pregnancy grumps

[AmaranthusRosa]

This is my first message here on mumsnet.

I just want to say a few grumbles I have about pregnancy, aimed at no one in particular, its just little tics ive noticed from society towards pregnant women....and yes im grumpy, if you want to chastise me for my grumpiness, please dont and if you dont want to read grumpyness then please read no further, you have been warned!

I have not given permission for people to touch my bump in public. A growing baby inside my womb does not mean the local community can pat me like a dog. Personal space is sacred.

I am going to whinge, stop telling me I should enjoy pregnancy. As no one knows my medical history or my previous history with babies im entitled to spend all day if i so wish worrying and talking about said worries. I make no apologies for this at all.

Heartburn on several ulcers in the stomach hurts very much if i wake my husband up to make me hot milk as far as im concerned its the least he can do!

To remark whether im 'too big' or 'too small' means nothing other than to show insensitivity towards an anxious mum to be so unless your my midwife..stop commenting on the size or lack of, of my bump.

Im not glowing unless im throwing up, i have spots, greasy hair, horrendous heartburn, spd, bowel problems, worry and im on a small income...stop commenting that im 'looking pale' (im anemaic also) 'looking tired' or telling me "you should be glowing"

Equally annoying are those that say "after pregnancy you will regret not enjoying every minute"

sighs

I know the feeling! the other day I walked from one end of the office to the other, on this short journey I had a "your looking tired" and "your looking big" comment. I know its people showing they care but when its all day every day it gets a bit much. similarly I know that I'd be put out if no one said anything even though them feeling they have the right to comment on me annoys me.

At 23, I'm the first person out of my friends to fall pregnant, and at times I love it and I'm always very grateful and excited, but some seem to hate that I don't think pregnancy is amazing all the time. To be honest, if I could pretend it was I wouldn't as I felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt as everyone who had babies had nothing bad to say about being pregnant and when my friends do ecperience the joy of falling pregnant, I want them to feel like its ok not to love every second of it.

ahh a rant does help love the thread:)

I am 15 weeks 1 day and I have a small bump so just look fatter to the unknowing eye...however I HATE that when u share your news with certain people they touch, rub or even shake your belly!??!!? Am dreading when more people feel inclined to do that later on when I'm obviously pregnant!

Why do people do that?

Right lets see:-

Heartburn - Check
SPD - Check
Unsypathetic work colleagues who just tell me to get on with it - Check
Strech Marks - Check
Swollen limbs - Check
Acne - Check
The inability to walk normally - Check
Boobs the size of beachballs - Check
Leaking, cracked bleeding nipples - Check
Uncontrolable crying - Check
Insomnia - Check
Lack of bloom - Check
Borderline incontinence - Check

I bloody love being pregnant! 12 weeks to go :o

Hello, I'm new to Mumsnet (and to the whole Mum thing!) and I've had an informative couple of weeks reading the threads on here.

I'm soooo pleased I'm not the only one to feel non-excited and grumpy about being pregnant. I'm 10 weeks and into 5th week of 'morning' sickness. I'm so over being constantly sick especially as the tablets the doctor gave me stopped working.

Of course I'm pleased, especially as I mc the first, but its hard to feel excited when I spend most of my time looking at the porcelain. I have had to tell people a lot sooner than I wanted simply because I was so ill. Yes I know this is a good sign, yes I know it will pass (perhaps with birth!), and yes I've tried ginger in many forms and now the smell of it is enough to set me off.

Oh it feels good to let it all out (bad phrasing under the circumstances)

Poor you Rozee, but at least you haven't got the bladder control issue too. When I had my morning sickness in the first trimester (and half of the second) I had to be sick into a bucket while sat up to prevent any little "accidents". If I was bent over the toilet while being sick I just didn't have the control to stop it

And welcome to Mumsnet Pregnancy Forum, where the definition of TMI is different than the rest of the world!

Oh, and ginger didn't work for me either. Digestive biscuits did though - only half at a time though as eating when you feel sick isn't exactly easy. I hope it goes away for you soon!

Thanks 1C1. Glad to be here :-)

I shall defintiely be grateful for the bladder control!

This is great...very refreshing! I have spent most of the pregnancy feeling I should not moan as have had not so good last pregnancy when had premature labour and my current notes are reaching epic proportions. I have however hit the wall or it hit me!

I feel like my second home is the antenatal ward and I should start paying into the tea fund. Kicked of with vomiting, I have had pain throughout pregnancy due to previous surgeries. Had flu, chest infection and asthma attack, that started labour which meant days in hospital trying to stop labour, and asthma attack etc. Very lucky as stopped but now have daily niggly painful tightenings and feel like a ticking time bomb. Now 33 weeks, have felt like have been on house arrest for the past 3 months!

My skin is blooming and everyone seems to think that means I must feel great!! and yes one more person touches the bump and I think I will explode as bump painful!!!

Starting to feel like I have the turning circle of a tanker, bladder is still mine at the moment! Lost my mind a while ago :)

Now reading this I have to laugh as still every second is going to be worth it and bump kicked me and although its uncomfortable it made me smile!! :o

Happy grumpy days

I did think I was alone in finding the whole thing fairly unpleasant, but it turns out that most of my friends disliked being pregnant too. Hurray! Two of them would like more children but just can't face going through pregnancy again - nature's real contraception!

By the way, if someone rubs your bump uninvited try just rubbing their belly right back. It's quite a nice way of kindly demonstrating how invasive it is.

Hello
This made me laugh. Havent got the weird touching of the bump yet thank goodness but have had the following:
All day nausea in weeks 7 to 15
Most of the day vomiting weeks 12 to 15
Was feeling better in week 17 only to get winter vomiting bug (last weekend)
Recovered from that only to get cold and sore throat in week 18.
Have been up since 430am as can't breathe through my nose and can't take anything sensible to feel better!
Now got weird rash on my cheeks which appeared overnight. If I put my hair in pigtails I would look like a fancy dress school girl...

