pregnancy grumps

[AmaranthusRosa]

This is my first message here on mumsnet.

I just want to say a few grumbles I have about pregnancy, aimed at no one in particular, its just little tics ive noticed from society towards pregnant women....and yes im grumpy, if you want to chastise me for my grumpiness, please dont and if you dont want to read grumpyness then please read no further, you have been warned!

I have not given permission for people to touch my bump in public. A growing baby inside my womb does not mean the local community can pat me like a dog. Personal space is sacred.

I am going to whinge, stop telling me I should enjoy pregnancy. As no one knows my medical history or my previous history with babies im entitled to spend all day if i so wish worrying and talking about said worries. I make no apologies for this at all.

Heartburn on several ulcers in the stomach hurts very much if i wake my husband up to make me hot milk as far as im concerned its the least he can do!

To remark whether im 'too big' or 'too small' means nothing other than to show insensitivity towards an anxious mum to be so unless your my midwife..stop commenting on the size or lack of, of my bump.

Im not glowing unless im throwing up, i have spots, greasy hair, horrendous heartburn, spd, bowel problems, worry and im on a small income...stop commenting that im 'looking pale' (im anemaic also) 'looking tired' or telling me "you should be glowing"

Equally annoying are those that say "after pregnancy you will regret not enjoying every minute"

sighs

and yes before anyone comments i should be greatful i am pregnant as many cannot concieve..Im aware of this as i have had much heartbreak in the past with previous pregnancies not making it. My point remains..i cannot be seen to be smiling and baking cookies just because I am pregnant. Im more than greatful and im sure when my baby is in my arms all will be well..but equally im not going to lie and say pregnancy is a dream and im ecstatic about the medical complications/problems its causing!

rant over

Hi there, i can feel your grumpiness! hopefully the rant has helped a bit?! not sure how far along you are, i'm 17 + 2 and as i'm now showing a little, people have started touching my belly and i'm a little perturbed by this and i'm not sure how to respond as sometimes they are people who i know so don't want to be too rude!

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so crap, take some comfort that i am sure there are others on here that are feeling or have felt the same as you at some stage.

I'm being quite open about the fact i am sometimes rather "un-pc" in my views of pg, seems to soften the blow of my then asserting that i am not really enjoying the experience so far!

If all else fails just pretend you are going to vom on them

This is also my first post on mumsnet and I am also very grumpy. Well actually today I've been very weepy too & feeling generally not at one with the pg experience. This sounds bad but the only thing I've found consoling whilst feeling fed up with feeling tired and sick and not 'myself', is other non-pc pg ladies having a rant. So more power to your elbow.

Today I felt really bad that I was just not 'into' this whole experience that I had my first midwife appointment, was having a stressful day with various work and home stuff going on, and when confronted with a bunch of new babies and mums in the waiting room, promptly burst into tears at my appointment and made an utter fool of myself. Great. Midwife was lovely but just feel the pressure that should conform to some ideal of being all happy and grateful but somehow I just don't. I feel ill and worried about future not excited and happy. Hope this will change as I get used to the idea. Everyone'll have me down as bad mum before baby even makes it out of me at this rate.

Hi there - I can relate to every one of these messages! I've been feeling as if I've had a very bad case of PMS for the last month - irritable, snappy, weepy, grumpy and oh so tired. I'm at 11 weeks and if what I've read is correct, these feelings do decrease in the second trimester. I do hope so, otherwise it's going to be a long, long road - not least for my husband who bears the brunt of all this. Does it get better?

I agree with Rootatoot, I don't feel myself or at one with the pregnancy experience. Again, I hope this changes. People talk about 'raging hormones' but it doesn't feel real until you are the one going through it. This isn't what I expected. I thought one felt more 'joy' rather than annoyance/anger at the smallest and most trivial of things. Like the man on the train next to me chewing his gum so loudly, I wanted to ram it down his throat. Not normal behaviour by any stretch.

This is my first post on Mumsnet. I'm English, but live in the US. I looked at some American discussion boards, but couldn't relate. I miss the UK and the connection to the familiar, more so since being pregnant. I suppose it's also to do with being so far from family.

It helps to write and it helps to read there are others out there, even if 5,000 miles away, going through exactly the same. Thanks for listening and hope things improve for all.

