Waters have broken at 28 weeks - we're in America!

[Southsearocks]

I've come over to the US for a two week holiday to my partner's family. No problems at all in this pregnancy (my first). Then yesterday morning the waters broke! I've been admitted to a local hospital and although me and baby are fine we'll be here for the duration. It's likely to be three months! Baby could come any time between now and full term so we're keeping everything crossed (including my legs of course) it stays in as long as possible. Either way we're not able to fly home for a looong time...

Our baby will be coming back to the UK an American citizen - how about that?

Pray the insurance works out for us!!

Hi Southsea, I am the mum of of an ex 27+5 preemie who is now 5. I spent 2 and a half weeks on bed rest before she came on so although I didn't have PROM I do know what it is like to watch the clock tick...but that said 29+3 is good, as every day makes a very tangible difference at this stage.

Re your birth preferences, I understand that most of the evidence on very prem babies (ie 28-32 weeks) suggests that vaginal birth is in fact helpful as they are better primed for the outside world so certainly in the UK if he is head down VB would be supported.

I would also really encourage you to ask questions as to how your hospital supports feeding. if you want to read up on breastfeeding a prem, BLISS, the UK charity for prem babies do an excellent booklet which you can download.

There is also a good book called Breastfeeding Your Premature Baby by Gwen Gotsch which is produced by La Leche League and I think also reflects US hospital practice.

I would also recommend a copy of DR Sears (american baby guru-type family) Premature Baby Book - loads of good stuff and also contains stuff on US hospital practices.

Please, please also get some clarity on your insurance position if only so you don't have to deal with that too on lo's arrival. Between my daughter and I we spent 80+ days as inpatients and I have never before been so grateful for the NHS.

Hope all stays nice and quiet, do also visit the board at www.blissmessageboard.org.uk as there are others who have lived through this too.

Southsea, glad to hear a VB has not been ruled out .

I would say though, having had an unavoidable CS due to a low lying placenta covering the exit, it was a lovely birth experience. The staff were amazing and it was all very calm and skin to skin straight after (and b/f for a year). So much so in fact that i chose an elective the second time which was possibly better as the anaesthaetist was making me laugh and transpired when i looked at my camera that he had taken pics of DD2 being born. There is NO reason not to feel like an amazing mother just because an hour or so of the baby's life is slightly different from how you might have imagined.

The nurses sound so lovely and supportive BTW, and i am sure this will continue through the birth and beyond

The nurses sound lovely, which really must help you not to feel as much stress. With regards to the type of birth, I had epidurals both times with mine. Both times I wanted it as natural as possible but with The first things stalled and I was in too much pain. For the second, the contractions came thick and fast and I couldn't cope with pain. My phone battery is going to die so I'll finish this in a while.

Hi there. Have been following this amazing story. Can't offer much useful but thought you might value some additional reading material (I would be so bored in your position! Thank god for that DVD player!!).

I couldn't have an epidural for long-standing past health reasons. Of course this meant that I was TERRIFIED at the prospect of giving birth without one and the obstetrician I was referred to (in the UK) seemed to be convinced I wouldn't get thru labour without one. In the event, when I gave birth to DS I had an incredibly swift labour - 5 hours from first contraction to birth and the first 3 hours was like mild period pain, so only 2 hours of pain really which is totally and utterly deal-able-with. So I had no drugs at all. However, and it is a big however, this was only because it was so quick - by the end of those 2 painful hours I was begging for pain relief but fortunately was 10cm dilated so had to just get on with the final pushing stage (half hour for me - again, quite lucky). If I'd had a longer labour I would have definitely needed more. The whole experience taught me that there are lots of genetic/physiological reasons behind why some women have drugs and others don't and some people are more able to mentally deal with it too - it's not just about some people being able to tough it out more than others. You can have an idea about how well you deal with pain normally etc which might give you some idea of how well you might mentally deal with the pain however, you probably can't predict how quickly your body will get on with getting the baby out (though I'm told this is somewhat genetic - so the length of your mum's labour(s) may be indicative).

So my advice would be to keep an open mind and make a decision based on how you are feeling at the time. I have friends who went through 60 hours of labour without pain relief - I can say with some certainty that I would not have been able to do this event though my pain threshold is quite high - however my very mentally tough friends were able to manage it and you may fit into this category. I understand that labour can be a bit easier with smaller babies too (particularly pushing stage of course) - a friend of mine quite straightforwardly gave birth to a breach baby at 35 weeks last year.

