Waters have broken at 28 weeks - we're in America!

[Southsearocks]

I've come over to the US for a two week holiday to my partner's family. No problems at all in this pregnancy (my first). Then yesterday morning the waters broke! I've been admitted to a local hospital and although me and baby are fine we'll be here for the duration. It's likely to be three months! Baby could come any time between now and full term so we're keeping everything crossed (including my legs of course) it stays in as long as possible. Either way we're not able to fly home for a looong time...

Our baby will be coming back to the UK an American citizen - how about that?

Pray the insurance works out for us!!

Hi southsea, just wanted to add my best wishes for what must be a really stressful situation.

Can I also just say wow about your care in the hospital. I've never been admitted to hospital before birth, but after birth the poor midwives have been so busy they would never have had time to chat about tv programmes or baby books. what a lovely gesture that was! I hope you're writing it all down so you can tell your LO what a lot of excitement he/she caused :o

I would echo the others saying don't feel too upset if you don't get your vb... motherhood is sooooo much more than giving birth. It's just a teeeny weeeeny part of it. It feels like the biggest part of it when you're pg with your first but really it's everything you do afterwards too!

good luck, I hope you make it to your next goal!

Southsea, can they not keep you on low-level antibiotics? If taking you off them means starting labour? Sorry if that's an ignorant question. This is outside my area of expertise :)

Fantastic news well done you.

hi, was reading this thread the other night but my internet went so i couldn't comment.

congrats on getting to 29 weeks :) every day from now on makes a difference...

good luck :)

By the way, if you're bored and have an iPod, iPad or iPhone, can I second Angry Birds? Or Sky Patrol. Bloody addictive!!!

Glad your doing ok and just think after you could print this thread out add to your baby book

Hi Southsea - just wanted to come on here and wish you enormous luck. Been following your thread, and as I am 30 weeks, so pretty similar to you, it really struck a chord. Please don't worry about feeling 'ambivalent'/not bonding with baby - I didn't feel very much before DS was born, or indeed the day he was born. He had to spend some time in SCBU and I really felt very detached from the whole 'drama'. A few hours later, and certainly the next day, I felt like I was having the biggest, most intense love affair, and even now that he is in the throes of toddlerdom, I love him more than anything in the whole wide world. (NOw I am worrying how I can possibly love my next child so much!)
Anyway - a diversion! I'm glad the hospital are looking after your well, and well done for making it to 29 weeks. Keep us posted.

southsea - good luck x

Hi Southsea- glad you are still hanging in there. Just a couple of thoughts from your last post... I know that VB is what you want but with one so tiny is it worth discussing a CS with the docs? VB was not even mentioned as a possibility with my son because of his fragility and that was in the UK. I guess I am surprised that it is an option in the more medicalised US. But of course your baby is bigger and circs are different so feel free to tell me to butt out

Also re bonding- when I knew DS would be born early I wrote him a couple of letters, telling him how much I loved him and encouraging him to fight. I like looking at them now because I felt a bit detached when he was born and it reminds me how much I did love him.

Will be checking in tomorrow! Have a good day Southsea.

Southsea If they don't want to start labour, why aren't they keeping you on the antibiotics? Sorry to be redundant but it seems a bit odd. I hope you're having a good day today.

Southsea, just found your thread. Amazing story and well done you for getting you both to 29 weeks!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope that it all goes well. Have a good day!

Sounds good that the fluid is building up.

How much family does your dp have over there?

Fingers crossed for you. Will you stay put until you deliver? Your baby will have a dual passport!

Hello Southsea, I've just caught up with this thread and am wishing you loads of luck with everything. Again, for a positive story, a good friend of mine had her daughter at 30 weeks, weighing just under 2lbs. She is now a cheeky, tearaway 6 year old with no issues at all from her very early start in life.

All the very best, fingers crossed for you.

Glad to hear things are going well! Hang in there - and still thinking of you!!

I had an emergency CS with DD2 and although I'm a bit cross about it, it's more cross with the universe because sometimes these things are necessary and that was what helped me come to terms with it.

"By the way, if you're bored and have an iPod, iPad or iPhone, can I second Angry Birds? Or Sky Patrol. Bloody addictive!!"

And if you don't have an iPad, look at your DH with puppy eyes and wail that you need one to keep you amused whilst you are confined to bed.

Good one. My DH got his iPad as a vasectomy present :o
You should get a "confined to bed" present!!

Great news on the 29 weeks

And i definitely agree an iPad is a must under the circs. I am sure there must be a tick box for it on the medical insurance claim form

Good luck Southsea - just wanted to add another happy story - my DD was born at 29 weeks, is now 7 and adorable and no long term problems at all. You don't need antenatal classes! Mine was a vaginal birth but that was only allowed because she was head first when I went into labour. If yours is breech or there is any hint of danger or distress they will do a CS, I would have thought. As someone else said, you will still be a proud goddess!
Something silly - get someone to get you a teddy or soft doll to cuddle ready for when baby is out - I felt so lonely without my bump or baby, especially in the middle of the night. And I dressed my teddy in DD's used babygro so I could feel closer when we were separated.