Oh and have turned into a right bad tempered moo.
Note boyfriend saying to me yesterday "shall I buy a chocolate tart to cheer you up?"
Me: "I don't care, why are you asking me?".

Sigh am only week 18...

Tibbo81 - I wonder if what you are feeling is what Balena was talking about.... difficulty coping around the twenty six week mark. I know you are only at 23, but this could I suppose be 'another wave'.

I find the mood swings the most difficult to cope with. Nausea I can deal with (and I know some women have it a lot worse, so I know I am not speaking for everyone) but the change in temperament from one moment to the next is really hard to manage. Particularly for DH!

Just realized I only read page 1 of the 2 pages of posts....not too bright. Hope I didn't come across as flippant with the 'handle the nausea' comment, it wasn't intended. I suppose some of us just get some of the symptoms worse than others... mine just happen to be the mood swings and raging hormones. We'll see what is in store later, I'm at Week 12. Glasvegas talked about vomiting from weeks 12 - 15! Feel better :)

Can I also say, after a long day at work, it is so reassuring to read that you are NOT the only one going through all of this. Rarely do people talk openly about the realities of being pregnant, most people use words like 'joy' and 'excited' which are true, but only in between being ready to lunge at your office colleague for speaking too loudly on the phone or having to race walk to the bathroom!

I am also suffering pregnancy grumps. Again I'm over the moon to be having a baby - I just wish the pregnancy bit wasn't a requirement. As one of my friends said the other day - why can't babies just be delivered by the stork like they're supposed to.

I'm nearly 20 weeks and feeling unbelievably hormonal - went to the physio dept today (really suffering with SPD). One of the people in the waiting room was playingon his mobile phone with the sound turned up and it was really loud. I felt like dashing over there and ramming it down his throat (if only I could dash anywhere these days). I'm usually such a tolerant person .

I also burst into tears during the appt when the physio said well there's not much I can do (no offer of a support brace or anything) and just offered different suggestions to ways of getting out of bed and a couple of exercises that didn't really make any sense. Maybe today wasn't the best day to go. I suppose it can only get better.

I just love it so much when people say "it'll only get worse!" and the like. I also really enjoy random colleagues stroking my belly. And the personal questions from near-strangers, it's jsut so... free-ing... to ignore normal social conventions, isn't it?

Bastards.

As for the heartburn, the reflux, the aches, the constant need to pee, the breathlessness.... it's all true, it really is just such a fucking magical fucking time!

Well, this week I have been up and down. Saw midwife again (after my total breakdown at our first meeting - embarassing) for booking appointment and should be getting scan and nuchal translucency scan date through soon. Apart from hormones which i think are going a bit doolalley, I think I get waves of feeling down just cos I feel sick most of the time. I've never been good if I'm tired /hungry but because I feel sick I think I am tired and hungry quite a lot. Figured out though that if I don't have to think about cooking it, then I am happy to eat it. The supermarket shop is horrific as I just want to throw up at all the 'inviting' smells they pump out at the various counters. I kind of grabbed a load of fruit smoothies, ready meals, boiled sweets and got the heck out of there. Sounds bad cos I am usually a stickler for home cooking, but felt great after eating my ready made lasagne tonight, followed by some fab ice-cream.

So after being such a misery last week, thought I'd just say there are some ups as well as downs and maybe I'm just learning to deal with sickiness better. Though I await all the next delights of course.

This thread has been great. I posted when feeling really down and when I went back to see other comments, it was really good to feel not so alone with these negative feelings. Perhaps i am normal after all!?

Rootatoot - I think definitely normal! Pregnancy seems to be the biggest roller coaster of highs, lows and sometime downright bizarre experiences I have ever had and now realising this is only the beginning!

BritinUSA i think you maybe right, although i do have an idea about whats causng my anger!!

The only thing i can say is that so far ive not lost my temper with anyone!

My only other moan (for today!!) is i feel like my husband is constantly watching what i eat and how much! its even got the point whereby i feel guilty and dread eating in front of himbecause i get this constant "do you need to eat that look from him or he tells me i'll get fat!!!

Normally he gets told where to go, but i'm seriously about to floor him if mentions it again!!

So glad it's not me. I'm not even having a "difficult" pregnancy and I hate it. I hate not feeling like myself and having to buy a whole new wardrove from a very small selection of clothes. I hate being tired all the time because either I'm just pregnant-tired or because I can't sleep (I do have bad hip/butt pain).

But mostly I loathe not feeling like myself. I'm 23 weeks so well past that horrible pre 12 week feeling, but I still don't feel quite normal. I'm less perky, less interested in the world etc etc. And I have to be all enthusiastic at work.

Thankfully I have the world's best DH who when I finally dragged myself home last night made me a toasted cheese sandwich and ran me a bath, while simultaneously feeding the cat, cleaning the kitchen and tidying the lounge.

I'm with you there Bling. I would have sunk into complete misery and helplessness without my lovely OH. Of course I wouldn't be pregnant without my OH...

Hi this is my first post on mumsnet.

These posts have made me feel so much better- am 11 weeks in and am feeling fed up, ill and bored!

So tired and ill - keep missing all the fun nights out with friends - particularly difficult over Christmas and new year.

Also I can't explain to anyone why am so anti-social and ill all the time- Makes me feel like I'm lying to everyone!

Thanks for all the honest comments!

Have just read this thread and this its great we are all having a similar rant. The next person who tells me im having a big baby because I look massive will feel my wrath!

Im 26 weeks now and im hating this pregnancy more than when I was pregnant with my twins but it'll all be worth it.