And as PPs have said - how the baby arrives is all, for the most part, irrelevant once the baby arrives. However, I obsessively read every birth story I could get my hands on during the weeks leading up to DS's birth so I understand your interest!!

Will be following with interest and rooting for you.

Woah that was long. Sorry!

I've only just seen this thread but wishing you all the luck in the world! I've got everything crossed for you!

Hi there, I happened upon your thread and just wanted to wish you the best of luck.

Someone else gave you a tip about getting a teddy bear for yourself, and it reminded me of something a friend who had a premature baby did which she said helped her. After her waters broke early, she kept this particular muslin cloth with her at all times, on her skin, and slept with it for the few nights before her labour started. When the baby was born and taken to special care, she asked for the muslin to be put into the baby's cot so that he would have the familiar (and hopefully comforting) smell of Mommy with him.

I realise that there may be issues to do with sterile environment, risk of contamination etc., depending on how early the baby is and what the policy of the hospital is, but the U.S. hospital my friend delivered in were very supportive and it really did make a difference for her.

As an American it has been good to read that you're being treated well! Our health care system is a disgrace in terms of inequality, expense and bureaucracy (hopefully your insurance means that you won't have to worry about that), but in my experience the people actually providing the care can very seldom be faulted. Nurses especially.

I am looking forward to hearing happy news about baby Southsea!

Okay, my phone is charged again. I wanted to say that both times I wanted to do things as naturally as possible. I tried gas and air both times but hated it. I don't think I was using it right the first time, but the second time I was. It made me horribly light headed, and as a result I ended up lying on my side which was hugely painful for the contractions. I did use a tens machine both times too and I'd really suggest you consided getting one. The first time my temp machine was borrowed and not specifically for pregnancy and it was amazing. The second time I had to hire one and it was rubbish. But it may have been due to the fact that the contractions were so close. But if you want to go without pain relief as far as you can, it is worth a try. Part three is coming up. I need to go to sleep until my next breast feeding wake up call!

SEA - I've only just seen your thread - what a for you!!! I have only read your and not the replies (sorry bods). You sound like you are holding up really well and staying positive.

The nurses sound lovely :) I am sure they are finding you so lovely as a patient that you are reward enough - but I guess some choccy's never hurt :)

How have DH's work been?

Is everything OK with the cat/house etc?

Your poor Mum & Dad, I bet they're so upset that you are so far away and are likely to be for sometime :(

Have you heard from the insurance company yet? As you had your Drs note, you told them how far along you were and didn't have any comps before you left I think you should be just fine - but it would be nice to hear it from the horses mouth wouldn't it!!

Just seen this thread and wanted to add my good luck message.
My sister went into labour at 28 wks with her first which they staved off until he was born at 31 weeks.

Now a strapping 9 year old

Did you say you do or don't have an I phone or I pad? If you do get words with friends which is a scrabble game and very addictive.

Sending you big positive vibes from uk we are rooting for you here

Yay for 29+3! And it's lovely to see you sound so positive about all of this.

I gave birth to DS2 in the USA and didn't have an epidural. And since there was no G&A I didn't have any other pain relief. (I am obviously a bit reluctant to try New Things.) The doctor was about this but was pretty happy to go along with it because I was forrin and therefore to be humoured. So at the birth I had my OBGYN plus a room full of nurses who had never seen such a thing before (an active birth, not my fanjo ).

I did have a tens machine and used hypnobirthing though. Thumbs up for both of those. In fact I had to get a tens machine sent over from the UK as it was easier than trying to find a maternity tens locally. I still have it and would be happy to post it up to you if you want it? I don't know if the sticky pads are universal or if we'd need to get you new ones from the UK (was from Superdrug).

Hi Southsea
Been following your thread and wanted to add my well wishes.

Glad to hear you are being well taken care of, the nurses sound lovely.

Get yourself an iPad if you can, you can play games, download TV series, MNm email etc.

Okay, final bit hopefully. Just to say, the tens machine I used the first time that was so amazing wasn't a maternity one.

