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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

BABY DIED AT 6 MONTHS

36 replies

tegan · 27/09/2005 13:42

A good friend of mine went for her 2nd anti-natal check 2 weeks ago and was told that they could not find a heart beat, she was sent to the hospital the following morning and told that her baby had been dead for a minimum of 6 weeks so she was induces 56 hours later she gave birth.
Why don't pregnant women seem to be seen as regularly as when I had my kids?

OP posts:

Miaou · 27/09/2005 13:47

that's awful, tegan. Whereabouts in the country are you? Care seems to vary so much.

sweetkitty · 27/09/2005 13:49

thats so awful - thats about what I am now your poor poor friend having to be induced and go through labout must be horrific

think I have been seen once every 6 weeks in this pregnancy, did your friend not feel any movements? I know I get paranoid if I haven't felt anything for a few hours

horseshoe · 27/09/2005 13:49

oh Tegan...Thats awful news and a great loss for your friend. My thoughts are with her...

As for antenatal appointments. I see my MW at 25 weeks for the first time and then from I think 32 weeks every other thursday!

I did think I saw her more often than that for my DD who is now only nearing 3. My friend who is having her first is the same and I think it's nt often enough....

It does vary greatly from region to region though and others will say they have regular antenatal appointments.

Cristina7 · 27/09/2005 13:52

How sad, Tegan. Has she contacted SANDS? In cases of stillbirth the only thing that comes up in research as having a relationship with it is the reduced frequency of hospital/medical contact (not mum's age or order of birth, for example). I don't know your friend's circumstances, but don't forget that nowadays lots of women don't want to have much to do during pg with the medical professionals. And that's not always best.

Original poster

tegan · 27/09/2005 13:52

I had my youngest 17 months ago and I was seen quite regularly but never by the same mw but my sister-in-law is due dec 30th and she was told not to get booked in until 16 weeks and she has only seen the mw once since then for a quick check.
We live in Gloucestershire and I must admit if I have another it will be a home birth

OP posts:

ei23mummy · 27/09/2005 13:56

that is awful im so sorry for your friends loss she must be devastated
i was under the impression that it was policy to see your m/w for a/n checkups every 4 weeks- im 27 weeks now and thats what my a/n care is based on. it obv must vary from region to region but i would have thought it was similar across the country- obv not!! again im so sorry for your loss xx

vickitiredmum · 27/09/2005 13:57

Thats really awful news tegan.

I honestly thought we were hard pushed for decent care down here in London but obviously not. I had first booking in appt with MW at 12 weeks and then every 4 weeks thereafter until 28 weeks when it was fortnightly and weekly at 36 weeks (although from that point i was up the hospital every other day for monitoring for high BP anyway).

My thoughts are with your friend

Original poster

tegan · 27/09/2005 14:01

Thanks for you're kind words.
I couldn't believe it the sis-in-law said she didn't have to book in until 16 weeks, surely you need loads of reasurance and guidance especially with you're first

OP posts:

Cristina7 · 27/09/2005 14:07

Also some screening tests (for those who want them) need to be done before the end of the 12th week.

daisy1999 · 27/09/2005 14:08

so sorry for your friend. Is it just me or does it seem unnecessarily cruel to induce? If it were me I'd want a c section.

horseshoe · 27/09/2005 14:09

Just looked at my anenatal notes...

Booked in with MW 8wks
scan @ hospital 12 wks
consultant appointment 17wks
scan @ hospital 20-24 weeks
MW 25 weeks then every 4 until 32 wks when every 2 and then every week 36 onwards

So all in all I will see my MW about 6-7 times in this pregnancy.

Your poor friend though....was there an obvious reason for the babes death? Not knowing is just as bad!

tortoiseshell · 27/09/2005 14:10

I think induction is generally the best thing tbh - a C-section is major surgery, and by what my friend said when a similar thing happened to her, they don't stint on the pain relief - because it isn't an issue about drugs crossing the placenta they can give you the works.

