that matters. Certainly from my experience they listened when I said that, noted it down, and weren't at all surprised that my scan showed my over a week adrift from the LMP date.

Having said that, saying you don't remember won't do any harm either. Lots of people will have no idea when their LMP was! I wasn't TTC and only knew because it had on this occasion arrived unexpectedly on a long coach journey.

iwouldgoouttonight · 18/01/2011 16:47

I conceived DD in the April and my LMP was the January as I have weird periods. So I just told my midwife that and the date was guessed and then confirmed at the scan. I'd just tell her the truth.

MarniesMummy · 18/01/2011 16:48

Tell the midwife and you should write it on your notes. They are your notes and as such you and other medics looking after you during pregnancy are entitled to write on them.

Keep talking about it (mention it at the 12 week scan and anotate your notes if necessary).

Finally, remember that you cannot be induced against your will. The fact that you have written on your notes (and dated your entries) will help you in your discussion with your Consultant , should you go overdue.

It is your choice to be induced but the best way forward when choosing an induction is if both you and the medics looking after you know all the information available.

HTH

tiredfeet · 18/01/2011 16:50

My midwife was quite happy to accept that I ovulate on day 21 of a five week cycle and use that as the basis for calculating my due date. The scan resulted in an adjustmebt of one day.

Congratulations by the way! It took us ages to conceive ds and I remember that amazing feeling

itshappenedagain · 18/01/2011 16:51

hello have just asked friend...she is a midwife...she said tell midwife about longer cycle, she should be able to factor in, and they will go by scan not LMP for due date.
oh and CONGRATULATIONS!!!

eastegg · 18/01/2011 17:00

BooBoo - if OP lies and says LMP was later than it was, she'd be less likely to get induced, not more likely, as her due date will be a week later.

However, I'm not suggesting that is a reason to lie! I don't think you should, OP. As others have said, if you explain the situation, you're likely to get a date from the scan. Having said that, I wasn't dated from my scan even though I wasn't sure when my LMP was. I think they just stuck with the LMP date because I said I could remember to within 3 days and my cycle was fairly average although a bit on the long side. I thought my date was a bit early but then was only 3 days over when went into labour.

nancerama · 18/01/2011 17:24

As other posters have said. I would tell your midwife everything you've said in your post. I too have long cycles, and combined with the fact that I only actually saw DH for 5 days in August, I knew her dates were out. Unfortunately my protestations fell on deaf ears at booking in, but I guess they have their processes they must follow. My dates were adjusted at my 12 week scan (after I'd been accused if getting my dates wrong). I'm happy with the outcome as I won't be induced 10 days early.

camdancer · 18/01/2011 18:03

The wording I used was "use the date x". You aren't lying but it also means you get a scan at around the right time. At my hospital they will only change your due date at the dating scan if it is over a week different. I don't see why not telling them the exact truth is really a problem.

Changeisagoodthing · 18/01/2011 18:13

Hmmm

I knew the date my son was conceived as dh worked away. Dating scan put it 9 days different and gave me a later due date. He was then induced 2 weeks after that date so probably 3 weeks late. He had jaundice and was very very big.

I was pretty hacked off that they didnt take my word.

yomellamoHelly · 18/01/2011 18:16

I would say I didn't know and make them go from scan. They wouldn't believe me on cycle length - so dd was 5 days late by their measure or 2 days early by mine. (Scan was 1 day later than my date.) Not that it mattered in the end.

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