The other thing I wanted to say was about the epidurals. Personally, having them was The right choice for me each time. But there are differences in the type of epidural you can have. The first time it was a normal one and delivery was over in three pushes because the baby had become distressed as the cord was round her neck so she was forceped. Nothing to do with the epidural though. But it was a standard epidural and I couldn't feel much. The second time I had what is called a mobile epidural. This one I controlled with a button and basically I could feel my legs throughout. They told me once I got to 9-10 cms dilated ideally I shouldn't top it up so I could push more easily. This one wasn't quite so effective for the pain because it had gone into one side more than the other, But when I was lying in the right position it was still totally effective. But the amazing thing about the mobile variety was that when I was fully dilated, and didn't top it up, although it did start to hurt, it was nowhere near much as without it (I am assuming because it was way less than earlier) but I could actually still feel everything. I was able to push really effectively, and so from when I started pushing it took 10 minutes. ANd it was a wonderful experience being able to feel everything. It was a shamefully designer birth. ANd I was able to get up and have a shower after. SO, the point of all this is that even if you ideally want to try without an epidural, I would still discuss the options with them in advance so if you do decide to go for it, you know in advance what it will be like. And, although the mobile one was amazing, for me the normal one was still better than none.

The other thing you might want to find out about is skin to skin contact after birth and breast feeding. I have no idea what the implications might be for you and your little bean being early, so it might not be advisable in the same way, but it might be worth knowing what the possibilities would be.

But, however the birth happens, I echo what someone else says, all mummies are super heros.

Hi Southsea well a wee update baby Cormac born on Tuesday at 34+2 he had no fluid around him at all so I was induced. Eveything was fine and he is doing well on scbu. Hope you are doing ok x

Hi Southsea - hope you had a quiet night!

A few more thoughts...
Re pain relief/birth - by the time the midwives took any notice of me writhing around in pain (I think they thought I was a drama queen!), my contractions were

fannybaws - that's brilliant! Congratulations! Funnily enough Cormac is one of the names on our list too

Hello to all and thank you again. Your posts are so helpful and informative. I'm going to ask about different types of epidural and what the alternatives are and get a better picture of what will happen. I like the sound of a mobile epidural but I think you are right that they will want to monitor throughout - I should find out now and will ask the doctor when he comes in tomorrow.

A lady was admitted during the night. I heard her screaming "But I can't walk!" as she was led down the corridor and the nurse telling her she had to walk! 11 minutes later her baby was born! The nurse told me she had to be strict or the woman would have given birth in the corridor I think she came in under police escort and it was one of the quickest deliverys they've had.

I've had a pretty bad night I have to say. I look forward to 10pm because that's the time to get unhooked and get some sleep, and the last two hours from 8pm really drag. So last night come 10pm I buzzed the nurses station and asked to come off the monitor, but was told I needed to stay on until 11pm. I didn't know but the lovely night nurse just wanted me to do an extra hour on her shift and then she'd let me sleep through to 5am. But for me it was the straw that broke the camel's back. So I ended up in floods of tears and she found me in a snotty mess and took me off right away. I called at 3.30am to say I was ready to do another hour, which would have been fine, but then I turned on my side for a while which caused the heart rate to appear to dip (it turns out it was picking up mine, not the baby's) so to be safe I stayed on the monitor longer, and by 6am was in pieces again. It probably doesn't sound much but I can't lie on my side unless someone comes in to change the position of the sensors, and having the bands around your tum all the time is quite uncomfortable and restricting, and I'm so achy in my hips and back from lying down all the time. So night time is the time I can curl up on my side and feel free.

Anyway, the doctor came in this morning. We had a chat and we're going back to doing an hour of monitoring per shift - bliss! AND I'm going to be allowed out of the ward! So when DP comes in he can wheel me down to the shop or the canteen - what a treat!!

All you naughty iPadders - my SIL and another friend are also doing a Mrs Doyle and I may break at this rate. But then I think I'll get one and the baby will arrive! So am thinking on it. I'll discuss with DP. 16 or 32gb? Just out of curiosity....

Just to answer a few questions. As far as I know insurance is definately sorted and the medical team have phoned to say they are talking to the hospital regularly for updates. But you are right and I need to ensure baby is covered too as an individual.

DP is able to work remotely so doesn't have to go back until after the baby is born, which is a huge relief. I work as a community nurse in children's mental health and learning disabilities, so luckily my work place is very understanding! I had about 6 weeks left to tie up loose ends but the team I work in are all on the case. And Catty (the cat) has gone on holiday to stay with a friend and looks, from what I could see on Skype, as relaxed and happy as a cat can be. I hope he will want to come back because we both miss him.