So sad to hear this news - horrible end to a pregnancy.

Original poster

tegan · 27/09/2005 14:11

The hospital did offer her a post mortem but she declined

OP posts:

daisy1999 · 27/09/2005 14:13

I know the arguement given by the hospital is that it is major surgery but they are willing to do it for women giving birth almost on request. I just can't imagine how traumatic it must be to give birth to a baby you know is already dead.

marne · 27/09/2005 14:24

Ive only been to see the midwife once and im 15+ weeks, havnt got to go again till after 20 wk scan. I dont think this is enough! Im sure i saw the midwife more often with dd, alot can happen in that 5-6 weeks between apointments.

cori · 27/09/2005 14:27

A similar thing happened to me, though I was nowhere near that far a long. I was four and half months, I found out that the baby had died during a scan. I was induced, despite it being traumatic, it is the best way to do it. I was able to leave the hospital 12 hours later and go home. If i had a ceaserean ( I had one for DS) I would have had to stay in hospital for days and the emotional and physical recovery prolonged.
They also give you very good pain relief, I had a PCA so i was quite out of it really.

daisy1999 · 27/09/2005 14:29

so sorry cori.

cori · 27/09/2005 14:38

Dont worry, it was in April of this year. I am better now, and am pregnant again.

Marina · 27/09/2005 14:48

Totally agree there cori. I had an induced delivery for ds2, who was found to have died about a week before the scan, at 21.5 weeks. The care I had was very good and sensitive, but the key thing was being able to walk out of there the next morning, in bits mentally but not still catheterised/barely able to shuffle.
Tegan, that delivery must have been completely harrowing for your poor friend. Could not agree more that frequent check-ups might have at least diagnosed the baby's death sooner. She was very, very lucky not to have developed a serious infection in that six weeks

Marina · 27/09/2005 14:48

And cori congratulations on conceiving again. We did too

matthewsmummy · 27/09/2005 15:41

so sorry to hear about your friend it must have been awful. best wishes to her and the family

matthewsmummy · 27/09/2005 15:42

congrats to cori

vala · 27/09/2005 15:50

When my first baby died suddenly at 33wks, I was told that they don?t do CS because of the recovery time and possible complications with subsequent pregnancies ? like you think you?re EVER gonna get pregnant again after that!! I certainly didn?t.

I was told I would be induced and given all the pain relief possible ? told I would definitely get a spinal block ? In actual fact I got nothing until the last 20 mins of the delivery.
They inserted the pessarys and left me to it. Hours later when the midwife can to do some obs at last I was told to stop making such a fuss or the doctor would not administer the epidural!!

I told the midwife that I thought it was too late anyway and that she had better have a look. She tutted and came over to have a ?pacifying? look and low and behold ? my little boys bottom was already born ? (breach).
I got some Pethadine pretty quickly after that ? but all too late.

The whole thing was horrendous ? put in a side room to sleep ? no counselling or offer to see one.
When I woke up and asked to go home, they sent in a doctor to give me a post partum Rubella injection as my bloods suggested I wasn?t immune. He then told me not to get pregnant again for at least 3 months and off I went.

Post mortem showed nothing ? so no answers.

Happy to say, that I did get pregnant again some 7 months later and have a lovely 3 year old DS. The care and attention I received during that pregnancy was completely different ? scanned every 2 weeks. Probably just as well though, as he had stopped growing at 34 wks so they whipped him out!!

sweetkitty · 27/09/2005 16:04

what a horrendous story vala so happy you had a lovely DS and a much better experience.

Original poster

tegan · 27/09/2005 20:17

congrats to cori - my mate had a little boy but after delivery they put her on the maternity ward over night which I think was totally dispicable. When my mum had a miscarriage at 11 weeks (after 8 years of ops and ivf) she got put on the ward with teenagers having abortions

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