I'm at 37 weeks and thoroughly fed up now! Fortunately the only thing that has really bothered me is people asking what the sex is and and what names I have chosen. That's my business!

Come and join us on the Living in the USA thread BritinUSA. There is a good mix of Americans and Brits on there and everyone is always welcome!

Takjennyp - thanks for the tip, I will definitely try to find the USA thread.....

If it helps any, my last pregnancy was totally different in the second half to the first.

Until week 20 I felt knackered and nauseous, and my skin was a mess. Then, overnight, I was full of energy, glowing, and loved the rest of the pregnancy.

Am currently 10 weeks with DC2, with even worse morning sickness than last time and counting down the days to my scan when, all being well, I can then explain to everyone why I've been behaving so strangely.

After that, assuming all is well, I am really hoping my pregnancy is a re-run of last one...could not bear to feel this bad for another six months!

So, it may get better. If not, then take heart that it won't be for long. And once you are holding your baby, the memories will fade.

I am 36 weeks with my first. While delighted to be having a baby, I have found pregnancy to be a litany of minor and not so minor ailments from the very first time I had to take a day off work because I was inexplicably exhausted (without knowing why ...). I am treating it as the price to pay for our ultimately (I hope) lovely baby. I had no idea previously that it was so tough and I think it is difficult for anyone who has not experienced it (including exclusively male colleagues, who have not twigged that I am acutely sensitive to stress at the mo and "maternity leave" means I do not want to be disturbed) to fully understand.

The best bit I think was enjoying feeling the baby move strongly around 6 months. Now she is just a bit too chunky and kicking me in the ribs.

I don't think anyone should feel pressurised to view this as a 100% positive experience. If anyone has a "glowing" pregnancy they are extremely lucky!

BritinUSA, yes it does get better. Hopefully you should find the second trimester easier ? your hormones and tiredness should alleviate. Be careful around 26 weeks though ? lots of people I have spoken to have suddenly found it more difficult to cope with normal routine around that time. I know I did.

Just search in the Living Overseas topic - we should be easy to find in there!

I am now 30+2w, and have a list of grumps larger than my bump-

Turning over in bed feels akin to doing a complicated three point turn

Heartburn sucks and I think I've single handedly increased the value of Gaviscon shares. When is Boots going to do a 3 of the price of 2 on it again?!!!

Sciatica is a pain in the butt (literally)

I am so breathless just getting ready to go out of the house that by the time I'm dressed I'm ready to collapse on the sofa again

Londoners are bloody rude and I hardly ever get offered a seat on the tube (and yes I know I should ask but it's not in my nature!!)

Im too sore to wear bras and have given up on spending a fortune on bras that fit for only 2 weeks. Have instead gone for supportive crop tops and will accept the saggy boobs instead

My DH used to look at the bump adoringly and now that it's ginormous (I'm 5ft and have a baby that's growing on the 95th centile!) it's more of a horrified look.

Watching and feeling the baby move was fun initially but now it's just uncomfrotable and I keep having wrestling matches with the baby and having to push his bum/legs back where it's not too uncomfortable

That's me for now.....

Phew I feel so much better now

It's not easy this pregnancy lark, is it?

hear hear! :o

Well I feel better just reading your posts!

I'm 10 weeks and as much as I love being prg, I have never had so little fun in my life. I just want to have some FUN!!!

My DH is so bored as we don't go out any more and I'm so bored because we don't go out any more. We both love the pub and socialising with friends, but when we get there I feel sooo miserable because a) I can't have much needed alcolholic beverage and b) I can barely keep my eyes open, never mind be fun and strike up interesting in conversation.

I knew of course I knew before we decided to get pg that I wouldn't be able to drink but I didn't know how much that would effect our lives. I feel like such a loser who can't go out without having a drink, but I'm sorry, it's NOT the same and I find it very hard work and pretty boring watching other people. (Plus the offering of non-alcolholic drinks behind the bar is abysmal!)

I'm generally miserable, knackered, spotty, teary or irritable most of the time, so could do with a drink to just chill out and have a much needed laugh with my DH.

I have no intention of it of course, as I know it would be harmful to my unborn baby, it's just a part of our life I miss...a lot.