And parents are worried but my mum even managed to Skype last night without the help of my dad, which is just amazing! AND she's learning to send texts . So although they are far away we feel quite close. My brother will be coming out at the end of January too.

I would so like to reply to you as individuals because I'm taking on board every single post, and I can't use time as an excuse but it's surprisingly difficult to concentrate on any one thing for any length of time. I don't know why. Even talking to people on Skype is actually quite hard work when it should be a breeze. But please know I am appreciating all your messages, every one of them. I don't feel I deserve all this attention but it is jolly nice to know you are there back home and here in the US. I think somebody said what a great record of events this will be when we get out of here.

I've asked for the bunny-in-a-carrot-car soft toy to be brought in. It was a Christmas present for the baby and the only soft toy we have (although I love it) . I can't wait to get out and go shopping!!

Phew - sorry for the length of this message

Oh, Southsea, I'm so glad you're holding up. I think you're being so incredibly brave coping with all this.

I have tears in my eyes thinking about Catty, and I don't even have cats!

I didn't have an epidural when I gave birth. I had g&a and pethidine. Hope they can give you some good advice there. I'd agree with other posters about being as active as possible, and don't rule anything out. Obviously you're not going to get the birth you originally thought, but I hope you can make the best of it.

You're doing so well. Keep going!

Hey Southsea, i have been following your thread and quietly routing for you and your baby. I was thinking that you sound like you are coping amazingly well with everything and you are allowed the odd "crumble" every now and then. I am pg with my first - 15w 5d and until I saw your thread i hadn't really thought about premmie babies so selfishly, thank you for opening my eyes.

I also wanted to offer you my support and cyber hugs. I was in the US 2 years ago on holiday and suffered a massive asthma attack which required an admission to ICU. Unfortunately my friend i was travelling with had to carry on home so i was completely on my lonesome at the time so I can imagine a little bit about how you are feeling being apart from your friends and family (and Catty). That said, it sounds like you are being really well looked after and the wonders of modern technology are allowing you to keep in contact with the outside world which i think is fab.

Keep up the fantastic incubating, you are doing great and I will continue to keep an eye on how you are. If I can do anything from rural Surrey (I did used to live in Southsea!!) then please shout xxx

Hi Southsea

My 31 weeker is at Uni now. I wanted to say please do take note of the breast feeding help given above- I never had much milk it seemed, but I did manage to express into which thenwas put into tubes and fed up her nose. But evenutally I could feed her - and in the end brought her home and breastfed for a year. It is so worth persevering, even when you feel all tearful and rubbish! Best of luck to you.

my 32gb WiFi only iPad seems ample for my needs...

Hi

Good news about the reduced monitoring!! It's horrible being made to stay in one position and being strapped up. Nice to know you can move around and even go to the cafe!

Everything & everyone seem(s) to be ticking along quite nicely.

Most importantly bump is staying a bump

Please don't feel like you have to respond to all the posts/questions - it's nice just to have the updates when you are feeling up to it and definitely don't apologise for the length of them - the longer the better!!

Look after yourself (if this means buying an ipad... well...:) )

Great that you are getting to move about a bit. And LOL at your Mum learning to txt and Skype. Good on her.

We have a 64gb iPad, but only cause the 32gb one was sold out when DH was in the States. Just for your information. :)

i've been following your thread and am so pleased to see that things seem to be going along ok for you.

i spent 5 weeks in hospital before dd2 was born so have some idea what you're going through (not in america though!)

every day seemed like an age to get through but at the same time it was such an achievement to get through another day with her still safely inside me. i can remember becoming very institutionalised and routine based - my life revolved around meal times and the same tv programmes. funnily enough weekends were the worst as everything seemed to change so much then. i lived for visiting hours and was beyond excited to hear footsteps approaching my room at 3.00pm and 7.00pm.

dd2 was finally born at 27 weeks - we spent a further 11 weeks being even more institutionalised in scbu and she's now a happy, healthy 4 year old. and if you can reach it, ds and dd1 were both 31 weekers who were in scbu for less than 4 weeks each.

every extra day, tedious as they seem, is so worth it.

following you too, well done so far, i had ds at 27 weeks so you are doing very well x

Hi there, thinking of you - I hope tonight will be a better night. Am in work, will check in at lunch, just wanted to see how you are!