I don't post much on here, more of a lurker, but have just caught up with this thread - what an incredible story so far! You have such courage Southsea, I'm so glad you seem to be handling things so well, and that the hospital over there is treating you well. Very best of luck with everything - I'll be reading to see how you get on!

:)

29wks + 3

Hello! Just checking in to let you know we're still here and still no developments. I would like to respond to you more individually and will have a go later when DP has gone home. He stayed last night and we were lying together on the bed watching a film on TV, him with a beer (only the one)and me scoffing food, so it was almost like being at home in some ways .

Yesterday I had the test for diabetes which involved drinking some horrible sugary stuff and then a blood test. That was all clear. I've also been given some time off the monitor periodically for about an hour to have a stretch, which makes a huge difference. It is starting to get quite tedious though.

However, one of the nurses brought in the mini-DVD player from their Training Dept yesterday, and this morning a couple of them have brought in DVDs from home for me to watch - how nice is that?! I'm chuffed to pieces. I was looking to buy either a notebook or a portable DVD player on Amazon and now won't have to thanks to these lovely ladies. We are going to have to find a pretty special way to say thank you when this is all over.

My question today is: epidural or not? It seems that over here most people opt for an epidural as a first line of pain relief, but my impression in the UK has been that most people try without it and only use it if necessary. But being a complete novice I don't know what the arguments for and against are. When I said I'd like to try without it everyone looked bemused! They don't use gas and air here as it "depresses the mother and baby".

A vaginal birth is still very much an option apparently as Jnr is in the right position - head down and ready to go. I our first scan here s/he was fist first, like Superman . Happily s/he's decided to stay put for now.

I'll call back in later when I've wrestled the laptop back from DP. Thanks everyone for still being here for us xxx

Hi again. Glad all is well.

I can't answer your question as i've only had a CS, but I would have got as far as poss without pain relief if i'd had the option. But then I wanted an active birth and if they are going to continuously monitor you that may well not be an option? Maybe you could have a chat to a nurse/midwife in detail about your options. My understanding of US births is that they are much more doctor-led, and intervention is much more likely. But hopefully someone else will reply with experience and not just rambling!

hello southseas! great job so far. i love how postive you sound.

i had epidurals for both my deliveries here in the states. it serves a purpose. my advice to you would be wait. see how you tolerate things on your own. you will be amazed.

Southsea Personally I would wait and see how you go as once you have the epidural theres no going back from it. I did have one and they are fantastic but they can lead to more intervention. But as Twilight said you will be amazed at how far you can get on your own.

Hehe - yep, the US and the UK have rather differing attitudes to pain relief in childbirth, it has to be said! What you've heard is absolutely right - they think we're crazy for the gas and air (why, I have no idea) and we think they're crazy for their almost obligatory epidurals! It seems to go, "labour", "reach 4cm = automatic epidural, regardless", "sit around chatting, maybe sleep", "if labour slows down below some arbitrary amount, add pitocin (increases risk of interventions)", and finally all being well - "deliver". Of course it helps their anaesthetists are usually immediately available.. not the case in UK hospitals at all. We also have pethidine available to us, not sure if US do or have an equivalent.

PP is right - over here we only see the doctor if something goes wrong or gets complicated.. in the US the doctor usually delivers. I've heard too many stories of women being told not to push(!) despite the fact she really needs to because the doctor hasn't arrived yet which just seems so wrong to me, but hey.

From the Americans I've known on forums, it does seem that mostly only the "crunchy" mommies tend to forgo the epidural - these are also the ones who try and have a more active birth. As a PP says, I'm not sure how easy it would be for you to have an active birth if you needed to be monitored which you may well do this early. But an active birth helps with the pain quite significantly. I had a failed induction with DD2 before ending up with a section, and had to be monitored but I could still pace around/be active within range of the wires, not confined on my back to the bed at all, so it wasn't too bad.

An epidural isn't the end of the world at all, but obviously it's nicer if you can do without it - better for you and better for baby. And most importantly, a lower risk of interventions. Not wanting to scare you but chances are good this early you may well end up with a classical c-section (vertical incision) which is not nice at all, rather than the traditional horizontal one if you end up needing one at all. Hopefully not though!

They are likely to be respectful of you for not wanting one because you're from a different culture which is less epidural-orientated - I am sure they would understand especially as they all sound so nice!

On the plus side, you lucky sod - you don't get to experience an NHS postnatal ward That in itself is beyond priceless and the stuff nightmares are made of!!

Yay for 29+3!! Hit that 30 and things are looking brilliant!

Hi southsea - just saw your post and wanted to say hi! Hope all is well today. My waters broke at 31 and ds was born at 32 - he's now 3 and no problems whatsoever. It's great that the nurses are being sooo nice - glad that's helping you while away the hours.