My rant over. I think I'll feel better when we can tell people and more so when I start to show, as then we'll be able to see some of the result of the work. Happy thoughts.

RugbyWidow7, second your thoughts on the total lack of interesting soft drinks in pubs ? another manky orange juice anyone? Maybe that should be the next Mumsnet campaign .

Amen, everyone.

Pregnancy, not as much 'fun' as promised. On the plus side, at least we don't gestate for years, like elephants!

Haha tell me about it, I keep telling myself "at least I'm not an elephant!"

Seriously though, with only 3 days left to go I'm actually happy to finally see the back of this pregnancy soon.. Sad to say but I'm in immense pain right now, my pelvis hurts with every small movement (started yesterday) I even almost wet myself during the night because I was in the worst pain ever I couldn't get up!

I also feel sorry for my OH. He can't take my moodiness/bitchiness any longer so.. However, I heard your still on a rollercoaster with your hormones after you give birth so poor him!

I shouldn't complain though as the only thing I've suffered with during this pregnancy is nausea.. Nothing else.

BUT I can't wait until the looks from strangers stop, the constant touching stops, the constant questions like "what are you having? Oo any names? Why did you find out, wouldn't a suprise have been better? Was it planned?"

KnockedUpMell (or anyone else suffering from heartburn) you can get Gaviscon for free as part of the Minor Ailments scheme, which you are entitled to while you get free prescriptions. I only found out about it this week (I'm 35 weeks and have been suffering the whole time). They're only allowed to give you the crappy small bottles (which last me about a bloody day) but you can get it when you need it. You are supposed to be able to get them on prescription but my MW didn't prescribe me any when I mentioned it! Grr!

My pelvis is exactly the same Chloe and I can barely walk now. Pushing a trolley round the supermarket was such hard work I thought I was going to collapse. Oh well, only 2 weeks to go!

I loved reading your rants. It all sounds so familiar. I have my days where I rant about how much I hate pregnancy and other days where it treats me well. Unfortunately the former out numbers the latter about 30 to 1.

I'm 32 weeks now and loving my bump and for the first time in my life my figure. Although I never "bloomed" either: spots, greasy hair and painful joints. I keep telling myself it will all be worth it when I look at the pile of baby clothes I have waiting for our LO.

WanderingSheep - subtle hints get you nothing. I hinted at my GP and she said "oh that's just a part of pregnancy", I thought for a moment and realized she'd finished that thought completely so then replied with "Can I have a prescription for Gaviscon too then? its costing me a fortune." She said nothing but just printed one out for me for an extra large bottle. If you don't ask you don't get! I didn't realize a MW could give you prescriptions. I might ask next time I'm there as my bottle has nearly run out.

first Congratulations !!

I was evil when i was pregnant could have eaten someone raw,
I hated preganancy but still get broody lol

Don't listen to all that stuff, every pregnancy varies so much.

I found a polite smile always worked xoxo

tadjennyp arr I feel sorry for us, hopefully the 2 weeks fly by for you :)

I'm hoping the midwife takes pity on me and gives me a sweep straight away if I go overdue instead of waiting the 10 days.. Can't wait any longer :(

tadjennyp arr I feel sorry for us, hopefully the 2 weeks fly by for you :)

I'm hoping the midwife takes pity on me and gives me a sweep straight away if I go overdue instead of waiting the 10 days.. Can't wait any longer :(

Thanks chloe - you too!

Good Morning!

This thread is great, i'm so pleased i'm not the only one feeling like this.

I'm 23wks+2 and i thought my emotions/hormones would get better in the 2nd trimester, but it was not to be. In fact i think they've got worse, i've been getting so angry.

As for the Blooming lark, by nails and hair have grown, but i have more spots that a 16yrs old and i'm getting them on my chest back and face, so as for as blooming goes i'm starting to think its a load of C**p!!

Final part of my rant, i'm sick of people looking at me weird when i say i'm not excited, don't like answering personal questions and don't touch the bump unless invited!!

Hope you all have a good day.
Tibbo xx

What really annoys me Tibbo is peoples constant questions about if I'm scared of giving birth. Do they not realize that my whole life is about to change from being about me to being about my daughter, a major life changing event which means nothing will ever be the same again. Personally I think that is more scary.